Read and review, pretty please.
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Chapter Six
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A couple of months later...
I couldn't stop hiccupping as I watched him open my apartment door for us since I was too... drunk I guess, to do it and I couldn't stop laughing hysterically for no apparent reason in between my hiccups. As soon as the door was open and I stepped in, my body became limp and I collapsed on the floor. He laughed by seeing my own laughs, I think and I tried to tell him to shut up between my laughs.
I closed my eyes trying to restrain more laughs from coming out and felt warm and strong arms lift me from the floor. I opened my eyes again and was met with Martin's sweet face, smiling down at me. With all my power, even through my dizziness, I got to open my mouth and tell; "I love you." though came out slurred words.
He bent down and placed a gently kiss over my alcoholic tasty lips. "I love you too." He whispered after taking his lips away, what made me very mad and with all the strength I had left I lifted my hand to put it on the back of his neck and bring his head down. He planted his lips over mine and, closing my eyes, I gave into him and moved my mouth with his.
Please, God, remember me to never drink so much again when all we are having is a couple of drinks after work.
* * *
A smile slowly crept up on my face as he nuzzled his face in my neck and kissed it softly just before letting out a small sigh. He tightened his arms around me and snuggled closer and this time I let out a small sigh. "I love you." He whispered just below my ear.
"Move in with me." I whispered back instead of the classic reply and I think I startled him because he let go of my body and shifted so he was almost on top of me, looking me in the eye.
"What?"
"Come live with me." I said again but now a hint of nervousness escaped with my voice. I don't know where that question came from, it just suddenly came out, suddenly escaped between my lips and then I couldn't undo this. I could blame my drunken mind but it wasn't as drunk now as it was and I actually was thinking very clearly. And anyway, actually I didn't really want to undo this. I wanted him with me every waking moment and more. I wanted him here, with me all the time. I wanted him...
I don't want to need him like this, I treacherously thought. And then another thought immediately contradicted the first one. It had been a long time, perhaps never, since I had needed anyone like I needed him. Perhaps my true weakness all this time had been never allowing myself to. I was still strong in sprit, opinionated and intelligent. Loving Martin would change none of those things. I wouldn't let it, not as long as I had breath in my body. Needing him could be the strong thing instead of the weakiness I always thought it was. Needing him could be my salvation from the dark place instead being the one thing that would send me to there.
I looked expectantly at him, waiting for his response. I was always so reticent, expressing need, and one that didn't involve being left alone. There was no way he could refuse, because if he did I'd probably never make such an offer again, as proud as I am and he knew that.
Soon, even under the darkness of the bedroom, I saw him smiling, giving me one of his sweet smiles. He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on my lips and pulled away just enough to look in my eyes. "That's a good idea." He whispered as one hand went to my face and traced the contour of it, softly caressing my cheeks with his fingers.
I closed my eyes out of reflex of his touch and nodded, agreeing with him. "Yeah, I mean, you're always here and when you're not I'm at your place. We're always together."
"We are." He whispered in my ear and softly kissed it then moved his lips slowly across my cheek to finally find my lips and stop there. He kissed me with such softness and love that made me amazed. "I love you." He whispered breathless after pulling his lips away.
"I love you too." This time I said the right words as a reply. Gosh, I loved him so much. Much more than I never thought I could love someone. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, to wake up every morning with his rhythmic breath and warm body beside me, to have his scent, his perfume in my sheets, my pillow, my house; everywhere.
I just needed him more than I needed my own life. And this scared me, scared the shit out of me because I never needed anyone or anything so badly in my life. And as I said to Lisa once, I didn't really expect it, but things happen that you don't expect to.
I didn't expect such powerful love for Martin. But now I'm glad it did happen.
* * *
'Fights with ex-husband' I wrote on the white board and closed the pen. "The husband is always the first suspect." I muttered to myself but I think I muttered too loud for Jack sighed and stood.
"Because when the wife disappear everybody thinks the husband has something do to with it."
"Maybe she just wanted to get away."
"Maybe." Jack nodded and instead of going to do what he had todo he kept staring at me. Jesus, how I hate when people do that. He knew that very well.
"What?" I couldn't stop all the anger from my voice, so it came out with a hint of it.
He shook his head and opened his mouth to say something but right then Danny came and put a pile of paper with a loud thud over the table. "From Elisa's telephone. All the numbers she called in the last three months."
"Wow, she does know a lot of people." I exclamed looking surprised at the amount of papers. Oh my god, how could someone use the phone so much? And, oh my god, it was a LOT of paper. I should find something to do real quick before I was voluntaried to run through her phone numbers.
"Have fun." Danny smirk and quickly turned to walk away and Jack did the same, quiclky going to his office before I could argue with him.
