"Limitations of a Fighter"
-------
Removing the golden fish, and casually incapacitating an attacking panda, Ranma went inside and visited the laundry. After a dash of hot water, he located the necessary items. Twisting a metal hanger into a good imitation of a fishhook, he obtained dirty female underwear from the pile of whites. Actually touching them was avoided.
Tying up a sheet as an extension to the hangar, Ranma promptly jumped the whole contraption roofward. He cast out the lure, and shouted "Happosai, Happosai!" This procedure repeated every few minutes.
Eventually a ladder thumped nearby on the roof, and Kasumi joined him. She placed the bowl of miso soup that had been balanced on her head into his waiting hand.
"Whatever are you doing Ranma?"
"Pervert fishing."
Looking down, and noticing the little flying pigs on the garment, Kasumi commented, "I do believe those are Akane's." Suddenly Ranma had a sinking feeling in his stomach, but it didn't stop him from gulping down the Miso.
"Oh Grandfather Happosai..." Kasumi's whisper sounded almost seductive.
Noticing the hanger now dangled empty, Ranma yelled out "Hey old letch, I challenge you for mastership of the Musubetsu Kakuto Ryuu!"
"Sure thing student, I know the place! Meet me at the train station this afternoon." Happosai perched on the Tendo compound wall, examining his catch.
"Well, that's that. I'll take the bowl, and if you'd return the sheet to the laundry, I'd appreciate it." The eldest Tendo headed down the ladder with the empty bowl balanced on her head.
"OK Kasumi."
Jumping down, Ranma put back the sheet and hanger, restoring its previous shape. In the kitchen, he noticed a half-awake Akane finishing breakfast.
"It might not be for the best, but ya might wanna look outside 'Kane."
Blearily, the girl saw Happosai snuggling something on top of the stone wall outside. Squinting, she identified the object, and grabbed the nearest handy thing -- her half finished bowl of Miso.
"You pervert!" Akane sounded displeased. "Those are mine!" Her throw wobbled, but remained on target. Too bad Happosai dodged.
"Catch me if you can Akane-chan! The little pigs really suit you!" Laughing, the pervert bounded merrily away, wearing her unclean underwear like a hat.
Sighing, the girl slumped into her chair. He would be impossible to catch.
"Hey Akane, after I beat the old letch this afternoon, wanna go get some ice cream to celebrate?"
"S-sure Ramna!" Akane accepted the date with amazement.
Glancing back at the breakfast table, Ranma noticed his mother sharing sake with Soun and Genma.
"Oh happy day Genma! Not only will our children become closer, the dread master will finally know defeat!"
"To Grandchildren," proclaimed Nodoka, raising her cup.
"Kanpai!"
--
Hinako excused him two hours into class to prepare for his mastership. Akane gave him a look halfway between a glare and a smile; only the Masters of her Art could judge such a duel. Her father had been almost harsh – telling her she couldn't watch!
Kasumi's touch made her drop the coffee table before it impacted Soun's head. Her eldest sister explained, to Ranma's surprise, how Akane would be a liability. However, Kasumi used phrases like 'Happosai might use your presence to his advantage,' 'I'd be very disappointed if you missed school today,' and 'This is a matter of honor.'
Focusing, Ranma roof hopped to a goal of his journey -- Tanaka-san's Shack o' Sushi. Despite the lunch rush the wait wasn't long. Ordering up, Ranma savored his meal, and then found a quiet bench nearby at Nerima's Bullet Train station. His pre-fight planning was disrupted by cries of 'Hentai!,' 'Emasculation Time!,' and 'Let's get 'em ladies!' Turning, Ranma watched a pack of outraged businesswomen maul Genma and Soun. He respectfully looked away when a smart girl realized high heels doubled as blunt stilettos.
Doing a swift retake, Ranma grit his teeth. Happosai sat two benches down, enjoying the show. The old fellow used a lacy little black number to dry his eyes his student's devotion while appreciating the disheveled female angst. Thankfully a train arrived, and with last parting stabs, the office ladies departed.
--
The private duel took place in the barren countryside, thanks to the transportation system of Japan. Only masters of the school, Genma and Soun, were in attendance (though Soun was using Nabiki's video camera). Both had recovered from earlier. He possessed his father's blessing to use the Forbidden and sealed. "Freely unleash the destructive powers of Thousands of Fists, and worry not about The Master's well being. Oh that we should finally be rid of him!"
Unusually serious, Happosai named the duel terms to be concession or incapacitation. 'How hard could it be after defeating a godling?' thought Ranma, nodding acceptance.
