Ok, it's not all bad, Johnny's toynapped my best friend, stolen all the dirt we've got on him and knows about my relationship with Enrique……… but it can't be all bad can it? There has to be something good that comes out of all this? WHO AM I KIDDING? MY LIFE IS OVER! I fell melodramatically on to my bed with a thud picking up the discarded fluff from Ruffer to marvel at it one last time before my inevitable death. Suddenly Enrique burst through my door.
"Oliver, I think I just solved all our problems!" He said with a really, really bug grin on his face. Is there really a cure for fungus? Oh wait I don't think he meant ALL of our problems, cause I have quite a few, some he doesn't even know about.
"Really how?" I asked. He grinned even wider, if that's possible?
"Well remember when we taking the pictures of Johnny and Robert in the shower that day?" I nodded as he continued. "WELL do you remember you set up a camera to film the whole thing?" Now it was my turn to smile. This is the best news I've heard since quick came in vanilla flavour! "The only thing that could possibly go wrong is if you misplaced it, or if Johnny and Robert found it?"
"Nah!!! They wouldn't have found it! They wouldn't have known which one to get cause I didn't name it. And NO I didn't lose it, it's in my top draw!" That sounds all to familiar…….. oh well. I opened my draw and dug out the blank tape.
"I think we should set a screening of this for Johnny and Robert, just so they know what we've got in stall for them" Great idea Enrique! Lets go! I followed him down stairs, I set up the tape while he went to rally Johnny and Ribbet I mean Robert….. Ribbet… Ribbet…… starts hopping around like a frog ……. cough cough sorry about that…..Great now every time I see Robert he's going to make me think of a frog! Anyway enough of that. Now which one of these remotes is the one of these remotes is for the VCR? Eeny meeny miny mo……I choose….. that one! I slipped the tape in to the VCR and sat down waiting for Enrique to return with those to meany weanies. I smiled to myself when they entered the room.
"After you have seen what we have to show you, you'll be preying for mercy!" Enrique said looking at me, his eyes telling me to turn the tape on. Johnny and Robert rolled their eyes taking a seat across the room from me. I presses the 'on' button. The remote made a funny noise.
"Oliver why are you holding the portable phone?" Johnny asked smirking. I knew it was a bit to bulky to be the remote. I put on a shake smile and turned the phone off, and Enrique pressed play on the tape manually. The tape started with a blank screen, and went to a wide screen view of the front of the house. Hmmm….. that's strange, I thought I gave this to Enrique to send to his mum…… wait a sec if this tape is here then the other tape is at Enrique's mum's…………..shit!
"Did you bring us down here to show us a boring tape of Oliver's house?" Johnny asked. "I don't think this is going to make us preying for mercy!" Frog boy nodded at Johnny's statement. You know? For once I agree with Johnny. Enrique looked at me, his eyes wide.
"Oliver is this……." I nodded "So if this is here, then……." I nodded again "………shit" GREAT! Now we're up shit creak with out a paddle! Robert squinted.
"What's going on" He asked. Enrique explained. I tried not to completely freak out. All I did was rock backwards and forwards on my chair…….don't panic, don't panic, it'll be fine, juuuussst fine.
After Enrique had finished his 'explanation' of the problem we were now facing. Roberts face went a bright pink. Hey what do you know, that colour looks good on him.
"So your telling me, that your mum, has a tape with Johnny and myself wearing nothing, in a very unflattering situation" Robert asked slowly and nervously. Well not quite how I would have put it, this is how it should be said "SHE HAS A TAPE OF YOU AND JOHNNY FALLING OVER EACH OTHER NAKED IN THE SHOWER! And there was so much frikken movement you look like two horney rabbits fucking in to next Wednesday!" Yeah I think that works. Enrique just nodded Roberts way, now his face paled considerable. I've never seen anyone's face change colour so fast, it went from pink to white in a matter of seconds. Johnny on the other hand, I could tell is he was on the verge of laughing hysterically or throwing a piano off a tall building. But theres something about the situation that tells me, neither are in the mood for a little 'sing a long' Celebrate good times… come on!! Well ya know what I did could actually turn in to a good thing. I mean it's not like it was anything incriminating on the tape about me an Enrique, it was just about Johnny and Robert so, this shouldn't worry me! Should it? Enrique's mum IS pretty protective so she might drag Enrique kicking and screaming back to Italy after seeing that. I know I would if I saw that kind of tape containing two people that MY son lived with. This could be bad! Will we lose Enrique……. Forever? Oh damn! I was going for a dramatic ending of the chapter there, BUT the author tells me the we're only half way. She has this thing that puts on stupid prissy voice every chapter has to be at least 2 pages long! Stupid idiot porcupine head! SOOOO now I've got to fill up a whole nother page groans fun, fun! If you didn't notice, I was being sarcastic!
