by Tina
If there was a rating somewhere between PG-13 and R, I'd use it. Since there isn't... I'll keep it PG-13. At least for now! Nothing strong, really. Or distasteful, I hope. Just want to say that if you're one who gets uncomfortable talking about sexuality, then maybe you shouldn't read this. I just believe sex is a very important (and very normal) part of relationships, so how could I write a story about a couple without bringing it up? In a deeper level, I mean. Anyway, just beware! :)
Rachel watched her children playing in the pool from a tanning chair. Ella was now feeling confident enough to be there by herself, sitting on a float that had two little holes through which she put her legs inside the water. Despite the safety of it, Ella still couldn't stop waving her tiny little legs madly under water, as if she would sink if she stopped. Mike was holding a water gun and splashing his sister, who didn't seem to mind. At most, she'd stick her tongue at him and giggle.
Their mother's mind, however, was far from there. Rachel couldn't stop thinking about the half pack of condoms in Ross' drawer.
Did he have a girlfriend?
'Rachel, don't be naive... You don't need to be in a relationship to sleep with someone!'
She couldn't tell which was worse: knowing Ross was seeing someone or that he was just sleeping around with random girls.
In their bed! In the bed they had made love to each other so many times. Where they had shared meaningful moments.
She knew she didn't exactly have the right to feel that way, but she couldn't help it. Ever since everything their separation, she hadn't been with anyone else. Not only she was simply not in the right place for it, but she also had the kids, who she refused to leave aside so she could go and find someone. She didn't want just anyone, after all.
'Maybe the condoms have been there this whole time, since I left!'
But before she could let herself be excited with the new possibility, she thought twice.
'Don't be even more naive, Rachel!' It'd been too long ago, she knew it couldn't be.
Some people let themselves get fooled by Ross' shy ways. But Rachel was well aware of how it could be a turn on to many women out there. Many sexually agressive women out there, in special. And things had only got "worse" in Brazil. More than the sensitive, shy, sexy, brown eyed puppie, he was now the foreign guy, driving a black fancy car, living in a penthouse at Barra da Tijuca and freshly divorced.
And he was no disapoitment in bed, Rachel well remembered that. The more she thought about it, the worst she felt. Not just for the present, but for their past. For the many nights she'd turned him down before she left him. She couldn't blame him for wanting to sleep with someone else after all she'd put him through.
She shook her head. What'd happened?
They'd always had this heat for each other which never seemed to die away. But Rachel's new feelings were making it hard for them to light up that fire. She drove him away both psychological and physically.
And now it was like she couldn't be atracted to anyone, anymore. It scared her sometimes to think of what she'd become. She couldn't love anyone besides her children. And she couldn't desire a man the way she did before. She would wear revealing clothes, but, still, at the same time, turn her back to her sexuality.
She looked down and the sight of her body covered by the minimal straps of the bikini Flávia had made her buy was random. She was indifferent to her flat stomach, tonned legs and full breasts.
And yet... the thought of Ross having sex with another woman - kissing her, touching her, taking her - was torture.
She had to admit...
"Mike, enough!!"
Rachel snapped out of her thoughts, startled by Ella's firm words. She'd never seen her daughter speak like that before. The little girl was shooting Mike a look and was soaked, even though her upper body was off the water.
"What's going on there?"
Ella just turned around and started waving her legs to take her another way.
"Nothing" Mike answered, lowering his water gun.
Rachel sighed. Mike and Ella rarely fought. And on the few ocasions they did, they never seemed to need her help.
They were so not like their parents, she thought.
"Kids?" came Ross' voice from inside.
"Out here, dad!" Mike cried out.
Ross stepped outside and Rachel was confused. Mike took out his gun again and poited at Ross.
"You've just stepped into my land, outsider!"
Ross chuckled and raised his arms.
"And what are you gonna do about it, Mr?"
Mike looked at his mom as if asking whether he could splash his father. Ross' look also shifted over to Rachel and his jaws dropped.
The past few days Rachel had been wandering around with this weird looking bathing suit that covered all of Rachel's interesting curves. Clearily, the exact opposite of what she was wearing now. She noticed the look on his face and blushed. She felt soft butterflies flying down her stomach and looked at her body.
It looked somewhat... different, this time.
She brushed some of her golden locks of wavy hair away from her face and looked back at Mike.
With a devilish smile, she nodded.
Mike smiled brightly and splashed Ross, who never seemed to notice what hit him.
Oh the 2nd load of water, he looked back at Mike and down at his wet suit.
"Hm, I'm gonna have to change now" he said in a gooffy soft voice.
"I thought you were just coming back later"
"Oh, right" Ross snapped out of it. "I thought maybe we could have lunch together and then I'd take you guys to the museum. I'll sort some things out while you look around and after that we could go and do something"
"Sounds like a plan. What time do you wanna leave?"
"I suppose I could join you guys for about a half hour. Then we should be leaving at around 11, is that okay?"
