Title: Showers, Spuds and Strangled cats

Author: Secret Art

Date: 25th September 2004

Rating: PG

Category: extreme silliness

Pairings: Sam/Jack

Spoilers: Pete is in it

Summary: Sam gets a wake up call.

Archive: wherever you want, I'm not fussy

Feedback: can only make me better

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author.

Author's note: Thanks to SamC for helping to inspire my muse, and the title. Oh, and no cats or potatoes were harmed in the making of this fic (she suggested I added that lol)

Sam froze, hearing what sounded like a cat being strangled. Running towards the noise, terrified that Pete was actually killing her cat like he had threatened to do after it had tripped him up at the top of the stairs the night before.

She spotted the cat curled up on the sofa and sighed in relief, slowly following the noise through her house, pausing when it stopped.

She jumped when it started up again, louder than before, coming from her bathroom.

Opening the door cautiously, she gasped as she saw Pete stood in the shower, apparently trying to sing.

She took a deep breath, trying not to be sick at the sight in front of her.

Running from the room, she picked up the phone and the cat on the way to her bedroom, closing and locking the door behind her.

Picking up the phone, she speed dialled Janet.

"Hello?"

"Janet! You were right! He does look like a potato, an old wrinkly one!"

"Oh my, you had to see that? I'll book you in for a counselling session tomorrow."

"Thanks Janet."

"Where are you now?"

"I'm hiding in the bedroom with the cat...he was 'singing' too Janet...It was horrible."

"Ok, you two need to get out of there now, I'll send in some of the marines to get it out, they are supposed to have the strongest stomachs."

"Ok, we're leaving now, thank you Janet."

She put the phone down, sneaking out of the house, holding the cat close to her chest, silently opening and closing the front door.

She stopped outside his car, puncturing one of the tyres in the hope of keeping him at the house until the marines arrive.

Kissing her cat on the head, she dropped it to the ground, hoping that it had the sense to stay as far away as possible until her house was safe again.

Jumping in the car, she quickly drove to Jack's house, knowing that he was the only person Pete really hated.

Parking the car she ran to his door, and he opened it before she had the chance to knock.

"Janet called me, told me what was happening, said you might come here."

He moved inside, allowing her to enter too.

"How could I have been so stupid?"

"We did try to warn you."

"Yeah, but I didn't think he would actually look like a spud, I thought you were all just calling him that because you didn't like him."

Jack laughed slightly, collapsing into the sofa, Sam sitting down next to him.

"Now what?"

"Now I help you forget that you ever had to see something so horrible."

She grinned, "How are you going to do that?"

"We're going to make chips."