by Tina
Okay, so I guess 'confusing' is not the right word to express what I think these last few chapters have been. They just got me thinking I'm not saying everything I want to say, or how I want to say them. I wanna leave loose ends to tie it all up in the end. But... haha, that's fine, I'll go on as it is :) As I said, I'm having trouble concentrating, so I'm not writing the right words and sometimes it just feels like it's falling apart! I can be so "methodic" (is this a word?) when I'm writing..!
Through the thick walls, Rachel could still hear the muffed sound of Ross' alarm clock. She opened her eyes and looked at her watch, it was 5:30. She remember about his morning jogs and for a moment, considered joining him. "Nah, I didn't bring the right clothes", she told herself as if that was the only reason she decided not to.
Over the last couple of months of their marriege, the simple sound of the alarm clock could bring the worst of Rachel's nerves. The still, constant and ear piercing sound would pull her away from her dreams abruptly. She never managed to fall back asleep.
It was a terrible way to start another endless day.
This time, however, Rachel wasn't bothered. The sound quickly stopped and she followed Ross' steps in her mind.
He always stretched and lied down for a couple of minutes before sitting up.
He'd kiss her cheek and whisper 'good morning'.
"Guess he won't be doing that today." She rolled on her bed.
Then he'd go into the bathroom and wash his face and brush his teeth.
Change into his jogging clothes and kiss her one more time before leaving.
Rachel didn't get the chance to join him much back when she lived there. First, the pregnancy made her lazy enough to allow herself to sleep all through the mornings and just walk around the beach in the afternoons. Then, there was Ella who kept her up all night and drained her of all the energy she needed to get anything done.
After hearing Ross carefully close the door, Rachel closed her eyes and fell asleep again.
A few hours later, Rachel woke up feeling something different pressed up against her. When she opened her eyes, she saw Ella sitting in bed with her, her back glued on Rachel, holding one of her new teddy bears and flipping through pages of a children's book. Not that it mattered to Ella - she couldn't read, anyway - but Rachel noticed it was in Portuguese.
"Hey, good morning" Rachel greeted Ella softly.
The little girl turned around and smiled at her mother.
"G'morning, mommy"
Rachel kissed her hair and Ella continued to flip the pages. They were filled with beautiful and colorful drawings of animals.
"Have you been up for long?" Ella simply nodded, not looking up at her mother. "Have you had breakfast?" she nodded again.
Rachel didn't know whether she should be annoyed or pleased. Ella never did anything without her, before.
"Did your father wake you up?"
"No"
"But did you have breakfast with him?"
"Yeah. Mike and me"
Rachel looked at her watch one more time, it was 9:15.
"Is he still home?"
"No"
So Rachel laid awake for another 10 minutes or so before getting up. She had phoned Flávia the previous day and she was supposed to drop by at 11 and take Rachel shopping. Luckily, Flávia also had kids and they'd leave them and Rachel's with babysitters at Ross'. And since Flávia was married to a british guy, her children were bilingual, which made things much easier.
After taking a shower, changing and having breakfast, Rachel just sat on a couch in Mike's bedroom - which was decorated with a nature theme - and watched both her children playing. She couldn't help but chuckle when Ella kept trying to convince her brother that his Actionman was supposed to fall in love with her Barbie.
"Ella, no! Actionmen don't fall in love, they just fight, that's all!"
"But Barbie needs a boyfriend"
"I don't care!"
Ella looked up at him with her big round chocolate brown puppie eyes and he sighed.
"Okay, fine. But only if this one" he held up another toy "falls in love with her too! And then can fight over her!"
Ella smiled.
"Okay!!"
And in the middle of the toy fight, Mike lost control of his toys and instead of coliding them together, he pushed one hardly into his finger. Imediately, he dropped them on the floor and held his finger.
"Ouch!!"
Rachel stood up, approached and knelt down next to Mike.
"What happened?"
"Nothing, I just hit this thing on my finger"
When he uncovered it, they could see blood coming from between his nail and flesh.
