by Tina
"What?!"
Ross' mind raced. Mike knew? How could this happen? And where was he?? By the look on Rachel's face, this was really serious. He looked around and found the kitchen door ajar. His jaws dropped down and he ran out. As he stepped outside the hall, he realised Rachel had followed him.
"You go down and I'll go up!"
"No, Rachel, you stay!"
"No-n-no, Mike, w-we got- got to find him, I-"
Ross held her by her arms and tried to snap her from her histerical state. His voice was steady, calm and soothing.
"Listen, I'll go and find him. You stay and look around carefully, okay? Ella's really scared too, you must stay here with her, okay?"
Rachel nodded after a while, slightly and quickly.
"Hm, okay"
He let go of her and turned to look down the stairs, the way he figured Mike must'd taken.
"Find our son, Ross"
He turned around quickly, surprised. Rachel had a haunted look in her eyes, it terrified him to his very soul.
Their son.
"I will"
She watched as he turned around again and left down the stairs, calling out for Mike. Her sight lowered to the ground and she took a deep breath. This was so typical of Mike. He always disappeared sometimes, as if trying to test them, she figured. Or maybe he just wanted to be alone for a while. She hoped Ross would find him. He had to! But then again, even if he did... Rachel knew the bigger damage would most likely be if Mike had indeed overheard their argument.
Even though there was nothing in this world that would make Mike stop loving Ross, she knew this could still cause big damage. Ross was always so weird about it, now Rachel knew why. Many times he'd told her about his fear of Mike rejecting him as a daddy if he knew, wanting to know his real father and ending up loving him more. She always thought it was ridiculous. But now... she understood.
On the stairs, Ross reached the ground level and still no sign of Mike. Had he by any chance gone inside an apartment? He decided to check the ground level first. His eyes quickly ran across the pool deck, the tennis court and the path leading outside.
"Mike?? Come on, son, let's go upstairs and talk! Mike?"
He reached up the entrance and asked the bellman if he knew of Mike's where-abouts. After a negative response, he continued his search.
It'd happened. The thing he feared the most had happened. Sure he always thought the right thing to do was to tell Mike the truth. He always thought unlegitimate children too should know about their past. Maybe this way they'd understand really just how much their parents loved them. And not just 'cause they had to.
But... he couldn't. He claimed he feared Mike wouldn't understand, and that was true. But the main reason happened to be that Ross really, really wished Mike was his. And even though it didn't make much sense, he always thought that by keeping it a secret, it would happen.
Or at least it would keep him closer to it.
To everybody's eyes, it was him who'd been with Rachel and blended his traces with hers. It was his last name in Mike's birth certificate after all, wasn't it? It was he who instructed Rachel to push, who cut the umbelical chord and taught him how to use a spoon.
He wished Mike would remember that.
If he could find Mike...
Ross was getting desperate. He was running around now, crying out louder.
About an hour later, he gave up and went upstairs. Rachel opened the door for him.
"And??"
"I'm calling the cops!"
Rachel's expression looked even worse.
"What?"
"I can't find him!!" Ross shouted.
"Oh my God"
Rachel sat down on a chair and let her tears run free. Ross eyed her as he took the phone and brushed tears away. She didn't even notice as he left the room holding the phone. She just rested her face in her hands and cried non-stop.
This couldn't be happening.
When she finally calmed down enough, she got up and looked around for Ross. She heard noises coming from his room and stood by the half open door. Peeking inside, she saw Ross crying on his bed. Ella was moving closer to him, curious and sympathetic. Rachel had never seen such beautiful expression in her daughter's face.
Ross seemed to be oblivious to his daughter's presence. He kept on crying and was surprised by Ella's touch. She stroke his arm and he looked down at her.
"Are you okay, daddy?"
Ross didn't know what to say. After so much time of loneliness, he'd forgotten what it was like to have someone around when you needed them. A friendly face through dark times, a shoulder to cry on. Eyes that could quickly comfort him. Specially such beautiful eyes of such a beautiful little girl.
Everything was so surreal. Ella looked like an angel.
"Oh, sweetie..."
Ross brushed his tears away and Ella hugged him. He was taken aback, but gladly hugger her back, bringing her to sit on his lap. Ella stroked her father's hair and whispered.
