Title: Guy Talk
Words: 451
Characters/Pairings: Ron, Harry (implied Ron/Hermione and Harry/Luna)
Challenge: 'American Pie' movie quote used (hopefully you can spot it)
Rating: PG-13
A.N.—it's lame...very lame...everyone is OOC, just a FYI

"Harry, you've...done it, right?"

Harry slowly glanced up from his Transfiguration homework at his red-haired best mate. He blinked in confusion.

"What are you on about, Ron?"

"You've, you know," Ron sat down next to Harry, lowering his voice conspiratorially, "had sex?"

Harry blinked again.

"Yes, Ron, I have had sex," Harry whispered the last word mockingly.

"Shut up, Harry." Ron blushed. "So, have you with Luna yet?"

"Not that's it's much of your business what I do with my girlfriend but, yes, we have," Harry answered.

"How long after you first started dating?"

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Two weeks. Now tell me why the hell you're interrogating me."

Ron blushed even more.

"See, Hermione and I...we've been together for about five months now..." Ron trailed off.

"And?" Harry prompted.

"We haven't...it's not like I haven't WANTED to...but she doesn't...of course I've tried..."

Harry struggled not to grin.

"You haven't slept together yet, after five long months," Harry finished for Ron.

The redhead nodded miserably.

"I mean, I respect that she wanted to wait at first but I've BEEN waiting! For FIVE months, Harry!! Sure, we snog rather enthusiastically but when I get right to the point of my pants about to burst, she always says we should stop, and I always agree because I don't want to pressure her! But I'm a teenage boy! I have needs!! I can't take much more of this torture!!!! Help me, Harry!!"

Harry failed to suppress his laughter this time as Ron's distressed (and very unmanly) ramblings came to an end.

"And how I am supposed to help you, Ron?"

"Teach me how to properly woo Hermione into shagging me!!" Ron answered in a strangled, squeaky voice.

"I don't see that happening, mate." Harry patted Ron's back in comfort. "No offense, but you're just not really my type."

Ron shoved an amused Harry away from him in annoyance.

"Look, Hermione's not going to shag you until she's good and ready. Don't force her into something she'll regret. And," Harry grimaced, "try to remember a Silencing Charm the next time you're self-servicing in the dorms, yeah?"

"You're right. I'll just have to wait. She's worth it," Ron said resignedly.

"Okay then. Are we done here?"

"Yeah," Ron said.

"Good, because I have a date with Luna in the broom closet," Harry grinned wolfishly. "Are we still researching in the library later with Hermione?"

"Yeah," Ron rolled his eyes, "I love her and all, but she never gives up when she has a theory."

Harry slung his book bag over his shoulder, heading towards the door. He paused suddenly and glanced back at Ron, grinning a bit.

"So, I'll see you guys tonight, in the 'No Fucking Section', right?"

Ron glared.