Disclaimer: I am quite fond of the Harry Potter characters, but they, along with the Mines of Moria, December 12, 1865, and Ares, God of War, do not belong to me.
Author's Note: Tomorrow is school (bites fingernails and pulls out teeth in fright) I am not all that excited, I must say. Oh well. Thanks again for all the reviews! For all of your information, it was asked in a review how many times I've seen the movie, and I am afraid the number is beyond even my comprehension. It shouldn't be legal how many times I've seen the movie. Anyway, I figured, since I know every single word of the movie, I might as well make use of it. Also, the traveler is Cho. Thanks for all who guessed.
V.
In Which There Is An Unexpected Tour of Hill House
The fireplace in which Professor Plum and Mr. Scarlet had emerged into the lounge slowly closed behind them and Professor Plum shrieked in terror and clutched at Mr. Scarlet frantically. He merely stood, shocked into a numb stupor.
Upstairs and below, the other guests heard their screams. Miss Green, in a panic, unlocked the door to the attic, running past Viktor, who had also been alarmed and ran down to the staircase, Viktor trailing behind her. Also, from the master bedroom, Cambri and Mr. Peacock came running full speed down the hallway. At the flight of stairs, both pairs of worried people colliding at full force and toppling to the ground.
As they stood, slightly dazed, they could hear the door of the cellar being slammed open by a terrified Colonel Mustard. They met at the bottom of the flight of stairs, looking warily at the lounge door, where both Mr. Scarlet and Professor Plum were banging and shouting to release them from the tomb.
Wadsworth, Mr. White, and Colonel Mustard were struggling with the door to the lounge from the outside.
"It's locked," bellowed Colonel Mustard to Mr. White in supreme frustration.
"I know," Mr. White hissed.
"Then unlock it!"
Mr. White turned to Wadsworth, "Where's the key?" he asked her.
She checked in her pockets for a moment before declaring dramatically, "The key's gone," and turned back to the door frantically.
"Never mind about the key," the Colonel smacked Mr. White across the arm, "unlock the door."
"I can't unlock the door without the key!" White shouted, shaking Colonel Mustard back and forth with each word. "Let us in, let us in!" he shouted, shaking the door handle more forcefully.
"Let us out, let us out!" the two shouted from behind it.
"Wait," Mr. Peacock said, stepping into their midst, "Step aside." The company backed up, totally oblivious to whatever silly little scheme he had in his mind. "I'm just going to have to break it down!" He went at the door with a running start, slamming into it with all his weight before staggering backward and collapsing, clutching his arm in pain.
"Wait," Viktor said, retreating into the open study, "I have it."
The pleading continued to come from behind the lounge door and Miss Green stood, playing with her hair, becoming extremely agitated towards the two of them. "Will you shut up," she moaned, "we're doing our best."
Viktor returned from the study, holding the revolver in his hand. He walked a few steps before tripping over the teary-eyed Mr. Peacock, shooting the gun into the air, emitting several surprised screams from his companions.
"They're shooting at us," Mr. Scarlet's voice could be heard matter-of-factly behind the door.
Viktor aimed now at the door and took two shots at the keyhole, successfully unlocking them.
"I've been shot," Mr. Scarlet's voice could faintly be heard.
The door turned and a frazzled Professor came running out, into the arms of whoever was closest to catch her, followed by a fairly bent Mr. Scarlet who was rubbing his upper arm slowly.
"Why were you shooting that thing at us?" he asked, poking Viktor several steps until he was nearly backed into the wall. "You could have killed us. I could have been killed." He took a deep breath and said calmly, "I can't take any more scares."
At that moment the chandelier plummeted from above them, shattering mere inches behind Mr. Scarlet. He wobbled unsteadily before falling into a chair at the wall, clutching his heart and muttering quietly to himself. The group studied him for a moment before having their attention drawn back to the lounge.
"But look," Professor Plum howled, pointing into the lounge. They all ran to investigate, seeing the young woman lying bloody on the carpet.
"Which one of you did it?" Mr. Peacock snarled upon seeing the body.
"We found him," she explained, "together."
"How did you get in?" Miss Green staring fixedly at the body.
"The door was locked!" continued Colonel Mustard.
"There's a secret passageway from the conservatory," she further explained.
Suddenly Mr. White turned the attention once more from the body to Viktor.
"Is that the same gun?" he demanded, grabbing at the gun still poised in Viktor's grasp, "From the cupboard?"
"But it was locked," Wadsworth stammered.
"No," Viktor said, "it was unlocked." He realized the magnitude of what he had just said and gasped in time with the others.
"Unlocked?!"
"But yes," he said, turning, throwing the gun among the remains of chandelier and shouting behind him, "see for yourself!"
