Understanding

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and other related materials, for they all belong to J.K. Rowling. I quoted a lot of Chamber of Secrets in this chapter. I used the same exact dialogue that they said, but it's from Ginny's point of view.

Author's Note: I'm sorry. I'm so bad. I'm starting a new story, when I should be working on Without Trust There is No Love. Oh well. This is going to be a love…pentagon story. Yeah. Love pentagon rocks. Haha. Who needs triangles when you have pentagons?

Prologue: Secrets of the Heart

The day I discovered Tom could be one of the best days of my life. How lucky was I to get someone to finally understand my woe and my pain. Perhaps I was just entering the adolescent phase of, what people call, "teen angst". I'd never know. All I ever knew during that year was that my love for Tom grew steadily. He was everything to me. I loved him as a child would love her doll. Little did I know that I had turned into his toy, his puppet, his doll.

If most people discovered a diary in their cauldron, they would put it to some use. And that's what I did. I didn't know how the diary got there, but I didn't care. A naïve child was I, a foolish girl. I should have known Lucius Malfoy slipped it into my cauldron. I should have known.

I first wrote in it at the Burrow in the dark hours of the night. At first, I thought it was just a normal diary-like anyone else would think. What a shock I got when it wrote back to me! It answered my very questions that I had written before it. The diary introduced itself as "Tom Marvolo Riddle", like it was written in the back in faded, gold letters.

"What is your name?"

"Ginevra Molly Weasley…but you can call me Ginny."

"What a lovely name."

Thus, began a beautiful friendship between me and Tom.

I wrote to it, day and night. I told him of the events that were happening in my life. He always seemed unusually interested whenever I mentioned Harry. He didn't seem to care of my hopeless infatuation that I had for the Boy-Who-Lived. No, he didn't say it to me directly. But in my heart, I knew he really wasn't interested. So when he asked information of the famous Harry Potter, I heeded his words.

I probably told Tom his whole life story. And that is when Tom began to scare me. I would black out and then awake, finding the blood of a rooster all on my hands. And every time I woke from a black out, one of the students at Hogwarts would be petrified.

For some time, I was in denial. I would reassure myself that my magic skills where not capable of reaching the level of petrifying people. I confided in Tom, and he gave me words of comfort. He told me that everything would be alright, and he would see to it that it would be.

After a while, I began to suspect that it was Tom. I grew frightened of him, yet I was torn by my growing love for him. It's true that I still loved Harry, but I only thought of it as a mere crush. However, my love for Tom was real, and it was deep. But I could not stand his frightening power over me.

Before I decided to throw the diary away, I decided to write one last thing to Tom-just to make sure.

"Do you know anything about these attacks?"

"Yes."

"Who's attacking?"

"I'm afraid if I tell you, it might frighten you to death. We wouldn't want that, would we?"

"No, I guess not, but I need to know, Tom."

"Silly girl…it's you."

When I read those words, I felt numbness spread all over my body. My hands shook as I wrote a reply.

"How can it be?!"

"Well, don't you ever wonder whenever you black out, a new student is petrified? Think about it, Ginny. The blood of the rooster all over your hands, and you wake up to see there is a message of blood on the walls of Hogwarts. I thought you'd be able to figure it out by now."

"Did you do this to me, Tom?"

"Yes."

"Why? I thought you were my friend."

For some time, it seemed to me that Tom hesitated to answer. But at last, he wrote, "I am your friend, Ginny. You just have to trust me."

I shut the diary, and I took it to the girls' bathroom. The girls' bathroom where no one ever went to. (Or so I thought) Blindly, I threw it in one of the stalls and ran. Tears streamed down my face, and I felt as if my heart was about to shatter. I loved Tom so much. For days, I could not bear to look at Harry because in a vague memory Tom looked like Harry.

But a day came, when I thought I was going to die of shock. It was the day I saw Harry holding the diary. Rather, Draco Malfoy was holding it and taunting him about it. I stood frozen at the spot. A surge of jealous came within me, for a reason still unknown to me today. Harry had the diary, he had Tom-not I. But I was more afraid that Tom would betray me by telling Harry everything for which I had done. I had to get it back.