They exchanged blows for ten minutes, demonstrating masterful kata and the adaptability of Musubetsu Kakuto Ryuu. By unspoken agreement, intensity increased.
Ranma used cold ki to diffuse the bombs, and Herb's techniques to control his place in the air after a miniature whirlwind Happosai called the 'Bean Jam Blowout.'
The Old Master projected himself to the size of giant, and Ranma fell into the Umi-sen-ken. The waiting game failed; the giant aura projection disappeared immediately after he did. His senses gave him a 'something is really not right' feeling, and Ranma faded visible, clearly uncomfortable. He identified the problem too late.
Happosai's perverted aura had diffused across their battlefield when he released the projection. Before Ranma could ready the Shooting Star Cloth technique, or improvise a version of the Hiryu Shoten Ha based on perversion vs. uprightness, a huge ki shaped dragon slammed him, breaking his arm and leaving severe ki-burns. By aura diffusion, Happosai reduced the build-up time for the attack to nigh instantaneous. A jagged crack in the ground attested to the technique's power level.
Ranma jumped, throwing the hottest ki he could call at the ground beneath Happosai's feet, and quickly ran around the old man trailing cold ki. Then he called his own dragon's defeat in a roar of outraged air.
Standing on a platform of condensing ki, Happosai waited in the middle of the tornado. When Ranma filled it with vacuum streamers, he calmly shot a ki blast with his feet, using the extra momentum to escape the winds. The vacuum pockets disrupted the internal pressure balance, and the storm became a gentle breeze.
While in mid-air, Happosai 'meowed' and threw a handful of coins, which Ranma wearily dodged. Distracted by this false attack, Happosai closed the distance between them. His defense in physical combat with a broken arm became sloppy, and the old man struck at weakness.
Gasping as his broken arm took a hit, Ranma found himself lying on Happosai's coins. They triggered a Happo-go-en-satsu, draining him.
He still struggled upright, but the grandmaster of his art gestured with his wooden pipe, and Ranma saw blackness.
-----
She woke in the koi pond, shook the fish off, and found herself sparring with her father, marveling her at her healthy body, free of injury.
Mentally going over the fight with Happosai, Ranma realized the old guy always used multiple moves with layered indirection. Grudgingly, the heir of Musubetsu Kakuto Ryuu admitted this level of combat challenged him. Happosai never paused in this mastery duel, uncharacteristically fighting relentlessly. Looking back, he defeated his hardest opponents with clever new moves after a brief pause in combat, not always with the instant shifting of style defining Musubetsu Kakuto Ryuu.
He tried again, and lost to a Bean-Jam-Blowout. The wind-based attack contained ki-guided acupuncture needles that immobilized him with shiatsu. Knocked into the next day again, Ranma missed his date.
More interested in Musubetsu Kakuto Ryuu, than in love Ranma expected Akane could wait. She didn't know of his struggles in the space between moments. His Art compelled him more than a useless cure for his curse; he thought even a successful cure would fail 'tomorrow.' The next level of adaptation -- becoming one with and creating the Art; his heart ached for it. Maybe he needed a new technique?
----
When Akane stamped off after school, Ranma snuck over to the Cat Café.
"Airen!" Shampoo burbled happily, and then pounced. Her tackle remained tentative, light, like Shampoo expected him to be angry. It didn't knock Ranma off his feet. Backing away slightly, and surreptitiously numbing her clingy arms with pressure points, Ranma watched his most amorous fiancée painfully kiss the floor when she couldn't lean against him. Knowing her competence in the Art, Ranma evaluated this plea for attention.
Squatting beside her, and hearing the mumbled 'ouchie,' Ranma whispered, "That was for ruining my wedding, but I'm willing to forgive and forget if ya could do one thing Shampoo."
With a swift rolling body press, Shampoo straddled Ranma's chest and said, "Right here in middle of restaurant? Shampoo no mind!"
Regaining his feet, because Shampoo couldn't use her arms, Ranma leaned down, whispering what he wanted.
With her nod, he unparalyzed her arms, and disappeared with the Way of the Silent Thief. He promised his father never to use the forbidden technique in fights; the old Panda actually encouraged him in perfecting the deadliest branch of the Saotome school. Later, Genma revised Ranma's promise to 'fights with other humans.' This mysterious attitude puzzled him, and when asked about the origins of the Thousands of Fists, Genma answered: "Sometimes it is best to let sleeping demons dream."
Three hours later, after the restaurant's dinner rush, Shampoo and Cologne emerged into twilight.
