CHAPTER FOUR
BUTTER-SIDE DOWN
Her room was gorgeous.
Dominated by a huge four-poster bed with heavy crewl-work curtains tied back against the posts and matching bedcover, the room looked comfortable and welcoming despite the rough stone walls and flagstone floor.
Snape walked across the room to a door on the left and threw it open.
"There is a bathroom through here," he said, shortly. "You should find everything you need."
She passed him as she went to look, and gasped.
Mirrors and terracotta marble everywhere, including thick Roman-style pillars at each corner of the enormous sunken bath. Ornate gold taps adorned both the bath and the hand-basin, and the toilet and bidet sparkled brilliant white.
She turned back to the bedroom. Snape had walked over to a heavy oak wardrobe.
"Should you wish clean clothes...or rather," he looked disdainfully at her bare legs. "some clothes, this wardrobe will provide whatever you may need."
She went to the wardrobe, peered inside and gasped again. At least two-dozen beautiful summer dresses hung neatly on padded hangers. She reached in and parted them, gazing at them.
Evening silks, in jewel colours of sapphire, emerald, ruby, and daytime cotton, soft, thin and flowing. She picked out a deep-green silk floor-length dress and held it up against her.
"And is one expected to dress for dinner?" she joked, in her best posh accent.
"Miss Carver, I shall be dining in my usual manner," he replied, stonily. "You may wear whatever you wish."
"Oh," she said, surprised. "We really are having dinner together?" The feeling did not immediately fill her with joy.
"I have my instructions, Miss Carver."
She sighed inwardly and put the dress back in the wardrobe. Didn't this man ever lighten-up?
"Oh!" She said again, having a sudden thought. "My bag - I don't remember seeing it..."
"I have instructed one of the house-elves to bring it to your room."
"One of the what?"
Before he could answer, there was a knock on the door. Andi stifled a scream as a two-foot high grey... thing entered the room, struggling with her bag which was almost as big as him.
He plonked it on the floor before giving a little bow and leaving, silently.
She stared up at Snape in disbelief.
"As the Headmaster warned you, there will be many things you don't understand."
"It's not that I don't understand them," she snapped, riled at his continuing air of condescension "I just don't believe what I'm seeing."
Irritated, she snatched up her bag and threw it onto the bed, recklessly.
It is an established fact that toast, when dropped, will always land on the carpet butter-side down. It is also a fact that when a girl's handbag tips up, it will not be the innocent sunglasses or purse that display themselves prominently over the floor.
The bag clung to the edge of the bed for a fraction of a second before sliding to the ground, sending objects clattering over the stone floor.
Diving after the bag, she managed to scramble together her perfume, bottle of water, lucky penguin, paracetamol and (shit) her dirty novel. Her hairbrush and (fuck) her tampon-holder, hopefully before he noticed too much.
What she didn't manage to grab was a five inch bullet-shaped object which hit the ground and sped across the floor towards Snape. Andi watched in horror as the mini-vibrator rolled and rolled, stopping only when it reached the tip of Snape's shoe.
He looked down and stooped to pick it up slowly. Glancing at the gold lettering stamped on the side of the pink leather pouch, he held it out to her, a corner of his mouth twitching slightly as he did so.
She snatched it away, her cheeks hot.
"Thank you," she said tightly, stuffing the vibrator back in her bag. Damn it! It had been a joke present from her best friend Liz when John had dumped her, but Andi reluctantly had to admit, it had come in useful during the lonely nights without John.
"The Headmaster seemed under the impression you have trouble with directions. Do you think you can manage to find your way back to my living-quarters for dinner at eight o'clock sharp?" he said, sarcastically.
"Yes," she answered quickly, busying herself with the bag to avoid looking at him, her cheeks still warm.
"As it is just three doors along the corridor, there seems little potential for losing your way."
"I'll be fine," she snapped. "Looking forward to it."
"Eight o'clock, then," he said, going to the door and opening it, but then turned to speak over his shoulder. "Oh, and I should perhaps warn you,' he gave a derisive smirk as his eyes flickered to her bag. 'Muggle..'gadgets' do not work at Hogwarts."