Adventures in a Harem...
Disclaimer: I still own the harem, but most of its members were invented by someone other than me. I did however add certain traits...like the hobbies.
Chapter Two: Cruel and Unusual
(Scene: The T.V. room. One wall is a television...literally. On the wall opposite it is an open archway that is the only entrance/exit in the room. All three of the walls that aren't the TV are actually a giant, oddly shaped aquarium. The aquarium is filled with a variety of fish. The center of the room is a lowered pit filled with couches, bean bag chairs, and other comfortable seating.)
"Hello-o!" The shout rang through the house late Sunday night/early Monday morning, eventually making its way into the tv room where a small crowd had gathered.
On one of the couches sat Dobre Ytka, cross-legged. In front of her, on the floor, Vlad was sprawled out. He had obviously showered recently, and Aragorn had been right...his hair was a lighter color when it was clean. Dobre Ytka was staring at the tv, and playing with Vlad's hair when she heard the shout. "TV room!" she answered back. Then she returned to the dreadlock that she was braiding into Vlad's hair. Also in the room was Aragorn. He was huddled in a bean bag chair, trying to draw as little attention as possible. Dracula was still sulking in his dark corner of the living room. Napoleon was standing near Dobre Ytka's couch holding a tray of cookies. In the corner of the room, by the door, was a traveling chalkboard...the kind with wheels.
"Who was that?" Aragorn risked asking just as Vlad spun around to stare at Dobre Ytka (pulling his hair in the process).
"How did she get here?" Vlad demanded to know.
"Well, if you really must know" Dobre Ytka was clearly put out with Vlad's tone, "I simply made her a doorway. I decided there had to be a reason she had that Three Stooges cardboard cutout in her basement." A small, shadowy figure bounced into the room. "Heya friend" this was directed at the figure.
"Hi!" was the answer Dobre Ytka got, but that was all she got, as the figure immediately bound over to the traveling chalkboard, and gave it a big hug. "Joe!" the figure cooed at the stick-figure drawn on the board. "My favorite audience member..." The figure gave Joe a fond pat on his chalk head and, turning around, promptly burst out laughing. It couldn't be helped. The sight of Dobre Ytka in her comfy pajamas braiding Vlad's hair, while making everyone watch...Mary Kate and Ashley was just too funny.
"Come on Dreamstrifer" Dobre Ytka let go of Vlad's hair long enough to pat the couch beside her. "Pull up a seat and join in the torture."
"Don't mind if I do," Dreamstrifer, that mysterious bouncy figure answered. "Although, I have to ask what they did to deserve this," as she spoke, Dreamstrifer picked a cookie up off of Napoleon's tray. "Thanks Nappy! Looks delish!"
"Well," Dobre Ytka took a deep breath, "Vlad here forgot to tell Aragorn there the house rules. Aragorn complained about my decorating skills. Nappy purposely burned my dinner because I told him he couldn't mutiny. Orlando kicked me in the shin. And Joe? Well, he just likes this movie." Dreamstrifer looked properly shocked (both at the atrocities that the harem had committed, and at the fact that Joe, her favorite audience member, enjoyed watching Mary Kate and Ashley). She looked around with a puzzled look on her face.
"Well, I see Vlad, I see Nappy, I see Aragorn, and I see Joe, but where the heck is Orlando. Where's my handsome hunk a duck?" Dobre Ytka blinked, and burst into laughter.
"Hunk...a...duck!" she guffawed. "Oh, that's great." She gestured to the walls. Dreamstrifer studied the walls closely, and sure enough, there was Orlando...swimming around. Oohhh...fish.
"Oh..." Dreamstrifer said as she spotted him. "I see he still has the mohawk." Dobre Ytka nodded. Dreamstrifer turned back to Dobre Ytka, and cocked her head quizzically. "So I get Nappy's punishment...he burned your food, and now he has to hold food all night long. Vlad get's a new hairdo. The movie is obviously for Orlando. What's Aragorn's punishment? You never duplicate, so I know the movie couldn't be all you have planned for him."
Dobre Ytka gave a sly smile. She again let go of Vlad's hair, and gestured to Dreamstrifer. The two leaned close together, and Dobre Ytka whispered something in Dreamstrifer's ear. Dreamstrifer squealed. "Oh! Can I help?" Dobre Ytka nodded. Vlad, who had obviously over heard, gave Aragorn a pitying look. Aragorn gulped.
As the movie drew to a close, Aragorn got more and more nervous. As if Dreamstrifer staring at him with an evil look on her face wasn't enough, he could see what Dobre Ytka was doing to Vlad. Once she had finished all the braids, she started with bows. Not only did each small braid have a bow at the bottom of it, she had also started gathering several braids together and, using a bow, making the group into a perky, braided pony tail. It was a horrifying sight. And the colors...dear Lord, the colors of the bows. She was diabolical.
The credits rolled. The movie was over, and Dobre Ytka was done with Vlad's hair. He looked kinda like a poodle on crack...and caffeine. The two girls rose and walked to the archway. The turned back.
"Vlad" Vlad's head whipped around at the sound of Dobre Ytka's voice. "You will go to your room, where you will write the harem rules, in small print, until all your walls are filled." Vlad nodded. "Nappy, you will go to your room, where you will continue your counseling sessions with Jack the monkey." Napoleon also nodded. "Orlando...you will stay here and continue your Mary Kate and Ashley marathon." Orlando gave a burlbly, underwater quack. "Aragorn will come with us, and Joe can do as he pleases." Aragorn was sweating by this time, but he gamely stood up and followed the girls as they exited the room. The traveling chalkboard slowly wheeled itself after the three.
(Scene: Bathroom. Large, with a jacuzzi, spacious shower, lots of counter space, and a large mirror. Not to mention the usual things like a toilet, towel rack, etc.)
Aragorn was seated in front of the counter. He stared in the mirror as Dobre Ytka and Dreamstrifer danced around behind him.
"A facial, a facial," they both crowed. They frolicked around, waving cans of soda. After a couple of minutes, they calmed down...slightly. Putting their heads together, they had a whispered consultation. Every now and then they'd glance over at Aragorn. Oh yeah, he was scared. They shook hands as they came to some agreement, and turned as one to face him. By this time, he wasn't even pretending to watch them in the mirror...he had swiveled around in the chair, and was gazing straight at them. They gave an evil grin and advanced. He had the chance for one quick squeal before they were on him.
House Rules: (taken from Vlad's wall)
No playing with fire (that's Dobre Ytka's job)
No animal, or human sacrifices...ritual, or any other kind
No death threats
No stalking
Author's Note:
Just a short chapter. No real point to it, but it was a lot more fun to write than that paper I still have to get done...
Yay for Joe, the creepy, self-moving, chalkboard! I feel very evil after this chapter, and I'm not really sure why. As you can see, I gave Dreamstrifer entrance into the harem, so now she might pop up every now and then. I definitely have to dedicate this chapter to Dreamstrifer; my friendly author goddess. I'll think you'll appreciate the quote.
Quote:
"I'm tired of that namby pamby, will-they won't-they sexual tension crap!"
a girl who lives down the hall from me...on whether or not Ron and Hermione hook up