The ancient crone told the young woman "Great-grand daughter you don't have the control to attempt this technique, but if it will encourage your studies in our Art, I see no harm in a brief show. Remember, though, no pained complaints tomorrow."
Nodding, Shampoo assumed a defensive Wu Shu stance, and summoned a silver-gilded bo staff. Secretly, the younger Amazon hoped the added reach would make a difference.
"Very well; Defend!!" Cologne's shout echoed through the empty area, and before it died, the old woman became a circle of five.
It lasted four seconds. Ranma realized Shampoo had gotten faster; managing to disrupt three of Cologne's images with a dexterous staff combination impressed him. Akane and Ukyo couldn't do that! Of course, over-committing allowed the real Cologne a free shot. The silvery staff broke, and Shampoo plowed a long furrow in the sandy ground. . . . with her nose. 'That's gonna bruise,' thought Ranma, vanishing toward the Tendo compound and Kasumi's beef bowl.
After twelve days of watching, Ranma understood. Agreeing to forgive Shampoo over the wedding and 'date with her three times next week if she mentions this promise' arranged a demonstration of the Splitting Cat Hairs.
He would never realize Cologne had deliberately spoken in Japanese for the lessons. Didn't she always speak like that around him?
Splitting Cat Hairs required no new physical training, merely delicate control of one's own energies. Ranma thought of it like folding a piece of paper a new way; the blank, neutral surface was always available, but who knew what strange origami could arise?
When he used it on Happosai, the old man took a drag off his pipe, and blew smoke, easily distinguishing the real Ranma. Then the old letch beat him with itching powder, of all things.
-
The next day, Ranma realized the folly of Splitting Cat Hairs: Happosai's smokescreen allowed the old letch to ready the powder! Applying it with a Bean Jam Blowout followed naturally in sequence. Very effective, thought Ranma in annoyed admiration, applying calamine lotion. (Akane had cancelled the date, not wanting to be infected.)
---
"Ugh." Muttered Ranma intelligently as Akane embedded her head in the furo wall. Charging into the furo after the 'one-punch-instant-panda' finisher had not been a good variation in routine, but part of Ranma's mind thought she itched.
Walking out, Akane toweled off quickly and added, "If two days ago really happened, it would have been all right, you know."
Brushing mortar off her face, Ranma sighed. "I know." She whispered to a closed door, thinking perhaps today would be Happosai's downfall.
-------
Soon a month passed, and while Ranma better understood his own ki, he was no closer to defeating Happosai, and his fiancée situation remained unsolved (though he was partial to Akane). The perverted gnome broke Ranma's concentration (usually by meowing), and then used the opening to finish their duel.
If Ranma remained awake until 3am, his skin tingled, oddly like the curse. She then found herself refreshed, and in the koi pond in the company of her faithful fish.
No matter where he was: diving along the bottom of Tokyo Bay, having a conversation in a trendy nightclub, or miles above the ocean on a plane to America, whenever it became 3am in Nerima, Japan. . . . he became a she with a koi on her head in the Tendo yard. With no sleep the 'night' before, he was mentally tired but physically fine.
Finally, putting challenge in the Art aside, Ranma asked Akane out and followed through. During the past month, he learned the stress of his engagements hindered him at the highest levels of internal energy manipulation. Resolving the engagements might lift a barrier upon his inner self, and failing that, he knew matching Happosai required magnitudes of ki control greater than he possessed. While he couldn't increase absolute ki levels, or become physically stronger, Ranma could and would learn superior control.
So each repetition, on their way to school, the following conversation took place:
"Um Akane, about yesterday..."
"Yes," she said icily, thinking 'Tell me how you feel!'
"I'd like to talk tonight, but away from our parents. If that's Ok with you?" After the first few times his hopeful tone would change into a confident one.
"It's Ok." She always said, sometimes guarded, sometimes relieved, sometimes expectant.
"Then it's a date." He finished their conversation, for with this statement she blushed and proceeded to take poor notes at school.
-----
Before ki practice, Ranma sought out Nabiki at precisely two hours and thirty six minutes before his date. Right after she finished her financial bookkeeping, and before she started reading her perverted magazines and wanted privacy.
"Nabiki Tendo, I challenge you to game of questions, continuing until one of us concedes in defeat!"
"Saotome, I accept!" Nabiki sounded as delighted as a kitten who felt a butterfly land on its nose. Such a wonderful new diversion, and it even came to her! Then she named terms, and smiled upon his acceptance.
"Who do you really love?" Began Nabiki, pulling no punches.
"My mother. " Her opening gambit never varied. "Why did you destroy my wedding?"
