A/N: my excuses for those who don't understood the werefish-jokes… On the forum where this is being written, the werefishes I invented for my fict "The Goldfish" are very, very famous…

"Kwunk" said the pan when it hit Severus' head. It echoed nicely around the kitchen. Less nice was the effect it had on Severus: he paled, his eyes glassed over and he passed out on the floor.
"Oops" said Remus.
"THAT IS MY BOYFRIEND YOU JUST KNOCKED OUT COLD!" Linda bellowed. Remus (and the rest of the group, come to that) cowered in fear as she started to resemble Snape more and more. A very angry Snape that is. "HOW DARE YOU DO THAT?!"
"I - um," stammered Remus.
"REMUS, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY KITCHEN!"
"Note to self," Anne whispered to the other Linda, "never ever piss Linda off..."

"Unless you're suicidal…" replied Linda, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
Anne turned on her legilimency. "Yeah, I do… on the count of three. One… two… THREE!"
Linda and Anne pointed their non-GMS wands at Linda and yelled 'Petrificus Totalus!'.
Linda's arms snapped to her sides and legs sprang together.
Her whole body rigid, she swayed where she stood and then fell flat on her face, stiff as a board.
Remus, on the other hand, was able to stand up again, though he needed the help of the other Linda, while a huge lump was coming up on his head where Linda had hit him.
"Why did you two petrify her?" he asked while rubbing his head.
"So she can't attack us anymore –" started Linda.
"- And she can cool down a bit - ." said Anne.
"- Because only her body is petrified -" said Linda.
"- And she can still hear us." finished Anne.
Remus looked at Linda and Anne. "You can turn off the legilimency again..."

"Talking about cooling down...... does anyone have some ice for that lump on my head?" Remus asked.
"No..." Linda said, "but I know a little spell to get rid of it," she added with an angelic smile.
"Err..... I can handle that myself, thanks...." Remus replied, raising his eyebrows slightly.
"Hey, we have to cool Linda down, don't we? And we've got this nice duck pond in the yard, we can throw her in!" Sirius suggested.
"No, we can't, as she's petrified and she'll drown then," Anne said. "But I can throw you in of course, because you're wearing that nice, white shirt..."
"I've got a bad feeling about this..." Linda begun.
"I don't sense anything," Anne replied.
"Well, maybe if you hadn't watched Star Wars that much, you would have," Severus said.
"Is there anyone trying to un-Petrify my girlfriend here, or do we keep discussing how well a wet, white shirt suits Sirius?" Remus asked.

"Well, why don't YOU unpetrify your girlfriend?" asked Sirius. Remus has the grace to blush at his own thoughtlessness and quickly waved his wand over Linda. She was finally able to move again, and got to her feet. The other Linda (who has been petrified in the first place, but due to Anne not paying attention Remus' Linda got petrified as well) was still lying on the floor, glaring evilly at everybody save maybe Severus. Speaking of Severus... he was still out cold, lying peacefully next to his girlfriend, and the possible GMS of this made Sirius flinch because of the mental images.

A/N: don't forget to review! :)