The Quibbler
First Edition, Part Two
Irish Quidditch Team Found With Questionable Mammals p.1
Owner of Flourish & Blotts Charged With Having Centaur Servants p.2
Timmy The Troll Astounds Professors p.4
Man Attacked By A Woozle p.6
Quibbler Creature Advice p.7
p. 4
Timmy the Troll Astounds Professors
Trolls are regarded to be the most stupid creatures on earth. They are gross, dumb and couldn't possibly do crosswords.
OR COULD THEY?
Timmy the troll was being tested by wizards the other day in Fulman's Troll Research Center and was found to know the answer to a crossword puzzle.
"I was juts standing there with him and I said to myslef, what's a three letter word for gross?" says Donald Ball, head of the center. "And he answered 'ugh', I was astounded."
The head brought in his other emplyees immediately. They found that Timmy could also say 'grr', 'err' and 'parakeet'.
"This information is extremely helpful," one wizard comments. "This is surly a breakthrough for our center and for the research and understanding for trolls."
p.6
Man Attacked By A Woozle
Billy Crystal was an ordinary man. He went for a walk in the woods and didn't come back. He said he was going for Ice Cream.
BUT WAS HE?
Crystal was reported to be breeding an extremely rare and dangerous breed of Woozle. His wife, Mary comments on his death.
"I never dreamed he was doing such a thing!" she says. "I lost my husband to a Woozle and now I'm a widow. Surly he was under a curse or something. I just don't see him breeding Woozles. I will be reporting that your magazine has inflated his death story and I will make sure it goes down!"
For information of Mary's Hephalump affair, turn to page 9.
p.7
Quibbler Creature Advice
This Month's Creature: Boggarts
To make sure your boggart is healty and happy, be sure to feed it Sugar Quills and Tootsie Rolls.
To make your boggart more comfortable, place a stuffed kitten in his quarters.
To remove your boggart, simply throw it in a large Hefty Bag and place in the trash can.
This has been Melendia Olive Oliva Nika Yunts with Quibbler Creature Advice.
Quibbler Riddle of the Month:
I can be as big as a house,
or as small as a mouse,
I weigh nothing,
yet a thousand men could not lift me.
What am I?
Owl us the answer and you will recieve a pair of Jimi Hendrix's socks.
Quibbler Credits
Reporters: Percy Ronald Oliver Nanson Grunt Stump & Samuel Icachabod Renul Ingnatious Ulbar Scrats
Creature Advice: Melendia Olive Oliva Nika Yunts
Riddles & Games: Paul Ethen Theodore Eric Riggins
Be sure to check out next month's edition.
Hehehehehe a little obvious I think but that's okay. Bad grammar in the troll story was intended. Well, if you know the answer to the riddle go ahead and say it, I already know it (duh) I hope you enjoyed this chapter, REVIEW!!!!
FAQs
You'll see how the Quibbler gets to the Lovegoods.
Also there will be a Fan Mail section in the next one.
And as for Jennifer, it's all up here (taps forehead)
Which reminds me, I have to sleep on some new funny ideas....it would be way eaiser if this were like a school paper, but other people will start reading it too....surprisingly.Anyway, REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW OR YOU'RE NOT GETTING THE NEXT EDITION FOR A MONTH!!! WHAHAHAHA! I could be tomorrow, it's up to you people and wether you keep me happy. :)