"Because Akane isn't ready to be married." That answer baffled him, and he always studied Nabiki as she gave it. The middle Tendo held an almost caring expression on her face, and Ranma wondered at its significance.
"Why do you enjoy turning into a girl?" This simple question took two weeks to pass.
"It means I don't have to be a man anymore." If he denied he enjoyed it, she demonstrated how he did using examples from his life and won. Hearing her own perfect answer intrigued Nabiki.
"When you switched the engagement to yourself, what was your deepest motivation?"
Not hesitating, Nabiki replied "To teach Akane a lesson in love. . . . Now, who taught you this game, Ranma?" She always asked before the seventh question, impressed by his intelligence.
"Nabiki Tendo coached me." That one didn't even cost 5000 yen! "What do I need to know to understand Akane?"
"How she feels." Nabiki's answer never changed, though his phrasing of the question did. "What is it like to make love to a woman?"
"I don't know." His flushed response amused her. If he wasn't making her uncomfortable, she enjoyed his embarrassment. "In your professional opinion, as a student of human nature, which girl would make me the happiest if I married her?" This was his third attempt at a correct phrasing.
Stretching lazily, Nabiki drawled "Your ideal woman." Going for the win, she returned, "Same question, back at you, answer with a real person only."
Reeling from the masterful logic and innuendo, Ranma conceded (again). "You win. Provided tomorrow really is the day school resumes as normal, I'll do whatever you say this weekend."
Smirking, he continued, "If I give you 5000 yen, will you tell me the right answer?"
Always gracious in victory, Nabiki took his cash. Eventually, Ranma lost count of the times this happened, and he cringed if she explained the question had no answer. Using Nabiki's mind against her became an iterative process; she easily overmastered him in the vocal battleground.
This game continued on and off during endless days, and while Nabiki rarely solved his problems, he began enjoying their banter. However slowly, it taught the intricacies of thought.
-----
"Oh, Akane, you look beautiful," gushed Kasumi, who secretly thought she could do better.
"Way to go sister!" Approved Nabiki, who had paid for the salon.
Akane wore a startling blue strapless evening dress, and Ranma felt nervous in his rented Tux.
They took a taxi to a delicate home-style place called the 'First Taste of Spring.' The atmosphere was like a cozy hot spring, relaxed with care and love. White candles burned at each table, with the higher lights dimmed.
Their evening was perfect, the setting romantic. Both were nervous, and conversation proceeded at a stuttering pace. Tonight cost a fortune, but he'd never pay Nabiki back. Awkwardness dominated.
Inevitably, a waitress tripped, and sent cold, refreshing drink into the air. Akane looked relieved at this back luck. She fumed, "Baka, bad enough you're a girl, but it spilled over both of us! This date is over, and it's all your fault!"
-
Later, Ranma tried this evening again. With more experience he noticed Akane was too nervous to enjoy herself, no matter what happened at the First Taste of Spring.
-----
"Ok, Nabiki, next question: name a suitable place for the perfect date."
"How about food with a band of roving thespians." Noticing his reaction, her question cinched it. "What's the difference between a roving thespian and a raging lesbian, Saotome?"
"Um. . . . aren't they both players?"
"I win Saotome, was there ever any doubt?"
-----
Well what about dinner theater? Nabiki usually had good ideas. Akane radiated happiness when Ranma announced they were attending a production of "1001 Arabian Nights."
Wearing normal, casual clothing, they took the train downtown to a place called "Tours of Marvelous Worlds." The ride entailed much fidgeting, and a quick trip to the restroom to return male.
When Ranma and Akane arrived in twilight, a cheerful waitress led them to a corner alcove with a small yellow ceramic coffee table. No chairs, just the traditional Japanese sitting on one's heels on brightly colored harem pillows with lacy gold trim.
Akane looked relaxed, and she engaged him in meaningless conversation about the play, impressed with the décor and menu. His amiable grunts satisfied her.
Ranma relaxed and asked about their not-wedding. "So 'Kane, what do you think about what, er, almost happened two days ago; please, hold nothing back."
She obliged: "Moron, why did you let them ruin everything?!" Enraged at a rush of sensitive bad memories, Akane broke the ceramic table over his head. Applause greeted the impromptu show, and blushing, Akane bowed and exited, stage left.
-
Ranma found Akane enjoyed the play if he didn't press her. Tired by the evening's end, she ignored questions, and pleasantly fell asleep on his shoulder during their train home. He could stroke her cheek wistfully then, and she'd snuggle closer. Unable to unburden his heart during this best outcome, he moved on.