"How did you know it was unlocked," Mr. Peacock asked, "How did you know you could get at the gun?"
"I didn't, I think that I would break it open, but it was open already."
"A likely story."
The bell rang, drawing immediate silence from the eight of them.
"Maybe they'll just go away," Professor Plum said quietly, closing her eyes.
They stood an agonizing five seconds before a second ring pealed throughout the house, bringing them all practically to their knees.
"I'm going to open it," said Mr. Peacock, on the brink of a panic attack.
"Why?" they all shrieked.
"I have nothing to hide," he said, "I didn't do it." He strode to Wadsworth, "The key?" She delivered and he made his way out to the hall to the front door.
Mr. Peacock swung the door open, revealing an amiable looking police officer, to which he slammed the door once more.
He opened it presently, much more collected.
"Yes?" he said to the similarly bright-haired individual.
"I found a broken broomstick down near the gates of this house, did the owner come here by any chance?" he asked in a low voice.
"No," seven of the group said insistently.
"Yes," answered Mr. Peacock quietly.
"No!" the other rebuked him quickly.
"There seems to be some disagreement," the officer said, his eyebrow rising ever so slowly.
"No," the others assured him.
"Yes," Mr. Peacock nodded.
"Can I come in and use your floo?" he asked hesitantly.
"Oh," Wadsworth came stepping to the front, "you could, Sir, but this area's been restricted to the use of magic. Too many muggles nearby, you know, so our floo network has been completely shut down. However, you could use the telephone."
"Certainly," the police officer invited himself in, shaking the rain from his long ponytail.
"Well, you could use the one in the stud..." Wadsworth stopped herself as she glanced toward the study, "No, you can't, can you..." she thought for a moment. "You could use the one in the l..." she took a look towards the lounge, "oh, no..." she thought again. "Would you be so kind as to wait in the um... the..." she gestured animatedly behind her, the word on the tip of the tongue, "the library," she finally finished.
"Sure," he answered quietly, his eyes wide at the strange invitation. He made his way down the steps and three guests edged themselves toward the study, another three made their way towards the lounge, blocking the door. "You all seem to be very anxious about something."
"It's the chandelier that just fell down," Wadsworth said, taking his arm, "Nearly killed us." She opened the library door and showed the officer in, "Help yourself to a drink, if you'd like. Not the cognac, just in case."
"Just in case of what?" he shouted after she had already closed and locked the door.
"What now?" Wadsworth whispered, treading slowly towards the group, separated only by the shattered chandelier.
"We should have told him," Peacock said.
"Very well for you to say that now," Miss Green purred.
"I said it then," he raised his voice.
"Oh, shut up!" they all hissed.
"Let's clean this up," Wadsworth went to retrieve a set of brooms to sweep up the glass.
In the library, the police officer deftly looked up at the astonishing number of books. He stalled for moments before turning back to the phone. He placed his hand on it and, just as he was about to pick it up and place his call, it rang.
He slowly picked it up and asked into it, "Hello?"
"..."
"And who may I say is calling?"
"..."
"Would you hold on, please?"
The cop strode across the door, banging on the door loudly. "Let me out!" he shouted, "Let me out of here! You have no right to shut me in. I'll book you for false arrest and wrongful imprisonment and obstructing an officer in the course of his duty..." he thought for a moment, "and murder!"
The door swung open, revealing a group of pale, but pleasant faced individuals.
"What do you mean," Wadsworth asked, broom in hand, "Murder?"
"I just said it so you would open the door."
The group laughed half-heartedly.
"What's going on here?" the police asked, "and why did you lock me in? And why are you receiving phone calls from Amelia Bones?"
"Amelia Bones?" Wadsworth asked, forming each word surely in her mouth.
"That's right, the Minister of Magic."
"Why is Amelia Bones on your phone?" Colonel Mustard stuttered.
"I don't know," Wadsworth said, taking a step into the library, "She's on everybody else's, why shouldn't she be on mine?" She immediately stepped into the library, removing the key from the lock, giving the group an ominous look and closing the door behind her.
"What's going on here?" the officer asked.
"We're having a party," Professor Plum said, sliding next to him and tugging at his collar. The others nodded.
"Mind if I look around?" he asked.
"Sure," she said. She turned to the group, "You can show him around, Miss Green."
"Moi?" she stammered.
"Sure," Professor Plum said, smiling all the more widely, "You can show him the kitchen and the dining room and the ball room."
The others all smiled at her. "Fine," Green said, totally frustrated. She took his arm and tugged him toward the kitchen doors. "Come with me, Officer, I'll show you the kitchen and the dining room and the ball room."
As the Officer and the Veela made their way toward the kitchen, Mr. Scarlet pulled the others to the study, spitting out instructions like mad as they came to his over-sized, but brilliant nonetheless, head.
