I sat down at my lunch table, not very talkative, like always...well, lately. I saw Spinner across the room, but he didn't come sit with me...like he usually did. He went to sit with Jimmy.
"Why isn't Spinner sitting with you, Paige?" Ashley asked.
"Oh...we...uh, we broke up," I said. I used my fork to roll the food around my plate.
"Oh...why?" she asked.
I shrugged. "It wasn't working out."
She looked from my plate to me, back to the plate...and then back to me. "Aren't you going to eat?"
"I'm not hungry," I said.
"Oh," she said. the conversation came to a stop when Hazel and Terri walked up to the table.
"Paige, we heard about Spinner," Hazel said.
"And we're so sorry," Terri finished.
"It's okay...can we not talk about this?" I said. "It hurts."
They nodded. I could still feel Ashley's eyes on me.

After school, I was getting my things and putting them in my knapsack. I heard footsteps behind me. for a split second...I thought it might be Dean. But when I turned around, it was Ashley.
"Ash, you scared me," I forced a laugh. "What's up?"
"I saw what happened today," she said.
"What are you talking about?" I asked nervously, returning to my locker.
"Is everything okay?" she asked. "Because...I've noticed that you've lost some weight, and today you weren't eating...and you broke up with Spinner...this isn't like you, Paige."
"Its none of your business," I said.
"Are you Anorexic?" she asked.
"No," I said. "I'm under pressure and I haven't had much of an appetite...but I am still eating. Is that a freaking crime?"
"Why won't you talk to somebody, it doesn't have to be me, it doesn't have to be Spinner or Ms. Souvez....just somebody."
"I don't need to talk, I'm fine," I insisted.
"Paige! You are not fine!" She said, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me. "You need help...you're really depressed...I can see it, Paige," he voice became more gentle. "Let someone help you, please."
I held back tears. "It hurts to talk...Ashley...it hurts to breathe...I can't talk about it. I wont talk about the rape!"
She stared at me. "When you're ready to talk, you know where I'll be."
When she was out of sight, I slammed my locker door angrily and slid to a sitting position. I tried to get myself together, tried to quit crying...tried to breathe.
"Are you okay?" I heard a masculine voice ask.
I looked up to see Craig, leather jacket and all, standing above me. his hand was held out to help me up. "I'm fine," I said, taking his hand so he could help me up.
"I know," he said. "But you look upset."
"Please don't tell me you're one of those people who say 'talking helps'," I groaned.
"No, I'm not," he laughed. "Actually, talking sucks."
With that, he disapeared down the hallway.

That night, I sat on my bed. I hadnt eaten in days...my stomach was so hungry. I wanted to eat, but I knew that I was fat. I knew that I couldn't...I knew that I had to lose weight. I went to the scale in the bathroom to weigh myself. I stepped on the scale. 120 pounds. See, I told myself, you are fat. And ugly. And you don't deserve Spinner...no matter how much you love him.

A/N: I'm not saying that 120 pounds is fat. I just put that in there to show you her state of mind. So don't be offended. Please.