-----
Ranma had not forgotten Happosai, but wanted personal focus. After telling Akane how he felt, he hoped his own answer might be echoed. Seeking dating expertise, he returned to Nabiki.
"What's a good place for a date not involving tables?" Heavy surfaces ended the evening too often, usually by shattering over his head.
Incredulously, the middle Tendo rattled off a dozen good suggestions. Then she won by asking him to explain what a 'rimjob' was.
----
"A romantic dinner picnic in the park?"
Seeing his nod, Akane smiled, spacing out. "Don't worry, I'll make us a wonderful meal!"
Groaning, Ranma foresaw doom.
Two hours later he could hear Akane yelling her cooking mantra: "Don't burn! Auuggh! Don't burn!" She wasn't making curry, her one, non-toxic dish.
Predictably, she left a park's trashcan broken over his head, which wasn't painful. The potato salad he'd hidden inside had already dissolved the bottom and was burbling happily on a bare patch of soil. His tomboy had gotten into the drain cleaner again. Idly, as he twisted the metal rim apart with his fingers, he wondered if Nabiki would have accepted an alternate explanation.
Edging away from the salad, which was oozing into a nest of ants, Ramna pondered. Acceptable dates like swimming, dancing, sporting events, and the romantic boat ride violated the tomboy clumsiness factor. Akane's jealousy came forward when he outperformed her in physical tasks. He couldn't help being better, his love should accept him for what he was, not try to compete and be a sore loser.
Inevitably disaster struck on physical dates, and Ranma went on many, getting used to having a good time by himself when Akane huffed off. Here Ranma understood he could live a satisfying life without Akane, but he didn't yet want to.
Highly populated Japan's infestation of semi-formal restaurants became the next avenue to explore. Sitting still all evening gave a couple time to focus on each other.
----
"If I can't say the right thing, what should I do?" Tired of having his words twisted, Ranma now understood the tomboy couldn't admit her feelings to herself. In their latest casual dinner, the waitress lewdly told them she'd be open to a threesome. Akane had gone ballistic.
Nabiki, surprised a blushing Ranma had known, answered: "Don't say anything at all." Pausing, she added to Ranma's dread: "How often do you 'massage' yourself?"
----
A silent, expensive meal? "If you're taking me to dinner, you could say something!! Jerk." Akane left him with the bill, and merely went home.
Sighing, Ranma wondered if the spitfire known as 'Akane Tendo' was worth the trouble. He remembered saving her from princes and mythical creatures, but more importantly, he remembered her asking for friendship on they day they met, and stroking her cheek wistfully as she slept on a train ride home.
For now she was worth it. Too much history and words unsaid.
----
". . . .that often Saotome? Ok, your turn."
"What are good topics for small talk?" Nabiki rolled her eyes, stopping at thirty subjects or so. She idly wondered if Ranma could become redder. "So do you like it more as girl or a guy?" This tape was going to make her a fortune!
----
Ranma put forth tremendous effort not to rile Akane during their dinner dates. Hinako had helped with his Japanese so he no longer sounded like an uncultured rube.
They talked.
Conversations revolved around weather, the insanity the Kuno clan, Akane's brilliance in school (compared to him), and their adventures together. Akane liked to talk about herself. He let her lead during dinner, hoping to find the right moment, the right time, to discover what they meant to each other.
But that moment never came.
While Akane relaxed when she opened up, she still distrusted him.
He needed another activity after dinner, one to emotionally ready Akane for serious discussion, while not giving Jusenkyo much opportunity. His curse could not activate, it reminded Akane he was a pervert. She thought a romantic date with another girl, regardless of form, left much to be desired.
-----
Dancing failed; he couldn't help laughing at Akane's clumsiness, and after a relaxed dinner, his joking about a sensitive issue made her run off crying. Afterwards he felt like total shit.
"Try a movie." Advised Nabiki.
His turn again. "So how often do ya play the piano, pet the c-cat, tend the garden, hit the chit, turn the knob, exercise your fingers, put the mop in the bucket, wink wink nudge nudge Nabiki?" Payback time.
"Why Saotome, you know I avoid normal household chores, and we don't have any pets. If you're asking something else, you'll have to be explicit." Nabiki watched his face redden with delight.
-----
Finding a movie proved impossible. Soda splashes didn't help, regularly ruining his work. If Akane felt mellow enough to offer, Genma and Soun ruined the kiss-at-the-door.
Akane absolutely hated movies her sisters picked. Kasumi's thing for medical drama left her disgusted, and Nabiki's cerebral flicks put her to sleep. They both liked anime, which she thought childish.
