Oh No, What Now?
Chapter 1
Waking up to sun is never a good thing in my book anyway. It's too bright and way too early for any person to be up, unless you wake up with the cows. My body is up, and there is no way it's going back to that peaceful sleep I was in only moments ago. I move my arm down just a little; just to make sure he is still here with me. I do this every time I sleep with him. I have this fear, which will never go away, that one morning Rick or my mom is going to find us like this, and take Eli way from me. That is my biggest fear in my life...losing him. He is the only one that really understands who I am. He doesn't push me to do something I don't want to do, and I'm the only person that really gets who he is. Everyone thinks he is a lost cause, I think he is just perfect the way he is.
I don't know what I'd would do if I did lose him. Tears started to form in my eyes, and I know they will start falling from my eyes any moment. I do this every time I think about this, damn me for thinking about this again. Why can't I just realize that he is not going anywhere? Maybe because I know that he may. I'm slowly starting to cry now, I try my damnedest to hold them in, but with no avail, I start to cry harder. I feel Eli starting to move around meaning that my crying woke him up, damn it.
"Grace, what's wrong?" His embrace around my middle gets a little tighter as he pulls me towards him more. I can't help, but notice his voice when he spoke was still filled with sleep; I smile a little, to me that voice is just sexy.
"I... I..." I can barely say anything to him, it seems like I'm back in high school, when I had this biggest crush on him, I could barely speak to him, now I just can't find the words to say what is on my mind. Now getting mad at myself for not being able to say a few simple words, I cry harder, not knowing what else I could do right then. I move onto my side so I could snuggle closer to his chest, hoping the feel of him against me will help me calm down, plus I don't want anyone to hear me.
"Baby girl wants the matter?"
My crying has stopped a little; I move my head so it lies on the pillow next to his. Looking into his eyes, I know he is worried about me, and I love that about him. No one has ever looked at me the way Eli does, and to me no one ever will. I close my eyes, and take a deep breath and just slowly and quietly tell him what's wrong in a few simple words, "I can't lose you."
As soon as I heard those words leave her mouth, I think my heart just broke into a million little pieces. I hate how our relationship puts this kind of burden on her, in a relationship you shouldn't have to worry about losing someone that you truly love, but hell what do I know about relationships in the first place? My lying here listening to her soft crying, and I have no clue on what to say. I don't know what the future brings for us, and that scares the hell out of me. I can't lose her either, but I just won't admit it. I look down into her eyes, and I see scared, sadness, but must of all I see my future in her eyes. I have to say something to her, something that is going to reassure her, even if it's bullshit. I take a deep breath, and just say the first thing that comes to mind, "Grace, your not going to lose me," her mouth begins to open, to protest, but I quickly move my lips down to hers. I just want her to believe me in what I say, and not protest it.
I lift my lips from hers and I see that the worry is almost gone in her eyes, almost. "Besides if they kick me out, I will just live with my mom. Or even better yet just get a place of my own. That way I won't have to be bossed around, and can do whatever the hell I want." A small smile forms on her face, and I'm glad that I could make her smile at least for a little while.
"And then I could move in with you, and we wouldn't have to sneak around anymore like we do now."
"But I like sneaking around with you. It makes it more dangerous when we do that. Besides, it's way too early to discuss moving in with each other. What time we got anyway?"
I watch as Grace sits up just enough to see over my shoulder. I know it's early, but if this early in the morning, she still looks great. I look over her once more before she starts to move back down to her original spot on the bed, and I notice for the first time that she is wearing one of my tank tops that I have. Damn, talk about looking good. I snap my head out of the gutter, and look up in her eyes so she can tell me what time we got.
"It's just a little after six," I get this sly smile on my face, and I can't help, but ask what he was thinking about, "and what where you just daydreaming about Mr. Sammler?" Now I see a coy smile appear on his face, and I know he was thinking about me with just that little smile.
"Now why do I need to tell you Ms. Manning? What I daydream about is none of your business."
"Oh really? Well if you want this warm body next to you at night then I would advice you to tell me. Or else I'm gone, and you will just have to find someone else to keep you warm at night." I know he wouldn't go find someone else, but I just couldn't help, but throw that in there, just to spice it up a little bit.
"Oh so now you're threatening me? Is that what our relationship has come down to? If I don't answer you with the right answer, I have to find someone else? Well fine be that way, I will have no trouble finding someone to keep me warm... every night." Now I know and Grace knows that I wouldn't do that too her, but we do this kind of stuff once in awhile, always say we are going to leave or whatever.
"Oh really, what are you going to do huh? Pick up a hooker on a street corner?" Man we need help. Or it's just too early, and I say it's way too early. But it's too much fun to tease him about leaving him. Even though, it wouldn't be funny if he did leave.
"No, well I would if I could, but we don't have any around this part of town. Trust me, I've looked." It's getting hard to hold in my laughter at this point. Like I know anything about hookers around here. Maybe Coop does, but not me.
"Well then I guess you will just have to be lonely at night. Let's just hope you don't get some weird disease or something." I see a smile start to form on his face, and I know we won't be able to keep our selves from laughing much longer.
"Disease? Now why in the world would I get a disease for sleeping by myself?" I know what she means, but it's fun to see how much she will say, before she just tells me to shut up or something. That is one thing I love about Grace, she has changed so much from High School, while at least around me she has. She doesn't hold anything back, she pretty much just speaks her mind, and if she swears she doesn't really give a flying fuck about it. She has definitely grown up, but maybe that is because I influence her too much. Hmmm maybe.
