Author's Note: Sorry to take so long to update but I really have no excuse. And that's my excuse. That and my Ouji board was acting up and Boromir was a little hard to reach. LOL! :) Thanks for the feedback and the reviews. Keep it coming!

Balrog Pimp xxx

Day 7:

Hum dee...bored shiteless... Wish I had gone with Éomer. Much regret...

Later:

Leggy had a little bow, little bow, little bow!

Leggy had a little bow it's wood was...

It's wood was...

Crap. What rhymes with bow. Toe, low, foe, know, sow, foe hmmm

Leggy had a little bow it would kill any foe?

God that sucks. You are no bard, Boromir.

Day 8:

Stuff actually happened today! Aragorn and co. arrived at Edoras. Was disappointed to hear that Éomer was still banished. King Theoden in MASSIVE need of a makeover. Gandalf seems to have some hidden talent in that department though and gave him a whole new look. I approve. Before he looked something that even a Warg would have turned it's nose up at.

Obviously, Saruman has no idea of what looks good at all and had made him look uggers in the first place. Some weird kind of exorcism went on and I have expected Gandalf to whip out the Ouji board. Heh, wish he had though because I could have had some serious fun mucking around with that!

–Mischievous grin-

Pretty blond girl, Éowyn, was there. Last time I saw her she was just a little wipper-snapper. Doesn't totally take after her bro in the looks department though. She's pretty enough but Éomer's just damn hot!!! I soo should have gone with him! She seems to really fancy Aragorn anyway. Aw, poor girl's gonna get her heart broken. Maybe I shouldn't have pinched her on the ass then and made her think Aragorn was leading her on. –Childish titter. –

Made an appearance to Faramir just now. He was sleeping at Henneth Annun, and with some careful manipulation I managed to get him to sleep walk to the River Anduin (he's always been very open to the paranormal and stuff like that so this worked to my advantage). There he saw, or thought he saw me floating down the River in my little boat. I couldn't resist giving him a little dunk into the water though as the boat floated past. Okay, so that was a little mean, but hey! He's my little brother! I had to make it more believable that it was actually me going by in the river and not some evil ploy by the Enemy. That dunk will make him sure it was me! So a very fun and interesting time for me, and a literal 'wet dream' for Faramir!

Day 9:

Funeral of Theodred. That was great fun. We hung out and watched the proceedings together for a bit and laughed at the crap singing cause everyone was crying. He's such a bastard. I told him I got a funeral song too when I died. He told me that mine probably really sucked. I told him to shove it up his arse. He's a real great guy, but such a bastard.

Things got a bit sombre though when King Theoden and Gandalf had a moment together and Theodred went to go comfort his father. Felt very out of place and so left. Wound up the very entertaining day however with the Gollum/Smeagol comedy hour!

Smeagol: Master's my friend!

Gollum: You don't have any friends! Nobody likes you!

-Rolls around in mid-air in fits of laughter-

Bloody psycho! Hahhahahahahaha!

Day 10:

Some kids arrived at Edoras last night. Dunledings were invading the western folds of Rohan and being pyromaniacs. I'd be up for a bit of that if I weren't so painfully aware where my loyalties lie. Éomer doing all right though. Checked up on him briefly. He was riding his horse, bouncing seductively up and down in his saddle. He was always flirtatious that one. –sighs-

The Rohirrim are making for the fortress of Helm's Deep. Éowyn must definitely have some major PMS. She just about nicked Aragorn's head off just before they left. I think it kinda turned him on though. Kinky bastard. Éomer would kill him if he knew. Now that would be funny!

Frodo and Sam and Comedic Psychopath entered Ithillien today. I think Gollum has rabies. He was foaming at the mouth and growling when he caught two rabbits for Frodo. Sick! Had a fun game of

'I Spy' today. I spy with my little eye something beginning with F and I and R. Faramir and his Ithillien Rangers. I saw all of them. I can't believe the Haradrim missed them, they were so bloody obvious even without all their ludicrous bird-calling. I guess I do have an advantage though, having expected to see them round and being able to have a bird's eye view of he entire area. And Faramir's gotta lay off on the cologne! Miracle the Mumaks didn't sniff him out!

Attack successful however and there was some serious ass-kicking going on down there. Little bro is so brave! Goooo Farry! –does strange cheerleading dance- Extra points also for sneaking up on the hobbits and taking them into custody too! Kinda surprising though, I had never really expected Faramir to actually 'mug 'em' as were my concerns previously. But he must have grown some balls since I left. Am VERY impressed. Gondor will have the Ring any day now.

Day 11:

Gimli riding a horse. Whatever. I think he was trying to chat up Éowyn, making an excuse that there were very few Dwarf women. Okay, granted there may be few Dwarf women, but that's no excuse for really lame pick-up lines. He didn't do it for her though, she's still all over Aragorn.

Speaking of Aragorn, he looked exceptionally handsome today. Maybe it was because he was smiling for once, or maybe it was because he took an opportunity to wash during his stay at Edoras. In any case, if I were in Éowyn's position, I would be falling all over him as well.

Later:

Aragorn is very much still in love with the Lady Arwen. Somehow she came to him in his sleep, (which I found incredible because I thought only dead people could do that), and they had a very intimate and poignant moment together. –sniffs- Curse it, here I go again. They made me bloody cry it was so cute. Let it not be said that Boromir of Gondor was not a true romantic at heart!

God, their love story should be made into a movie... -tear-

Day 12:

Interrupted a private telepathic phone call today between Galadriel and Elrond. Galadriel was telling Elrond that 'Frodo was doomed' or something and that the fate of Middle-Earth now rested in Faramir's strength of will. She picked up that I was listening in however when I started to breath heavily to freak her out. She told me to piss off (I was shocked I can tell you!) and I told her that I would listen in on anything that concerned my little brother. She said that my concern for my brother was noble but my immaturity of trying to prank her was really lame and that I should 'get a life.' I told her that for an Elven Queen she had picked a really bad choice of words. She hung up on me. Stupid bitch... 'get a life'... real funny...

Day 13:

Warg attack. Am quite impressed about Legolas' circus skills a top a horse. Big WOW. Éowyn had another shit because Theoden refused to let her fight. I think some fighting would be good for her. Get her out of all her moods. Aragorn tried some stunts of his own atop a Warg (I think he was trying to outdo Legolas) but it didn't work because both he and the Warg ended up on the wrong side of a cliff. Legolas, Gimli and the others were sad. I wasn't. I was relieved that he was going to have another wash in that river he fell into.

Faramir was thinking about me tonight. He told the hobbits he was my brother and that I had met my end. Then he went and had a cry. I feel stink. If I had been there I would have told him to toughen up; but then again, if I had been there he wouldn't have been crying in the first place. I gave him a big hug and sang him our 'Rainbow song' that we used to sing as kids whenever we saw them. Then something really strange happened. He just happened to look up in the direction of the waterfall entrance, and it was that time of the day when the sunset would catch the waterfall and all these rainbows would appear. It was almost as if he heard me because he started to sing:

"Red and yellow and pink and green

Purple and orange and blue

I can sing a rainbow, sing a rainbow, sing a rainbow too...'

He is a much better singer than I am.

Shite, I need to find a tissue. –sobs-

TBC...at some stage... lol