Desperately, he tried other genres. The raunchy comedies had sexual overtones, and he couldn't even laugh without triggering the 'Ranma is a pervert' response. One try eliminated NC-17, leaving a slap imprint he swore lingered next morning. While they both liked action flicks, afterwards Akane wanted to spar, not talk relationships.
In despair, he asked his grandchild-crazed mother. She told him females wanted romance, and to pick a romantic movie. But he hated those!
"Simple?" Concluded Nodoka, amused her son hadn't considered the obvious.
"Simple." Ranma nodded, remembering a phrase from his best friend. Keep It Simply Sweetie, like Ucchan said. Why she tended to pucker her lips after that bit o' wisdom, he didn't know.
-----
He lost count of the days, but he found his perfect moment.
Ranma ate heartily, and spent dinner staring at Akane's face, never sneaking a glimpse of her cleavage. In conversation, Ranma stopped himself frequently; like he knew what he might say would cause catastrophe. She relaxed progressively as the date continued, talking about herself and finding the hesitant responses endearing. After "The Titanic," Ranma took her for a walk, and found a romantic shrine illuminated with dim lanterns.
First he made a heartfelt offering to the kami about their future happiness. Akane looked at him wonderingly, stunned. Ranma said exactly the right thing!
Then, in the muted cloudy night, he looked into her eyes, and spoke seriously: "Akane, what exactly are your feelings about what happened at Jusendo?"
Akane smiled vulnerably, recognizing this pivotal moment of their evening, and perhaps, their relationship.
"Ranma, you mean a lot to me, but I don't think I'm ready for marriage yet. If our wedding had happened I wouldn't have minded, but please don't choose another girl. If you propose to me, after we both graduate, I'll. . . . I will say yes."
Right after her answer, the clouds burst and two girls hurried home in the rain.
-----
Knowing his girl's heart now, Ranma wanted a little fun. He asked Kasumi to help out, a mistake he made before.
-
Marveling at Akane's beauty, Ranma knew this date would never happen. Kasumi gave her sister the works: elaborate French coif hairstyle, 'vamp me now' slinky red dress, and tasteful earrings with matching high heels. Akane was so nervous she couldn't walk right.
Normally, he gave the homemaking Tendo a small box of bon-bons and the latest issues of 'Home and Garden' and 'Cosmopolitan.' Then she retreated to her room and locked the door, only emerging to quickly hash together dinner. Stopping Kasumi was imperative; if the eldest Tendo touched his tomboy, she couldn't handle the elegance.
Knowing disaster was inevitable felt liberating. After jousting with Nabiki until she started physically squirming, Ranma laughed.
When they were five feet out the door, he turned to his date and asked, "Did you have a good time that trip?"
As she turned in puzzlement, her heel caught a pebble, and with a mighty windmilling of arms, Akane caught herself with her hands. "What, Ranma?" Having devoted her concentration to walking with one inch heels, his radiant girl missed his stupid comment.
"I'll ask ya next fall." She was due in another thirty yards.
Thinking he'd been romantic, she blushed, and accepted his offered supporting arm.
Right on schedule came the neighbor's dog Bess barreling at them and yowling. Akane's perfume drove the poor canine wild, and this time they fell together. Ranma maneuvered so he was basically trapped under Akane; it felt sort of nice.
With a camel-like back-kick, Bess was dislodged from Akane's personal space until splashdown in the Tendo koi pond.
"So did you have a good time this trip?"
Putting out a flickering, out of control battle aura, Akane yelled "Ranma no Hentai!" and proceeded to miss with a point blank haymaker. Before giving chase, she wiped off her leg.
Pretty soon Bess, Soun (yelling about his daughter's happiness), Happosai, Mousse (his head made a good spring-board), both Kunos, Tsubasa, and a small Tanuki joined the chase.
Mentally counting down while on the run, with zero came a screeching of wheels and the demise of an innocent lamppost. Grinning madly, Ranma looked back at Akane's faceplant in the middle of the street and yelled while running backwards "You clumsy Tomboy, you can't avoid the car accident no matter what happens, can you?"
Like the very beginning, he never saw the Panda with the street sign.
More durable now, Ranma retained consciousness. With a retaliatory ki-wave, he flung Genma into the sunset, and laughed, leading his strange menagerie on a wild chase into the starry evening twilight.
-----
Six hours of work meant he could ask Akane one serious question, and get an honest answer. He thought of his completed date with Akane like an elaborate kata. He named the technique 'Perfect Scarlet Dewdrop.' You could only watch a dewdrop catch the light if you let it fall on its own, no matter how perfect your preparation.
