A/N: As promised this is the last chapter, forgive me if it's a little too mushy for your taste, but I can't help it if I'm a sucker for a happy ending! Thanks a lot to all of you who reads my fic and most especially to those who sends me their review. I hope you'll love it!
(disclaimer, spoilers, etc.. see prev chaps)
Chapter 12: Twenty one years later
Sara, Warrick, Nick and Catherine are all seated inside the break room with their cup of coffee all engaged to a conversation about Adam Copperfield when Jim Brass walked in.
"Hey Brass" all greeted Jim.
"Are you guys going to watch Copperfield's execution?" Sara asked
"Of course" Nick replied
"I wouldn't miss it for the world. What about you Cath?" Warrick asked
"No."
None of them dared to ask why or even considered convincing her.
"The gang would be coming tonight, for the CSI get together on Thursday, Ecklie is picking Rick up at the airport, the others are already checked in at the hotel. Want to come with me and see them?" Brass offered
"No thanks, I have somewhere else to go to." Catherine sighed, and then gave a light smile to her co workers before standing up. When she was on her way out the door, Gil was on his way in.
"Oh. Um. Excuse me" Catherine said with her eyes focused on the floor, not bothering to glance at the man she almost bumped to.
Catherine got out of her car and walked towards the edifice has not been on for years. She walked inside, and for the first time in twenty one years, she finally got the courage to come there. She walked forward with her eyes never leaving the altar. When she finally stopped, she took her seat and sighed.
It has been one week since that day when she woke up in his arms and since that day she has been ignoring and avoiding him. Acting like nothing happened that night, acting like nothing ever happened to them at all in the past, just causes her heart to ache and the best way to stop it from hurting is to just avoid him.
For the past years thinking that it never happened, or rather, not thinking about it at all has been a very successful way of having some kind of peace of mind. That incident on that night of November 1983 was just unbearable to have in her memory that the only way she could deal with it is to pretend that, that and everything else never happened, and frankly what made the memory of that incident painful is not really the incident itself, but what happened afterwards. Everything was wonderful, nothing could ever match the kind of happiness she found, and if she keeps it in her memory that once, a long, long time ago she has experienced to love and to be loved truly, would of course make her smile but the smile would soon fade coz whether she admits it or not knowing that she lost all of that makes her heart bleed.
What she thought she has already moved on from is still there. The wound may not be as fresh, but the mark of the cut is still there. There in her heart, though she has tried to deny and hide it, the scar of the past has remained.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------December 1983
One week ago Catherine told Gil that they both need space, and now he's already in the plane on his way to San Francisco.
Just last month, this day was Catherine's most anticipated day. At this exact day and time, she was suppose to be walking down the aisle in a striking white gown, with her friends and loved ones sitting on the bench watching her walk towards the altar where the love of her life is waiting for her.
Instead, here she is at the same place, but not in a wedding gown but in casual denims, blouse and a white coat.
She isn't walking down the aisle, she's sitting on the bench.
She isn't staring into those blue eyes she love very much, coz here she is staring blankly in the space.
And most of all, she's here talking to God, no, not to take a vow and undergo the sacrament of matrimony but to pray that everything will be alright.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Twenty one years ago, she was seated at this very same spot, December of 1983 .... and a year after, she got married, no not in this church but to a small chapel. Tears again starting to roll down her eyes, she never expected she would have to face her fairy tale love life which ended up like a nightmare ever again.
As she was wiping her tears away, she felt a hand touched her shoulder; she didn't need to turn around to know who it is.
"What are you doing here?"
"To come for you"
The man behind her removed his hands from her shoulder and walked over to sit beside her. Staring at the altar, he asked, "Why did you marry Eddie?"
"Gil, when I was getting married with Eddie years ago, you already asked me that, and I have told you already and the answer is still the same"
"But you never did answer me, all you told me is to leave you."
"And you did."
"And you married him. A year before that you told me you love me yet you married another man"
"I never loved anyone the way I loved you. "
"Then, why - "
"Coz I was scared and I blamed myself for what I put you through!"
"I told you I'm coming back"
"You did, but I wasn't sure if you are coming back TO me."
"You didn't have enough faith in me?"
"No not that. It's just that I loved you too much. Too much that I wanted the best for you, and that's to give you up."
