Title: Fear-based Response?

Author: LdyKiya

Fandom: The Sentinel

Pairing: Jim/Blair

Summary: Jim makes a mistake

Archive:

Rating: PG for language

Parts: 1/1

Status: Complete

Series/Sequel: nope... one shot so far

Disclaimer: I don't own The Sentinel or any of its characters but it sure is fun to play with other peoples toys...

Author's notes & Warnings: This is my first Sentinel story. Oh and it's Slash.

Jim entered the loft and quickly walked over to Blair's room. When he saw Blair packing his stuff, he closed his eyes in pain. When was he going to learn to keep his mouth shut, especially when he said the most hurtful and stupid things that came to his panicking mind?

"Please don't leave, I didn't mean it." Jim said.

"Whatever, man" Blair answered, as he continued to toss his clothing into the box on his bed.

Jim pushed away from the door frame. "I'm sorry," he said as he stepped forward and grabbed both of Blair's wrists, and crossing them over his chest from behind, effectively stopping Blair from stuffing more of his belongings into boxes.

"I'm sorry," Jim repeated, as he laid his cheek on top of Blair's silky curls. "I'm an asshole."

Blair gave a snort as he pulled at his wrists and stepped away from Jim's hold without turning around. But he didn't start packing again and Jim took this as a good sign.

"I don't want you to leave. You're my best friend," Jim said, as he let his arms fall to his side.

"Right, man... Because best friends, as a rule, go around humiliating each other in front of their other friends and kicking each other out of their homes. What the hell is going on with you man? In the last three months you've kicked me out twice now. Half of the time you're ignoring me, the other half you're hovering over everything I do. You were sorry last time. I was your best friend last time. You're going to have to do better this time." Blair turned around as he finished his little speech, staring at Jim with large blue eyes.

Sorry was all well and good, and he could forgive Jim easily, but he needed to understand what the hell was going on with his best friend. The only thing he was sure of was that these outbursts had nothing to do with Jim the Sentinel and everything to with Jim the man.

Jim met Blair's stare for a moment before lowering his own eyes. He had really fucked up and he knew it, but what was he supposed to say? 'Gee sorry I'm having a little trouble reconciling being in love with my very straight best friend and having him around all the time' just didn't seem right. Jim wasn't a stranger to gay sex. He'd experimented in the army, but he'd never had any kind of relationship with the men he'd taken to his bed, at least not the kind he wanted to have with Blair.

"I need a drink," Jim said abruptly and headed out of the room.

"No way man, you're not going to have any excuses for your words or action if you change your mind later." Blair followed Jim out into the living room. "You sit your ass down and start talking. Or I'm going to go finish packing."

Jim stopped in the middle of the living room with one hand on his hip, the other rubbing the back of his neck. With a deep sigh, he glanced over at Blair and decided he had better do as he was told. He slumped into one of the comfortable blue chairs that he and Blair had picked out together after the last time a manic had trashed the loft.

"Well?" Blair asked as he broke the stretching silence.

Jim took a deep breath and gave Blair a questioning look and answered "fear-based response?"

Blair quickly turned around and headed to the kitchen for a bottle of water. It wouldn't do at all for Jim to see the twitch of his lips or the humor in his eyes at that answer. They need to work this out and work it out now.

"Hmmm, fear of what?" Blair asked, as he returned to stand in front of Jim and took a drink of his water before setting it down on the coffee table. He studied the silent sentinel before continuing. "Come on man, help me out here."

"You're the sentinel expert," Jim replied sullenly, trying to buy time until he could come up with something that wouldn't ruin the best friendship he'd ever had.

"This isn't about the sentinel, though. This is about you and me, our friendship."

"What the hell do you want me to say?"

"The truth," Blair answered simply.

Jim groaned. He wanted the truth, just great. Hell, he should just say it and let Blair finish his packing so he could go lick his wounds in private. Jim took a deep breath, squeezed his eyes closed so he wouldn't see the pity or disgust, and blurted "I love you".

The loft was silent for so long that Jim cocked his head to the side and cracked his eyes open to look at Blair, who was standing in front of him with his hands on his hips and a bemused expression on his face.

Once Blair saw that Jim was looking at him again, he asked, "So are we talking about 'you're my best friend, brother in all but blood' kind of love, or the 'I should probably change my dissertation topic kind'?" He stepped closer to Jim. His heart was beating erratically. He really, really wanted it to be the later. Although why it would be, when he'd never given Jim any reason or evidence that he was bisexual, was beyond him. It wasn't that he had been hiding his sexuality, it was just that once Jim had entered his life, there hadn't been any men that could turn his head the way that Jim did.

"uhh... the second one," Jim said, a little unsure. "But I can get over it. I don't want to lose our friendship."

Blair gave a bit of a chuckle and leaned over, placing his hands on either arm rest.

"One, who said I wanted you to get over it?" Blair whispered as he leaned in even closer. "Two, I'll talk to my committee tomorrow and change my topic. Three, I love you, to." And with that, Blair closed the distance between their mouths and kissed him.

Jim responded by pulling Blair onto his lap and returning the mind melting kiss.