I have returned!!! Yay me!!! Seeing as how the storm is passing through and it's pouring out, I have no where to go and I figured I'd update this story. This chapter will focus more on Rachel and the situation at hand and what she does the deal with it. It's rough and sad so get ready. It's also a long chapter.

This chapter was also inspired by the song "Dare you to Move" by Switchfoot. So before reading this I suggest downloading it and reading it with the music in the background although cause it is so long you might have to play it again. Just an idea, it's what I was listening to as I wrote it. That said – En-Joey!!!

One week later

Joey walked up the steps to his floor, carefully carrying the grocery bags, tilting to one side so they wouldn't fall. He shuffled to his door and leaned his shoulder against it, crouching down to gently allow a few bags to slip to the floor. He took his free hand and searched his jeans pockets for his key. He finally found it and pulled it out, grasping the bags so they wouldn't fall and putting the key in the lock. He unlocked the door and unable to turn the actual doorknob, leaned his back against the door and walked backwards to push it open.

Rachel, sitting in Joey's chair, looked up when she heard someone enter the apartment and turned the chair using her feet, a smile spreading across her face when she saw that it was Joey.

"Hey!"

"Holy shit!" Joey yelled, caught off guard by the fact that she was awake, and the bags slipped out of his hands. Rachel gasped, cringing when they hit the floor, groceries spilling out of the bags. He slowly turned around and grinned his sideways smile at her, nodding his head.

"Hi Rach."

"Oh, Joey I'm so sorry! I only saw your back; I didn't know you were carrying bags." She got up and went over to him, stepping around the food on the floor. He scratched his head, crouching down to look through the bags.

"No it's okay, the eggs and bread were in the bags out in the hall. Nothing broke or squished."

"Oh that's good," Rachel smiled. Joey looked up at her, seeing that she was wearing his Knicks sweatshirt that was much too big on her. It came to her knees and she tiptoed over him to get the bags in the hallway, holding her arms across her chest. He smiled to himself, surprised she was awake. He hadn't seen her up in two days. She either stayed in her room or slept and here she was, walking around the apartment, helping him out. He scooped the food back into the bags and picked them up, putting them on the counter.

Rachel walked back through the doorway, holding the bags, balancing a box under her chin, hooking her foot on the edge of the door and pulling her leg to swing it shut. Joey looked at her and laughed as she began to fall backwards, holding too many heavy bags. He gripped her arm and pulled her closer to him, taking a few of the groceries out of her hands. She breathed a sigh of relief and giggled, her eyes sparkling with laughter. Joey grinned and sorted through the bags, placing the different food items on the counter in different places. Perishables bear the refrigerator, cereal under the cabinets, cleaner under the sink with the child lock on it. Rachel pulled at the hem of the sweatshirt, going back to her seat, pulling her knees to her chest and stretching the sweatshirt over her legs. Joey looked up and grinned, the corners of his eyes crinkling in amusement. She looked so cute and innocent, not at all the distraught woman she really was. He was afraid to say anything and cause her to retreat back to her room. So he eyes the ice cream carton still in the bag and a smile crossed his face.

"Hey Rach?"

"Yeah?" she asked, looking up. He held up the pint of Ben and Jerry's and watched as her eyes lit up instantly when she recognized the label.

"Chunky Monkey?" she inquired softly. Joey nodded and he pulled open the silverware drawer, reaching for a spoon. He walked over to her, handing the gift out to her and she happily accepted, pulling off the lid and digging right in. It was the first time he noticed how skinny she had gotten and he wondered the last time she had eaten. None of the food in the apartment had been touched at all in the past week. He backed away from her, also seeing how pale her face was; dark bags under her eyes, and normally blue eyes were now a dark grey. It scared him, she was slowly killing herself.

"Oh God Joe, it's so good," she laughed, bringing the spoon back to her mouth. Joey nodded, holding a hand over his mouth, not sure what to do.

"When was the last time you ate something?" Her smile fell instantly, her brow furrowed and the spoon clinked in the carton. She placed it next to her on the table and began to get up when Joey quickly stepped forward.

"Rach, wait."

"No I uhm... Emma-"

"Emma's napping." Rachel found him standing a foot away from her and looked down, ashamed. She didn't even know where her own baby was. A tear rolled down her cheek and Joey wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly. She buried her head into his shoulder, her tears seeping through his tee shirt. He kissed the side of her head, running a hand up and down her back, able to feel her spine through the thick sweatshirt.

"It's okay," he whispered.

"No... No it's not," she sobbed. He turned around, still holding onto her, and slowly sat down into his chair. Rachel climbed onto his lap, huddled in a ball, her frail body shaking. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to help.