"Why do you can't you control your temper and not hit me?" The question bothered him most. When Ranma became serious about knowing Akane's feelings, nothing incensed him more than taking a table to the face while being polite!
Akane considered him a better martial artist, (and an idiot) and she thought whenever he did something warranting a beatin', he meant she was inferior. As an idiot he continued on clueless, but because he was a better martial artist she thought he must allow the hits, and therefore deserved punishment.
Akane accepted his curse enough to be curious about two girls together, but suffered intense childhood teasing. This meant she'd never feel comfortable publicly dating a woman and was insecure romantically. Trusting people was harder since her mother died (a deeply disturbing experience), and she lived in a world where Ranma (her Romeo) always rescued her. And if he didn't, she felt sure that she'd fight her own way out.
Deep, deep down Akane thought she was in love with him.
-----
To his surprise, Nabiki no longer intimidated him. While their conversations could last hours now, her secretiveness during late afternoon bothered him. Nabiki expected privacy during her 'breathlessly quality time,' aroused his curiosity. According to his friendly tormenter it involved the manga that made him turn 'such an interesting shade of red.'
Today this mystery would be solved.
Nabiki's door was locked, and a J-pop band played softly in the background.
Undeterred, Ranma gained the roof, and expertly balanced on the edge, looking upside down at Nabiki's window. Her drapes were shut, and the window locked.
About to knock on the glass, Ranma noticed the curtains had imperfectly closed. A small gap, but there if you pressed your face against the window, and squinted hard for a peek.
Nabiki Tendo lay half naked on her bed next to her underwear, with her manga conveniently perched on her chest. She was wearing only a thick white bra, and had both hands between her legs. They moved in time to the music, and an expressed of bliss adorned her face.
Shocked, Ranma actually lost his balance and fell off the roof, guiltily trying to forget.
He really tried, knowing Akane would call him a pervert for sure! To his amazement, the picture disappeared from his mind. As this was Ranma's goal, he never suspected why this feat came so easily.
Not remembering why, Ranma decided to believe Nabiki's 'you don't want to know details' when referring to her private time.
-----
Constricted by looming obligations, Ranma had another talk with his mother. While his inner energies had become much more harmonized in settling his heart about Akane, he felt lost about what to do about his other potential wives.
"My son," beamed Nodoka, "you are very manly to understand 'your tomboy' so well! However before choosing, learn about the others who would be your wife. It isn't fair if you forgive Akane her faults, merely because she is now closest to your heart. Could you love Ukyo, or Shampoo? What most makes a marriage work, something your father taught me by omission, is when a couple can grow together in their everyday lives. How does Akane see your future with her? Remember you can take mistresses."
He asked Akane this, and found she saw herself as a renowned actress, a brilliant career woman, or a world class Olympic athlete. Never did she picture herself as a housewife, and she insisted their dojo would be the Tendo-Saotome dojo, whatever her vocation.
----
The next morning, as Ranma affectionately removed the fish from her head, she stood tall. With maximum volume she yelled, "Enough of this emotional crap. . . . today I kick Happosai's ass!!!!"
He knew Akane's heart, and Hinako-sensei had recently pronounced him truly fit to be in his grade-level at school. Ranma thought it fitting to defeat the letch while he still had his curse, sort of a revenge for his female side. Afterwards though, Jusenkyo had to go.
"Stupid boy, don't let your growf, grof growf!!!" Genma cheered Ranma on.
"Hotcha!" Came the mutter from between her breasts.
They met on the challenge field, a terraced field that had lain fallow since the Japanese economy collapsed.
Ranma was ready. . . . for the past year he devoted the mornings to learning with mind, and the afternoons to precision ki control. Then it was Perfect Scarlet Dewdrop (and open-eye meditation), or talk with Nabiki, and sleep.
Every two weeks, he added another energy manipulation to his style. Much time and mental retraining had been necessary to release ki from anywhere on his body. Such ability held great appeal, for it added another counter-strike for every submission hold.
Advanced kata dances began the duel; neither expected a hit, but they were a good warm-up. Five minutes in, whenever Ranma threw a punch, a small ball of ki shot at Happosai from his foot, his knee, his nose. Whenever he kicked, it came from his elbow, his stomach, his wrist.
The first few gave the old man pause, but then he continued the kata dance with a comment. "The Light of Scampering Stars, I didn't realize you'd studied under the mystics of Arizona m'boy. However, even the Pueblo Shamans feared this one: I Am The Void, and The Void is Me!"
