Flight

By Dany

A/N: Wow. I was overwhelmed by the response I got. Thanks. (Keep letting me know if I'm on the right path). And before you go, she has no clue about computers, let me tell you I have absolutely no clue about computers ;)

xxxxx

Chapter 3 (A CSI's skill)

The next two days remained equally quiet with only a robbery and a suicide. The team tried unsuccessfully to track Grissom down. Only Sara did nothing to help. She had retreated to her own world. Both nights she came to work looking like a ghost. She spoke only when absolutely necessary.

The others worried about her as much as they did about Grissom. Nick had tried to get her to go to breakfast with him, since he had the strong suspicion she wasn't eating, but his only answer was a cold look before she left him standing in the parking lot.

Catherine had wanted her to come over to her place to talk over a beer hoping she would get her to open up or at least make sure she got some sleep. But this invitation was also shot down with nothing more than a glance. Warrick and Jim had yet to think of another tactic to approach her.

Shift was over and Sara was in the locker room getting ready to leave when she looked in the mirror. What she saw there scared her. She thought she had looked bad before, after he turned her down, but now she didn't even recognize herself. She was more than tired. She had been tired a week ago. Now she was... she had almost no energy left, no color remained in her face, no spark of life in her eyes.

This had to stop.

She had to move on with her life. A life without Grissom.

There was only one problem though. She was not ready for that.

Grissom still had a vital part of her and she needed it back. But to achieve that she had to find him. Maybe it was time she started looking for him.

She took her knapsack and went over to his office, hoping to find it unoccupied. It was.

She decided to check his desk first, but after methodically going through his drawers she came up empty. The rest of the office consisted mainly of showcases and jars filled with dead animals, a couch and the blackboard. The blackboard held nothing personal. This was a dead end.

Just as she was about to leave her eyes fell on the terrarium that housed Grissom's tarantula. Something drew her to it. The large arachnid was still there, sitting under a rock in one of the corners. When she looked closer she saw something shiny sticking out of the sand. Sara was afraid of spiders and she battled with herself whether to reach in and grab what looked to be a key or just leave it. The object was at the other end of the tank. Maybe she could get it out of there fast enough without disturbing the spider. Opening the lid she placed her hand above it. She tried to memorize the location of the object. With one last look to assure her the spider was in her corner she closed her eyes and reached in.

Pulling her hand back again as fast as she could she opened her eyes and grinned in triumph.

It was indeed a key, a house key.

That was so Grissom. Never trust someone with the key to your house, trust your 'watch spider'.

She knew the others had already gone through his house, but it was worth a try. After all, she found something in his office that they didn't.

xxxxx

Opening the front door, the first thing she noticed was how quiet it was in his house. It was as quiet as she had imagined it. She knew Grissom was someone who reveled in silence, although he tended to turn his classical music on too loud.

She liked the silence too and she had imagined what it would be like, to sit next to him on the couch in peaceful silence reading the latest issue of 'Forensic Science'. It was one of her favorite fantasies.

The knowledge that this would never happen made her feel more desperate to end this. This could not be healthy.

She shook her head in an attempt to free herself of these useless thoughts and focus on the task at hand. She started at his desk and worked her way through the rooms.

Some drawers seemed disturbed and she knew the others had gone through it as well. It seemed odd that there was so much of him left here. With the speed of his departure he obviously hadn't had time to clean out his things.

On one of his bedroom wall she notice a void between showcases. Probably a very special specimen he didn't want to leave behind. She examined the remaining showcases more closely and her heart missed a beat when she realized that indeed a very special one was not here anymore. Grissom always said that coincidences were scientific anomalies. So, she dared to hope that this was no coincidence.

When she arrived in Las Vegas she had a present for him in her luggage. It was a Morpho Cacica caterpillar with brown / metallic-blue color she had found in an old little shop far away from the tourism center in San Francisco. When she had seen it, it was as if it had spoken to her, enticing her to buy it for Grissom. She did and when she had given it to him at their first shared breakfast he had been very pleased, saying that he didn't own one of this species yet.

And now it wasn't there anymore. Her heart refused to believe that he had simply lost it or thrown it away. No, that couldn't be.

But still, this didn't help her find him. She needed to start over again. She went through his desk for a second time. Her fingers touched a folder with the title 'Gilbert College of the Deaf' and without really knowing why she picked it up. Opening it she saw various articles on otosclerosis. She quickly scanned through them. And when it registered what she had read a lump formed in her stomach. How could she have missed that? Of course she had been too preoccupied with her own feelings of hurt, but this should have been obvious. She was a CSI for Christ's sake. How could he have kept this a secret?

She took one article and pocketed it. Maybe it could help.

Encouraged by her findings she kept looking. After finding nothing more in the living room, she wandered into the kitchen. 'There's always a clue' Grissom's voice kept repeating inside her head.

And indeed, her luck, or her skill, won out again. She found a slip of paper in the trashcan with a mail account on it, entomogg. This had possibilities. The paper went to join the article in her pocket.

Now on to the second step: research.

xxxxx

Sara had taken the night off not really wanting to face the others. They would just question her about how she was feeling and try to get her to join them in their search. Catherine had questioned her on the phone, but had complied with her request. Sara told her that she needed some time for herself and Catherine seemed to accept that.

Now she was sitting at her computer doing something that could be described as illegal. After retrieving some more information on otosclerosis she turned to his mail account. Well, she had the name so the only thing she needed was the password. Since it was Grissom it was probably something bug related, but still, that could be almost anything. It could even be some mile long Latin name.

She only had three tries before a notice would go to the account. After staring at the monitor for five more minutes, she had decided on a first try: tarantula.

Failed logon!

Okay, next try: Beatles. His favorite joke.

Failed logon!

The possibilities were endless, how was she supposed to pick the right one? The staring at the screen continued. Her mind started to drift. 'I do have feelings... especially for you!' His words haunted her. What if... no, that couldn't be.

She typed in carpet beetle, only to erase it again. Could it be?

No. She typed in carpet beetle again, but her hand halted over the return key. What if?

'I do have feelings... especially for you! 'I do have feelings... especially for you! Especially for you! For you! For you!'

Before she really noticed her fingers had erased the nasty crawler and typed in Sara Sidle. And before her brain could object the return key was pressed. She closed her eyes in fear of what she might see. Seeing 'Failed logon!' again would be bad, because then she would have to find another way in.

But if she was in wouldn't that be in some way even worse? That would proof that he really cared, but didn't want to do anything.

And he ran. From her?

But she needed to know. She had vowed to herself that she would resolve this. She could do this.

The shrill ringing of her phone made her eyes snap open. The phone faded immediately into the background when she saw that she was in.

TBC