"Fine"
They were half way through lunch when Rachel wondered whether she should bring up Flávia's trip suggestion. On the previous afternoon, they'd briefly talked about it and Ross had seemed interested by the idea. But since they had not discussed it ever since, Rachel feared missing the oportunity. So, after she finished cutting Ella's second piece of meat, she turned to Ross.
"Hm, hey, so what did you think about Flávia's suggestion about those couple of days away?"
"I wanna go!" Mike didn't mind his mouth was full.
Ross smiled at his son and at Rachel.
"I think it's a good idea. I was just this morning seeing if I could arrange those two days off of work, in fact. I'll just have to check and see if I can get this guy to cover up for me in this meeting and he just comes in the afternoon, that's why we're going there now, actually. But I think it's a certain thing"
"Oh, good"
"Where do you guys want to go, huh?"
"What are the options?" Mike asked with an interested look.
"Well... we could go to a beach or we could go to somewhere in the mountains, or camping in national parks...!"
Mike looked thoughtful.
"Well, we got the beach here"
"True" Ross smiled.
"And we went camping last summer"
"Mountains it is, then?"
Rachel's heart beated faster at that. But Mike looked reluctant.
"I don't know...! What's to do there?"
"Well, we could go and try to find waterfalls and tracks and things like that"
Mike smiled.
"Okay then!"
Rachel smiled too and looked at Ross.
"When do you wanna leave?"
"How's friday afternoon? We can come back on sunday"
"Friday's good"
Mike was staring up at a dinosaur replica that was easily five times his size. People were passing by and smiling at the boy. Watching from a good distance, Rachel smiled too. Mike's eyes were big and curious, they barely moved. If Rachel didn't know better, she'd say he was following the instructions he'd learned watching 'Jurassic Park'. He was standing in front of a real dinosaur and was trying not to move. This way, the dinosaur would not notice his presence.
Rachel shook her head and looked around. Ella was right next to her, hand glued on hers. She was sucking on a lollipop Ross' assistant had given her and had been pretty quiet ever since they'd arrived. She looked intimidated. She always did when she was in an unfamiliar place for the first time.
They'd spent way too much time in that room, so Rachel rushed things over to be able to meet Ross at the time they'd agreed on.
"C'mon, Mike, let's go. If you want to see more of it, you can come back with your father some other time"
"Do you think he'll bring me?"
Rachel smiled.
"I'm sure of it"
Mike smiled and followed his mother.
They entered the rest of the rooms quickly. Mike kept complaining he didn't get the chance to play on the interactive games and information screens, but Rachel did not give in. She didn't like that place very much...!
Soon they entered the last room, where they were supposed to meet Ross. But he wasn't there yet. Mike ran towards a game screen and Ella slowly let go of Rachel's hand to join him. She watched her kids and smiled, they were laughing and pointing at the screen. She sighed and looked around.
One particular display caught her atention.
Right...
The homo-habilis, how could she forget?
She approached the glass and looked inside. It looked very much like the one she'd woken up with Ross they first time they spent the night together.
"Has it really been... wow, twelve years? Was that right?"
Sometimes, it seemed like it was yesterday. Sometimes it all just came so vividly in her mind. His speech about how they were lobsters. The prom tape and the kiss. That kiss... Their first time...
A chill ran up her spine and she sighed out loud, involuntarily.
When she turned around, she found Ross looking at her. From the look on his face, she knew he could tell what she was thinking about.
"Uh, the hot girl's giving you the eyes, my man. I say go for it! If your ex-wife show up, I'll stall her. What does she look like?"
Ross shot Keith, his co-worker, a look.
"That is my ex-wife"
"Oh!" Keith shook his head. "Sorry!" Ross looked back at Rachel, who was now approaching their kids. "Maybe I should go and talk to her, then"
Ross shot him a look, filled with jealousy.
"Okay, that's enough out of you! I'll see you tomorrow"
"Geez, I'm just saying if-"
Ross turned around and shot him another look.
"Okay, tomorrow it is!"
Ross sighed on his way to join the others. He was not supposed to stand there and listen to how beautiful his ex-wife was, right? He had eyes, he could see it for himself... Unfortunately.
Wow, I thought I was losing you guys, but the last round of reviews make me rethink that! :) Good to know you guys can see that I'm not stalling! I just don't really write fics that go "Oh, I'm sorry, I was wrong! Wanna make up and be happy ever after? / Yeah, okay!! / Oh, and will you marry me? / Yes, yes, yes! I love you / I love you too" haha! Sure, that's nice to read once in a while! But it's not my thing, nuh-uh!
Sooooo...! This means I'll take my time to delevop this just the way I want to! I won't do it like I did it on my last fic. I rushed things there, really! And when it was over I got reviews saying it should've been longer. Yes, it should have. But if I added more chapters, because of the way I built up the story I would indeed be stalling! And I don't like writing useless things...! So believe me, everything I write is important. Well, to me, anyway :D
This doesn't mean that we won't get sone interesting R&R action though!! So stay tunned ;) And leave me a review, please, so I can see how you're taking this and how to make this even better for you guys :) Thank you for reading!!