Chapter 4
They were surrounded by their families and closest friends as they repeated the vows said by the minister, but they only looked at each other. They might as well have been the only ones in the room. They were oblivious to the others present.
Their kiss lasted longer than was customary between a bride and groom after they were pronounced husband and wife. All they cared about was that they were finally married, had finally made the ultimate promise to themselves and to each other that this was their future, that they were bound together until death do us part.
The guests around them applauded their approval as they finally released each other. Kim and Chase, Jack's sister Carol and her husband Mitch, Jack's new in-laws Barbara's brother David and his wife Lesley, and their closest friends, Michelle and Tony among them, were all grinning and hooting, happy for the couple, but also relieved that Jack had come to grips with his past. They all knew what he had been through, and these people, who loved him, were glad that whatever Jack would face he would face with Barbara. They would draw strength from each other, for with her he was ready to meet whatever might challenge him in the future. That was what marriage meant to Jack. That was what had caused him to finally erase all doubts from his mind.
Barbara was radiant in an off-white peplum suit, fitted to show off her fabulous figure. She carried a bouquet of red roses that were echoed by centerpieces on the tables, which were brightly lit by the afternoon sunshine. The tables were set with formal china and silver, for even though Barbara had said she didn't need a fancy wedding Jack thought they should have one. He and Teri hadn't had any money when they'd gotten married, and Jack always wondered whether Teri regretted that their wedding was so spare. Just a priest and Teri's parents and Jack's mom were there, along with Teri's roommates and the fraternity brothers Jack shared an apartment with. The dinner after the church service had been at a VFW hall, not a very fancy place, Jack had thought, but Teri seemed happy. Still, Jack had wanted a more elaborate wedding this time. Circumstances had changed since his marriage to Teri, and he was determined that Barbara should have the best.
She always wore her black hair down, but today it was done in a french twist, which Jack liked because it exposed the slender neck that he so loved to kiss. High heels the same color as her suit only boosted Barbara to five feet three inches, still much shorter than Jack, and he liked the way her face felt as she nuzzled against his neck when they danced. They had joked when it was time to choose the song for their first dance, Barbara proposing "Send In The Clowns," while Jack suggested the old Beatles song, "Why Don't We Do It In The Road." When Barbara countered with "Do That To Me One More Time" Jack came back with "I Want To Make It With You." After the pain in their sides made them finally stop laughing they decided to leave the choice up to the band leader. Neither of them even noticed what song it was when Jack led her around the dance floor. They just held each other tightly, never wanting the moment to end.
Dancing with Barbara made Jack feel even more protective. He never wanted to let her go for he still only felt really confident when he was holding her, but he realized that such closeness wasn't possible, and probably wasn't even desirable. Being together 24 hours a day would drive them both crazy. They both had their work, and that meant time apart, but it was healthy for their relationship, they both knew. Being different people was at least part of why they worked so well. It was why they were so attracted to each other, and it was healthy. It was one of the reasons why their marriage would last. They wouldn't become a statistic in the divorce courts.
Jack was wearing his new dark blue suit with muted pinstripes, together with a white shirt and a blue paisley tie with a matching foulard in his breast pocket. Their shopping trip had been successful. It's strange how women always manage to pick out their own wardrobes and look fabulous, while we men seem helpless unless our wives or girlfriends are with us to help us select our clothes, Jack had mused in the store. He hadn't bought anything new since he and Kate had parted. She, too, had helped him pick out his clothing, anything fancier than jeans or t-shirts. I wonder why that is, he thought. But it certainly wasn't worth dwelling on. All that mattered was that Barbara was pleased with the way he looked, and it didn't hurt that he liked it, too. It made him feel worthy of standing with the beautiful woman who was now his wife.
"Sweetheart, have I said I love you?" Jack whispered to her as they walked over to their guests. "No, you haven't, at least not in the last minute," she smiled. He drew her near to him again, and as he hugged her he said, "I love you. I'd say it constantly, but then we'd never sleep. So I'll have to content myself with saying it only when we're awake."
Barbara smiled again, and linked her fingers through her husband's. That sounds wonderful, she thought. My husband.
Everyone was grinning at them. "Can't keep your hands off each other?" Dave teased. "Not even for a minute? This should be a very interesting reception."
