by Tina
I'm gonna be true to you guys. I like writing subtle things, but I think (actually, I'm very sure of it!) that I suck at it. 'Cause everytime I try to write a clue to what's about to happen, subtly (and yet it's an important detail to the story as a whole), I fear you're not gonna pick it up. Not because you're not sensitive enough, lol, but because I think I can't make it subtle and yet sort of clear at the same time. Does that make sense?
Plus, it's little things that will only make sense on future chapters. So I think you might all forget about them! It's complicated, but it's bothering me. Last chapter was full of those things. But I got some reviews that made me happy, you guys sort of picked some things up. Yes, Rachel's not thinking things through. Her decision's been an impulse.
Now... I just wanna say that the last 3 chapters have only been background information. The real story starts now. So please don't complain about it (lol!). At the end of the chapter I'll get back to that, I don't wanna spoil anyone, anymore :) So on with the story!
Ross was driving his black Jaguar down Barra da Tijuca beach. His dark sun glasses went either too well or not at all with his black suit. The few girls at the beach whose heads turned to watch him drive by certainly agreed with the first choice. But Ross didn't even seen to notice them. Loud music surrounded him and he sang out long, banging on the steering wheel.
'American woman, stay away from me. American woman, mama let me be... Don't come hanging 'round my door, I don't wanna see your face no more. I got more important things to do than spend my time going on with you...'
He wasn't paying atention to the lyrics.
The ride to the museum wasn't long. Ross parked his car in his exclusive lot and entered the builting. It was an old looking huge construction in the middle of a park. Ross had been told it used to be a mantion of the Portuguese court in Napoleon times, when the king had to be relocated to Brazil and Rio de Janeiro temporarily became a piece of Portugal.
Indeed, it had an unique royal look. The ceilings were high and a lot of other things remained they way they should have looked like back then. Others, however, had been given a modern treatment. There were computers, cameras and other eletronic devices everywhere. Antique works of art filled some hallway walls, but interactive screens and displays filled the rooms.
Ross crossed the hall towards his office and greeted his secretary.
"Good morning, Juliana."
She was on the phone.
"Oh, Dr. Geller has just entered the builting, can you hold untill I pass the call? Okay, thank you." she held a hand over the speaker "Goodmorning, Dr. Geller, it's Dr. Morris Phillis from the London Institute"
"Great, any other calls?"
"They're all written down in your desk"
"Thanks"
Ross entered his office and threw his briefcase on the couch, quickly picking up the phone.
The days were always so busy at the museum.
Thank God.
It was a beautiful sunset to be admired at the beach. Ross didn't want to go home, so he parked his car and walked along the sand. He loosened up his tie and hung his head. Why had he been feeling so low lately? It'd been almost two years since she left, it should had eased up the pain.
Only it never did.
Everytime he thought things were looking better, he somehow managed to feel worse. Nothing had to happen. His mind just drifted, a bit too far.
But he didn't want to think about that. The more he did, the more confused he got. Three years ago they had moved and the problems began. Yet, he still couldn't understand exactly what happened. Exactly who was to blame for the end of his happiness.
Who was he kidding, after all? Driving his fancy car, living in his fancy big apartment, wearing fancy clothes? What did it matter if, at the end of the day, it would be just him and his things? They couldn't do the things his family did.
They were simply fancy lies.
However, going to work still gave him perspective. It seemed like the only thing that made life worth those days.
On the past, Ross would swear he'd leave it on a heartbeat if Rachel asked him to. But not after all they'd gone through. Rachel had changed. She was a complete different person now and she'd made it very clear she didn't want him back. She didn't want him back into her life, or even into the same country as her. She wanted him there, doing his own things.
As if they had never shared anything.
Not love, not life, not ceilings, not kids... not anything.
Their kids, he barely saw them. Mike was still the same sweet boy so much in love with him. It broke Ross' heart to se how much he still cared for him. Sometimes he wished he didn't. It hurt to see the tears in his eyes everytime he had to leave. Ella... Ross never had the chance to be around her much. Not long after she was born, Rachel was already moving out. The way his little girl looked at him scared Ross. He was a stranger to his own daughter.
Ross looked at his watch. He should head home, he had to call his kids and tell them the news.
Since Rachel and the kids took off, the apartment seemed to have tripled its size. It was scarily big.
Ross turned the lights on and stood by the door for a while, just looking around. On his way to the kitchen, he saw the answering machine blinking.
"You have seven new messages"
He sighed and carefully listened to the six messages concerning his job. When the last one started, though, Ross somehow already knew it was a different one.
"You got the machine, so be quick" that faded voice was unforgetable. Ross shivered at the simple sound of it.
"Hey dad!" Mike's voice kicked in. "How are you? We're fine. Well... Anyway, we called your office to talk to you and Juliana said you're coming to Miami! We just wanna know if you're coming over for a visit" Mike went silent for a few seconds. "I hope so" Ross looked down. "Ella, say hi to dad!"
"Hi, daddy" her baby voice was almost inaudible.
"The phone won't bite you, Ella! She's just embarassed, dad... Anyway, call us back when you have an answer, okay? Bye!"
Beep!
Ross sighed and shook his head. So they already knew?
Only now Ross had second thoughts. He always did when he was about to see them again. Her, again. And everytime he called he had to give himself good five minutes to get ready, on a good day. On a bad one, it could take hours. Or he'd just wait for a better oportunity.
This time, Ross walked up to the stereo and put on a CD to help chill out.
"I don't have plans and schemes. And I don't have hopes and dreams. I don't have anything, since I don't have you"
Ross made himself a drink.
"And I don't have fond desires. And I don't have happy hours. I don't have anything, since I don't have you."
He walked up to the balcony and gazed at the sea. It was calm, the streets were quiet.
It was all just awfully too quiet.
"Happiness, and I guess, I never will again. When you walked out on me, In walked ol' misery, And he's been here since then"
Annoyed, he walked back into the apartment. First thing his eyes caught was a framed picture of Mike and Ella. He picked it up and stared at it.
It was a rather recent one that they'd sent through the mail. Mike was getting everyday more like his mother. His hair was now rather long and he had managed to grow like any other six years old boy would.
Ella, on the other hand, was a spitting image of Ross. She had chocolate brown eyes and hair. Her skin was milk white and she was very little. She was nothing like her brother Mike. Neither physically nor psychologically. Ella was quiet. The only person for whom she showed warm true affection was her mother. She rarely spoke, but her eyes were always capable of saying more than words. However, they almost never said good things. They usually just showed sorrow, the one she seemed to try to hide.
Ross put the picture down. It wasn't helping.
But the thought of wanting to see them again pushed him into picking up the phone.
So he did.
His shaky hand held it while his brain tried to remember the number to Rachel's new house.
"I don't have love to share, And I don't have one who cares. I don't have anything, Since I don't have you..."
It's a little shorter and more dramatic than I had in mind! lol, but it works...! As I said, I'm done seeking perfection around here :) I'd rather have some fun ;) And since I can't seem to have both...!
Alright, listen. Yes, they're divorced. Why? You'll see why later. Actually... it's been said here. Rachel's changed. I'll elaborate that later. And I'll elaborate everything else later, too. This chapter is only to show that and Ross' life, sort of. Next one will be all Rachel, sort of like this one, only with more stuff.
Then the story will begin for real ;)
Ah... reviews? Please, I need to know what you think! :) Who knows, I might change some stuff I got in my mind!