"It's gonna be okay, daddy"
Rachel was breathless and her tears ran free, more than ever. How did Ella know just what to say?
What a truly beautiful scene.
She looked down, so low... This was all her fault. She pressed her back against the wall and slid down.
Minutes later, Ross stepped outside and faced her. He looked back into his room, where Ella was now trying to sleep in his bed and closed the door. Rachel looked up at him in time to see him kneeling down next to her.
"What did they say?" she asked.
Ross looked down.
"Nothing they can do so far, we have to wait a little longer"
He looked surprisingly calm, but Rachel knew he was just mantaining such position to keep her from panicking. And she loved him for that.
"What are we gonna do??"
"I've just called Hugh and Flávia, they're on their way over. We're gonna look some more and we're gonna find him, alright?" Rachel just nodded, still frightened. "Have you checked the whole house?"
"Yes. I- I think so"
"Okay, we can check again. C'mon"
He stood up and offered a hand to help her up. She hesistated, then looked down.
Should she tell him? Finally?
It could make him feel better. Or maybe worse.
"I have to tell you something"
He looked down at her and, after a while, nodded.
"Okay"
With that, he knelt down next to her again.
She looked down and up at him again, not knowing how to say it.
"The night... I got pregnant with Mike..." her voice was shaky. Ross looked down and Rachel got his hand. He looked up at her again and she went on "...The guy I, I slept with..." she bite her lower lip and kept watching Ross, who looked a bit curious himself. Even though it hurt, sometimes he couldn't help but wonder. "It was Patrick. Hm, you know, your- your old neighbour."
Ross didn't know what to think. He looked around and then back at Rachel. When he spoke, his voice came as a whisper.
"Wow, what-"
"I was looking for you" she cut him.
He stared at her.
"What?"
"That night, I... I was looking for you. And- and you weren't home"
"So you... you slept with my neighbour?"
"I was devastated that night, Ross, I just-"
"Wanted someone to fuck you to consolate you?? Is that why Mike was born?"
He stood up. It seemed like a silly reason why his son ended up being born. He deserved more!
And also... it could had been him.
"No, Ross!" her voice was firm. "I was looking for you, not for anyone"
"But clearily anyone did it!"
Rachel stood up aswell.
"I was looking for you because I knew you would make me feel better. You always did, Ross. You just had to look at me and I felt better! I went in there 'cause I wanted to talk, because I missed you! I had already realised I loved you, Monica's wedding plans made me see that! But when I went into your builting and saw you weren't there, I knew I'd lost you! I knew you were off in a date with someone else... Even if you weren't, it didn't matter, 'cause I thought you didn't love me anymore! So I freaked out, okay?? I was lonely and I was sad. And yes, I did something stupid. But I don't regred it, 'cause I got Mike out of it! And of course, I wish he'd been concieved in a much better way, but it's in the past now! What matters is that we love him and we- we have to find him, Ross..." she was hysterical again "...and- and tell him we love him and that he's your son. He's your son, isn't he, Ross?"
Ross was overwhelmed with so much information. He couldn't help but wrap his arms around Rachel and calm her down.
"Of course he is. And we're gonna find him, okay? He can't be too far, he can't get out of the builting"
Rachel kept on crying on his shoulder and he softly rocked her.
Talk about two eventful weeks...
Instinctively, he kissed the top of her head.
"It's gonna be okay..."
Yeah, sappy, I know...!
Replying a few reviews here ;) First, to the annonimous reader... I soooo know what you mean. I also think I'm putting obstacles all over the place here, too much for my taste, really. That was not what I had in mind when I started. But I also didn't want things to be too easy. I'm sort of basing this on personal experiences (though nothing of this kind has ever happened to me, haha!), the whole confusion thing...! As it turns out, it's hard to put into words!
As for the whole Mike thing, I had planned that since the conception of the fic, so I couldn't leave it aside.
Which brings me to a point brought up by Existaris.. See, I understand getting pregnant from a one night stand is very unlikely, specially with protection. But I am using the ideas from the show! I'm just making it another guy, not Ross.
For the other reviewers: mwah, thank you :) See ya next chapter :) Reviews? Still welcome!