With that statement, Gil turned his gaze to the woman beside him. Catherine is still gazing forward, "You never called me when you were in San Francisco, that's when I thought that you would be better off without me. I hated myself when you almost died, you almost lost your life, I almost completely lost you. I felt like I wasn't worthy to have you." Catherine turned her gaze to Gil; they looked into each other's eyes for a brief moment then looked away.
"When I was in San Francisco, I never called coz I want you to have the space you wanted to have. I was also scared to come back, I wasn't sure if you'd want me back, I wanted the best for you, and one incident turned both of our lives upside down and I thought you were blaming me ... and I blamed myself too, I call on Brass to ask how you're doing that's when I learned you're with Eddie again."
"I used him to get over everything. I accepted the fact that I lost you as my lover, I didn't want to loose you as my friend, and I thought Eddie could help me throught that. And about the incident well thinking about it now, that incident wasn't either of ours' fault, but the after math of it ... well that's our mistake, we should have talked about it, instead we assumed and decided on what's best for each other, on our own"
"Well, it seems like we've been thinking of the same thing all along"
"Yea"
Gil looked at Catherine then said, "I still love you. I've watched you go in and out of relationships with other men wondering when you will ever come back to me"
Catherine looked back at Gil, "I've been entering relationships coz I wanted to find love and security, and I do, it's just that it never made me happy, I was never contented. There's always something missing. It's so hard to stick on with the average once you've felt how it is to have the best."
"Why else do you think I never looked for anyone else?"
"Coz I traumatized you!" Catherine joked, though it was half meant.
She was not sure how this talk will end, or to where it is heading. She wasn't even sure if what's happening is for real or if she's imagining things, what she wants right now is to make the atmosphere lighter.
Gil rolled his eyes playfully, "No!" and gave a little chuckle. "I have found in you all I'm looking for, and I've been regretting the day I lost you all this years."
"It looks like we've been feeling and thinking of the same thing again!"
"Are you thinking of what I'm thinking now?"
"I'm not sure. Well, what are you thinking about?"
"Marrying you"
Catherine chuckled and looked away, if it is a joke, it's a very bad one, coz it hurts.
"Several years before, in one of our conversations, you told me you'd marry me no matter what."
"Gil quit teasing; let's go meet Brass, his with the old team right now." Catherine stood up, as she walked pass Gil, Gil grabbed her hand, he stood up and he pulled her back to him and crashed his lips to hers.
Catherine was taken by surprise, and in a matter of moments she melted in his kiss. Gil's hand traveled around her back, he pulled her closer to him and deepens the kiss. The kiss was full of passion, of the long years of longing and desire ...
After some minutes, they stopped to get some air, "I was not kidding."
"Please don't say it if you don't mean it, coz I might do something crazy like believe it."
"Believe it." He said firmly.
A grin spread across Catherine's face and tears started to form behind her eyes, she cupped his face, and she touched it and stared at him for a moment. "I never stopped from loving you"
"Does this mean it's a yes?"
"It was a yes several years ago and it still is."
"Is it okay if we get married now, even without preparations?"
Catherine nodded, "I never want to loose you again"
"You never lost me. When I gave my whole heart and self to you I never got the chance to get it back."
Again they closed the distance of their lips. When they stopped, Gil looked at her and promised, "After today, we'll get married again, with gowns and tux and a reception, but right now I just want you to be my wife."
"Believe me that's what I want too. But we need rings."
"You think I came here unprepared?" Gil feigned disappointment. He reached from his pocket and retrieved a box which held two gold band rings.
"This are -"
"Our wedding rings, I kept it."
Catherine giggled and kissed Gil on the cheek. "You are unbelievable!" Gil chuckled as they both stared at the rings.
"You think it still fits?"
"Hopefully! Anyway if it doesn't, it won't matter we'll buy new wedding rings to our next wedding."
Catherine and Gil went to the Parish office which has just opened, and luckily the papers which they have submitted years ago in preparation of their wedding were still there.
After the ceremony, as they walked out the church hand in hand with perfect fitting wedding rings on their fingers ....
"So Mrs. Grissom, what are we going to do now?"
"Well. We'll go meet my daughter to tell her the news"
"And our honeymoon?"
"We'll have a honeymoon for the rest of our lives"
Gil chuckled, and then he took a pause from walking and pulled her to him and gave her a light kiss on the lips.
