Hey, I'm back! I barely escaped those hurricanes, but I'm back in one piece. New chapter is finally finished, don't yell at me if it sucks. OOCness galore, and even one of those touching moments that make you go "Aww..." Hope ya'll like it, and I'll be working on the next chapter. Please read and review!
Knives' Angel
Disclaimer: I havent become a high ranking enough rich bitch to buy Trigun yet...so its not mine.
Warning:Yaoi, OOCness, and everything else you already know about
Chapter 7- Perfect Fit
The rare sound of raindrops stirred me from my sleep, making a plinking noise as they streamed off the roof. Pulling myself out of bed, I headed towards the living room.
As I walked past Legato's door I found it open and him nowhere inside. I assumed that the rainstorm had awoken him as well and continued on. When I stepped into the living room, I couldn't help but smile to myself. Through the glass sliding doors I could see Legato sitting on the porch, soaking up the rain.
"What are you doing?" I asked as I slid the door aside, though not stepping out into the wet. He looked up at me and gave a bit of an innocent smile.
"Nothing really, I just like the rain. It's been awhile since I've felt it last, that's all." He said as he stared up at the gray sky. I couldn't help but watch as the raindrops slid down his face, tracing his flawless jaw line and dripping down his slender neck.
"It doesn't burn, you know." He laughed as noticed my hesitance to set foot on the damp porch.
It had been about two weeks since he had been revived, and every day he seemed to become more open with his thoughts and speech, due also to a great deal of coaxing on my part.
"Do you know what time it is?" I questioned as I took a tentative step outside. He looked up at me long enough to shake his head in a negative response before turning his sights back to the sky. Gazing upward in the same direction, the shadow of a memory crept into my head. For a second I saw ships instead of rain falling from the sky, the entire sky streaked red as they burned up in the atmosphere and their remnants came crashing to the surface.
More flashes now, my eyes opening to the scene taking place, the sudden cold realization of the reality of what I had just done. Fear. Anger. Sadness. The sky red like blood. Invisible blood staining my hands, staining every part of my body and my conscience. No more going back, not now. We're in this together, dear brother. Don't look at me like that! You say the words I dread to hear, but I know you will say them. I knew you felt this way long before you lay in front of me and said it, tears flowing from your eyes...I knew you hated me.
The vision and the memories dissolved, leaving me cold and damp in the late night shower. The rain was just rain again, the sky a dark grayish purple as it should be. I looked down at my hands and watched the water dance across them, dripping down and snaking between my fingers like fresh spilled blood.
"The nice thing about rain is that it washes away everything that soiled the ground before it. The rain makes you feel pure and clean again, even if for a short time." Legato mused without looking in my direction.
"It just makes me feel dirty." I said morosely, wrapping my arms around my shoulders. I was partially glad for the rain at this point, it made it impossible to see my tears.
"You're so hard on yourself, but you would never let anyone else know that. If I may say so, nobody could possibly hate you as much as you hate yourself." He said in an almost motherly tone, so far removed from the usual deadpan voice he used with everyone else.
"I don't think he hates you, anyway. He hates himself, just like you hate yourself. You both have different ways of hiding it, but...I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything." He finished in a submissive and shamed voice.
"No, go on. It's alright; I want to hear what you're going to say." I said almost unconsciously. It hadn't occurred to me before, but this was the first time I really cared about someone else's opinion besides my own.
"It's not right how you constantly put yourself down subliminally. You don't do it purposely, because that would go against what you believe in. After all, if you're superior to all else then why hate yourself to begin with? Instead of being angry with yourself however, you turn that anger onto everyone around you. It makes you very unhappy, I think. "He streamed out humbly, ever aware of my body language and subtle mental messages. I thought the whole thing over carefully in my head, analyzing the previous statement. Was he right?
I looked at him now, his slight figure nearly touching my own. His eyes avoided my gaze, a sign of deference. I gently took his chin in my one hand, lifting it up so he was at sight level with me.
"You don't need to look away anymore. There's nothing before you that is magnificent to behold." I whispered quietly, a hint of a sad smile spreading on my lips. His golden stare met my own, only kindness exuding from those usually indifferent orbs. Almost magnetically he reached out for me, hands resting upon my shoulders tenderly. Impulsively I wrapped my arms about him in an embrace, assuming an almost protective stance. Running my fingers through his damp cerulean locks, I cradled his head just below mine, his cheek resting comfortably against my own.
It was like everything fit together, like a perfect puzzle. This all felt so natural to me, so right. The missing pieces rested in their rightful places now, like Legato rested so flawlessly within my arms. Alone these pieces meant nothing, but united they formed something truly striking, something worthy of the name perfection.
This sense of belonging was so new to me, this glimpse of the elusive thing called happiness. Was this all it really took? Could it be that the Eden I so desperately strived for was right here in my arms? No grass, no trees, no breathless scenery, just me and him as one on a rainy night in the desert. After so long a time searching, was this what I had been looking for all along?
"Why do you feel so bad?" Legato asked after a long silence. I looked down at him, trying to form an answer. Would it even make any sense if I could find the words I was searching for?
"I...just start to think about things sometimes, and it starts to eat away at me. It's like, I don't know...like I'm being eaten alive from the inside. It can be so easy not to consider the consequences of your actions, until it's too late. I just things have been different?" I struggled for the words, hoping they somehow came together to make sense. I wanted him to understand something that I didn't understand myself.
"It's hard to say sometimes. I don't remember regretting very many things I've done, but then again you've lived more than five times as long as I have. I suppose that gives you a lot more time to think about things, since time doesn't really affect you."
"If only you were right. No one can escape time, especially not me. It's like a prison within your own mind, with nothing to do but pick apart every second of your own existence. If anything, Time is a human's most precious gift. It destroys them before they can destroy themselves, before their mind turns cold. They don't live long enough to realize that their entire life is meaningless."
"You think your life is meaningless?"
"Maybe, I couldn't tell you. All I can do is remember the things I've done, and try to figure out what drove me to them."
"It doesn't matter in the end. What's done is done, isn't it? If you can't leave it all behind, then you live your life in the past and never see the future."
At this moment he reminded me of everything I hated, all the morals of that useless woman who Vash so adored. But maybe that was why I loved him, because he was so different yet...the same as me. It was more than a little amusing to hear him spouting such idealistic terms, but perhaps that was really what we needed: a little optimism in our lives.
"The ticket to the future is blank, right?" I mumbled softly to myself, looking to the sky once more. Legato laughed a little bit as he cuddled closer to me, resting his head in the curve of my neck.
"You're starting to scare me." he informed me with a smile. Tightening my grip on him, I kissed the top of his head.
"Must be the rain." I replied distantly, a smile creeping onto my face.
Well, that's it for now. I've got a bunch of college crap to take care of soon, so I might be a little slow. But you know...reviews always help me work faster!
