Lines

Chapter Three

Memories of how his breath felt on her neck, the warmth of his hand, and the comfort of his embrace was like a silhouette across drapery. She had never reacted so strongly to him before. She found that she could not mimic these feelings: Chris had been good to her for a while, but he never incited such stirrings of desire and rapture.

Not even holding his hand sparked feelings remotely similar.

"What did you expect? I work in a nightclub."

Those were his exact words to Catherine when she walked in on him cheating on her. The memories and feelings of that night still stung her emotionally. She really thought that she had found somebody to relate to: someone who would understand her past and how she floated in and out of both worlds as a mother and a career woman. She wasn't expecting to spend the rest of her life with him. So, when she found him with another woman, she felt utterly worthless. She felt no more worth than the barmaids did clad in their skimpy outfits.

Verbally, she said nothing, biting her tongue and promptly walking out.

Even thinking about it at the moment made her eyes water with tears. Why was she the one feeling the hurt so bad?

The ordeal was over and done she decided, weeks over, and now she had time to herself and time to center her attentions and her devotion to her daughter. Lindsay had been slipping further and further away from her. Catherine blamed herself for that. She missed her daddy dearly and sometimes, when she caught the ten year old sleeping, she could hear her whispering, "daddy".

Catherine felt so much anger and resentment toward her deceased ex husband. There was a part of her that still loved him, and that kept her from completely falling in love with someone else.

The only love of her life right now was her distressed daughter.

Lindsay was violently turning her room inside out for a favorite teddy-one that her father had gotten her. Catherine watched in anguish as the child hurled toys, books, and other various objects within her reach across the room. She had already broken two figurines.

"Baby, stop it," Catherine said softly as she tentatively approached her daughter. "Linds, just stop honey and take a deep breath."

The little girl began to cry hysterically.

"I can't find it mom!" She cried. "I can't find daddy's teddy! I want my teddy! I want my daddy!"

Catherine's heart broke in two and she began to weep over her lost daughter. She blamed herself doubly this time; she had abandoned her daughter in selfish pursuit of a personal life, which turned out to be a failure. She wrapped her arms around her daughter, enjoying the feel of her flushed chubby cheeks. Things she had missed out on in her daughter's grief.

"I'm sorry baby," Catherine wept into Lindsay's blonde hair. "I'm so sorry. I know you miss daddy. I miss him too."

Lindsay cried for a long while; all of her repressed anger and aggression from earlier pouring from her body as she relaxed further and further into her mother's bosom. All the while Catherine wept as she went through the events of the fateful night Eddie died in her mind over and over again, shattering her heart every time.

They both fell asleep on the floor of Lindsay's cluttered bedroom, emotionally drained and exhausted.

When Catherine awoke several hours later, she found her little girl still sleeping on her chest. Catherine picked up her girl and put her gently on the bed and let her sleep.

Catherine kissed Lindsay on her cheek before heading out into the living room.

She glanced at the clock. It was almost twelve in the afternoon. Lindsay should have been in school, but Catherine's sister called and said that Lindsay wasn't feeling up to school and that she was having crying fits again.

Catherine sank into her sofa and rubbed her temples.

O-O-O

Warrick could tell from Catherine's haggard appearance that something had not gone right over the last twelve hours.

She'd told him about her break up with Chris, and she didn't seem too broken up about it, although she was hurt that it had to end the way it did. She couldn't be crying over him, could she?

He watched as she nursed a cup of coffee frantically, throwing sugars down onto the counter with more force than usual, and shifting her weight angrily from one foot to the other.

"Hey Cath," he started.

"What?" She asked somewhat flustered.

"Is there something wrong?" He asked. "Are you okay?"

She sighed and sat down at the table.

"It's Lindsay," she began to explain softly. "She's been so difficult lately, but I only have myself to blame for that. I was so wrapped up in trying to find myself a personal life and I left my daughter out in the cold. I mean-am I a bad mother?"

Warrick was not surprised that she asked that question because it wasn't the first time she'd asked it.

"Catherine, you already know the answer to that question," he said rather reproaching. "I think that you're a great mom."

"I beg to differ," she growled. "Lindsay is so angry with me, with everybody for that matter! She misses her father terribly and it hurts my heart to see her cry all of the time and to hear that she's been fighting in school. I've lost complete and utter control of my baby."

By now, Catherine had abandoned her cup of coffee and she wiped her tears.

"I'm a terrible, selfish mother," she wept.

She got up and turned away from him, trying to regain some composure. He would have none of that though, and he walked over to her and turned her back to face him.

She looked beautiful with tears. He never noticed that before. Her blue eyes twinkled with flowing tears and sharp emotion, and his heart went out to her.

No words passed between them.

Without even thinking, Warrick softly and gently place his hand on her wet cheek and caught the next tear that fell on his thumb. Feeling her salty tear on his skin sent waves of both anguish and desire through his entire body. Her porcelain skin was soft and creamy, flushed with anger and something else he couldn't quite identify.

She placed her hand on top of his.

"Thank you," she whispered. "I have to go."

The moment she slipped away from his touch, she felt empty again; the tendrils of comfort and want disappeared from her senses just as she realized that they were in the break room.

She cast one final glance back at him before heading down the hallway.

Warrick stared after her a little longer than usual, making him subject to jokes, and knowing looks from other coworkers. He knew that he shouldn't be thinking about her do intensely, but he couldn't help it. From the first day he met her, there was something captivating about her that always made him admire each aspect of her even more.

He knew that he shouldn't be feeling this way.

Both of them knew that they were crossing into forbidden territory. But it could not be helped one way or the other.