Disclaimer: I own nothingness. The characters belong to *drum roll* JKR! The plot belongs to Phyllis Naylor!

A/N: Sorry I took so long to update! I hope this chapter was worth the wait for all of you! And yes, I know I have a nasty mind. =]

Chapter Three: Bridal Shower

            Lily was in shock. Some poor man was about to marry her twenty-year old, horse-faced, bossy sister Petunia. Lily decided she would warn that poor, unfortunate man. Lily was leaving that night at 10 PM, so she could reach her home at 4 Pivet Drive two days early. Lily knew nothing about weddings, but she knew enough to know that she should be more to Petunia than just a bridesmaid. Still, she wouldn't complain.

            When Lily arrived home the next day, she went to Petunia's bridal shower –lingerie shower to be more exact.

            "Lily! Where have you been? You are … seventeen? Oh! Eighteen! Where have you been all these years! Last time I saw you, you were ten!" Betsy said. Betsy had been Lily's best friend.

            "My parents sent me to a boarding school just outside London." This was the answer Lily always gave to questions about her past.

            "Oh…well, aren't you glad about Petunia!"

            "Sure…"

            Everyone was drinking coffee, and a pretty woman with a clipboard and long, red nails spoke. "Welcome, everyone! I'm Joan, and the only rule today is to have fun. I am gonna help you all make your wildest fantasies come true." Joan looked at Petunia in particular and smiled. Everybody laughed. "First, I would like to wish Petunia a wonderful marriage with Vernon Dursley."

            Lily tried to think if she knew and Vernon…but she couldn't recall.

            Joan spoke again ."As you all know, this is a different kind of shower in which Petty will select, and maybe model, the lingerie of her choice."

            "Now wait a minute!" cried Petunia. People hooted.

            Lily tried to picture her bony sister in a bikini. It didn't click.

            "But before we ask Petty about her fiancé, we will take a little test. There are no wrong answers…just have some fun!"

            As soon as people got their sheets, they started laughing. When Joan handed Lily one, she read "Test your Sensuality". All over the rooms there were murmurs and giggles. Lily looked at the questions:

                        1. Have you ever worn a flower in your hair? 10 points

                        2. Are you wearing matching a matching bra and panties? 10 points

                        3. Have you ever had a bodily experience while swimming? 15 points

            Lily only had ten points so far…for wearing a lily in her hair on her birthday.

                        4. Have you mentally undressed a stranger? 20 points

                        5. Have you ever removed any lingerie during a meal? 10 points

            "This is a riot!" said Petunia.

            "Boy, am I glad my mother's not here!" someone muttered, and it got a laugh.

                        6. Have you ever taken a feather and started at his nose and ended at his toes? 25 points

            Lily's face was bright red. She had no idea people did this stuff. She was still a virgin…so she wouldn't know.

                        7. Have you ever wrapped yourself up for a male? 20 points

                        8. Have you ever given a massage to a member of the male gender? 20 points

                        9. Have you ever made love anywhere besides the bedroom? 15 points         

                        10. Have you ever used whipping cream for anything besides dessert? 25 points

            Lily was marveling at the fact that people wrapped themselves up, and then she imagined herself standing naked covered in whipped cream in the dining room. She sucked in her breath.

            "Look at Lily!" somebody said. "Look at her blush!"

            "Oh, Lily! Are you still a virgin?" Petunia laughed at her.

            Lily desperately tried to come up with her points for the test. 10 for the flower. Twenty for thinking what James looks like in the shower; that isn't mentally undressing a stranger, but she would fudge a little on that. Ten points for massaging her father, and ten points for taking off her socks during dinner (socks count at underwear, don't they?).

            Everyone went around the room, telling their scores. One hundred twenty, one hundred five, ninety-five, one-ten, and then they got to Lily. She thought of lying, but what if they all had to turn in their sheets?

            "Sixty" Lily said, and every one laughed.

            "It's okay, baby sister. We were all virgins once too" Petunia said to Lily. More laughter.

            Lily felt very self-conscious. But she didn't have to go all the way to be the great person she was.

            Everyone tried on lingerie. Petunia wore a long, slinky gown with a long slit up the side. She looked like a whore. Lily was forced to wear a teddy called "Jungle Fever". It was a nylon leopard-skin print, and it had a paw over each breast and another near the crotch. Petunia looked to kill, but Lily couldn't see why. Who on earth would wanna dress like this? Joan gave Lily this teddy free of charge.

**Lily's point of view**

            The next day at the wedding, I finally got to see the groom. Vernon Dursley. He was a beefy man with a gigantic mustache. I wondered what it felt like when you kissed a guy with a mustache. How did all that hair taste, if it went in your mouth? Petunia, in her pure white dress, kissed Vernon. I shuddered.

            We did all the normal wedding stuff…then we danced. I had no one to dance with. Then, I saw James. Astonished, I ran over to him, tripping over my flower-printed skirt.

            "Hey babe! Dumbledore let me pass. I missed ya." I kissed him. Brushing him off, then, I saw what he was wearing. The first and only time I had seen him in a tie. Damn, did he look fine! The starched cuffs, the flower in his pocket…his half smile! I loved this man. We danced.

**James' point of view**

            What was it with Lily? She's never like this! Why the hell is she acting so…slutty? She used to be so innocent and naive…now she was so…slutty!

            "Hey…Lil…can I talk to you…outside?"

            "Sure James, hun!" Wtf? James hun?

            I said it straight out. "Why are you acting so slutty?"

            Lily stared at me. "Excuse me?"

            "You. Are. Acting. Like. A. Slut. Why?"

            "What the hell are you talking about James?"

            "YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A FRIKKIN SLUT! THE WAY YOU TALK, THE WAY YOU WINK WHEN YOU SEE, THE WAY YOU DRESS, THE WAY YOU KISS ME! YOU'RE A SLUT, LILY EVANS! A SLUT!"

            Lily's eyes were starting to turn red. Her sparkly green eyes looked like they were on fire. Her rosy cheeks flushed. Her smile turned into a snarl.

            "SLUT MY ASS! YOU THINK I AM A SLUT? LOOK AT YOU, POTTER! SLEEPING WITH A DIFFERENT WOMAN EVERY NIGHT! I AM AMAZED YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO SAY THAT TO MY FACE!"

            "Lily…listen…calm down okay? I'm sorry…but you've totally changed. You're not the Lily I loved…you're not even the Lily I liked. I don't even know who you are now."

            "I don't know what you're talking about, Potter."

            "Yes, you do. Why are you acting like this?"

            "I AM JUST ACTING THE WAY YOU ALWAYS WANTED ME TO ACT! I SUPPOSED IF YOU LIKED EMMA DRESSING IN MINI SKIRTS, YOU' D LIKE ME THAT WAY! IF YOU LIKE SAMANTHA WINKING AT YOU, I SUPPOSE THAT WAS WHAT YOU WANTED ME TO BE! IF YOU LIKED ARABELLA KISSING YOU LIKE A HORNY BITCH, I THOUGHT YOU WANTED ME THAT WAY! I DON'T KNOW WHY I EVER CHANGED JUST TO PLEASE YOU, POTTER! NOW I SEE I WAS WRONG!" And then she left.

            I gazed after her, amazed. When did I ever tell Lily I wanted her to act that way? I loved for what she was. Damn. Where the hell did she go? I needa find her.

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