(I'm baaaaaaaaaack!!! Oh I know how you've missed me. All the sadness and heartache... Yeah, I'll stop while I'm ahead. So it's taken a while, with college starting and all ï I'm in college!!! How weird!!! Anywho, here's chapter 4. Same rules apply, same disclaimer, same obsession. I'm a HUGE Joey Rachel fan and I love their friendship. I'm also amazed no one asked me about where Ross was last chapter. BTW- The song is by Bon Jovi called, interestingly enough, "Always." All right? En-Joey!!!
Oh – As another note, -and this has been fixed as pointed out- this is set in the beginning of season 10. Monica and Chandler are planning on adopting, Mike never proposed, and Ross is the only 'Friend' who went to Barbados. So that's where Ross was for the last chapter because this part of the story happened right after Barbados. Also, Emma is not one yet so anything that happened on her birthday aka first word never happened. Also as a quick note to a review I got, Rachel did go back to work and it said earlier she was fired from her job. So that's where she was... Set!)
The funeral was held on a dreary Monday afternoon, cool and grey with enough drizzling rain to require umbrellas. Joey was glad the day was as miserable as everyone felt. He glanced out the window from inside his apartment and sadly dressed Emma in the new dark purple dress he had bought for her, watching as she happily pulled at the bow that tied across her waist, completely unaware that her life had forever changed. From in his bedroom he could hear a knock on his door.
"Come in!" The door opened and Monica snuck inside, quietly closing the door behind her. She had a simple black dress on, her mascara already smudged from crying. She walked to his doorway and smiled, wiping her eyes, as Joey picked Emma up, straightened her dress, and handed her to Monica.
"I'll watch her as you get ready."
"Thanks," Joey said as he kissed the side of her head and went back into his room to get changed into his suit. Monica took Emma to the couch, sitting cross-legged and putting her on her lap, holding her tightly in her arms. Joey listened through his closed door, hearing her softly singing to Emma, singing in an almost whisper.
"And I will love you, baby, always. And I'll be there forever and a day, always. I'll be there till the stars don't shine. Till the heavens burst and the words don't rhyme. And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind. And I'll love you, always." Emma looked up at her aunt and grinned, Monica smiling and kissing the top of her head.
Rachel's bedroom door was closed, even though the room was empty. Anything that had meaning were already taken by the person it meant to most to. Photos were split up, one of her and Joey at her thirtieth birthday party was framed and on the kitchen counter. Emma's toys were moved out of her room and in the living room. The girl clock she took from Mr.Heckle's apartment now was displayed proudly in Monica's. Rachel's apron when she worked at Central Perk went to Gunther, who always left it hung on the coat rack when anyone entered. She still had her wedding dress and her mother took it, leaving it in her house safely so one day, hopefully, Emma could wear it. Everything else was thrown away or donated. Joey had stood alone in the apartment with Emma, watching as Rachel's stuff was taken out by men and into a dumpster. He watched as a few of her dresses were carried out and he stopped them.
"Uhm... no those are staying." The red dress she wore to the Soapie awards with him, the green one when Ross had gotten so angry with her because she wasn't going to be ready for his paleontology ball and she had gotten ready just in time. Her bridesmaid dress from Monica's wedding when she found out she was going to have Emma. The dress she wore to the gala with him and Phoebe and he thought he guessed correctly on the boat. The dress at the wedding reception when they found out Chandler had taken off. It was too much. She had kept them all this time. He just couldn't bare to see those dresses be trashed. So he put them in his closet, hung neatly, all her dresses from important events. Everything else could go. He couldn't look at her other stuff the same.
He straightened his tie and looked at his watch, pulling on his jacket and leaving his room, a smile crossing his face when he saw Emma watching him with wide eyes and a huge grin.
"There's Uncle Joey!" Monica said, resting her chin gently on the top of Emma's head.
"Hi Emma!" He crouched down in front of her and she giggled, saying incoherent words to just make noise and Monica bit her bottom lip trying not to burst out laughing. Joey pressed his lips together and humored Emma, nodding his head as she babbled on.
"Is that so?"
"Gebbbbb... gllllleb... ehhh... sssssoooohhhh..... eeeeggggblah."
"Wow, really?!" Emma smiled, proud of herself, and Joey ruffled her hair with a laugh.
