Where are you now?
Rogue went into her room and turned on her CD player. Inside was Britney Spears album Oops I did it again, named after the hit song. Rogue groaned, she never liked Britney Spears and wondered how it got into her CD player, she then remembered that she barrowed it from Jubilee.
She grabbed the case next to the stereo and turned it over, looked at the song selection. She turns the track to number nine. She listened to the song. It had been three days since she left the man she loved in Antarctica. Now she was angry, confused and sad. Looking back at the past two days she never felt so alone.
Her world was falling apart, but if she went back to get Remy, it would go against the whole reason she left him there. She did it to prove that she was mad at him for shutting out his past.
She walked over to the balcony and looked at the night sky. She listened to the song that was playing.
Calling out your nameYour face is everywhere
I'm reaching out to you
To find that your not there
I wake up every night
To see the state I'm in
It's like an endless fight
I never seem to win
Rogue felt tears roll down her cheeks. She was the one who cause this hurt. Rogue pressed the pause button and paused the CD player and fell on her bed. Crying until a restless sleep closed in.
The next morning she felt terrible. Her eyes were sore and red. Her shoulder and back were sore from tossing and turning in her sleep.
Rogue looked out her door that led to her balcony. It was a cloudy day to match her mood. She walked down stairs, avoiding greetings from the other X-men.
She walked into the Kitchen. She went to the cupboard and took out a bowl and then moved to another cupboard. From this cupboard she took out a box of honey nut cheerios. Rogue put the bowl and cereal on the table and went to the fridge and took out the milk, on the way back she grabbed a spoon.
Next to the table was a radio, Rogue turned it on and fiddled with the tuning knob until she found her favorite station before sitting down. The song that was playing was same on in her CD player, Where are you now. by Britney Spears it was in the middle of the song.
I can't go on as long as I believeCan't let it go when
I keep wondering
Chorus:
Where are you now?
What have you found?
Where is your heart?
When I'm not around?
Where are you now?
You gotta let me know
Oh baby so I can let you go.
After finishing her breakfast, Rogue went back upstairs and tried to relax and picked up her teddy bear. When she was little, she would have done anything for a teddy bear. Mystique her foster mother never believed in such a novelties. She told Remy on a certain trip to the mall, they were in front of a build a bear workshop. Remy eagerly pulled her into the store and after that told her to pick one. They built a bear and put two hearts in it for both of them. They named it Mr. Wallace.
Tears started coming, Rogue threw Mr. Wallace into the corner. She got up and walked over to the CD player and pushed play. She sat on her bed and listened to music as it drifted around the room.
I can hear your voice
The ring of yesterday
It seems so close to me
But yet so far away
I should let it out
To save what's left of me
And close the doors of doubt
Revive my dignity
But I can't go on, as long I believe
Can't let go when
I keep wondering.
Rogue couldn't stand it; she had to get Remy back. Rogue knew getting him back would just go against the reason she left him there. She wanted to that did not tolerate being lied too. Rogue got from the sitting position and paused the Music. She went out her room and walked across to Remy's room and opened the closet, for some strange reason she needed something warmer. He had lots of sweatshirts; she found an old gray one with a hood. Rogue went back to her room She un-paused the music and lied down on her bed. She was emotionally tired. She closed her eyes and listened to the music.
Where are you nowWhat have you found?
Where is your heart?
When I'm not around
Where are you now?
You gotta let me know
Oh baby so I can let you go
I should let it out
It's time to let you go
Oh baby I just wanted to Know.
Rogue sat up and knew that she couldn't let Remy go. She should have never left him in the first place. She forgave him for lying to him. What good is being in love with someone if you can't forgive one another? It had been four days since she left Remy in Antarctica maybe he was still alive.
Rogue grabbed a blanket and ran down the stairs. At the hall closet she grabbed her warmest coat and Remy's coat and hurried into the living room, where Ororo, Kurt, Logan and Hank were playing scrabble, Scott and Jean were watching the news in the other room.
Rogue ran into the living room, "Ororo, Ah'm going to get Remy, Ah was wonderin' if anybody wanted to come?" she exclaimed, everyone at the table got up, the game forgotten.
Beast said "it was too bad I was getting my tail whipped by Logan, and I finally had a word that would bring me into the lead."
Rogue raised an eyebrow and looked at Logan and Hank.
"What" Logan said " I got a lotta little words and Hank only had vowels."
Hank groaned "yes I got all vowels for the life of me I couldn't think of a word." Rogue pushed the group out quietly.
She didn't want to disturb Scott. She knew Jean probably knew what she was doing. But Rogue also knew she wouldn't
Usually Rogue would pilot the Blackbird but today she let Logan and Ororo fly. The flight to Antarctica was long and tiresome for Rogue, when the plane finally landed she was the first out. They fanned out all, Rogue could thing about was the song. The song, the only thing she heard on the radio. The chorus was ringing in her head like a broken record.
Where are you now
What have you found
Where is your heart?
When I'm not around
Where are you now?
