P.S. I don't own POTC though I wish I did, or most of the dialogue presented below. Also a quote from the Simpsons is in there, fitting, isn't it?
I woke up from the same dream I had had since I was twelve, when I had rescued and met Will Turner on the crossing from England to Port Royal, Jamaica. When I walked over to my desk, opening the secret compartment. There was the dusty pirate medallion I had stolen from him.
I cannot deny that I thought it was beautiful. But I was more worried about Will being punished for wearing it. Weatherby Swann, my loving but severely strict father/governor, would surely do something horrible. So I took it.
I smoothed the dust off of the coin, and lifted up the chain to secure it around my neck. I modeled it in my mirror. A knock came at my door. Panicking, I rushed to put on my robe and rip off the jewelry. I flung it onto my bed. "Yes, yes!" I almost shrieked.
"Still abed at this hour?" Father entered with my maids, Estrella and Mary. They were carrying a large box, which carried the most gorgeous dress I had ever seen. They started dressing me with this odd fixture that went around my waist. I let out a little gasp when Estrella tightened it. My ribs!
Father informed me that it was the latest fashion in London. I thought this poppycock but did not say so. He waited patiently as the maids helped me get ready. Finally, they secured a small hat on my head with a scarf and we set off downstairs, to go to Captain Norrington's promotion ceremony.
How did I get myself hired by a drunkard? I thought to myself as I played with a candelabra. Suddenly it snapped off. Looking around wildly, I stuck it in a small pot just as their butler walked by.
The governor met with me. I displayed the sword I crafted, even showing off a trick I had practiced. Swann was impressed. But then he had to spoil the good atmosphere by implying that Mr. Brown had made the sword, not me. I decided not to make waves and smiled wanly. Elizabeth appeared at the stairwell. I tried not to stare, but she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She descended regally and told me she had a dream about me. I tried not to seem too interested but Governor Swann stopped it. I called Elizabeth Miss Swann again, and suddenly her demeanor was cool. "Good day, Mr. Turner," she said icily. She left in her carriage. I watched them leave, whispering, "Goodbye. . . Elizabeth."
I had heard about the fancy ceremony happening at Fort Charles and of course, I was not invited. Why would I be? A lowly blacksmith. Apprentice, one could say fairly. But I was so much more than that. No one could see it, though.
I am so great. I am so great. Everybody loves me, I am so great. Except those bastards on the Black Pearl. Leavin' me fer dead. Who do they think I am? Wankers. To my horror, Annamaria's boat was filling with water. After a futile attempt to fix the hole, I looked at the approaching shore. I saluted the three skeletons swaying in the wind. "Pirates Ye Be Warned," the sign read. I laughed inwardly. But I'm Captain Jack Sparrow!
I made my spectacular entrance, leaving the Jolly Mon submerged in the harbor for the most part. The nosy harbormaster made me give up three of my shillings for a whole bag of his, so I failed to see the threat. Keeping a low profile, I wound my way around the dock. I felt more jingly than usual, but a pocketful of money is nothing to complain about. I spotted a majestic ship- the H.M.S. Dauntless. It longed to be commandeered by yours truly.
The two guards who were "protecting" it were a sorry lot. All they were doing before I crept up were lounging about on their arses. One of them was quite fat too.
"Apparently there's some sort of high toned and fancy to-do up at the fort, eh? How could it be that two upstanding gentlemen such as yourselves did not merit an invitation?" I asked them, relatively innocently.
The guards exchanged looks. I caught them off-guard. Har har. I did not care about their answer, I had moved onto another topic- speedy ships.
The skinny one said, "Oh, the Dauntless is the power in these waters, true enough, but there's no ship as can match the Interceptor for speed."
I feigned a thoughtful look. "I've heard of one, supposed to be very fast and nigh un-catchable. . . the Black Pearl."
While they argued about the reality of the Pearl, I slipped away to play with the wheel. At last they noticed me, brandishing their bayonets. I would bet me hat on the fact that they did not how to use their weapons.
I managed to confuse them with my clever word play, once again, but I settled down to regale them with my adventures. I had time to spare.
