Chapter 5- Silent
She was there and at that moment he felt almost happy, almost. For a long moment they just stood quietly, Coulmier running his finger softly over her face, removing the tears that ran down her face. And then she broke the silence, "Get him out of there! Where are the keys?"
" Ah, but Miss Chauncer, you know I would love to do that, but he is far too dangerous to you and himself to let him out.." Said the icy voice of the doctor.
"He is not dangerous and you know it! Let him out, now!" she screamed, spinning around. For the first time, Coulmier and Mr. Johnson's eyes met. Immediately Coulmier felt a strong surge of hatred towards this man for reasons unknown even to himself.
" Let him out, sir. The lovely Miss Chauncer will be perfectly safe with me," Mr. Johnson said, not taking his eyes from the distraught Coulmier.
Doctor Royer-Collard had never looked so very foul to Coulmier than as he placed the key in the keyhole and Coulmier smiled defiantly at him. The Doctor gave Coulmier a last warning look and opened the door.
"Coulmier!" Christina rushed passed Mr. Johnson and the Doctor, both who tried to grab her, and into the arms of Coulmier. "I won't let anything happen to you! You, you are like my brother. My father loved you too. I won't let you be killed!"
"Doctor, perhaps a private room for us could be arranged. Someplace a bit more comfortable," Mr. Johnson beckoned to the Doctor on a very wicked spun voice, scowling at Coulmier and Christina.
"And some clothes sir, and food. They have been starving you haven't they. It's not right!" Christina had now let go of Coulmier, who was leaning against the doorway, and had walked over to the Doctor to snap in his face.
"Yes, of course, right this way," the doctor replied dryly.
He showed them back to the room where they had waited before, Christina steadying Coulmier as he grasped her. There he left them to talk, but not before whispering in Coulmier's ear, "I shall kill her, make no mistake, if you tell them anything."
"Let me introduce myself. I am Mr. Johnson, your lawyer, and your only hope against the guillotine. Would you kindly have a seat and tell us your side of the story," The voice was extremely mocking.
Nothing but silence followed as Christina and Mr. Johnson watched Coulmier's brow furrow. He watched them, his eyes darting back and forth from the two faces. He would just keep his mouth shut. They would not know, he would not tell them.
He looked at Christina, his dear. Like she had put it, he was her brother and she his sister. He loved her, but more so he loved her father who had taken care of him, raised him. He would never let anything happen to his daughter.
He saw the cross of the wall behind the two spectators and gazed at it. Why had he devoted his life to God? Was there a God? And if there was a God, why did he punish him so? Then it struck him. There was a God, and Doctor Royer-Collard was it.
He started to cry. "Coulmier, just tell us. Please, it's the only way we can save you," Christina cried out, seizing his blanched hand. He shook his head violently no. "Mr. Johnson, might you leave us for a while. I'll come get you in a bit."
Mr. Johnson was hardly pleased, but did as he was bid. Then he got the evil idea to pay a more intimate visit to the Doctor.
With the abrupt slamming of the door, Christina broke into a long speech as tears erupted in much more numbers down her face, " I never knew you were imprisoned. I hate myself for ever thinking ill of you. After father died and you didn't answer my letters I thought you were just too busy for me. If I had ever known the truth! Coulmier, I'm so sorry.." But he broke her off with one sympathetic look.
"Christina, you didn't do a thing. You have no need to apologize to me or anyone else. I was very distressed when Collard took great pleasure in reading me that letter telling me of your father's death, and then telling me I could not write back. It is I who should be sorry. For leaving you and your father for my own selfish ambitions," he said as he embraced her tenderly.
"Your own selfish ambitions," she repeated, " How dare you say they are selfish. They are for God. For our creator. He deserves you more than me or my father. You once too believed that."
"Yes, back younger and more gullible. To think there are more important than the people who love you and you love. God, there is no God other than being a ruthless terror that feeds upon peoples greatest fears. Christina, I am not the boy I was," he ended.
"No you are not. Once you were a man who believed in and loved something so grand that you wanted to sacrifice everything for it, a very selfless act. Now you are a boy, a very selfish boy who is bitter towards everyone else just because his own demise may soon be immanent. You could be a martyr, but you will be nothing but a common petty thief, dying because of his own will to live. Coulmier, tell me what happened," her tone was desperate.
"Like you make very clear, though don't say it, there are more important things than one murderers life. Yes, I did kill that Abbe, and took great pleasure in doing so," he lied.
"You never were very good at lying. Then it was because you knew God was watching everything you did, now is no different no matter what you say. You did not kill that man anymore than you don't believe there is a God," she was shaking now.
Coulmier knew it was no good lying, she knew him too well. He would just not say anything at all. As he watched her face redden as her eyes did, a strong desire came over him, a desire he had only one other time in his life. He pulled her face close to his and could feel her hot breath upon his face. She was no longer crying but trembling.
"You must not ask questions. You must just trust me," he whispered to her, rubbing his nose lightly on hers. Then he pulled her even closer and kissed her lips. It was the most wonderful sensation to both of them, being Coulmier's only second time joining lips and Christina's first.
He kissed her lips and then her neck, and inched his way down her body. And she kissed his head and ran her fingers through his dark hair. He looked up at her and kissed her lips again.
He pushed away suddenly as her hands had started to pull off his shirt. "Why am I doing this? It will only make things harder! Go get the guards, shove me back in my cell, leave! Let me die!" he screamed, tossing himself down on the ground near the fire.
"Why don't you let me help you?" she threw her body next to his.
He looked at her and placed his hands on her face once more, " I love you, that's why."