"No way, Danny. I'm already busy." Son of a bitch... he's not going to let me doing all that alone. No way.
"I have leg job to do." He called without turning to look at me.
"Bastard..." I muttered under my breath. Bastard...
"What's the problem?"
I whirled immediately and found myself face to face with Martin. I gave him a big relieved smile and pointed at the papers on thwe table. No way in hell I would be the one to do desk job. "You're supposed to run through these papers. It's the telephones Elisa called in the last three months."
"All this?" He asked with the same surprised face I held little while ago.
"Yup." I nodded and grabbed my empty mug of cofee. "Have fun."
"Hey, you're not making me do this alone." He argued, but hey, wasn't he the one who said he couldn't say no to me? I didn't turn, didn't look at him, just kept on walking and soon I heard him sighing. That small sound made my heart ache and found myself feeling bad for him...
Ok, Samantha, focus. Remember, if you turn you'll see his puppy face and will be soon sitting on that table helping him. You do not want that. That's right, I do not want that. Hell, but since when I do as I'm told?
I turned and there he was, face ready to win me... The men in my life are all a bunch of bastards... I'm so damn lucky...
* * *
I looked away from the TV when the telephone rang, catching my attention. I sighed and cursed whoever it was that was disturbing my TV time. Damn person... "Hello?"
"Hey there."
His voice, lovely as ever, filled my ear and sent a shiver down my body. "Hey." I whispered and I'd be whirling the telephone cord around my finger if it wasn't cordless.
"Whatcha doing?"
"Nothing... Well, I was watching TV but you interrupted me..."
"Ohh, sorry 'bout that." He said in a voice that implied he wasn't at all.
"I'd thank you for that if you were really sorry."
"Ouch Samantha. How can you have such suspicion?"
"Oh, please." I laughed and shifted to find a better position. "I was all happy watching Tv in my bed then you called and interrupted me."
"You're in bed? What are you wearing?"
I chuckled, an affectionate smile settling upon my lips, and wearily tucked a piece of golden hair behind my ear. It was way past my bedtime but without Martin with me I just couldn't find sleep. Or it couldn't find me... I had gotten used to Martin sleeping by my side, hearing his heartbeat and his soft breathing, my head on his chest and his face buried in my hair. I missed that.
"Sorry to disappoint you, Martin" I said in a voice pitched just a touch lower than my usual husky timbre, "But if you're looking for an exciting answer to your question, you've
hit the wrong button on your speed dial."
"You're the only number on my speed dial." I smiled and said nothing, not knowing if he meant that literally or figuratively, but I was pleased regardless. "Yours and the Chinese's." He added after a second of silence. "And believe me, anything you're wearing is much more inspiring than that ridiculous uniform the deliver guy uses."
I laughed and let my hand fall over my eyes to softly rub them and make sure no tears would come out. "All right, just to please you, I'm wearing your red tee shirt."
"Ooooo, you kill me."
"I'm not the only one easy here."
"Only with you." He said smoothly, his voice soft and slow. I missed him.
"And what are you doing?"
"Nothing really. Watching TV too. Nothing good on, though."
"Poor Martin." I chuckled out and heard his own chuckle. "It's past eleven, why don't you just go to bed?"
"Mmm. I know I should, but I can't, my mind refuses to shut down."
"Why? What are you thinking?"
Silence. Then, as if words indeed had been spoken, unbidden, the image of him braced above me, his eyes staring deep into mine, a smile softly playing over his lips as he gently tucked a lock of hair behind me ear and whispered sweet words to me danced before me. I shivered and for a moment, I could almost smell the scent of his skin. Maybe it was just his tee around my body, embracing me as if it was him. I wondered just what picture of me he carried around inside his head.
"Oh."
More silence from him. Or us both. Then he let out a breath and the words came out. "I love you and I miss you."
"Me too." I said back with the voice of a spoiled child, hoping that with that voice the traveling dad would come back earlier. "You've got to move in quickly."
He chukled and I had to chukle too. "You're too needy."
"No, I miss you and you should be flattered."
"Thank you then."
"You're weolcomm...." Just when I was speaking a yawn forced its exit from my mouth, escaping between my lips and ending in Martin's ear. I was getting tired and my eyes were starting to slowly close. Gosh, his voice was lulling me to sleep and I never thought it was possible.
"I should let you go. You're tired."
"Mmmm... I am... but I don't want to let you go."
"You have to. Besides, I'll see you tomorrow morning."
Yeah, tomorrow was Saturday and I'd help him pack his things and he'd finally move in. I felt this big smile spread across my face as I remembered that little fact. "Yeah." Another yawn. "I love you."
"I love you too." He whispered and the line went dead - exept for our breathes - for a second. "Good night."
"Good night." I sighed and hung up. Well, at least now I was tired enough to finally sleep.