They were beyond blushing, so they just smiled. David and Lesley had been just as devoted at their own wedding three years before. Lesley was now pregnant with Barbara's first niece or nephew, and she was radiant although somewhat uncomfortable as she was entering her ninth month. Barbara hoped to be in the same condition soon, but she and Jack were both old-fashioned, and they wanted to wait to make a baby, as Jack called it, until they were married. I hope we can start soon, she thought. They were both eager to start their family.
They'd lived together for months, so the period of adjustment that so many newlyweds experience had already occurred. In that respect it was as though they were already married, so they were prepared to quickly take the next step, having a child. Jack knew he was still relatively young and in reasonable health, so he had discounted his original feeling that he was too old to start a new family. He felt strong enough to keep up with a child, which he knew from experience was exhausting; an infant needs constant attention, and a toddler has boundless energy. Adolescence brings its own problems that he and Teri had never quite successfully dealt with, but Kim had turned into a loving, mature woman, and a wonderful mother. So maybe he hadn't been such a terrible father. But he was a realist, and he knew that Kim was largely Teri's child, and the wonderful way Kim had turned out was a tribute to Teri. He had been an also-ran as a parent, something he deeply regretted, and he was determined not to let that happen when he and Barbara had kids. This was Barbara's first - and only, he was sure - marriage, and she had never had children, which Jack knew was exceedingly important to her. He realized that without a baby she would always feel that something vital was lacking, no matter how much they loved each other. So he overcame his doubts, and agreed to have a child. Or maybe more than one, he'd told her.
Everyone sat down to dinner in the private room of Jack's favorite restaurant, where Jack, Barbara, Kim and Chase had celebrated the pardon that had been issued by President Prescott. Next to his marriage to Teri and now to Barbara, and Kim's birth, that had been the happiest day of his life, for it had cleared his name, and expunged all criminal charges against him. It had made him feel like a new man, not having the label 'ex-con' always connected to him, and they had celebrated with bottles of imported champagne and a wonderful dinner. Memories of that wonderful night made Jack glad that Barbara had chosen this place for their reception.
As the waiters were serving the food Jack's best friend, his old college roommate Cliff Wexler, stood and proposed a toast. Holding what would be the first of many glasses of champagne, Cliff told a story from their college days, when Jack had a recurring nightmare that he hadn't studied for a final exam in a class he really wasn't taking, and the nightmare made Jack unable to study for the courses in which he really did have tests. He'd insisted that such a vivid dream had to be real, and Cliff had had to take him to the registrar's office to convince him that he wasn't enrolled in the class. He used this as an example of Jack''s stubbornness, and wished Barbara well in dealing with Jack in the future. Everyone laughed, but they knew that Barbara could be as stubborn, 'determined,' she called it, as Jack. Her college roommate, Lainie Berman, told a story about Barbara's 'determination,' showing that she and Jack were well-matched. It will make for some fireworks in their marriage, Lainie predicted, but in her toast she said there was no doubt that they would overcome that obstacle, along with any others that presented themselves.
As more and more champagne was consumed the toasts to the couple got exceedingly raunchy, until the newlyweds, despite their sophistication, were bright red from blushing. No one wanted the party to end, so more champagne was ordered until they were all well-lubricated. Jack, of all people, had the most wits about him, so he called for taxis for everyone. No one was in any condition to drive.
Jack and Barbara were so drunk when they finally got home that they almost passed out before they made love, but they managed to consummate their marriage while they were still conscious. But neither of them could really be sure of it in the morning, so they made love again, just to make sure. It was hardly a sacrifice for either.
They were supposed to fly to Kauai that afternoon, but they had both awakened with monster hangovers, and the thought of getting on a plane was enough to make them sick. Again Jack was best able to function, so he managed to call the airline and reschedule their flight to the following day. After hanging up the phone they both fell into a deep sleep.
When Jack awoke Barbara's side of the bed was empty, so he went searching for her, not even realizing that he was nude. She was on the deck off the kitchen with all the blinds open, and he was visible to anyone outside. Lesley and David were with Barbara on the deck, and they saw him through the screen of the sliding door. Dave whistled and Barbara and Lesley started laughing, and Jack finally realized that he wasn't wearing anything. He hurried back to the bedroom and pulled on jeans and a t-shirt. His blush didn't go away immediately. It stayed with him for a good few minutes, and when he remembered it later in the day he started blushing all over again. He knew that this was something they'd never let him forget. At least I didn't walk around turned on, he comforted himself. They'd have never stopped laughing. The thought of it made him blush all over again.