"Come on hun, you're shutting everyone out. You gotta tell me what's wrong." She shook her head and he sighed, holding onto her.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't know what's wrong with me," she responded softly. Rachel leaned back, adjusting herself so she was sitting on the arm of the chair, her legs up against his chest and her feet on the other arm. Joey looked up at her, reaching up to brush her bangs away from her face. She was hurt, he could see it in her eyes.

"I know about Emma." He looked questioningly at her.

"How you take care of her at night."

"Oh... It's okay-"

"No Joey, it's not. I don't... I don't why I take the pills. I can't help it," she said thoughtfully, twisting her hands nervously. He wrapped his hands around hers.

"It's okay. You'll get through this."

"I don't know..."

"You will." She looked down at him and sadly smiled, shaking her head, and reaching down to hug him again. Joey didn't know how to re-act, he didn't know what to say to that, he could only sit there.

"Ross isn't as good to her as you are," she laughed somewhat. Joey looked at her as she got up off the recliner, putting the ice cream back in the freezer. She wiped at her eyes and took a deep breath.

"You're doing it again."

"What?"

"This... act," he said as if he were disgusted. Rachel let out a laugh and shook her head.

"You're not fooling me. You can't just put on a smile and pretend like everything's fine Rach!"

"Why not? Why can't I pretend?" Joey looked at her questioningly, letting her go with this. She leaned one hand on the counter, standing across from him.

"I lost my job Joey! I have no money... I can't take care of my baby. I can't fix things with Ross. Ross doesn't even want to take care of Emma! Did he tell you that?" she practically shouted. Joey was shocked, shaking his head, unsure why anyone wouldn't want the baby sleeping in the other room.

"Why?" he whispered. Rachel shrugged her shoulders, pacing the kitchen.

"He says he never wanted another baby with another failed marriage. He doesn't want her Joey," she sniffled, pointing to her room.

"I can't even take care of her. I didn't know she was asleep and she was in my room the whole time you were gone! I can't tell you what kind of food she eats now. What kind of story she likes someone to read to her. Her favorite stuffed animal, anything! You have her or my mother has her! Or Monica! And they don't mind but I do! I care when you watch her Joey! I care when you get up in the middle of the night! I care," she broke down in sobs, sinking to the floor out of his sight, holding her hands over her face. Joey got up and slowly walked around the corner and saw her crying, hiding her face behind her knees. He sat down on the floor and let her cry against him. They stayed like that for a few minutes before Joey got the strength to say anything.

"Why do you take the pills?"

"To escape," she said easily, as if it made everything okay.

"I love you Joey, you know that right?" she asked, looking up at him.

"I love you too Rach. I'm always here for you." She nodded, pressing her face into his shirt.

"Thank you for everything. You're the best thing for Emma. You're the only one who actually cares about her."

"That's not true, you-"

"You love her more than I do." They were silent and Rachel finally knew what she had to say.

"If something happens to me-"

"Rachel-"

"If something happens to me ever," she continued, ignoring his pleading eyes.

"I want you to take care of Emma. Not Ross. Not my mother. Not even Mon and Chandler. I want you to take care of her."

"Rachel-"

"Joey, please," she begged. Joey nodded hesitatingly, pulling her tightly against him, letting her cry on his shoulder. He didn't know what to do now. He didn't know where to go. He didn't know how she would be after this.

The next morning

Joey walked down the hall, talking to his mother on his cell phone, motioning with his hand as he turned the corner at the top of the stairs.

"No mom, they said I wasn't right for the part... No they-"he stopped in his tracks when he saw a crowd of people outside his apartment. Policemen, firemen, people who lived in the building. He pushed past them, hanging up on his mom and putting the phone in his back pocket.

"Excuse me, I live here," he said as he squeezed past them. He walked into the apartment and saw Monica standing in the kitchen, her hands covering her face, sobbing as Chandler held her against him, his eyes red and teary as he nodded to a police officer who stood before him talked, saying things Joey was too far away to hear. He hurried over to Chandler and put his hand on his shoulder, looking around the apartment at the policemen going in and out of Rachel's room, shaking their heads.

"What's going on Chan?" Chandler slowly turned to him and his mouth opened silently, beginning to cry. Monica looked up at Joey, tears streaming down her face. The policeman pulled off his hat and held it at his side and waited for Joey to turn to him.

"Mr. Tribianni?"

"Yeah, that's me, what the hell is going on?" Joey questioned, panicked. Where was Rachel?

"I'm sorry to tell you... Miss. Green was found in this apartment after a suicide attempt." Joey let out a sob and looked to Monica who reached out to him.

"Joe... Rachel's dead."