Back in my room with Enrique I stared at him as he messed up his hair with his fists. He knows that this could be the end of his stay in France and it could be back to Italy by tomorrow!
"This is it! I'm going to die" He groaned finally sitting down from his pacing of the room.
"Oh well you've lived a good life!"
"I'm only 19!" He yelled as if I were stupid! I rolled my eyes.
"I said good, not long!" Well I did! This isn't working! We need to think of a good plan to get us out of this. I know! We'll dress up as black chicks and run away to Jamaica! Brilliant! His mum would never think to look for us there!
"Hey Enrique! I know what we can do to get us out of this mess!" I said proudly, he looked at me with relief.
"Ok what is it?" I grinned.
"We can dress up as two black chicks and ………." Before I could finish he butted in.
"I know, I know! And run off to Jamaica! Oliver that's your plan for everything!" He groaned. Well I spose it does sound a lot better in my head! But he didn't even give the idea a chance! I don't think he realise just how convincing make up can look these days!
"Oliver, we need to think of something! Fast! Mum could have already received the tape and be watching it right now!" Calm down Enrique.
"Maybe it got lost in the mail, I seem to be cursed. I send my mum stuff all the time but for some reason, she never gets it. It just gets ….. lost" I offered weakly, but Enrique just took in a deep breath and stood back up to regain his pacing.
"I'm not that lucky" Te he! I could have taken that totally the wrong way! But because I have an innocent mind, I'm not going to. giggles looks around suspiciously You can't prove that I was thinking anything!
"Well I'm sorry Enrique but I don't now what to tell you?" He groaned inwardly.
"This is all my fault!" Oh that's good! It's usually my fault. "How could I have been so stupid as to let you keep the tape in YOUR room? I should have known it was a recipe for disaster!" Hold on a sec! Why is he being a bitch? What did I do? All I did was send his mum the wrong tape which may as well have been porn in stead of the house… When I say it like that it sounds bad….. But it's not as bad as it sounds. I'm just happy that it wasn't me on the tape……. O O O I just came up with a brilliant idea!!! Time travel! We travel back in time and switch the tapes around before Enrique can send it to his mum, and then we decide that we love time travel SOOO much that it becomes our job, and we start a business when people who screw something up and want to go back in time and fix it can, and our slogan will be….
Who needs "Hakuna matata"?
Screw " if it's not broke, don't fix it"!
Did you fuck something up and want to have another go?
Well there is a way.
And so on and so forth! Ok it sounded so much better in my head! Wait a sec, it's not like I said it out loud, so technically it was in my head! Wow! I thought logically and didn't confuse myself. There's something for the record book! I really have to stop insulting myself, its becoming a habit. Enough of that now what was Enrique talking about? Oh that's right, he was just blaming himself for what happened and managing to make me feel bad as well, this boy is multi talented.
"Enrique don't blame yourself…….. Enrique?" Where'd he go? That'd be right! He just packs up and leaves me! So this is what it feels like to be rejected? Wait a sec, if I was so zonked out while I was thinking, how embarrassing would it be if he was trying to tell me something important and I was just ignoring him? And so maybe he thinks I hate him? gasps whines AND NOW HE'LL WANT TO BREAK UP WITH ME!!!! …… ok wait, relax. Don't over react. I'm over thinking this. Enrique wouldn't break up with me….. would he?……..nah…looks around suspiciously ….. smiles widely GUESS WHAT?!?! This chapter is finally long enough for me to stop crapping on about nothing jumps up and down SOOOOOO That means the end of this lovely cough cough chapter. So now all you readers can get off the internet and do something constructive with your day…… like go and stare at that trippy multi coloured glass, that I know you have hanging in your house….somewhere, and so I can go to ………sleep….yes sleep. rolls eyes As if I was going to go and stare at the glass!! NO WAY!!!…….. ok but just don't tell NE1!!! Ok I'm going to go now…. SO BUB bye!!
PLEEEEZZZ R & R. I'm feeling un loved. Reviews are slowing down. sobs I'm losing inspiration….. Ok enough wif the guilt.
Pleaze no flames….. or they'll be used to burn money. And I can't afford to do that! PWEEEZZE
Cya in da next chapter!! Ideas and help for future plot would be gr8 and helpful!