The rain was starting to ease up, the constant battering on the window becoming slightly less. The gloom and thunder remained, a constant reminder that the world hated him. Hardly anyone one of the students came to talk to him now, it was much too dangerous to be caught talking to him, when anyone could walk in and see them in his classroom. He was forgotten, omitted from the conscious mind of anyone who used to know him. An image of anger started to build in his mind, killing any thought of sorrow for himself. You brought this on yourself, remember that you old bastard. The all hate you because of what you did, you chose to do it, and you deserve to be hated. Why would anyone have a bit of compassion for such a worthless example of the human race? He kept telling himself that they didn't, didn't care about him at all. Him, a useless, broken, angry old man.
He shot down half of his scotch, which was sitting on the windowsill in front of him. Don't go back down that path. Leave it for you're dreams, when you cant escape. You only bring pain to yourself.
Not as much as I brought when I betrayed her.
He shut his eyes, trying to drown out the memories now threatening to drown him.
A girl laying broken on a blood soaked ground, her hair wild around her...his terror at see her their came rushing back to her.
STOP IT! He screamed at himself. He spun away from the window, knocking his scotch onto the floor. The shattered glass reflected his image into his eyes. The distorted images, looked like so much like how he remembered her, only without the pain, the bitterness the emptiness. The only person who he ever cared about, considered his equal. The one who could of saved him. "ARGHHHHHHHHH" he screamed. "LEAVE ME BE". The memories of her betrayal, even after 30 years brought too much pain. He could erase them, but doing that would leave him free of guilt, that would be forgetting her, one part of his own flesh and blood.
He turned back to the window, leaning on it for support. Thunder flashed. At least she can't see you now, how you have changed into a vile life form, how you have drowned in you self pity and self-worthlessness.
Better dead than alone and tormented. You could have been beside her right now, have the joy of her still being here... you could still be a sane man, but instead you betrayed her.
I betrayed her. I HANDED HER OVER TO HER KILLERS. The tears unshed for 30 years came pouring down his face, wet and accusing to his touch. You must hate me, despise me... want me to die as did you.
I tell you this is better a punishment, I remember you everyday, everyday I curse myself for killing you, everyday I hate myself, I have to live with Albus Dumbledore in the same castle and I hate his eyes turning on me with, the one thing no one should regard me with. Pity. Why should he pity me when I killed you? No one should care about me. No one should even acknowledge my lowly existence on this earth. Because I took you away from this earth. I took you away from those who loved you; I took you away from myself, the self that was worthy of love before ... before the war.
She trusted you, so did everyone else. But your sister isn't coming back now is she? You did that.
A cold, broken, friendless man, fighting with his demons, was silhouetted at a windowsill in the old Astronomy tower at Hogwarts. He was alone, destined to always be alone.
The flashes of her death continued to plague him well into the night.
The End
For anyone who has read this: Can you please review and tell me who you think it was about. I will post who I did actually write it about. soon