* * *
~*~
Chapter Six
~*~
A couple of months later...
I couldn't stop hiccupping as I watched him open my apartment door for us since I was too... drunk I guess, to do it and I couldn't stop laughing hysterically for no apparent reason in between my hiccups. As soon as the door was open and I stepped in, my body became limp and I collapsed on the floor. He laughed by seeing my own laughs, I think and I tried to tell him to shut up between my laughs.
I closed my eyes trying to restrain more laughs from coming out and felt warm and strong arms lift me from the floor. I opened my eyes again and was met with Martin's sweet face, smiling down at me. With all my power, even through my dizziness, I got to open my mouth and tell; "I love you." though came out slurred words.
He bent down and placed a gently kiss over my alcoholic tasty lips. "I love you too." He whispered after taking his lips away, what made me very mad and with all the strength I had left I lifted my hand to put it on the back of his neck and bring his head down. He planted his lips over mine and, closing my eyes, I gave into him and moved my mouth with his.
Please, God, remember me to never drink so much again when all we are having is a couple of drinks after work.
* * *
A smile slowly crept up on my face as he nuzzled his face in my neck and kissed it softly just before letting out a small sigh. He tightened his arms around me and snuggled closer and this time I let out a small sigh. "I love you." He whispered just below my ear.
"Move in with me." I whispered back instead of the classic reply and I think I startled him because he let go of my body and shifted so he was almost on top of me, looking me in the eye.
"What?"
"Come live with me." I said again but now a hint of nervousness escaped with my voice. I don't know where that question came from, it just suddenly came out, suddenly escaped between my lips and then I couldn't undo this. I could blame my drunken mind but it wasn't as drunk now as it was and I actually was thinking very clearly. And anyway, actually I didn't really want to undo this. I wanted him with me every waking moment and more. I wanted him here, with me all the time. I wanted him...
I don't want to need him like this, I treacherously thought. And then another thought immediately contradicted the first one. It had been a long time, perhaps never, since I had needed anyone like I needed him. Perhaps my true weakness all this time had been never allowing myself to. I was still strong in sprit, opinionated and intelligent. Loving Martin would change none of those things. I wouldn't let it, not as long as I had breath in my body. Needing him could be the strong thing instead of the weakiness I always thought it was. Needing him could be my salvation from the dark place instead being the one thing that would send me to there.
I looked expectantly at him, waiting for his response. I was always so reticent, expressing need, and one that didn't involve being left alone. There was no way he could refuse, because if he did I'd probably never make such an offer again, as proud as I am and he knew that.
Soon, even under the darkness of the bedroom, I saw him smiling, giving me one of his sweet smiles. He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on my lips and pulled away just enough to look in my eyes. "That's a good idea." He whispered as one hand went to my face and traced the contour of it, softly caressing my cheeks with his fingers.
I closed my eyes out of reflex of his touch and nodded, agreeing with him. "Yeah, I mean, you're always here and when you're not I'm at your place. We're always together."
"We are." He whispered in my ear and softly kissed it then moved his lips slowly across my cheek to finally find my lips and stop there. He kissed me with such softness and love that made me amazed. "I love you." He whispered breathless after pulling his lips away.
"I love you too." This time I said the right words as a reply. Gosh, I loved him so much. Much more than I never thought I could love someone. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, to wake up every morning with his rhythmic breath and warm body beside me, to have his scent, his perfume in my sheets, my pillow, my house; everywhere.
I just needed him more than I needed my own life. And this scared me, scared the shit out of me because I never needed anyone or anything so badly in my life. And as I said to Lisa once, I didn't really expect it, but things happen that you don't expect to.
I didn't expect such powerful love for Martin. But now I'm glad it did happen.
* * *
'Fights with ex-husband' I wrote on the white board and closed the pen. "The husband is always the first suspect." I muttered to myself but I think I muttered too loud for Jack sighed and stood.
"Because when the wife disappear everybody thinks the husband has something do to with it."
"Maybe she just wanted to get away."
"Maybe." Jack nodded and instead of going to do what he had todo he kept staring at me. Jesus, how I hate when people do that. He knew that very well.
"What?" I couldn't stop all the anger from my voice, so it came out with a hint of it.
He shook his head and opened his mouth to say something but right then Danny came and put a pile of paper with a loud thud over the table. "From Elisa's telephone. All the numbers she called in the last three months."
"Wow, she does know a lot of people." I exclamed looking surprised at the amount of papers. Oh my god, how could someone use the phone so much? And, oh my god, it was a LOT of paper. I should find something to do real quick before I was voluntaried to run through her phone numbers.
"Have fun." Danny smirk and quickly turned to walk away and Jack did the same, quiclky going to his office before I could argue with him.
