Standing on the sidewalk, staring out into the rain, I wonder if Inuyasha is thinking about the same things that I am. I wonder if he knows just how much I'm beginning to doubt our cause. I don't know if we can ever complete the jewel. The Shikon Jewel, Jewel of Four Souls, has dominated the last year of my life so much that I've begun to wonder if I'm truly even Kagome anymore. If I was ever really a part of this world. It's gotten so strong, this feeling I have, and I wonder how long it will be before Souta forgets what I look like. I spend weeks away at a time, and only recover maybe one shard every other adventure. They aren't even really adventures anymore, though, are they? More like a forlorn odyssey.
With a sigh I turned away from the street, gazing at the shrine, my eyes lingering on the tree where I first met Inuyasha. The falling sheets of icy precipitation blur the well house. I left my bulging backpack over there. It doesn't matter, though. The well house will keep it dry. At this point, I realize for the first time that rain has seeped through my clothes and hair. It streams down my face in liquid cool tracks. It drips from my bangs and the tip of my nose. It dribbles from my fingertips and clothes. Mother crosses my mind. She'll be distraught if I catch a cold this way. Sigh. Yes, sigh. As in saying sigh rather than sighing. I've been doing strange things like that lately.
The side door opens. Souta's shadow stretches towards me across the yard. His small boyish frame is surrounded by a halo of artificial light. It almost makes me think about the morning so long ago, when Inuyasha had saved us both from the Noh Mask. That was back when there was still bright sun-shiny hope. When my eyes would light up in anticipation of a trip to the feudal era. Now it's just another part of my life. Just another monotony that slips in and out of my numbing consciousness. This thought is what really makes me question, am I still Kagome? Or am I a shell... trying to impersonate the girl who should've been a happy sixteen-year-old schoolgirl? I asked Miroku what he thought yesterday... He didn't answer me.
----
"Kagome?" Souta's voice echoed softly across the yard. The heavy pitter of rain seeped through what would have been a tense silence.
The young girl in question turned slowly to her little brother. Kagome had once been a happy, sparkling girl. But over the course of a month they'd seen a disturbing change in her. Kagome lived a duel life. She spent half her time across time with the dog-eared half demon, Inuyasha. Over the past week, Inuyasha had grown morbid and silent as well. Souta had asked them both about their moods, and neither had answered. Their mother was concerned as well, but the cloud of sorrow hanging around the two teens was hidden by mystery.
"Kagome, come inside... You're getting all wet." Souta stepped out into the yard, not minding as a few stray drops leaked on him from the overhanging roof.
Kagome blinked at him, "Sou...ta. Souta. Souta. I don't want to do this anymore. Souta. Goodbye." With that the young girl fell to her knees, her eyes going heavy and blank. Souta rushed forward, catching his sister's shoulders before she fell face forward into the mud. "Souta... I can't do it. I can't fix this. It's just too much."
"Kagome!" He yelled, tears welling in his eyes as panic settled like a thick fog over his mind, "Kagome! What's wrong with you?!"
"Do you know what's wrong? They're dead." Kagome murmured blearily, her arms dangling at her sides as she gazed up at her little brother. "They all died. Even him. Especially him."
"Kagome...what's wrong with you..." Souta sniffled, beginning to cry...
"It's almost dreamlike..." She whispered softly. Memory swam lazily up to greet her. She could see clearly the green green grass blowing in the wind the day she first realized her love for the white-haired non-human
Two months before that....
----
Kagome stood transfixed as Inuyasha fought ferociously against his half brother. Sesshoumaru's face was clear of emotion, but his eyes gleamed with the heat of battle as he met his brother swing for swing, casting Tetsusaiga's attacks aside and darting forward to lash at Inuyasha.
A breeze caressed the small valley, blowing Sesshoumaru's snow-white tresses like a cape behind him. As once again he repelled a blow from his brother's sword, his eyes flitted up to meet Kagome's. She gasped almost inaudibly as his molten gaze seeped into hers. Her bow hummed with tension, an arrow poised upon its string. Kagome had been about to let loose the arrow, aiming for Sesshoumaru himself. That gaze froze her in her tracks.
His eyes were only on her for a moment, but it seemed eternity before he looked away. In that gaze the young priestess saw more of the cold taiyoukai than she'd ever seen even of his half-brother. She saw deep into the soul hidden behind those eyes. The quiet calculating soul so often portrayed as heartless. Kagome felt the string loosen on her bow. The arrow between her fingertips slid to point at the billowing grass. Miroku looked at her strangely, sensing the sudden calm spreading across her aura.
To Kagome it was both eternity and not a moment at all before the battle was over. Sesshoumaru vanished into the trees. Inuyasha collapsed, clutching his side. Miroku and Sango were hauling him up onto Kirara. And then everyone was gone. Miroku gave her one knowing glance. She nodded, and he understood. I'll catch up later...
Sesshoumaru had not gone far, but Kagome had to run to catch up with him. When at last she drew even with the fierce lord, they were in a small clearing many yards from the forest's edge.
"Sesshoumaru..." Kagome panted. He merely quirked an elegant eyebrow. But Kagome read his stare and stepped forward, her eyes steady.
"Why do you seek me out, human...?" His voice was soft and yet carried a mind-numbing power and danger. Blood trickled down his cheek from a cut he'd received in the battle.
"You're bleeding..." Kagome observed, her voice breathy and light. The sound of her own voice sounded strange to her.
"You chased me into the forest for a little blood on my cheek." He did not make it a question. He stated it for the lie it was. He took a step towards the girl, whose breath caught deep in her throat. "Tell me the truth, priestess. Why have you followed me?"
The low growl in his voice made Kagome shiver, "I'm sorry, Lord Sesshoumaru. I couldn't help it... I can't explain it- Here, let me..." She trailed off as she reached up with a handkerchief to softly wipe the blood from his porcelain skin.
Sesshoumaru's eyes widened only marginally as his hand came up to trap hers against his cheek. A tense moment of silence passed between them, wordless messages flowing through the air. At last it was Sesshoumaru who moved, bending down to capture Kagome's lips with his in a chaste kiss. The first kiss of many between the two.
Romance bloomed. But they were star-crossed. Doomed. Never meant to be. Sesshoumaru was killed. Kouga, Sango, and Shippo as well in a battle with Naraku two months later for the Shikon Jewel. The jewel again was broken. It's shards scattered farther and wider than before. Kagome watched in horror as her loved ones died and a year of fighting and persisting was crushed beneath Naraku's heel. Naraku had the pleasure of watching the young priestess break at last. At last.
----
A choked sob escaped Kagome's lips as she lie on a bed in the hospital. Her mother stood over her, crying silently and clasping her daughter's hand. A doctor stood nearby, watching silently as a mother mourned her forlorned daughter. The boy had long since retreated to a chair outside to cry. Nonsense poured from the young girl's lips. About demons and dog boys, wars and jewels. Foxes and fleas. Love and death. A tear streeked down the doctor's cheek as the heart monitor shrilled a long, loud note of such finality that even from the hall the brother of the deceased could hear. The man swiped at that solitary tear as he moved forward to turn off the machines. He forced himself to believe and tell her mother that she was somewhere better, where memories were only happy. And friends were never dead.