"Yeah you know that disease that guys get now what was that called..." I don't know what is up with me lately. Now a days I don't care what I say, if I say a swear word it's no big deal to me. Before I was this person that was shy and was well in my mother's eyes perfect. Now I'm not that anymore, true I'm not a real bad ass, but I'm not little miss perfect. Eli has definitely changed me, and I think for the better. And I see this look in his eyes, wondering if I'm really going to say it. Maybe I will keep him in suspense a little bit more. "Oh damn I can't think of it, I know it had a color in it. Hmm…"
"Grace will you just say it before the rest of the house wakes up." This is getting funny; I know she is going to say it. She is just waiting for the perfect moment, which is killing me.
"Oh yes now I remember it. How could I forget it, just two simple words? But you would you know. You will get it, because I am not going to help you out in that department, such a lonely thing sleeping all by your self. You know I think I even read somewhere that a man died from it also. I never knew getting Blue Balls could kill a person ya know. Well I hope that doesn't happen with you. It would be such a sad thing." Yup I have changed all right.
"Blue Balls, you think I'm going to get that just because I have to sleep alone now? Oh sweetie, I do have ways of making it go away, with or without your help." My coy smile is back.
"Yeah well enjoy yourself okay?" And with that I just bust out into a fight of laughter, this conversion has been way too funny. God I'm laughing so hard I have tears running down my face.
Once I saw Grace start to laugh, I couldn't help, but join in. But I knew if we kept this up someone was bound to hear us. I moved down a little so my mouth was just a few centimeters away from her neck. One thing that I have learned is a way to keep Grace quiet is to just start softly kissing her neck, gets her quiet just like that. I move my lips down a little bit more, so she can feel my breath, once I hear her laughter start to calm down a little, I move in for the kill. My lips move after so softy over her skin, leaving a small wet trail behind. Her laughter is completely gone now, and her breathing is getting a little bit slower.
Like I said, gets to her every time. I slowly make my way up her neck, sucking just a little bit as I work my way up to her ear. I feel her hands start to make there way up my arms heading towards the base of my neck. Within seconds I feel her hands gently start to rub the fine hairs on the base of my neck, a sign that she enjoys what I'm doing, well besides the soft moans coming from her mouth. I finally reach her ear and I whisper so softly that I'm sure it's giving her chills. "You don't want to wake up anyone do you know?"
God I hate it when he does that. Wait no I love it and hate it at the same time. I never knew a guy kissing up your neck could be such a turn on, but then I never knew a guy like Eli before either. I try to calm my breathing down a little bit to tell answer his question, but doing that is hard enough. I finally have my breathing calmed down a little and I whisper his answer, "no, but did you have to start doing that? You know what that does to me." Damn me for being so easy to manipulate.
"Yes it was my only method of choice. Besides you know you love it." I know she does, she just hates admitting it to me. I know that I shouldn't get us this riled up; she has to leave soon before her mom gets up. But damn it my hormones are all over the place today.
"Eli you know I do, but..." he's doing it again, he knows that this turns me on, and he damn well knows that I have to leave soon. Ugh, this is so unfair I tell you. My breathing is starting to speed up again, as I feel his hand move over my stomach. This is going to get out of control soon I know it. "Eli, God why must you start something you can't finish?"
"Because it's torture to us."
"I know, and we both don't know when I can come back here for the night." He is still doing it, kissing my neck so soft, and once in awhile I will feel a light bite, but then it's replaced with his tongue going over the place where he just bit down. And his hand is still on my stomach, slowly rubbing. I swear he is going to be the death of me one day.
Okay this has to stop, I don't know how much longer I can just lay here kissing her neck, and rubbing her stomach. I mean come on I'm a guy, it's hard for us to control our selves, and I'm about to lose that control. "Grace, we have to stop this..." plus it doesn't help either that her hands are still rubbing the base of my neck. Almost like she is edging me on, even though we both know we need to stop this.
"I know we do, but it's so damn hard to." My voice is still a soft whisper, and my breathing is still raging. Why did our parents have to get married? This wouldn't be a problem if they had met. I feel his kisses start to slow down, and I know he is forcing himself to stop. His hand has stopped moving and now just lies on my stomach, and now his head just lie besides mine on the pillow.
"Damn right it's hard to stop." A small deep laugh escapes his mouth, and I know he will be taking a cold shower once I leave.
"E I have to go my mom will be up soon and so will Rick. Good thing they both have to work today. Maybe we can get Jessie and Zoe out of the house today. Hmm what do you think of that?" I turn my head just a little to the right so I can look into his eyes.
"You are evil you know that, but it will be worth a try. You better get going, before I do something both of us will like, but we won't be able to stop this time." I hate this you know I really do.
"Yeah you're right. I will see you in a little bit okay?" I see him nod his head, and I can't help, but think how this just sucks for the both of this. Every time I spend the night in his room, I have to leave before 6:30, one morning I just want to lie in his arms till we no longer can stay in bed. I lean down and place a soft kiss on his lips. "I'll see you in a little. Enjoy the cold shower."
"Ha funny Grace." I watch as she gets up and grabs her robe from the floor. Why can't we be a normal couple? When she shuts the door, I get up and head for the shower. Wondering what is going to come next, or what the day will bring us.