As Jack re-entered the kitchen he tried to act nonchalant. He poured a cup of coffee and was able to add the proper amounts of milk and sugar. Barefoot, he took the mug out to the deck, where they had left a place for him at the table. Dave and Lesley started to laugh again, and Barbara was trying hard to restrain herself so as not to further embarrass her husband on the first day of their marriage, but it turned out to be a losing battle. She again began laughing so hard that tears rolled down her cheeks. After a minute Jack realized that it really was funny so he too started to laugh, but not with the same merriment as the others.
Barbara finally managed to get control of herself and asked Jack what he wanted for breakfast. His hangover had not fully disappeared but had only receded and he still had a hell of a residual headache, but he realized that he had to eat. He told her he'd take care of it and put a couple of slices of bread in the toaster and poured another cup of coffee, forgetting that he had left one on the deck table. He really wasn't functioning, and he knew it wasn't only because he'd been so drunk. He hadn't completely gotten over his embarrassment and he knew it would continue to preoccupy him until he managed to distract himself and get it out of his head. The thought that the others would never forget it, and would probably bring it up for the rest of his life, didn't help.
He carried his toast and coffee out to the deck and glared at Barbara, Lesley and Dave, silently warning them that he'd had enough laughter at his expense. "Don't! Get over it!" his look said to them. So after some additional smirking and a short laugh from Dave, they resumed their conversation which Jack quickly joined in. They were discussing Hawaii, which Jack's new brother- and sister-in law had recently visited.
"I don't think it was that long a flight," Lesley was saying. "Lainie said it was okay for me to go, as long as I moved around on the plane. She said that as long as I didn't sit the entire time I'd be all right." Lainie was also Lesley's obstetrician.
"There's no reason for you to worry about that," Dave said to Barbara and Jack, "unless there's something you haven't told us." He grinned.
"No, Dave, we're not there yet," Jack responded, feeling better with some food inside him. "We'll tell you when you're going to be an uncle."
"We'd better get going, and leave them alone," Lesley said to her husband. "I think they're chomping at the bit. At least we know Jack is. Weren't you sending Barb a signal when you 'forgot' to get dressed?"
"Very funny," Jack said, remembering his embarrassment, although he knew that they were only teasing him. He had to get used to it. He was sure they'd never stop.
As much as he liked his new in-laws, Jack wasn't sorry to see them go. He did want to be alone with Barbara. Last night and this morning didn't count, he thought. We're going to do this properly, by which he meant they'd both be fully conscious.
Neither of them typically got drunk, although Jack had been known to have one beer too many upon occasion. Barbara usually stuck to wine and the only effect it seemed to have was to make her more amorous. Jack made sure that they always had plenty of wine.
When they were alone they headed to the bedroom. The brilliant sunshine that flooded the room didn't distract them. They had made love in all sorts of places, at all times of day and night, and nothing intruded on their intense feelings for each other. Barbara welcomed him, as always, and as they moved they both felt the tension grow until they exploded together. With their bodies glistening with sweat they held each other and fell asleep.
Jack awoke about six and looked at Barbara still sleeping in his arms. He disengaged himself slowly, so as not to wake her, and headed for the bathroom. He briefly thought of the times he'd awakened with Kate, but his bathroom visits then had been to shoot up. He was clean by the time he met Barbara but she knew all about his addiction. He'd been told by the counselors in prison, after he'd detoxed 'cold turkey,' that he would always be an addict. It was up to him to stay clean, for there would always be a part of him that would want to shoot up again. It was very easy to relapse, they'd told him, and he had to fight it. No one else could do it for him. He'd been surprised by this, and told himself, and them, that that wouldn't be a problem for him. He was cured. But when he'd started to crave the drug again when he was still in prison, where it was available for a price, he realized that he was being incredibly naive. He learned to accept that he would always be an addict, and that he would always have to fight to stay clean. He'd been afraid to tell Barbara this, half-expecting her to judge him and find him lacking, as so many others, and he himself, did. But when he told her about the challenge that would always face him she accepted it, telling him that it was something they would confront together. He now knew that he would always be able to draw upon her strength, for he was confident that she loved him unconditionally, and that meant everything to him. He knew that she would always be there, no matter what, and it gave him courage, not the kind he'd needed on his missions certainly, but an even more important bravery, that enabled him to face life with eagerness rather than dread. He was no longer alone.