I didn't feel right with Spinner, it was like I didn't belong with him. I wasn't good enough for him. I had been raped...degraded...it was awful. Images of Dean flooded my mind, I felt like I could hardly breathe. I wanted to scratch his eyes out. I pulled the blanket over my face, curling into a ball on my bed. Tears escaped my eyes, pouring down my cheeks. I cried soft tears of despair, wanting to be the way I was before, knowing I would never be.
I heard a gentle knock on the door. "Go away!"
The door opened anyway. "Paige?" Dylan said.
"Who else would be in my room?" I asked, turning my back to him, wiping a tear away.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Nothing...just leave me alone, okay?"
"Paige Michalchuk doesn't cry her eyes out for nothing," he said. he sat down next to me on the bed. "Now, what's going on? You haven't been the same since..."
"Grade 9?" I finished. "Yeah, I know. Now can you go away? Please?"
"Have you ever thought about going to a support group?" he asked.
I scoffed. "Right...and air my dirty laundry in public? No thank you."
"What happened to seeing the schools' psychologist?" he asked.
I shrugged. "I don't need to...I'm over it."
"Is this what you call 'over it'?" he asked.
"Are you done now?" I asked.
"Dammit, Paige, I'm not done!" he exclaimed.
His sudden out burst of anger frightened me. I sat up and looked at him. "You don't know what its like, Dylan. You don't know how it feels to lose something sacred to you against your will. And you don't know what its like to see the bastard let off without a slap on the wrist...because you were too scared to report him when it happened?" Tears streamed down my cheeks, I wiped them away with an angry fist.
"Paige...I'm sorry. I know that nothing I can say will ever make up for what happened. That's why you need to talk to somebody...somebody who will understand. Its in your best interest, Paige."
"No," I said. "I can't. I know it will help...but I just can't. I can't talk about it, it hurts too much."
He nodded, but said nothing. After a few moments of silence, he stood and walked from the room.

The next day in class, I was spacing out again. I hadn't gotten much sleep the night before. What Dylan had said really got to me, because I knew he was right. I needed to talk about it...but I couldn't. it had been everything I could do to talk to Miss Souvez after it had happened.
"Paige?" Miss Kwan was saying to me.
"Yes?" I looked up.
"I need your essay that you were supposed to write for me last night," she said.
"Oh...right," I handed her the computer print out of my essay.
She eyed me and moved to the next row.

"Paige?" Ashley said to me during lunch.
"Yeah?" I asked, looking across the table to her.
"Does Craig look alright to you?" she asked.
I followed her gaze across the lunch yard. Craig sat in a corner, by himself, strumming his guitar. "Yeah, I guess. Why wouldn't he be alright?"
"He hasn't really been the same since Manny had the abortion," she told me.
"Oh," I said. "He does look kind of sad. Maybe its just post-abortion- blues," I said.
"Yeah.''
"Do you still love him?" I asked.
"I'll always love him...but I'm not in love with him. After what he did to Manny and me, I just don't think that there is hope for us."
"Well, everyone makes mistakes. Remember what happened with Jimmy when you took Ecstasy?"
She groaned. "Don't remind me. I can't believe I fooled around...with Sean!"
"Well, like love, drugs make people do crazy things."
"Yeah," she agreed.