A/N mmm.... I feel Josh angst coming soon.... HUGE thankyou to my reviewers I rely on you guys for support! Hear that readers, review... review... you know you want to. And don't worry, I know it's a little slow but I think I'm warming up to something interesting... I hope ; ) And I haven't beta-d this, so there might be some mistakes but bear with me!
Donna flinched as the water ran over her, too hot. She adjusted the temperature and sighed. What was going on here? She closed her eyes and let the warm water relax her. She'd been on edge for three weeks and it felt like her back and shoulders were seized up. Being worried about Josh is bad enough, but being really worried about him when he's bouncing off the walls is just not good. Not good for anyone, but mostly not good for Donna.
She had been the first person to notice his craziness and it had been eating her up. She never thought something so small could cause that much pain, but when he walked into the office the other day with that bandage on his hand she thought she might die. It was just too much of a coincidence for him to have accidentally cut his hand now, and the thought that he had been driven to self mutilation and she couldn't help was just... She shook the thought out of her head. How many times had she been in Leo's office over the past three weeks. Thank God he'd noticed to, at first he said they should just watch and see if it fixes itself, then he said they should wait for the ATVA guy, let a professional take care of it. Donna realized that had she tried to talk to Josh, she could have just made things worse, but the urge to just hold him and tell him everything was ok was unbearable. Until last night, obviously, when she got the opportunity to do just that.
But it hadn't relieved her as much as she would have liked. Sure, Josh admitting he had a problem and asking for help was this giant, magnanimous leap towards the good, but still. He seemed... too calm. She knew he was hiding something, putting on a happy face. At least it would relax everyone else. The 'Josh-caused-tension' amongst the staff had been reaching unbearable heights.
She turned the water off, stepped out of the shower and quickly towelled off. A slight smile was brought to her face by the sounds of 'Everybody's Gonna Be Happy' drifting in from the next room. Sadly though, this was only confirming her 'he's way too happy' theory. Oh well. All she could do was be here for him and just wait and see. She pulled her clothes on and walked towards the kitchen, laughing a little at the sight of Josh trying to find food other than beer and coffee, in his apartment. Yeah right.
Josh smiled a little as he clapped eyes on Donna. For no reason he could identify, seeing her made him feel just that little bit better. 'Feel better?' he asked.
'Aren't I supposed to be asking you that?' she replied lightly.
'Sit down,' he continued, 'and I'll bring you some coffee.' She complied as he continued, 'Then we can go out for breakfast, because I just don't think cooked food in this apartment is gonna happen.' Patented, lopsided, Josh smile.
Josh poured out a mug of coffee and placed it gently in Donna's waiting hands. He stood by the coffee maker, absently toying with his empty mug as he waited for more to appear in the pot. His mind was running over yesterday gain and again, trying to absorb everything at once. It was as if he hadn't been registering anything for the past three weeks, and now, slowly, his memories were coming back to him.
His coffee mug hit the floor, bouncing off the soft linoleum. 'Shit,' he breathed, staring straight ahead like a deer caught in the headlights.
'Huh?' Donna noticed his frozen posture.
'Shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT!' Josh slowly grew more agitated until he was yelling. He broke from his freeze and started pacing violently up and down his kitchen, rubbing his face and muttering unintelligibly to himself.
'Josh?' Donna was standing up from her seat to walk over to him, adrenaline pumped through her by fear. 'Josh, what's wrong?' she was scared now. Needless to say, recent events had left her a little on edge.
He was hitting his forehead with the heel of his hand in frustration, 'I can't believe I DID THAT!'
'Josh,' she asked, not sure if she wanted to know the answer, 'What did you do?'
He was silent in half remorse, half embarrassment.
'Josh?'
'I yelled at the President.' He admitted quietly.
Donna let out a sigh of relief. 'Is that it?' she asked, relieved.
'Is that it?' he mocked her snidely.
'Josh!' she protested.
'I'm sorry, Donna,' he said genuinely, 'I just,' he hesitated, 'you just, you don't yell at the President of the United States because you're having a psychotic episode!'
'No, Josh, you yell at everyone when you're having a psychotic episode, that's the way it works.' Donna scolded.
He looked up at her, 'I have to apologise.' He started moving, reaching for such conveniences as clothes and shoes.
'No Josh, you can't,' Donna moved to stop him, grabbing his arm to gently restrain him, 'you can't disturb the President on Christmas morning, and besides he's in Manchester!'
Josh paused and looked at her, looking conflicted and heart-breakingly scared, I can't?' he asked.
'You can't' she reiterated quietly, 'You can apologise to him some time when it's not Christmas. Or maybe later today.'
He looked at her hand still on his arm and then back to her face, looking a little comforted, 'I can.' He accepted.
And besides, ' she smiled warmly, 'you'd ruin our nice little plan'.
'You're right' he acquiesced.
'Damn strait' she muttered under her breath.
'What was that?'
'Nothing,' an innocent smile beamed from Donna.
'Right,' Josh laughed a little, 'right.'
'Now come on,' Donna enthused, 'let's get some breakfast.'
'Kay,' Josh looked around a little lost.
Donna tried to smile but couldn't help the thought. Even though he seemed a lot better now, it hurt her heart to see him this lost. It'll get better. She thought, People get better. Give him time.
'Look at you,' she tsked, snapping him out of it a little, 'you're a mess. Look at your hair.'
Donna smiled as he looked up, as if he were trying to see the top of his head. 'Let's go,' she said.
And a hint of a dimpled smile followed her out.
