Jay and Silent Bob vs. The Labyrinth

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters; the characters within the Labyrinth belong to Jim Henson, and Jay, Silent Bob, Dante, and Randall belong to Kevin Smith. This story however, is a figment of my imagination

AN: Here is chapter 10...long awaited by some...Right Larina??? LOL


Chapter 10 – The Truth COMES OUT

Sarah and Jay walked in silence through the Junk Yard for what seemed like an eternity.

"So...ah...why do you want to ride my bone so bad?"

Sarah sighed and rolled her eyes as she turned around to face Jay.

"Because I knew you were all talk." Sarah said a little sympathetically.

"What?? What are you talking about? I'll fuckin show my shit to you right now and you can commence with the sucking!"

"Okay, whip it out."

"What, right now?"

"Yeah, right now...lets see this monstrous beast."

"Uh...well I...I think that might be a bad idea."

"Oh? How so?"

"Your freakish boyfriend might get all pissed off and use some voodoo shit on me."

"Ah, so you're afraid."

"No, well...I mean..."

"Look Jay, I wasn't going to say anything before, but I saw your little fantasy...I know you're..."

"What? You know I'm what??"

"G.A.Y...Gay."

"That's ridiculous...me??? Gay???"

Sarah just looked at him unflinchingly and waited for him to give in.

"Alright, alright...so I've never actually made it with a chick...so what."

Sarah crossed her arms over her chest waiting for Jay to admit the whole truth.

"So I had a fantasy about guys, that doesn't mean I've ass-tagged them!"

"Okay, fine, fine. Let's just forget about it, okay?"

"Oh no you don't, you have to SWEAR that you won't EVER breathe a word of this to Silent Bob. If he heard about this, he's never let me hear the end of it."

"Okay, fine, I swear. Can we continue now please? I see the gates to the Goblin City just over there."

"NOT A WORD!!!!"

"Alright already, Jesus..."

Jay continued walking with Sarah just behind him. As they looked around, Sarah noticed there were junk piles everywhere. She remembered the last time she was in this junkyard, she found what she thought was her bedroom, but it had only been another of Jareth's tricks to make her forget.

"Hey, what's that over there?"

"What?"

"That!" Jay said as he pointed to a moving junk pile.

Sarah looked in the direction of Jay's pointing finger to see the junk pile slowly moving across the yard.

"Oh, it's probably just that creepy junk yard lady...she carries a lot of stuff on her back."

"Oh...why the fuck does she do that?"

"How the hell should I know? I didn't exactly ask her...hmm, let's see, 'excuse me creepy junk yard lady, but why do you have so much shit on your back?'...No Jay, I didn't ask her."

"Okay, you don't have to be such a bitch about it...I was just askin'."

"HEY! Hey you! Creepy Junk Yard Lady!" Jay shouted over at the moving junk pile.

"Oh God..." Sarah muttered to herself in embarrassment.

Jay ran over to the junk pile until he saw the withered woman hunched over beneath the weight of all her junk possessions.

"Why are you carrying so much shit on your back? The bums back home push all their shit around in shopping carts they ripped off from the grocery stores..."

The junkyard lady looked at Jay completely baffled.

Jay looked around and spotted an old discarded carriage that he grabbed and pushed over to the junkyard lady.

"Here, put all your shit in this. It'll keep ya from getting a hunchback like fuckin Kwazimodo."

The junkyard lady put some stuff in the cart and her face lit up in a smile as some of the pressure was relieved from her back.

"There, you see? Now you're a sophisticated bum." Jay said reassuringly to the woman as her placed a hand delicately on her withered shoulder.

Sarah slapped Jay on the elbow and urged him to head towards the Goblin City gates.

Sarah looked back at the Junkyard lady, who was still staring at them, and offered, "I'm sorry, he has a bit of a mental problem."

The Junkyard lady nodded and moved happily on her way pushing the cart in front of her.

"Okay, last time I was here, all the goblins attacked us, and the only way I was able to make it to the castle was because Ludo called the rocks for help."

"How big are these Goblins, anyway?" Jay asked.

"Oh, I don't know, about this high?" Sarah hunched down low to show Jay they weren't much taller than her knees. "Some are a little taller, but not much."

"You're fuckin serious?"

"What?"

"You couldn't get past a bunch of ankle biters that are only as tall as your kneecaps?"

"I was younger then, and there were so many of them..."

"Oh man, I'll just drop kick that shit like the fuckin Taco Bell dog. Lets get Silent Bob and get the HELL outta this fucked up wonderland."

Sarah sighed and followed Jay up the gates of the Goblin city. Sarah looked down at the watch Jay had given to her when they had first entered the Labyrinth.

"Um, Houston? We have a problem..." Sarah shouted sarcastically.

"What now?"

"When was the last time you changed the battery on this watch?"

"Never, why?"

"Well Genius, the watch fuckin' died!"

"What? When?"

"How the hell should I know? Not too long after we left the fireys it looks like..."

"So how much time do we have?"

"I don't fuckin know, we have probably wasted a lot and didn't even friggin realize it...FUCK!" Sarah screamed in frustration.

"Calm down, let's just get in there and do this...we might still be able to make it..."

"Oh yeah? And what if we don't? Are you willing to take that chance?"

"Looks like we have to...you never know, maybe with a little head bobbin' action on your part we could make a deal or something..."

"Asshole...Let's not waste any more time..."

"After you, sweet cheeks."