Self obsessed insane wizard has escaped from the loony bin.

The once profound wizard Gilderoy Lockhart, who is now know as a fraud thanks to the brave efforts of Harry Potter, escaped from St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries two day's ago and hasn't been sighted since. When interviewed the healer who worked with him the most had this to say;

"He was the type of patient who could hide his pills under his tongue, and hide them well. He had escaped before but he always came back because he only wanted to get more pictures of himself to give out."

Last person to see him was a patient himself in the hospital, Jerold Heart, in St. Mungo's for reasons we are not aloud to tell you, claimed to have been woken up by him and shortly after stunned.

Gilderoy has wavy blond hair and blue eyes, he is most often seen wearing the color lilac and can be easily distracted if asked for an autograph. He is not very dangerous but he is a bit insane, the hospital request no stunning spells are to be used on him as it might upset his mind. Only sleeping spells and diluted sleeping draughts are to be used if anything at all. If found and contained please contact the hospital at once and the proper authorities will retrieve him.

In the great hall for breakfast early Monday morning Harry Potter was looking at the daily profit in disbelief, next to him Hermione was glaring at Ron who was laughing so hard his face match his flaming red hair. "It's not that funny Ron! He could get hurt in the condition he's in." This set Ron laughing even harder before he finally managed to choke out, "Still....Still fancy him then?" Hermione bristled and then walked to the other side of Harry. "What did I do?"

Harry was about to explain were exactly Ron went wrong when the doors burst open and in a shower of magical glitter Gilderoy Lockhart walked through the door. HE was wearing stunning lilac robs that glittered in light and was smiling so every one of his teeth were shining white, in fact some people had to look away from him as he was so bright he blinded them. He strode right up to the staff table and turned toward the students. Everyone was silent and staring at him, no one saw the highly amused Dumbledore or the look of sheer horror on the rest of the staff. The glitter finally stopped falling and disappeared.

"Can everyone see me, can you all hear me? Good, good" He paused to look around the room and his eyes met Harry's, a momentary flicker of confusion crossed his face then his smile somehow got even bigger. "It can't be Harry Potter?" He pulled out his wand and pointed it at Harry who suddenly flew up into the air and landed in a heap next to him. Gilderoy pulled him up and faced him towards the rest of the students. "Nice big smile, Harry. Together you and I are worth the front page." He beamed at Harry who was trying to back away but Gilderoy grabbed his arm and yanked him closer. Then Gilderoy stopped smiling, and stared as if he were listening to something, Harry who couldn't get away looked at him with pure fear. This man was insane! He was going to do something violent, Harry just knew it.

"That sounds familiar, doesn't it?" He suddenly said. "What is that from? I know it is from something....Flourish and Blotts!" He exclaimed to no one but himself. "This has happened before...only different.

Snape stood up and went around the table and stood out of arms reach with his wand out and pointing at Gilderoy. Slowly he started to speak so as not to startle him into using his wand, which he still had out. "Mr. Lockhart, please let the boy go and give me your wand." Gilderoy turned and faced him. "Mr.! No I am a professor. Professor Lockhart." He spoke as if he thought Snape was very stupid and needed to be explained to like a child.

Looking as though he just remembered a very important detail he turned and faced the students again and began to address them. "Now, Professor Dumbledore has granted me permission to start this little dueling club, to train you all incase you ever need to defend yourselves as I myself have done on countless occasions-for full details see, my published works." The entire school gaped at him, some of them remembered that exact same speech years ago when he really was a teacher. "He's mental!" Someone shouted amongst the crowd.

Dumbledore turned to Professor McGonagall "Go get poppy, and bring her hear immediately." She nodded and left the great hall in a hurry. Lockhart watched her go with a brilliant smile and then continued on his speech. "Let me introduce my assistant, Professor Snape," He pointed to Snape with his wand, as his other hand was still holding Harry who despite his best efforts couldn't get out of his grip, which stopped hurting as it had gone numb.

Gilderoy went on oblivious to the struggling boy and the Hogwarts staff that was slowly getting up and pointing there wands at him. "He tells me he knows a tiny little bit about dueling himself and has sportingly agreed to help me with a short demonstration before we begin. Now, I don't want any of you youngsters to worry-you'll still have your potions master when I'm through with him, never fear!"

"Perhaps Professor," Started Snape, his voice dripping with sarcasm at the word professor, "we should wait for Madam Pomfrey to arrive, that way there are no unfortunate accidents." Lockhart Stared at Snape unblinkingly but still smiling (it was rather creepy) then he spoke. "If your afraid professor, don't worry it is only natural to be when dueling with some one as renowned as myself, but of course we shall wait until she gets here, for your comfort." Snape's expression could only be described as pure loathing, something usually only Harry had the "joy" of being looked at like that.

Snape kept his cool and continued, "I think you should let Potter go, Professor, so he won't get in our way. Gilderoy looked at Harry as though seeing him for the first time, he had completely forgotten he still had hold of him. He let him go but when he saw Harry rubbing his hand something triggered another memory. "It's ok Harry, old boy, I fix that arm up in a jiffy, got hit with a bludger, eh? Not to worry a simple charm is all that's needed, one I have used countless times." Comprehension dawned on Harry and all he got out was a strangled, "please, no" before Gilderoy's twirling wand taped his arm. A familiar feeling of deflation found its way in Harry's arm, and one again Lockhart hadn't mended Harry's arms, he had removed them.

"Ah, yes. Well....That can sometimes happen, But the point is the bones are no longer broken. That's the thing to bear in mind." Harry glared at Gilderoy with hatred that could rival Snape's own and shouted, "YOU IDIOT!!! MY ARM WAS NUMB NOT BROKEN!!! NUMB, LIKE YOUR HEAD, NUMB!" Gilderoy looked rather taken aback for a moment not sure what to do then he smiled. "My head is fine, but thank you for your concern; you are indeed a most loyal fan Harry." He pulled an autographed picture of himself out of his robes and stuffed it in Harry's pocket. "There you go a special treat for you; I drew a smiley face on the back of that one." Harry's jaw dropped, could this man be any more insane? "That's right Harry a work of art made by Gilderoy Lockhart himself, truly priceless." He beamed.

"Oh no, not again, Mr. Potter." Said a voice behind him, Lockhart turned to see Madam Pomfrey's wand pointed at him and then he fell into a magically induced sleep.

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j752572: Well? good one, doesn't anyone like Lockhart?

Gilderoy: Well of course they do, I mean I am me, Amazing me, Magical me, perfect teeth me!

j752572: um...yeah right.... anyway, said so only readers can hear...read.….Whatever I never liked him in the books, it wasn't until I saw the movie that I liked him. Same with Snape, but how can you not love Allen Rickman in anything... Now I love Snape, and I am going to do as humor featured around him too. It is about a girl that gets transferred to Hogwarts and becomes obsessed with him. lol... it think it will be funny

Gilderoy: What are you saying? something about me perhaps, planning a surprise I love surprises