"Fighting is bad" Ella said quietly, dropping her Barbie on the floor. Rachel smiled and stood up.
"Come on, Mike, it's nothing bad, but we should put some medicine there and a band aid, just in case"
"Okay"
Rachel thought twice between entering Ross' room. She could easily have asked Vanda to go inside and get it for her, but a part of her wanted to go inside. To try and invade more of his privacy. The house was still the same as she'd left, but would "their" bedroom be too?
Finally turning the doorknob, she had her answer. She entered and was closely followed by Mike and Ella.
The bed was the central element of the room. It was a wide and high bed with white blankets and countless pillows. The wall which the head of the bed was pushed against was pale purple, their pale purple. But above the bed she saw new things. Six black and white pictures hung above it. Two of each of his children: Ben, Mike and Ella. One of them as babies, and one rather recent one. They looked very professional, yet, at the same time, very casual.
Ella, for once, was smiling in hers.
One nighstand rested on each side of the bed. On each of them, a big picture frame rested. In one, Rachel noticed a picture of the gang, herself included, taken on Monica and Chandler's wedding. On the other, Ross, Rachel, younger Mike and baby Ella posed as a perfect family next to Jack and Judy, his parents.
It seemed like Rachel was not the only one who noticed the pictures. Mike rushed over to both nightstands and smiled.
"Look, Ella, it's Uncle Chandler and Aunt Monica! And that guy from t.v. dad keeps telling us about! And Aunt Phoebe!"
Mike was poiting and smiling.
"Mike, be careful, honey"
Rachel always became slightly annoyed when the gang was brought up.
Mike looked at her and frowned.
"C'mon, let's just go fix you up, now!"
She tried lightening things up with a cheary tone of voice, but Mike's look didn't get any better.
They entered the bathroom and Rachel started opening drawers, the ones she knew that for sure didn't contain what she was looking for. The kids weren't paying atention though. Ella was looking into the big bathtub with an amazed expression, while Mike was trying to figure out how Ross' eletric toothbrush worked.
As she opened one of them, Rachel froze. A pack of half used condoms laid there. She imediately shut it closed and bent to open the right drawer. She picked up everything she needed and left, ordering her children to follow her imediately.
They hadn't been at the mall for over an hour and Rachel was already exiting the 3rd store with her 5th bag.
"Want me to carry one for you?" Flávia offered, carrying just a small one herself.
Rachel smiled weakly.
"So far we're good, but I'm afraid very soon we can go back to that question"
Flávia smiled back.
"Alright, what else do you wanna see?"
"What was that store where we used to buy jeans all the time? I mean, you would. I would get all upset because I was too fat to get them myself"
Flávia chuckled.
"You were pregnant, Rach. And after a while I remember you bought some yourself"
"Yeah, okay...! Those were very good, we should drop by"
"But you've already bought four jeans today!"
"And your point is...?"
Flávia shot her a sarcastic look and sighed.
"Can't win you, can I?"
"Nope!" Rachel chuckled. Things were getting easy again... "Besides, you know, I work with fashion. I always take these back to work and show them around"
"Ah, stealing our brazilian jist, eh?"
Rachel chuckled.
"A tad!"
"Right, that's fine" Flávia smiled as they entered a store "Here it is"
Rachel started looking through jeans and sorting out the ones she'd try on.
"You know what I also need to get? Bathing suits"
"I sort of figured that! Everybody who comes here takes back a lot of bikinis and stuff, you guys have some weird pieces up there, don't you?"
Rachel chuckled.
"I'm not sure I'll go for a bikini now though. After giving birth to Ella I swear my body never went back to its usual shape"
Flávia paused what she was doing and shot Rachel a look.
"Okay, I know I didn't know you before and all, but... With all respect, Rachel, shut up" Rachel smiled. "You've got a wonderful body, you're very fit and I'm making you buy the tiniest bikini in store!"
"Which I'll wear in front of my children and ex-husband. Yes, very apropriate!"