Looking into Gil's eyes, she glanced back at the church then back to her husband, "We promised to get married at this exact place and day twenty one years ago."
"And we did ... twenty one years later."
END
Sara, Warrick, Nick and Catherine are all seated inside the break room with their cup of coffee all engaged to a conversation about Adam Copperfield when Jim Brass walked in.
"Hey Brass" all greeted Jim.
"Are you guys going to watch Copperfield's execution?" Sara asked
"Of course" Nick replied
"I wouldn't miss it for the world. What about you Cath?" Warrick asked
"No."
None of them dared to ask why or even considered convincing her.
"The gang would be coming tonight, for the CSI get together on Thursday, Ecklie is picking Rick up at the airport, the others are already checked in at the hotel. Want to come with me and see them?" Brass offered
"No thanks, I have somewhere else to go to." Catherine sighed, and then gave a light smile to her co workers before standing up. When she was on her way out the door, Gil was on his way in.
"Oh. Um. Excuse me" Catherine said with her eyes focused on the floor, not bothering to glance at the man she almost bumped to.
Catherine got out of her car and walked towards the edifice has not been on for years. She walked inside, and for the first time in twenty one years, she finally got the courage to come there. She walked forward with her eyes never leaving the altar. When she finally stopped, she took her seat and sighed.
It has been one week since that day when she woke up in his arms and since that day she has been ignoring and avoiding him. Acting like nothing happened that night, acting like nothing ever happened to them at all in the past, just causes her heart to ache and the best way to stop it from hurting is to just avoid him.
For the past years thinking that it never happened, or rather, not thinking about it at all has been a very successful way of having some kind of peace of mind. That incident on that night of November 1983 was just unbearable to have in her memory that the only way she could deal with it is to pretend that, that and everything else never happened, and frankly what made the memory of that incident painful is not really the incident itself, but what happened afterwards. Everything was wonderful, nothing could ever match the kind of happiness she found, and if she keeps it in her memory that once, a long, long time ago she has experienced to love and to be loved truly, would of course make her smile but the smile would soon fade coz whether she admits it or not knowing that she lost all of that makes her heart bleed.
What she thought she has already moved on from is still there. The wound may not be as fresh, but the mark of the cut is still there. There in her heart, though she has tried to deny and hide it, the scar of the past has remained.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
December 1983
One week ago Catherine told Gil that they both need space, and now he's already in the plane on his way to San Francisco.
Just last month, this day was Catherine's most anticipated day. At this exact day and time, she was suppose to be walking down the aisle in a striking white gown, with her friends and loved ones sitting on the bench watching her walk towards the altar where the love of her life is waiting for her.
Instead, here she is at the same place, but not in a wedding gown but in casual denims, blouse and a white coat.
She isn't walking down the aisle, she's sitting on the bench.
She isn't staring into those blue eyes she love very much, coz here she is staring blankly in the space.
And most of all, she's here talking to God, no, not to take a vow and undergo the sacrament of matrimony but to pray that everything will be alright.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Twenty one years ago, she was seated at this very same spot, December of 1983 .... and a year after, she got married, no not in this church but to a small chapel. Tears again starting to roll down her eyes, she never expected she would have to face her fairy tale love life which ended up like a nightmare ever again.
As she was wiping her tears away, she felt a hand touched her shoulder; she didn't need to turn around to know who it is.
"What are you doing here?"
"To come for you"
The man behind her removed his hands from her shoulder and walked over to sit beside her. Staring at the altar, he asked, "Why did you marry Eddie?"
"Gil, when I was getting married with Eddie years ago, you already asked me that, and I have told you already and the answer is still the same"
"But you never did answer me, all you told me is to leave you."
"And you did."
"And you married him. A year before that you told me you love me yet you married another man"
"I never loved anyone the way I loved you. "
"Then, why - "
"Coz I was scared and I blamed myself for what I put you through!"
"I told you I'm coming back"
"You did, but I wasn't sure if you are coming back TO me."
"You didn't have enough faith in me?"
"No not that. It's just that I loved you too much. Too much that I wanted the best for you, and that's to give you up."
With that statement, Gil turned his gaze to the woman beside him. Catherine is still gazing forward, "You never called me when you were in San Francisco, that's when I thought that you would be better off without me. I hated myself when you almost died, you almost lost your life, I almost completely lost you. I felt like I wasn't worthy to have you." Catherine turned her gaze to Gil; they looked into each other's eyes for a brief moment then looked away.
