Disclaimer: I own nothingness.

Chapter Eleven: Best Guy Friend

When James got into the bathroom, Lily wasn't there, but there was a box of pads. With wings.

And then in walked Lily, with James' journal in her small, smooth hands. Lily stared at the pads. The pads with wings. And at James.

James slowly breathed in, then out. In, then out. Why am I inhaling and exhaling? I'm acting like a pregnant woman!

"Err…Lily...may I please have that back?"

"No. I want to see what horrible things you write about me and my friends in here."

"What I write is really none of your business. Unless, of course, you care what I think about you…"

"I don't care about you, or what you think of me. I am just mildly curious."

"Nosy, you mean!"

"No. Just inquisitive, Potter."

"What will it take to get you to call me James and not Potter."

"A lot of hard work, Potter."

"This is going nowhere. Lily, please. Give me my book back."

"Hmm. What's in it for me, Potter?"

"If you don't then…" There was a loud silence. James could put nothing against Lily. "Just give it, okay?"

Lily rolled her eyes. Tapped her foot. Wiggled her ears. Pushed her hair behind her hair. And laughed. "Potter, if you love me, you would let me read this."

James was taken aback. He tried to speak, but mouthed words endlessly, like a fish.

Lily sighed. "It's all just fun and games, Potter. Here. Take your stupid book."

"Thank you Lily…"

"Uh huh. Now would it be ok if you left the bathroom, Potter?"

"I'm not asking you to marry me, I'm just asking you to go on first name terms with me."

"I need to use the restroom. Get out."

James scurried away, somewhat relieved.

It had been a month. The journal/stalking was going well. Things were great for James. He even showed Sirius some of his entries.

11:31 pm Saturday

Subject has been cooperating with my efforts. I gave her some novels that I know she takes pleasure in. She seemed to enjoy this act of charity.

However, I am a prick. I am too pushy. A stubborn bull. An arrogant, bullying toerag. I tried too hard. Too fast.

But I have no idea why she's so upset! I kissed her. I didn't even use tongue! I told her I love her, I admitted to her that I knew I am a prick, and then apologized for kissing her! That is how great I am. I am doing everything right, and it's just backfiring in my face!

Lily was having some sleep problems. She was having these dreams. Recurring dreams. And flashbacks.

James turned to her, still smiling. Once he recognized the voice and who it belonged to, his left hand flew to the back of his head to rumple his hair. Lily hated this action; hated how every girl she knew seemed to love it. "All right, Evans?" he said evenly.

"Leave him alone, Potter," she repeated. "What's he ever done to you?"

James seemed to consider this. "It's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean," he replied, beaming, undoubtedly very proud of that remark. People surrounding them laughed, and Lily felt anger surge up in her stomach. How could he be so mean to another person--a person, with feelings and emotions and…and she just didn't understand it at all. At all.

"Leave him alone," she repeated again.

"I will if you go out with me," James responded immediately. "Go on…go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again…"

Lily didn't really believe in hate; she didn't think anyone could ever really hold so enough resentment against someone that they hated them, but at that instant, she disliked James Potter very, very much. "I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid," she hissed, enjoying the flickering of disappointment flitting across James Potter's face, dimming the hazel eyes behind the thin glasses, taking pleasure in his pain…was that hate? No, she convinced herself, no, that was contempt, but not hate. Lily Evans was sure that she did not hate anyone.

Lily muttered James's name. She awoke, found herself on a couch in the Common Room, and to her shock, James was staring at her.

"You said my name!"

"Potter, I did not. Believe me. I hate saying your name."

"I heard you. You were dreaming about me, huh?"

Lily snorted. "Yeah, .. sure, Potter"

"Lily, why don't you call me James?"

Rolling her eyes, she retorted, "James reminds me of jam. Strawberry jam is something I can live without, thanks."

"Stop analyzing my name. Besides, what did you say your last boyfriends name reminded you of?"

"Pumpkins," said Lily thoughtfully.

"Lily, please. All I want is one date. You need not even call it a date! We'll go somewhere as friends. Just friends. Is that ok?"

Lily sighed. "James, if I go on one date, I'll end up loving you. I don't want that."

James, currently in a state of bliss since Lily called him 'James', not 'Potter', asked wistfully, "What's wrong with loving me?"

"You really wouldn't understand, James. I have to go. Goodbye."

James stared after her. As soon as she left, Sirius walked in.

"How my favorite slut doin?"

"Shut up, whore!"

"At least I get paid!"

"At least I get laid!"

"Err…that's nice. So. Saw you talking to Lily. But, well, I don't know how to say this…but…" Sirius paused.

"But vot?"

"She's dating a guy named John Pen."

If James had been drinking something, it would have ended up on Sirius's nose. "WHAT? Is he a Muggle? How do you know?

"He works at a Publishing Agency, Bella told me, he's not muggle. I think you should talk to her about it. You know, Bella told me Lily considers you her best guy friend. Talk to her."

"And vot do I say?"

"Give her some crap, like "If he makes you cry, I will kick his arse. If he borrows money from you and never returns it, I will kick his arse. If he takes advantage of you, I will kick his arse. If he treats you like you're nothing, only you don't realize it because you're blind to his faults, I will kick his arse and slap you across the face to wake you up".

James was yelling at Lily. "He's how old?"

"Calm down, Potter, he's only 25!"

"ONLY 27? You're ONLY 15!"

"So? That's only 10 years! Besides, I need to date someone mature. You wouldn't understand."

James was mad. "Lily, stop insulting my intelligence. Are you implying I am stupid, immature, too young, or all of the above?"

"I'm sorry. None of the above. I just…I know you don't wanna talk about this. You're getting jealous."

"Yes, but my role as best guy friend is to say stuff that you wanna hear."

Lily smiled. If he was an ice cube, he would have melted, and evaporated. "Um, James?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you wanna meet him?"

"Oh. Uh, sure."

A/N: Whoa, what a weird chapter!