Flávia smiled at her and approached. All the time Rachel lived there, she'd talk to Flávia about her problems with Ross. Probably, however, not as openly as she now wished she had.
But up untill then, neither of them had been brought it up.
"Hey, so how are things going with you two?"
Rachel sighed.
"Considering how they were when I left, pretty good"
Flávia smiled in a friendly way.
"You know if you need someone to talk to, I'm here, right?"
Rachel looked at her and smiled back.
"I know. Thanks. But, really, I guess things are going okay..." she trailed off and remembered what happened earlier that day and how weird it made her feel. "Hm, have you uh... Have you seen much of him since I left?"
"Not much, no. He usually met up with Hugh down at the beach when they went jogging together, but now Hugh's just doing that at night. Why?"
"No, nothing." Rachel replied rather quickly.
Flávia decided to let it go.
"Aw, anyway... Ella and Mike have grown up so much, huh?"
Rachel proudly smiled.
Rachel and Flávia came back to Ross' apartment at around two in the afternoon, when Ross had said he'd be back from the museum. When they arrived, though, it seemed like Ross had been there for quite a long time. He was sitting on the floor while Ella and two other girls played with his hair. They had made numerous mini piggy tails with his short hair using very colorful acessories, while Mike and another boy were playing video games.
The sight before her made Rachel instantly burst into laughter. Ross looked up and smiled.
"Is this amusing to you?"
"Very much"
Ella just smiled at her mom and continued to play with her father's hair. Rachel smiled sweetly.
"Hi, Flávia"
"Hi, Ross, how are you doing?"
"Fine, as you can see" Flávia chuckled. "My God, your kids sure have grown up a lot since last time I've seen them"
"Oh, I could say the same to you"
Ross turned and looked at Ella and smiled adoringly.
"Yeah, they have"
Rachel sat down on the couch and Flávia followed. Rachel put all of her shopping bags on the coffee table and sighed, tired.
"Wow, what do you got there? Where did you take her, Flávia, to every shopping mall in town?"
"Nope, just one. So prepare, we still got a lot others ahead"
Mike joined them.
"Are we going out? What are we doing today? I'm sick of staying in!"
Ross noticed something on his finger.
"What's that on your finger, son?"
"I got hurt and mom put this on"
It was one of the band-aids he kept for his children. There were the Ella ones, with pictures from Disney cartoons. And the ones for Mike, with assorted animals. The one he was using now, however, had the Candlestick from "The Beauty and the Beast" on it and Mike did not happy about it. Ross chuckled.
"Do you wanna change that one? I got ones with dinosaurs or lions or elephants...!"
Mike smiled.
"Yeah!"
Ross chuckled again and looked at Rachel, who avoided his eyes. He knew she had gone into his bathroom, but could not see what the big deal was. Whatever the case, he stood up.
"Okay, we can go uh... I don't know. Flávia, got any ideas? You and the kids should join us"
One of the little girls, who was about 5, put an arm around Ella in a protective way and smiled.
"Yeah, mum!"
"Okay, that's an idea.."
"So I'll leave you two decide what we should do. I'll be right back"
He and Mike left the room.
Flávia looked at Rachel and could tell there was so much behind that look of hers. But she knew Rachel was stubborn. Both Rachel and Ross, in fact.
"You know what I think you should do?"
Rachel looked at her.
"What?"
"You're gonna be here for like two weeks, right?" Rachel nodded. "Well, I think you should get away for like a couple of days, go to like, I don't know Petrópolis or Búzios. You've got time for that, you won't have much else to do here in the city"
Rachel paused and thought to herself. She'd been to both places with Ross before. Petrópolis was a cute little city up in the mountains, cozy and romantic. Búzios was a beach, fancy and fun, which could, however, still become equally romantic.
It wouldn't be so bad now, would it?
"It's an idea"
It's a bit longer than most of the chapters :) Keep those comments coming now, will you, please?? :D I apreciate them so very much!! Thanks for reading and... I promise things are gonna start getting more interesting!! :D