The elevator stopped, and the doors slid open just long enough for them to walk through. As they could see, lawyers were walking about constantly, on both floors of the huge firm.Stan stumbled backward, as a man with red-tinged skin and tentacles protruding from his chin bumped into him. "Whoa, sorry man!" he said, quickly patting Stan on the back.
"Uh...that's okay," Stan squeaked, as Xev pulled him out of harm's way. "Any idea on what this place is?" she asked.
They walked past a desk with the firm's logo across the front in gold letters, and a blonde secretary took notice of them. The secretary's desk was cluttered with ceramic unicorns and her nametag, which read "Harmony" in pink letters. Xev leaned over the counter and said, "Excuse me, the people outside said that your boss is-"
"Angel?" said the blonde woman. "He's in his office with a client, but I can-"
Before she had the chance to finish, a huge orange monster came bursting out of an office just a ways from under the stairs. It had red eyes, and gigantic horns like a buffalo's, and seemed to be dressed in the entrails of its various victims. Stan whimpered, his eyes widening, and turned to run back to the elevator, but Xev caught him by the arm, as Kai stepped in front of them, priming his brace.
Three men came running out of the office behind the monster. One of them was tall, with dark hair that stuck up slightly off his forehead, and carried what was obviously a small battle axe. The second wasn't clean shaven like the other two, nor was he as muscular, but also had dark hair like the first man, and was holding a large leather-bound book.
The third man had a darker complexion than the other two, and was bald. He had no weapon, but he didn't hesitate to attack the creature with his fist as the smaller man with the book shouted, "Gunn, wait! A Pneumer demon cannot be-"
The dark man's fist was caught in the creature's and it proceeded to fling him across the room. The man with the axe ducked a backward blow from the now angry beast, and the man with the book shouted, "Go for it's... never mind,"
He didn't have time to finish, as Kai's brace gave the screeching sound that it always made before making contact with a target. It cut into the beast's flesh at the throat, and Kai made a slight tug at the cable, and tore it's windpipe out of it's throat in an instant. The bleeding creature fell face forward onto the floor as Kai retracted his weapon, pushing it back into place on his arm. He looked around to make sure that there was no other enemy, and crossed the room to where Gunn had fallen. He offered his hand to him, and helped him to his feet. "Are you all right?" Kai asked blandly.
"Yeah, thanks," said Gunn. "Warn me sooner next time, Wes!"
Xev and Stan saw it was safe to stand at Kai's side again, and came toward the group. "Good work, Kai," said Xev.
"And you just killed one of our clients," said the man with the axe with a sigh.
"It did not seem that there was another appropriate way of action," said Kai.
"That's all right," Gunn chimed in. "We were about to sue him for all he had anyway,"
"Uh, hi," said Stan. "I'm Stanley Tweedle, captain of the most destructive force in the two universes, so if you don't tell us now-"
"Peaches!" another voice called out, and everyone's attention immediately turned to a platinum blonde man strolling down the hall. He didn't look like he belonged in a law firm at all. He looked more like he belonged at a rock concert, and seemingly the only person (aside from Gunn) in the entire building wearing a t-shirt and Stan winced as he noticed that he was carrying the head of the spiny creature from downstairs. "Angel, the bloody security guard's gone bonkers again," he said.
"It's your problem, Spike! You said you wanted a job around here!" said Angel.
"Janitor wasn't along the lines of what I was thinking, though!" said Spike. "Can't I-"
"No," said Angel.
"But-" Spike persisted.
"No," said Angel.
Kai fixed his eyes on Spike. "This was no doing of your security guard. I was the one who killed him," he said. 'There was no other option,"
Spike nearly laughed when he saw Kai, or more likely, Kai's subnormal hairstyle. "Bloody hell, mate, what sort of demon are you?"
"I am not a demon," said Kai, traces of what passed for anger lacing through his voice. "I am Kai, Last of the Brunnen-G,"
Wesley paged through his book. "And the Brunnen-G are what sort of vampire clan-"
"He's not a vampire, either!" Xev interjected. "Kai is just Kai,"
She pushed past the rest of the group so she stood face to face with Spike. "Hi," she said, smiling sweetly. "I'm Xev,"
"Well, hello luv," said Spike, with a lusty grin.
A loud thump on the second level made everyone turn their attention to a small, thin woman wearing a skin-tight red bodysuit of some sort, and blue-brown hair, come charging down the stairs angrily, with a demon limping down the stairs after her. The woman had bulging insect-like eyes, light blue in color, and unblinking. She was pale, except for the fact that her forehead, and neck were just as blue as her hair, and despite her small physique, everyone stopped rushing around as she passed, either ducking into nearby offices or just dodging to get out of her way. The demon had green skin, and short red horns protruding from his forehead, and he gripped the stair railing in one green hand and his head in the other, shouting " 'Lyrie, babe, you coulda just said excuse me, you know! You didn't have to throw me!"
"Silence, worm!" the woman shouted.
She stopped in front of the group, and regarded Stan, Xev, and Kai with an icy glare from her pale blue eyes, then turned her attention to Wesley. "He bores me," she said promptly. "He too quickly begs for mercy when I pummel him,"
"Well if my heart weren't in my buttcheek, I wouldn't-" the demon began.
"I told you to be silenced!" the woman snapped.
"Illyria," Wesley interjected. "These are our guests,"
Illyria turned and looked at Stan, and circled him as if he were prey. "Is it always this crazy?" said Stan, trembling slightly.
"Never a dull moment," said Angel. "Lorne, I thought I told you to occupy her,"
"Wanna see the scars on my spleen?" Lorne said angrily.
"Hey, I didn't know you had a spleen," said Angel.
"You reek of fear," said Illyria, leaving Stan, and focusing her attention on Xev for the moment.
Lorne looked at Kai, and winced at his odd hair as well. "Sweetie, you gotta find someone better to do your hair," he said.
Kai simply disregarded Lorne, as Illyria inspected Xev. "This one is not human," she said. "However, your inferiority to me is visible. Your lust for this bulbous-haired man is seething off you like fluid,"
Xev growled at Illyria in the cluster-lizard tounge, who proceeded to glare back. "Impudent mortal!" said Illyria, raising her fist.
Kai grabbed her wrist. "That is highly unwise," he said.
"Illyria, please," Wesley said quickly. "It's not right to kill new guests,"
The blue-haired demon seemed to think a while, and then relented as Kai released her. "I did that because it suited me," she said huffily.
"As Stanley was about to state, we are in no need of a lawyer. We are in need of food for our ship," said Kai.
"Okay, we have food. Come on into my office, though. The Pneumer Demon's clan is waiting in the cafeteria," said Angel.
"Why?" said Stan.
"Pneumer demons tend to rip the heads off of anyone who has killed someone of the clan," said Wesley, shutting his book. "Dreadful way to go,"