(Back again!!! Thanks for the reviews guys!!! Here's the next chapter in the story... This is a bit of a graphic chapter so it's still PG-13 for a rating but it's just a warning. It's sad too, but this whole story is. Please keep reviewing so I know what you think!!! Thanks again!!! En-Joey!!!)

"Joe... Rachel's dead." And then his world collapsed around him. He instantly pictured Rachel sitting in his chair when he had gotten home yesterday; the smile she gave that brightened his day. He looked around the apartment and saw yellow police tape across her bedroom door. He closed his eyes and stepped backwards, leaning against the wall for support.

"Oh God," he choked out, holding a hand over his mouth, tears forming in his eyes. Monica went over to him and wrapped her arms around him, crying into his shirt. Joey couldn't move, he just stood there, taking it all in. Chandler talked to the police officer, nodding, and every now and then glancing at his best friend and his wife sadly. Joey listened as the police officer spoke quietly, listening to what had happened over Monica's cries. His arms enveloped her and he held onto her tightly, his mouth opening slightly as a tear ran down his cheek.

Someone had heard a lot of commotion upstairs and had called the police. When they got there, they had heard a baby crying and knocked down the door calling a few times, causing Chandler and Monica to come into the hall to see what was going on.

Joey glanced at the doorway where the crowd had grown and saw the broken hinges hanging on the wall. He looked down at Monica and rested his chin on the top of her head, gently rocking her back and forth.

They had found Emma in her crib in the living room, hysterically crying for someone to get her, and seconds later found Rachel in her room, the kitchen knife plunged deep into her chest.

Joey closed his eyes, burying his head in Monica's hair and Chandler let out a gasp, clamping his shaking hands on the counter behind him.

She was barely alive when they found her and died soon after they arrived. The officer apologized again to Chandler, saying they did everything they could do but with a suicide attempt this severe, not many survived. He asked him if there were any signs of this in Rachel and Chandler, still in shock, could only shake his head. Joey looked up, his face pale and eyes wide as he remembered the day before, the talk they had, the breakdown she had suffered, and everything about Emma. He pulled back from Monica, bending down to look at her.

"Where's Emma?" She sniffled, pointing to his bedroom. Joey still held tight to Monica but walked her towards Chandler and she instantly switched, letting go of him and clutching Chandler, who let go of the countertop and hugged her tightly to him. Joey walked to his bedroom slowly, nervously looking toward her bedroom. There were a few men in there in uniforms cleaning up, carrying things out in plastic bags, a few of Emma's toys, some clothes. He paused and watched and they carried out her pillow that Monica had given her as a Christmas present one year, her name stitched in purple cursive across the front. In the man's hands now, it was splattered with blood and Joey shuddered, pinching the bridge of his nose and taking a deep breath before going to his room. He quietly knocked on the partially open door and slowly pushed it open, stepping inside.

His heart broke at the sight before him. Phoebe sat on his bed, her eyes red and wide with fear, clutching a sleeping Emma on her lap. She didn't even see Joey walk in.

"Pheebs," he whispered and she looked up, pulling the baby closer to her, protectively. He went to her side, sitting next to her, touching her hand. She began to cry, trying to say something but it only came out hiccupped sobs. Joey didn't know how much more he could take of this.

"Oh, Joey," she sniffled, rocking back and forth, running a hand over Emma's head delicately. He looked at the sleeping baby and remembered what Rachel had said the day before.

"If something happens to me ever...I want you to take care of Emma. Not Ross. Not my mother. Not even Mon and Chandler. I want you to take care of her."

"How'd this happen to her? I thought she was okay," Pheobe sighed, wiping her eyes. Joey looked at her and knew he should have told someone about what Rachel was doing. She made him promise not to but he knew he should have at the time. And now... Now he felt responsible. He could have gotten her help. She would have been better. He reached over and carefully picked Emma up out of Phoebe's lap and held her against his chest, feeling her heart beat against him, listening to her steady breathing as she slept. She was safe in his arms and it was all he could hold onto now. It was all of her he had left.

Chandler peered into the room and sadly smiled to the two, going in and standing in front of them. Joey felt his eyes were puffy from the tears he held back.

"Joe?"

"Yeah?" he asked, looking up.

"Officer Douglass wanted to talk with you." He must have been the one Chandler and Monica were talking to when he came in.

"Okay."

"Uhm... Joe? It's... they found a letter."

"What kind of letter?" Joey asked, handing Emma to Phoebe who gladly took her into her arms, kissing the top of her head. Chandler took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair.

"They found a suicide letter... To you." Joey froze, looking at his best friend who sadly nodded. Joey left the room, looking over his shoulder at Phoebe and Emma, with Chandler following close behind. Monica was waiting in the kitchen with Officer Douglass, watching the two approach. She went into Chandler's waiting arms, hiding her face in his shirt. Chandler patted Joey on the back as he walked by.

"Mr. Tribianni... We found this envelope in Miss. Green's room. We didn't open it because we figured since it's made out to you, you would be the first to read it. I know it's a lot to deal with but... here." He held out the crisp envelope and Joey took it, taking a deep breath before looking down. He instantly recognized Rachel's neat handwriting, his name across the front of it. He looked at his friends before opening the flap and pulling out the letter, unfolding it and getting the strength to read it.

Joey,

If you're reading this, I don't know what to say to you other than the fact that I'm sorry. I was messed up Joe, I was lost and hurt and sad and everything else that made my life a living hell. I'm sorry that I feel I need to do this and I'm even more sorry that I've hurt you guys in the process. Joey, I need you to realize that this is the only way this can end my suffering and I can't imagine the pain it will cause in your life. Don't take it personally in any way, this was all my doing. I love you Joey, I love you so much that I can't live in your apartment, seeing how much it hurts you to see me this way. You'll take good care of Emma. I made sure she is in your custody now, you are the sole guardian of Emma. Please tell everyone I love them and I'm so sorry that I did this to everyone. I love you. - Rach

Please tell everyone how much I love them. Tell Monica she's my best friend for life. She's going to make a great mother one day. I wish her the best of luck and I'll always love her. Tell Phoebe to keep smiling, keep singing, and keep being herself. She's going to be the strength everyone needs. Tell her I think she's going to marry Mike and have a girl who she'll name Rebecca. Tell Chandler I love him, he makes me laugh even though I don't always understand his jokes. He's going to make the best father any child could have and he's a wonderful person. Tell Ross I'm so sorry for everything we've been through, everything we've done, lost, loved, said, saved. He'll remember our best times together and he'll have to understand that you are now sole guardian of Emma. If he puts up any fight, show him this letter and tell him I want it this way because I never wanted to intrude in his life in any way. Tell my family I love them. And finally, tell Emma I'll always be with her, watching over her, and tell her all about me when she asks. I love her, I was just mixed up and couldn't get better. Joey, please tell her I never didn't want her, I always loved her and I'm going to miss her. I regret not being able to see her grow up and become a wonderful young woman.

I love you all.

Joey looked up, through tear filled eyes, and saw Chandler and Monica watching him sadly. He looked at the letter again and couldn't believe this was really happening. Monica let go of her husband so he could console his friend. Joey watched as he walked up to him and hugged him tightly, patting his back. Joey cried openly into his best friend's shoulder, sobbing so hard his body shook. She was really gone.