You gotta let know
Oh baby, so I can let you go
Rogue did not want to let him go. She wanted him back. Then She saw a figure lying in the snow.
Rogue picked her speed, touched her communicator "Ororo I found him!!" She screamed into it.
Rogue landed beside the figure and thought urgently please don't be dead. She bent over the very cold and stiff body, then turned it onto it's back. It was Remy; she had always loved his face. His eyes were blazing red and mysterious, his smile was cocky.
Rogue said with a desperate voice "Remy! Ah'm so sorry please don't go."
She bent over his chest and laid her ear over his heart. There was a faint heartbeat. She scooped the lifeless body into her strong arms and flew back to the plane.
The next day was the hardest in Rogue's life. Hank did good work to make sure that Remy survived, Rogue never left his side. Scott chastised her for taking out the 'bird without permission. She was punished by full maintenance on the blackbird. She didn't care, she was happy to have Remy back.
One day Rogue was sitting in Remy's room, he was still asleep. He hadn't wakened up since they brought him home. Hank said it could be possible that he may never wake up. If that did happen then Rogue will stay in his room.
She grasped Remy's hand and whispered, "Remy Ah'm sorry, Ah didn't know what I was doing. Ah can't bear the thought of losing you now I will.
Just then Logan came in and asked "hey kid, how you doin'?" He knew it was a silly question because he could see the tears running down her pale cheeks. He was an old friend, when she joined the team, he was the first person to give her his powers with no questions asked, no looking back at what could happen. She admired him ever since and now he was much more like an older brother or a father to her.
"Ah'm okay Logan, how about you?" She responded in a quiet voice, tears still falling out of her eyes. She tried to smile but this caused more tears to fall. Logan walked over and sat down.
Logan answered, "I'm okay, I've kinda missed you last night, we played monopoly and the Elf won, It was weird that we didn't have our champ playing with us."
Rogue laughed at this, then sobered, saying in a sad, confused voice. "Logan, do you think a made a horrible mistake bringin' him back, sending him there in the first place. What if he never wakes up? I couldn't bear that." The tears that she thought she controlled now spilled over again. Logan reached out and she went into his arms. She needed something solid right now. She wished it was Remy instead of Logan, but she happy someone could comfort her.
"Hey Stripes, It will be okay, Darlin' it will be okay. Gumbo's a fighter; he won't give up. If he does die which seems unlikely, you will have to go on. Remy would want that for you. So if you ever control your powers, he would want you to fall in love with someone, to experience true love. Hey darling' if you need someone to talk to, talk to Ororo or Jean or Me. I need to go do something right now though, I'll be back to check on you later Okay?" He said.
Rogue nodded and pulled away. She wiped away her tears and gave a watery smile. "Thanks Logan thanks so much. "she said
He smiled and responded "no problem, Darlin'"
With that said he got up and walked out. Rogue bent down and stared at his sleeping form. She wanted to kiss him but knew her powers were dangerous. They were able to people in to comas, but what happened if they are in a coma. What if she could bring him out of it.
Remy was darkness. He at on point he could hear Rogue's voice but now he couldn't, she was apologizing. He could tell her heart was breaking; he wanted to comfort her, to tell her everything was all right. But at the same time he didn't want to leave the calming darkness. He felt her holding his hand, as if to be an anchor for him. To keep him on the world, to bring him back to the light. He wanted to join her and hold her close but the darkness was closing in.
Rogue leaned down getting closer and closer. Part of her Mind shouted all the possibilities of what might happen to her. She might end up in a coma. She may never see Remy's mysterious eyes. Then the other of her mind was screaming to kiss him. She leaned in and could feel Remy's shallow breath on her face. She closed her eyes and very gently kissed him.
Remy heard something in the darkness. Then out of nowhere Rogue walked, she was surrounded by light. So he could see her beautiful features and emerald green eyes as clear as day.
She looked lost and scared, when she saw Remy, she smiled and exclaimed "Remy Ah was so scared Ah lost you" She ran toward him. He ran toward her and caught around the waist, He spun her around; laughing then put her down.
They stood there just a moment but it seemed like an eternity, getting lost in each other's eyes. Then Rogue did something that shocked him. She reached out with an ungloved hand and stroked his face. At first he moved back with fear. But when he looked into Rogue's pleading he nodded.
Her touch made a shock of electricity shoot through his face; her hands were silky smooth. He loved the feel of her hand on his face.
Rogue asked him "Why were you scared of me? You know Ah would never you. Ah love you" She wrapped her arms around his neck.
Remy sighed and said, "I know Chere, and I love you too." He bent down with his arms around her waist and kissed her.
Rogue sat up and looked at Remy. His eyelids were flickering. She felt very weak. She reached over and touched the call button before darkness overcame her.
Hank found Rogue in a coma when he responded to the call button. Remy however was awake.
Hank asked, "Remy you're a wake, how do you feel?"
Remy surprised that he was with the X-men, looked around and answered, "I feel fine Hank, I'm back at the mansion I see. So you guys came for ol' Remy, Remy is much obliged."