"So," Miss Green said, putting on the best act she could manage, "this is the dining room."
"No kidding," the officer said.
Miss Green inwardly fumed with anger at the whole situation.
"What's going on in those two rooms?" the officer said, pointing out the door at the study and lounge doors.
"Which two rooms?" Miss Green asked, trying to block the door. He broke through.
"Those two rooms."
"Oh, those two rooms," she tried to think of an excuse but couldn't come up with one. He strode towards the study slowly. "No, wait, officer," she said, pulling up close to him, turning the seduction skills up to the max, "I don't think you should go in there." He seemed utterly unaffected.
"Why not?" he asked, shrugging her off.
"Because..." she reeled in thought for a moment before she realized that the cop had already made it to the door, "because it's all too shocking!"
He flung the door open and switched on the light and Miss Green's jaw dropped in surprise. There was a mellow song playing from the phonograph and all of her friends, alive and dead, were present. However, the officer never seemed to catch on, for on the couch lay a massive Mrs. Body, with Mr. Peacock kissing her lips furiously, lifting her arm to pet his hair. He made little moans every now and then to pull off the act but as Miss Green could tell from his somewhat rigid body, he couldn't have been more disgusted.
Mr. White and Colonel Mustard, however, were having a much easier time with their roles in the scheme. Mr. White had Colonel Mustard pinned against a wall, kissing down her cheek and neck while Colonel Mustard pulled him closer, leaning into his strong body. Between Mr. White's feet, Miss Green could clearly make out the little apron of Minnie the house elf, which she could tell they were trying to cover.
"This isn't really all that shocking," the police officer said in a hushed voice to Miss Green, "These people are just having a good a time."
He turned and left the room, Miss Green, still unable to speak, following him after turning off the light and closing the door on their little love fest.
The cop then made his way across the hall to the lounge door, where they were surprised to find Mr. Scarlet on top of Professor Plum on the couch, legs entwined in each others, lips pressing fervently. In a chair opposite them was a girl's body propped up with a large hat covering her head and face, a whiskey bottle resting in her hand.
"Excuse me," the officer said, announcing his entrance. Mr. Scarlet and Professor Plum sat up quickly, leaning against each other while they stared at the cop, praying he wouldn't inspect the girl too closely. "This girl's drunk," he said, smelling the liquor in her hair and on her clothes. "Dead drunk."
"Dead right," Mr. Scarlet said with a slight chuckle.
"I can't let her drive home like this."
"She won't be driving home officer, I promise you that," Mr. Scarlet said, the chuckle intensifying in his voice.
"One of you will give him a lift?"
"Oh," Professor Plum said, stifling her laughter along with Mr. Scarlet, "we'll get him a car."
"A long black car," Mr. Scarlet said, turning straight to Plum and laughing at himself.
"A limousine," she compensated, giggling, pulling Mr. Scarlet down on to her again to excuse the officer from the room.
The pair of them met Wadsworth in the middle of the Hall.
"You're too late," the officer said, patting Wadsworth on the shoulder, "I've seen it all."
"You have?" she gasped, "Well, I can explain."
"You don't need to," he continued, smiling amicably, "there's nothing illegal about any of this."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course, this is a free country. Don't you know that?"
"I didn't know it was that free."
"May I use your phone now?" he asked turning back to the library.
"Certainly," Wadsworth said, shooting Miss Green a questioning glance behind the officer's head, to which she simply shook her head.
She locked the door on the officer once more and met the other guests out in the middle of the hall, each having a slightly different, though frazzled appearance.
"Why did you lock him in again?" Colonel Mustard asked as she made her way out of the study.
"We haven't finished searching the house yet."
"Well we're running out of time, only fifteen minutes until the police arrive," Mr. Scarlet whispered to the others.
"The police already came," Mr. Peacock whispered back.
"Oh, shut up!" the others whispered at him. It seemed to be his new slogan.
"Let's get on with it," Wadsworth said, dragging Mr. Peacock to the stairs.
Each person took their respective partners to their respective areas of the house and disappeared in the rooms, starting up the search once more.
End Note: I have several things to say- one, I will not tell you who the police officer is until next chapter. I will leave it up to you to guess for now. Also, I realize that Amelia Bones is an odd choice for Minister of Magic, but, here are my arguments: I was going to have Dumbledore be it but he really wouldn't want that position or the scandal involved with it, plus I wasn't up to the task of writing Dumbledore. Okay, secondly, I was going to have Percy, but then I thought to myself, ewe. I would almost rather have Fudge- almost. So, then I realized, hey, head of Department of Magical Law Enforcement, good guy... she seemed like a likely candidate. So, just if you were wondering what prompted that odd little tidbit- there you go.