by Tina
Quick note before I start: Rachel's 38 years old and when I say low-cut jeans and tops and all, I don't mean anything vulgar or innapropriate for her age. I really just imagine the sort of thing both Rachel and Jennifer Aniston wear :)
Rachel tripped slightly on her way back into her room and giggled as silently as she could. She knew it wasn't just the few glasses of wine she'd had that were making her so lightheaded. However, maybe that realisation and its open acceptance just came because of the alcohol. She looked at the kids, still sleeping like the sweet little angels they were and smiled even more.
The evening with Ross had been just... there were so many adjectives she could think of to describle it. It was so natural, soft, familiar... and, most of all, reassuring. It showed her that she was wrong. Behind the posh car and beneath the new suits, the same old Ross was still there. They'd talked about the past, way back into the past. About high school, about Rachel running away on Barry and going to live with Monica.
Their relationship, however, had not been a topic discussed.
'Not the time for that', Rachel thought to herself.
And it felt good to be around him, to reminisce the so many great moments they'd lived together, even not as a couple. The beauty of their relationship laid in the fact that it was not based on mere passion. There was so much more than that.
They used to be just such good friends.
She was glad they were taking that step back. Back to that caring and sweet affection they used to share.
Maybe it could lead them to... another step back.
A much bigger one.
She quickly changed back to her pijamas and didn't have the strengh to do much else. She threw herself onto her bed, between her children and dreamed herself to sleep.
Meanwhile, in the room next door, Ross was sitting on his bed and looking down at his feet.
How was that going to help? How was that evening ever going to help him move on??
He wouldn't let himself believe that it'd been a good sign and he mentally kicked himself for letting her enchant him like that one more time. He knew he couldn't let his guard down, allow himself to be hopeful and go after her. It'd happened so many times towards the end of their marriege. One day she'd be angry. The next, again. Most of the days, in fact, she was a wreck. Then, one magical day, she'd wake up with a broad smile upon her face. She'd hold him and tell him how sorry she was, that she loved him. That she was just going through a hard phase, but not to worry, 'cause they were going to be okay.
And the next moment, she was a mess one more time.
Untill one day, finally, it was goodbye forever.
That double behavior of hers could not fool him again. He knew that. But why did he let it happen?
He sighed.
It was stronger than him, wasn't it? She smiled his way and he couldn't help it, anymore.
'Well, you're going to have to start trying harder now, then' he told himself as he remembered she was leaving in a week.
You're not gonna make it easier for her to hurt you even deeper again. He wasn't sure he could take it one more time.
Without even bothering to change, Ross laid down on his bed and cried himself to sleep.
Rachel was slower than usual, taking some time to get both Mike and Ella set to go down for breakfast the next morning. The headache that kept her from being quicker was, however, not frowned upon. It was simply a little gift from the night before, which she didn't regred. In fact, she couldn't wait to see him again. To look into his eyes and actually smile, thanks to a bottle of wine that healed most of her feelings.
Not exactly the wine, but...
Her smile was still fresh when they reached the restaurant and spot Ross saving them a table. Mike ran up to him and Ella also quickened up her pace, following her brother.
"Morning, dad!"
Mike hugged Ross.
"Morning, son"
They broke the hug and Rachel watched as Ross' eyes shone brightly when they spot Ella waiting for her hug.
"G'morning, daddy!"
Ross hugged her and kissed the top of her head.
"Good morning, sweet heart"
Rachel approached and for once wished he'd also hug her and kiss her like that.
Hm, or maybe not exactly like that.
"Good morning" she smiled at him.
"Morning"
She was surprised to see a plainly polite smile. She stood behind the back of a chair and looked down, for a moment.
"Okay, kids, let's go to the buffay"
Stading there next to the serving table while Ella and Mike discussed something about their food, Rachel looked back at Ross and frowned. He was looking down at his plate, eating quietly. What happened to that bright smile from last night? Their loose ways and welcoming eyes? No, she wouldn't let their memory fade like that. It'd meant a lot to her, she needed to know it'd meant just as much to him.
When they were back to the table, Rachel grabbed her cup of coffee and smiled at Ross.
"Boy, do I need this. My head's still spinning from last night"
Mike looked up, confused.
"What about last night?"
"Nothing, Mike" Ross said and Rachel's heart broke.
"Do you like that?" Ross pointed to something in Mike's place. He seemed eager to change the subject.
Mike put it into his mouth - a round tiny bun covered with sugar and cinnamon - and nodded.
"That's called bolinho de chuva. You know what that means?" Mike shook his head. "It means little rain cake"
Ella giggled and Ross smiled at her.
"Here, try this" Ross cut something from his plate and put into Mike's.