She was there and at that moment he felt almost happy, almost. For a long moment they just stood quietly, Coulmier running his finger softly over her face, removing the tears that ran down her face. And then she broke the silence, "Get him out of there! Where are the keys?"
" Ah, but Miss Chauncer, you know I would love to do that, but he is far too dangerous to you and himself to let him out.." Said the icy voice of the doctor.
"He is not dangerous and you know it! Let him out, now!" she screamed, spinning around. For the first time, Coulmier and Mr. Johnson's eyes met. Immediately Coulmier felt a strong surge of hatred towards this man for reasons unknown even to himself.
" Let him out, sir. The lovely Miss Chauncer will be perfectly safe with me," Mr. Johnson said, not taking his eyes from the distraught Coulmier.
Doctor Royer-Collard had never looked so very foul to Coulmier than as he placed the key in the keyhole and Coulmier smiled defiantly at him. The Doctor gave Coulmier a last warning look and opened the door.
"Coulmier!" Christina rushed passed Mr. Johnson and the Doctor, both who tried to grab her, and into the arms of Coulmier. "I won't let anything happen to you! You, you are like my brother. My father loved you too. I won't let you be killed!"
"Doctor, perhaps a private room for us could be arranged. Someplace a bit more comfortable," Mr. Johnson beckoned to the Doctor on a very wicked spun voice, scowling at Coulmier and Christina.
"And some clothes sir, and food. They have been starving you haven't they. It's not right!" Christina had now let go of Coulmier, who was leaning against the doorway, and had walked over to the Doctor to snap in his face.
"Yes, of course, right this way," the doctor replied dryly.
He showed them back to the room where they had waited before, Christina steadying Coulmier as he grasped her. There he left them to talk, but not before whispering in Coulmier's ear, "I shall kill her, make no mistake, if you tell them anything."
"Let me introduce myself. I am Mr. Johnson, your lawyer, and your only hope against the guillotine. Would you kindly have a seat and tell us your side of the story," The voice was extremely mocking.
Nothing but silence followed as Christina and Mr. Johnson watched Coulmier's brow furrow. He watched them, his eyes darting back and forth from the two faces. He would just keep his mouth shut. They would not know, he would not tell them.
He looked at Christina, his dear. Like she had put it, he was her brother and she his sister. He loved her, but more so he loved her father who had taken care of him, raised him. He would never let anything happen to his daughter.
He saw the cross of the wall behind the two spectators and gazed at it. Why had he devoted his life to God? Was there a God? And if there was a God, why did he punish him so? Then it struck him. There was a God, and Doctor Royer-Collard was it.
He started to cry. "Coulmier, just tell us. Please, it's the only way we can save you," Christina cried out, seizing his blanched hand. He shook his head violently no. "Mr. Johnson, might you leave us for a while. I'll come get you in a bit."
Mr. Johnson was hardly pleased, but did as he was bid. Then he got the evil idea to pay a more intimate visit to the Doctor.
With the abrupt slamming of the door, Christina broke into a long speech as tears erupted in much more numbers down her face, " I never knew you were imprisoned. I hate myself for ever thinking ill of you. After father died and you didn't answer my letters I thought you were just too busy for me. If I had ever known the truth! Coulmier, I'm so sorry.." But he broke her off with one sympathetic look.
"Christina, you didn't do a thing. You have no need to apologize to me or anyone else. I was very distressed when Collard took great pleasure in reading me that letter telling me of your father's death, and then telling me I could not write back. It is I who should be sorry. For leaving you and your father for my own selfish ambitions," he said as he embraced her tenderly.
"Your own selfish ambitions," she repeated, " How dare you say they are selfish. They are for God. For our creator. He deserves you more than me or my father. You once too believed that."
"Yes, back younger and more gullible. To think there are more important than the people who love you and you love. God, there is no God other than being a ruthless terror that feeds upon peoples greatest fears. Christina, I am not the boy I was," he ended.
"No you are not. Once you were a man who believed in and loved something so grand that you wanted to sacrifice everything for it, a very selfless act. Now you are a boy, a very selfish boy who is bitter towards everyone else just because his own demise may soon be immanent. You could be a martyr, but you will be nothing but a common petty thief, dying because of his own will to live. Coulmier, tell me what happened," her tone was desperate.
"Like you make very clear, though don't say it, there are more important things than one murderers life. Yes, I did kill that Abbe, and took great pleasure in doing so," he lied.
"You never were very good at lying. Then it was because you knew God was watching everything you did, now is no different no matter what you say. You did not kill that man anymore than you don't believe there is a God," she was shaking now.
Coulmier knew it was no good lying, she knew him too well. He would just not say anything at all. As he watched her face redden as her eyes did, a strong desire came over him, a desire he had only one other time in his life. He pulled her face close to his and could feel her hot breath upon his face. She was no longer crying but trembling.
"You must not ask questions. You must just trust me," he whispered to her, rubbing his nose lightly on hers. Then he pulled her even closer and kissed her lips. It was the most wonderful sensation to both of them, being Coulmier's only second time joining lips and Christina's first.
He kissed her lips and then her neck, and inched his way down her body. And she kissed his head and ran her fingers through his dark hair. He looked up at her and kissed her lips again.
He pushed away suddenly as her hands had started to pull off his shirt. "Why am I doing this? It will only make things harder! Go get the guards, shove me back in my cell, leave! Let me die!" he screamed, tossing himself down on the ground near the fire.
"Why don't you let me help you?" she threw her body next to his.
He looked at her and placed his hands on her face once more, " I love you, that's why."