Ranma now noticed Happosai had changed his aura, so only certain types of ki could enter and exit, from the physics books Hinako-sensei suggested, it seemed Happosai selectively polarized his aura. In test, Ramna varied the intensity and emotion driving each blast, and he found some easier for the old man to deflect.
As Ranma was about to try hitting the little troll's shield with two blasts in one spot, Happi jumped back while flaring his aura. Suddenly Ranma beheld a huge ten foot ki-ovoid shooting towards him. He understood the bursts appearing to hit Happosai had been harvested for power.
He caught the multi-colored ovoid, briefly held it, and used the conflicting emotions inside the blast to fire a horizontal Hi Ryu Shoten Ha at the old freak, who jumped out of the way and pulled out his bombs.
Ramna released a sinuous rope of cold ki that followed Happosai in the air and encircled him, preventing his fuses from being lit. Then he rushed to where the old guy landed, and performed the Splitting Cat Hairs.
When Happosai reached for his pipe, it was frozen solid. Frowning, Happi flared his aura into gigantic proportions, forcing Ranma to drop his phantom images where their kis clashed.
The Umisenken forced Happosai to drop his huge battle aura. This time when Happosai's cloud of perverted ki formed to reveal his hiding place, Ranma dropped his father's technique, and retaliated with a dozen translucent ki-boomerangs. They disrupted the gigantic ki-dragon before it could form.
Unsurprisingly, the old master dodged the boomerangs, both on their way toward him, and when they turned around and headed back for Ranma glowing brightly. And Ranma Saotome grimaced when the boomerangs returned, and he reabsorbed the energies they had collected. Happosai's energies.
Desperate to rid himself of the sexually charged ki before it could infect his judgment, Ranma released it in a huge purple flare. Happosai gleefully leapt into the ki-mass. The old pervert's speed quadrupled, and Ranma honestly couldn't tell what happened as blackness fell.
----
As she mentally reviewed the fight, Ranma realized she had essentially refined and purified the power Happosai foiled the Umi-sen-ken with. It had supercharged the old perv, who struck multiple vital spots in a fraction of a second, far faster than Amaguriken levels. Such a burst of speed, she knew, could never be accomplished merely using the ki inside your own body.
When the fish jumped off her head, Ranma realized she was sitting in the middle of the koi, and reflexively knocked out Genma.
She challenged Happosai again, and found avoiding her own boomerangs set Happi up for the itching powder.
Depressed at defeat, she applied the last of Kasumi's Benodryll and wandered past the living area. Nabiki and Akane watched the fight on TV, but saw only blurs. One larger blur seemed to toss a multi-colored stream of glowing tendrils at the smaller blur. That the camera was slightly out of focus didn't help.
The middle Tendo scowled at him, but said nothing. Nabiki expected the VCR tape to be this way, which was why she hadn't insisted on going. From previous experience, she knew Ranma moved faster than the camera's frame-capture rate, faster than even her trained eyes could follow.
"What that large thing on the bottom?" Inquired Ranma, thinking 'future terrain advantage.' He didn't remember anything like it at the challenge field.
"Daddy's thumb." Nabiki sounded exasperated, even forgoing her usually '500 yen for stupid questions' policy.
Akane ignored him, mad about the fight and their lack of date. She knew where the itching powder had come from: Kodachi shared after Happosai raided the girls' underwear too many times. What the gymnast had failed to mention was that washing the clothes didn't get rid of it! Ukyo and her had walked funny for a week, not to mention the powder didn't bother the ancient perv! That stuff was nasty. While internally she felt sorry for Ranma, outwardly, Akane gave him a laser-like stare of accusation.
Feeling uncomfortable, Ranma went into the kitchen, surprising Kasumi just as she was coming out with a tray of iced lemonade. With a snort of disgust, Ranma-chan left the house with an unnoticed lemon slice sticking in her hair.
A nearby panda playing shogi liberated it as Ranma stomped off, and added it to flavor his drink. While the panda's attention wandered, Soun slid pieces onto his side of the game-board, not realizing Genma had slipped him ones of the wrong color.
The Giant Panda growphed in satisfaction while sipping lemon-flavored water, and held up a sign stating, "I win Tendo!" Then the Panda noticed how much its tongue itched, and whimpered.
Ranma spent the remainder of the day wandering, meditating upon her life and failures. The conclusion reached, was exploring Sasuke's advice. One limit of her strange situation remained untested.
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Next: Faces of Life and Death
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Author's question: do the humorous/serious-alternating scenes add or detract from the story's mood and impact? (Why?)