Hank responded, "it was not our idea, Rogue thought of it. She was in here every minute of the day, but she must have gone back to bed. Did apologize to you Remy."
Remy looked surprised "I haven't seen Rogue, since I woke up. She didn't come in here, probably still mad at me."
Hank shook his head and came around to check on pulse and when he looked at the floor. He saw Rogue, asleep in a coma and a cut on her forehead. He hurried got down and picked up Rogue.
Remy gasped "Rogue what happened to her?"
Hank shrugged and asked "Remy when you were in a coma did you dream?"
Remy nodded and explained "I dreamed that Rogue could touch me, you don't thin' do you?"
Hank nodded and placed Rogue on the bed across from Remy. Remy watched her.
Later
Remy got out of bed and walked over to where Rogue laid. He brushed her hair out of her eyes. He knew that if he touched her, it would reverse the reason she touched him. He felt his heart was torn out when looked at Rogue.
He walked out of the room and up the stairs into Rogue's room. He looked around and saw that her teddy bear was on the ground. He picked up and stared at it. Memories flew through his brain, of times she laughed or smiled or cried. Every time she was with him. He walked over to the CD player, which was paused. He un-paused the music and listened, it was a song that he never thought he would hear in Rogue's Cd player. He had heard it on the radio. It always reminded him of Belladonna.
Where are you now?
What have you found?
Where is your heart?
When I'm not around
Oh where are you now
You gotta me let me know
So I can let you go.
He hoped he wouldn't have to let Rogue go, he needed her like air. He broke her heart but when she left him that hurt worse, to know that she hated him and his secrets hurt more that any pain he ever felt.
It was a total of three days before Rogue awoke. When she woke up she saw Beast's smiling face. He called the Professor, who came shortly.
"Well Rogue, I have some good news. It looks like you powers are under control. It seems your kissing Gambit and bringing him out of his coma actually aided in helping you gain control over your powers. Rogue smiled and noticed that Charles was holding her bare hand. She shed the silent tears she had been holding in since her powers.
It had been a week since Rogue and the team brought Remy LeBeau back from his chilly tomb of Antarctica. Everyone in the mansion was happy for Rogue's new control of her powers. Remy was on the mend. Everybody was happy; everyone except Rogue.
Rogue was still beating herself for leaving Remy. She was sure Remy would never forgive her, so spent the whole seven days since she woke up avoiding him, picking a different hiding place each day.
She was now on the roof of the mansion, the weather was cold, windy and a heavy mist fell from the sky. Rogue however didn't care, she stole Remy's old gray sweatshirt. With her powers under control she could feel the wind and mist. It was almost refreshing, but she didn't notice because she was deep in thought.
The attic door opened and a tall dark haired figure with blazing eyes walked onto the roof when the door slammed Rogue spun around quickly; when she saw who it was she relaxed. "What are you doin' up here Swamp Rat? She asked defensively.
Remy smiled and said, "I can ask you the same thing Chere"
Rogue's skipped a beat at the sound of his rich Cajun drawl. She smiled and sat back down on the ledge and whispered, "This has always been my thinking spot Sugah."
Remy sat down next to her "what are you thinking about Rogue?" he asked quietly starring at the profile of her.
Rogue sighed and answered, "All the fun we used to have. We have more then we ever did but still feel we have nothing. Ah'm sure you know that Ah can control my powers but you know Ah found with? Charles, no he didn't kiss me but Ah wanted to share that day with you. Ah was so dang selfish. Ah had to punish you for whatever. Then when you were in a coma Ah was so scared that Ah'd never see your handsome eyes again and Ah don't think Ah'd could bear that." Tears fell like rain drops rolled down her cheeks.
Remy reached out and took her into his arms.
Rogue said against his chest "Ah'm so sorry Remy, Ah'm sorry Remy" Remy held her safe against the rain.
Remy said "I forgive you Rogue. I'm glad you came back to get me By de way Chere, why did you come and save Ol' Remy? I thought I would never your pretty face again. "
Rogue still in his arms answered, "Oh Remy ah did not want to let you go. Ah couldn't bear to let you go." Rogue held him tighter.
Remy looked down at her and grasped her chin to look into her eyes. "I don't want to let you go either Chere Thank you for coming to get me." He said with all the serious he could, his heart in his eyes. She snuggled closer
After a moment Remy realized that the soaked sweatshirt that Rogue was wearing looked very familiar. "Chere" he asked with a humorous voice "is dat my sweatshirt?"
Rogue pulled away and smiled at him in a playful smile answered, "Yes it is but I'm not a thief!" She snuggled close to him again.
Remy laughed at her and said, "Yes you are"
Rogue looked at him with a curious face "why?"
He answered, "Because you stole my heart, Rogue." He then kissed her without a worry about what happen. A kiss that he had waited for a long time and he knew she had been waiting too. And they knew everything would be fine.
AN: So what did you think? It took me a while to finish it. Please Review your comments are always welcomed.