"When I was in San Francisco, I never called coz I want you to have the space you wanted to have. I was also scared to come back, I wasn't sure if you'd want me back, I wanted the best for you, and one incident turned both of our lives upside down and I thought you were blaming me ... and I blamed myself too, I call on Brass to ask how you're doing that's when I learned you're with Eddie again."
"I used him to get over everything. I accepted the fact that I lost you as my lover, I didn't want to loose you as my friend, and I thought Eddie could help me throught that. And about the incident well thinking about it now, that incident wasn't either of ours' fault, but the after math of it ... well that's our mistake, we should have talked about it, instead we assumed and decided on what's best for each other, on our own"
"Well, it seems like we've been thinking of the same thing all along"
"Yea"
Gil looked at Catherine then said, "I still love you. I've watched you go in and out of relationships with other men wondering when you will ever come back to me"
Catherine looked back at Gil, "I've been entering relationships coz I wanted to find love and security, and I do, it's just that it never made me happy, I was never contented. There's always something missing. It's so hard to stick on with the average once you've felt how it is to have the best."
"Why else do you think I never looked for anyone else?"
"Coz I traumatized you!" Catherine joked, though it was half meant.
She was not sure how this talk will end, or to where it is heading. She wasn't even sure if what's happening is for real or if she's imagining things, what she wants right now is to make the atmosphere lighter.
Gil rolled his eyes playfully, "No!" and gave a little chuckle. "I have found in you all I'm looking for, and I've been regretting the day I lost you all this years."
"It looks like we've been feeling and thinking of the same thing again!"
"Are you thinking of what I'm thinking now?"
"I'm not sure. Well, what are you thinking about?"
"Marrying you"
Catherine chuckled and looked away, if it is a joke, it's a very bad one, coz it hurts.
"Several years before, in one of our conversations, you told me you'd marry me no matter what."
"Gil quit teasing; let's go meet Brass, his with the old team right now." Catherine stood up, as she walked pass Gil, Gil grabbed her hand, he stood up and he pulled her back to him and crashed his lips to hers.
Catherine was taken by surprise, and in a matter of moments she melted in his kiss. Gil's hand traveled around her back, he pulled her closer to him and deepens the kiss. The kiss was full of passion, of the long years of longing and desire ...
After some minutes, they stopped to get some air, "I was not kidding."
"Please don't say it if you don't mean it, coz I might do something crazy like believe it."
"Believe it." He said firmly.
A grin spread across Catherine's face and tears started to form behind her eyes, she cupped his face, and she touched it and stared at him for a moment. "I never stopped from loving you"
"Does this mean it's a yes?"
"It was a yes several years ago and it still is."
"Is it okay if we get married now, even without preparations?"
Catherine nodded, "I never want to loose you again"
"You never lost me. When I gave my whole heart and self to you I never got the chance to get it back."
Again they closed the distance of their lips. When they stopped, Gil looked at her and promised, "After today, we'll get married again, with gowns and tux and a reception, but right now I just want you to be my wife."
"Believe me that's what I want too. But we need rings."
"You think I came here unprepared?" Gil feigned disappointment. He reached from his pocket and retrieved a box which held two gold band rings.
"This are -"
"Our wedding rings, I kept it."
Catherine giggled and kissed Gil on the cheek. "You are unbelievable!" Gil chuckled as they both stared at the rings.
"You think it still fits?"
"Hopefully! Anyway if it doesn't, it won't matter we'll buy new wedding rings to our next wedding."
Catherine and Gil went to the Parish office which has just opened, and luckily the papers which they have submitted years ago in preparation of their wedding were still there.
After the ceremony, as they walked out the church hand in hand with perfect fitting wedding rings on their fingers ....
"So Mrs. Grissom, what are we going to do now?"
"Well. We'll go meet my daughter to tell her the news"
"And our honeymoon?"
"We'll have a honeymoon for the rest of our lives"
Gil chuckled, and then he took a pause from walking and pulled her to him and gave her a light kiss on the lips.
Looking into Gil's eyes, she glanced back at the church then back to her husband, "We promised to get married at this exact place and day twenty one years ago."
"And we did ... twenty one years later."
END