"No way, Danny. I'm already busy." Son of a bitch... he's not going to let me doing all that alone. No way.
"I have leg job to do." He called without turning to look at me.
"Bastard..." I muttered under my breath. Bastard...
"What's the problem?"
I whirled immediately and found myself face to face with Martin. I gave him a big relieved smile and pointed at the papers on thwe table. No way in hell I would be the one to do desk job. "You're supposed to run through these papers. It's the telephones Elisa called in the last three months."
"All this?" He asked with the same surprised face I held little while ago.
"Yup." I nodded and grabbed my empty mug of cofee. "Have fun."
"Hey, you're not making me do this alone." He argued, but hey, wasn't he the one who said he couldn't say no to me? I didn't turn, didn't look at him, just kept on walking and soon I heard him sighing. That small sound made my heart ache and found myself feeling bad for him...
Ok, Samantha, focus. Remember, if you turn you'll see his puppy face and will be soon sitting on that table helping him. You do not want that. That's right, I do not want that. Hell, but since when I do as I'm told?
I turned and there he was, face ready to win me... The men in my life are all a bunch of bastards... I'm so damn lucky...
* * *
I looked away from the TV when the telephone rang, catching my attention. I sighed and cursed whoever it was that was disturbing my TV time. Damn person... "Hello?"
"Hey there."
His voice, lovely as ever, filled my ear and sent a shiver down my body. "Hey." I whispered and I'd be whirling the telephone cord around my finger if it wasn't cordless.
"Whatcha doing?"
"Nothing... Well, I was watching TV but you interrupted me..."
"Ohh, sorry 'bout that." He said in a voice that implied he wasn't at all.
"I'd thank you for that if you were really sorry."
"Ouch Samantha. How can you have such suspicion?"
"Oh, please." I laughed and shifted to find a better position. "I was all happy watching Tv in my bed then you called and interrupted me."
"You're in bed? What are you wearing?"
I chuckled, an affectionate smile settling upon my lips, and wearily tucked a piece of golden hair behind my ear. It was way past my bedtime but without Martin with me I just couldn't find sleep. Or it couldn't find me... I had gotten used to Martin sleeping by my side, hearing his heartbeat and his soft breathing, my head on his chest and his face buried in my hair. I missed that.
"Sorry to disappoint you, Martin" I said in a voice pitched just a touch lower than my usual husky timbre, "But if you're looking for an exciting answer to your question, you've
hit the wrong button on your speed dial."
"You're the only number on my speed dial." I smiled and said nothing, not knowing if he meant that literally or figuratively, but I was pleased regardless. "Yours and the Chinese's." He added after a second of silence. "And believe me, anything you're wearing is much more inspiring than that ridiculous uniform the deliver guy uses."
I laughed and let my hand fall over my eyes to softly rub them and make sure no tears would come out. "All right, just to please you, I'm wearing your red tee shirt."
"Ooooo, you kill me."
"I'm not the only one easy here."
"Only with you." He said smoothly, his voice soft and slow. I missed him.
"And what are you doing?"
"Nothing really. Watching TV too. Nothing good on, though."
"Poor Martin." I chuckled out and heard his own chuckle. "It's past eleven, why don't you just go to bed?"
"Mmm. I know I should, but I can't, my mind refuses to shut down."
"Why? What are you thinking?"
Silence. Then, as if words indeed had been spoken, unbidden, the image of him braced above me, his eyes staring deep into mine, a smile softly playing over his lips as he gently tucked a lock of hair behind me ear and whispered sweet words to me danced before me. I shivered and for a moment, I could almost smell the scent of his skin. Maybe it was just his tee around my body, embracing me as if it was him. I wondered just what picture of me he carried around inside his head.
"Oh."
More silence from him. Or us both. Then he let out a breath and the words came out. "I love you and I miss you."
"Me too." I said back with the voice of a spoiled child, hoping that with that voice the traveling dad would come back earlier. "You've got to move in quickly."
He chukled and I had to chukle too. "You're too needy."
"No, I miss you and you should be flattered."
"Thank you then."
"You're weolcomm...." Just when I was speaking a yawn forced its exit from my mouth, escaping between my lips and ending in Martin's ear. I was getting tired and my eyes were starting to slowly close. Gosh, his voice was lulling me to sleep and I never thought it was possible.
"I should let you go. You're tired."
"Mmmm... I am... but I don't want to let you go."
"You have to. Besides, I'll see you tomorrow morning."
Yeah, tomorrow was Saturday and I'd help him pack his things and he'd finally move in. I felt this big smile spread across my face as I remembered that little fact. "Yeah." Another yawn. "I love you."
"I love you too." He whispered and the line went dead - exept for our breathes - for a second. "Good night."
"Good night." I sighed and hung up. Well, at least now I was tired enough to finally sleep.
* * *