"Do you also want some, Ella?"
She nodded.
"It's tapioca"
Rachel simply watched, as an outsider, an intruder. Then she lowered her sight and ate.
Clearily, it had not meant that much to him...
That saturday, they'd decided to find a waterfal and have a picnic. Because of the kids, however, it had to be somewhere close. Thankfully, actually, because both Ross and Rachel also seemed too tired to go tracking. Possibly, it wasn't that the kids were too young; they were getting too old for this.
The atmosphere remained quiet and uncomfortable between them. Rachel mainly watched as Ross bonded with their kids. It gave her time to think about how different his life must be when they were not there. No one to go home to, no one to take out, to bring videos and food to, to share his stories with.
'No, that must be what the girlfriends are for', she thought o herself, feeling even lower.
Still, she knew he loved those kids. Knowing she possibly couldn't take life without them, she coudn't begin to imagine how he must feel.
She sat down on a rock and watched as Ross picked Ella up and brushed the tip of her toes over the survace of the water, near the waterfall. The toddler squealed and brought her tiny little legs closer to her body, out of the water.
"It's cold, daddy!!"
Rachel sighed, she'd never seen Ella this happy before.
At night, after a brief stop at the inn so they could take showers and change, they were having dinner in one of the restaurants Flávia had recomended. The suggestion, however, had been his. But it was not what Rachel expected. The whole time he was talking to the kids, barely paying atention to the fact that she was also there.
When they were deciding on deserts, an atractive woman aproached their table. Rachel looked at Ross and noticed his smile.
"Clara?"
"Ross!"
They hugged and Rachel shifted herself on her seat, uncomfortable. She looked at her children and saw both of them looking up at this Clara woman. She was tall, beautiful. Looked younger, Rachel noticed. 27, at most! Long brown hair, brown eyes. Good sense of fashion, though Rachel thought she could use a little more fabric on her chest area.
"Hey, how are you? It's been a while" Rachel noticed she had an accent.
"I'm good, just good. Hm, look, these are my children, Ella and Mike"
Clara smiled brightly.
"Oh, they're so cute. God, she looks just like you"
Ross stroked Ella's hair as he went on.
"And that's my ex-wife, Rachel"
"Hey, nice to meet you"
The politeness in her voice disgusted Rachel.
"Right back at ya"
Ross was slightly annoyed with the subtle sarcasm in Rachel's words.
"Who are you?" Mike asked and Rachel could give her son a new video game for that.
Clara exchanged looks with Ross.
"Well, I'm Clara. I worked for your dad at the museum"
"Oh, another paleontologist" Rachel had to control herself not to roll her eyes. For the way she'd exchanged looks with Ross, Rachel could tell that was not all there was to tell. And she hated Clara for that.
Ross shot her a look.
"No, actually, I work with interior designing. I designed his office and pretty much every other room in that museum"
"Yes, Rachel, remember how you once said you liked the way that desk was placed in aligment with the window? And how the color of the walls went really well with the furniture?"
Rachel kept watching Ross' repressive looks with fury builting up inside of her.
Clearily, however, it was not fury. It was simply jealousy.
She moved her sight back to Clara and sighed.
"So, tell me, wasn't your dad like the man who sponsored everything and paid for the construction?"
Clara looked at Rachel for a few seconds and sighed, offended. So it was not her talented that got her there, huh?
Ross raised his hand up to face, while Rachel's stare was still fixated on Clara.
"Yes" After a pause, she looked back at Ross. "Well, I'll see you around. Nice meeting you" Rachel gave her a fake smile. Clara turned to Ross, looking even worse "Good seeing you again, Ross"
"You too"
Ross and Clara kissed each one of their cheeks. Rachel watched with disgust. Clara noticed the look on her face and decided she was not going to leave that table gazing at the floor. She looked back at Ross and smiled.
"We should get together sometime"
"That's a good idea"
"Here, this is my new phone number" Clara handed him a card. "Call me"
"I will"
"Alright, I'll see you some other time, then"
"See you, bye"
One more time, they kissed each other's cheeks and she left. Rachel watched with something else filling her now. A sense of loss, emptiness.
'Yeah, he's slept with her...'
Ross sat back down and shot Rachel a look. Respecting the children's presence, however, he didn't say a word.
O-kay! Just because I didn't want to rush things, I had to write this chapter, as much as it pains me. Ouch. Things should get more interesting next chapter though, so watch out for that! Oooops, have I said too much? lmao!! :)
I'm in a bit of a rush right now, so I won't write much else...! But I wanna make it clear that... yes, reviews are still very much welcome! :) See ya... tomorrow, maybe? ;)