I don't mind
I don't mind if you forget me
Having learned my lesson
I never left an impression on anyone
The pressure to change, to move on
Was strange
And very strong
So this is why I tell you
I really do understand

Morrissey, I Don't Mind If You Forget Me

These Strange Conditions

2: Hidden Behind These Walls

ESCAPING FROM THE DARK CORNERS OF HER MIND, Brook awoke to James' face peering down at her. Her head was pounding and she felt as if someone had dumped a ton of bricks on top of her. The warning bells in her mind were screaming. She began to rack her hazy memory for an answer to what happened. Her mind seemed to intent on refusing to acknowledge whatever happened to her.

"Jamie?" She moaned, forcing her eyes to open wider. "What happened?"

James' dark blue eyes held her gaze still, as if he were searching for the exact answer hidden within her. She hated when he looked at her like that. She had always been good at hiding things from other people, learning at a young age how to adapt to any situation that she was forced him. The walls she had built around herself took years to perfect and ever since Sarah had come into her life she had let them weakened. She sighed. The look in James' eyes and the mere intensity, she knew something had happened.

"Jamie," she began, only to be cut off.

"The little one's fine. You fainted," his response was short and curt. "Who is he?"

Her eyes widened. He? Suddenly, everything came back into perspective. Lucas. Lucas was here in London, in the same area. The very same Lucas that she had spent years trying to bury and forget with such a fierce desperation. Lucas, the only person she had ever given her heart.

"Who is he, Brooke?"

She struggled to sit up, fighting the dizzy spell that threatening to overpower her. Her heart was violently beating against her chest and she pleaded with herself not to turn into a quivering mess.

"Lucas Scott," she answered quietly, her voice echoed softly in the quiet room.

She turned away from James, wrapping her arms around herself as a protective reassurance to herself. She could feel his eyes burning holes into her back. She tried to find words to plead for James to leave her alone for a few minutes, so that she could prepare herself for what— Lucas, she corrected herself. She prayed that she could— would find some way to rationally approach this situation.

"Lucas Scott," James repeated. "Lucas Scott. Is he the one?"

"James," she warned, half-pleading. Why was this happening now?

"I thought we were friends," he continued, invading her space on the bed and forcing her to turn and look at him. "I thought that we told each other everything, good and bad. But you're hiding from me, Brooke. From me! I don't give a bloody fuck about what or who is downstairs. I want to know what's going on!"

Her lips trembled and she lowered her gaze. "You don't understand, Jamie."

"I don't think you get it, Brooke. There's a group of people who are so obviously a part of your past, the very same past that you've been running away from the past ten years. And I can't help you, if you don't talk to me."

A shaky sigh escaped her lips as she buried her face in her hands. Sarah's downstairs with Lucas. The thought loomed over her like a bad omen. Sarah's downstairs with Lucas and I'm sitting up here worrying about myself. But that was what Lucas did to her, she reminded herself. There was something about him that sent her into a state of unraveling. She could never control herself emotionally and it scared her to pieces.

"Who is he, Brooke?" James' voice was soft and pleading. His arm wrapped around her shoulders and pulled her into an embrace.

Brooke inhaled slowly. "Lucas is Sarah's father," she replied quietly. "You know the story, Jamie. I was young and stupid and so— so lost. Sarah was the best thing that ever happened to me..."

She closed her eyes, losing herself to the slow, soothing circles he was rubbing into her back. She continued. "Lucas was the love of my life. The one person who saw past all the walls I threw around myself. He was my escape and then closed the door on me. He didn't just break my heart. He ripped it out and threw it away."

"He was your first love."

She looked up in James' eyes, guarding herself carefully. She didn't like what she was seeing. "He was my only love."

"Does he know about Sarah?"

She sighed, pulling away. "I told him," she replied, swallowing uneasily. "It was the worst day of my life. I don't think he believed me and I— I didn't want to stick around for him to find out. I was scared Jamie. We had a fallout... weeks before and I didn't want to come off vindictive, but I had to tell him. I had to tell him..."

James stood up and kneeled before her, cradling her face in his large hands. A ghost of a smile made its way onto her lips. Dependable James. Her first real friend. Her family.

"I want to help you," he whispered.

Her smile was sad. "No Jamie," she murmured, brushing a strand of dark hair. Lucas was downstairs. "This is something that I need to take care of. However, it doesn't mean that I don't need you as my friend."

James' eyes darkened into a stormy blue and she found herself wondering if all of this was truly meant to happen to her. Was this some curse that came with falling in love with the wrong person?

"All right," James responded quietly. "But promise me you'll talk to me if you need anything."

Her eyes wandered to the closed door and her thoughts lingered on what lied behind it. Change, she mused. Change was supposed to be a good thing. But what lied behind that door was a storm... a storm she was nowhere near ready for.

"I will," she found herself whispering. "I will."

The problem was that her walls were now only made of straw.

TBC

A/N: My god. I opened my email and there were all these reviews... shakes head I was completely overwhelmed— But thank you guys! I can't express how much it means to me that you like this story. I apologize for the slow updating this week. I've got two stupid English papers due this week and a meeting that I've anxious to just get over with. I've just exhausted really and so excited about the season premiere tonight.

Next time: Lucas and Brooke come face to face after ten years.

Some Reviewer Responses:

Kat: grins Plot bunnies make math class go faster, I suppose. But I'm glad you're enjoying the story. Jamie? The nature of Jamie and Brooke's relationship will be revealed in due time. It's going to be a fun little love triangle...

bibleboymary4ever: In all honesty, I hate to admit it but I do like this story a lot better. I have a lot more freedom to play with characters and their emotional responses to things. Ah. Brooke's OOCness. Well, I think she's a bit OOC in The Makings of a Resolution— and within reason. Brooke's fun-loving nature hasn't be displayed yet because of the situations I've placed her in. I think in regards to circumstance she's going to react differently than what we might expect her too. Her masks seemed to place very well and think the nature that she displays on the show is more of a defense-mechanism. sighs Ranting now. Sorry. Anyhow, I'm very happy you reviewed.

Lana: The blue eyes were for you. grins And I've a bit partial to the dark-haired, blue-eyed boys myself. I like James and I completely agree with you about Lucas. He needs to be smacked. I will tell you this. There will be a James/Brooke/Lucas triangle. Should be good, clean fun. whistles innocently