"Oh I'm so glad you're here kid. Someone needed to lighten the mood."
"I think she misses her mommy, she was looking around when you went to go get changed," Monica frowned sadly, kissing the top of her head. Emma looked up at Joey.
"Mmmm... ma... mama." Joey's eyes widened and Monica gasped, leaning down to look at Emma.
"Oh my God, did you just hear that?"
"Uh... I think so." The door opened and Chandler walked in, stopping short when he saw them both staring at the baby.
"What's going on?" he asked, closing the door behind him.
"Mama," Emma smiled, looking up at Monica then at Joey, kicking her feet.
"Oh my God." Chandler walked up beside Joey and looked at him, his mouth hanging open.
"Oh, honey," Monica frowned, tears filling her eyes. Joey folded his arms over his chest and Chandler looked at his friend before glancing at his wife.
"Well at least it wasn't you know... uhm... Gunther," he laughed loudly then quickly quieted, shuffling his feet before walking over to the couch and sitting down next to Monica.
"Mama," Emma said louder, looking around.
"Emma, sweetie... Mommy's not here," Joey said softly, going up to her and scooping her into his arms. She blinked a few times before her lower lip quivered a few times. It broke his heart to hear her first word be the one person who wouldn't be there to hear it. Her mama.
"I'm sorry, sweetie," he whispered and Emma broke into a loud wail, struggling to get out of his grip on her. He looked at Chandler and Monica who watched with distraught faces, and found himself starting to laugh.
"Figures, huh? Worst day of my life and it just keeps on getting worse," Joey shook his head, moving Emma to rest on his hip and found her pacifier, handing it to her and she immediately put it in her mouth, tears still rimming her eyes.
"You know, you didn't... it's not your fault Joe," Chandler said finally, leaning his head on Monica's shoulder. Joey shrugged, looking down at his feet, kicking his show against the floor.
"Well I didn't fix anything..."
The crowd was thinning at the cemetery, people leaving; clutching their umbrellas over their heads, softly expressing their apologies to the group of five huddled together. Ross was the one who spoke for them, having come to the funeral twenty minutes late, nodding when they said how sorry they were, and what a good person Rachel was. He agreed and thanked them. Joey held tightly to a sleeping Emma, cradled against his chest, and looked at Ross. He didn't care what happened to her, he didn't have the decency to show up at the wake. To everyone else he was heartbroken, saying how much he loved her and never expected this, and how now all he had left was Emma. Joey looked down at the baby and sighed, Chandler patting his back. Monica and Phoebe had their arms around each other for support, Phoebe holding an umbrella, sadly looking at the flower covered casket.
Joey looked down at the bouquet of white lilies he held in his hand and felt Emma starting to stir; she had slept through all of the ceremony. He handed her to Chandler and slowly walked to the casket, looking down at the flowers before crouching down in front of it, picking at a petal.
"You know, I don't know why you did this... And I don't think you knew just how hard it was going to be on us... on me," he said softly, unaware Ross was watching him closely. Joey ran a hand through his hair and bit is bottom lip, touching one finger to the casket.
"But I promise... I will take care of her," he said, his voice cracking as tears filled his eyes. Chandler watched him and took a deep breath, kissing the top of Emma's head as she played with the button on his jacket.
"Okay, Rach? I'll do everything I can to make sure she's happy... and healthy... and taken care of, but I can't... I can't be you. You're her mother... I just wish you had realized that before... And I'm sorry you did it," he choked out, hiccupping with sobs, placing the flowers on the top of her casket. Phoebe wiped her eyes, approaching Joey carefully.
"I'm so sorry that I couldn't help you... I tried, I really did... I miss you Rach, no one's ever been as good to me as you have... I love you, please... please know that. All right?... We all do and we all miss you... I just.... I wish this wasn't so hard... Telling you goodbye." He brought his fingers to his mouth then touched the casket before standing up slowly, holding his hands over his face. Phoebe wrapped her arms around him and he collapsed against her, sobbing and she hugged him close, kissing the side of his head.
"I know."
"This can't be it Pheebs... This can't be goodbye." Phoebe looked at Ross and remembered the night they had fought, when Rachel had found out when he cheated on her.
"Then how come it is." Ross looked at his daughter and back at Joey before walking away.