Of course, I knew it was wrong to go in the boy's dormitory and go through Harry's things. But I had to get it. I felt insane, crazy, and mad-I needed the diary more than anything. It was like withdrawal from a drug. Tom was my drug. He was my addiction. I needed him back. The diary had become a part of me.

I got the diary back. I found it in the deepest part of Harry's trunk. Even if I loved Tom so, I still did not trust something about the diary. I finally figured that it was me who was attacking everyone, or someone was doing it for me. Whatever it was at the time, I needed to tell Ron. That morning, I gathered up my courage to tell Ron. He was with Harry, eating his breakfast. Nervously, I sat down next to him, avoiding Harry's gaze.

"What's up?" Ron said, with mouth full of food.

I didn't answer. I twisted my hands in my lap nervously. I looked up and down the Gryffindor table to make sure no one was listening.

"Spit it out." Ron persisted.

I felt Harry's eyes burning on me. I couldn't answer him. I opened my mouth but my throat tied up. No sound came out of my mouth. Finally, with a deep breath I said a few words.

"I've got to tell you something…"

"What is it?" Harry said, looking concerned.

"What?" Ron pressed.

I didn't speak. Harry leaned in and said, "Is it something about the Chamber of Secrets? Have you seen something? Someone acting oddly?"

I drew a breath and was just about to answer. But my older brother, Percy, came. "If you've finished eating, I'll take that seat, Ginny. I'm starving, I've only just come off patrol duty."

I jumped out of the seat and gave Percy a frightened look. Without another word, I hurried away from the table. I could not tell them. They would hate me forever. I also realized that I couldn't betray Tom.

When I got back, I immediately started writing in the diary. I apologized to Tom for being so rash and not thinking before I acted. I promised that I'd never leave him again. It was then I confessed my love for him.

"If you love me, Ginny, will you promise me something?"

"What?"

"Promise me that whatever happens, you will always love me."

"Why do you say this?"

"I fear a time will come where you will hate me."

"That will never happen, Tom. I love you."

"I only hope so, Ginny."

After that, I do not remember what happened. Vaguely, I remember seeing Tom come out of the diary. He spoke something I could not understand. Darkness took over my memory.

I was somewhere dark and damp. I felt cold, and I remember shivering from head to toe. Dried blood was covered over two of my fingers. I tried wiping it off on my robes, but it was stained there. I started looking around the foreign place I was in. There were statues of huge snakes all over, and a statue of a man in front of me. I figured that it was Salazar Slytherin. I felt cold-coldness I had never felt before. It felt as if all the blood I had inside me was slowly draining away.

"Where am I?" I wondered aloud.

Suddenly, a pale hand came upon my shoulder. I screamed and quickly jumped away in fright. A boy at the age of sixteen stood before me. He was handsome with dark hair. At once, I knew it was my beloved-Tom Riddle.

"Tom," I breathed. "Oh, where are we?"

At first, he did not reply. For a moment, he just stared at me and observed every inch of me. He came forward and held me close to him.

"Do you remember your promise, Ginny?" he asked.

He was at least a foot and a half taller than me. But somehow, it felt so right in his arms.

"I do remember." I whispered.

He stroked my hair, and I shivered under his touch. I was still cold even in his arms.

"I'm so cold." I said. "Where are we?"

"The Chamber of Secrets."

I gasped and pushed away from him. "Why did you bring me here?"

Tom came towards me and said, "Because I need to make everything right."

Puzzled, I stared at him. I could not understand what he was talking about. What was he trying to make right?

"Set what right, Tom?" I said, weakly.

All my strength was deprived from me at that very moment. I felt weak, and I fell to the ground. Tears streamed down my face, and I looked up at Tom. He did not help me. I felt as if he were leaving me to die. I felt a surge of sorrow come within my aching heart. Betrayal, abandoned, heartbroken I sat on the cold ground, sobbing.

"Tom," I sobbed.

He looked down at me and said, "I'm sorry I had to do this to you, Ginny." He smiled cruelly and said bitterly, "Any moment now your precious Harry will come here, in an attempt to rescue you. It's what you've always wanted, wasn't it-for him to care about your existence and welfare?"

He laughed and continued, "I'm giving you what you always wished for, Ginny. You should thank me."

"No," I gasped.

"Good-bye Ginevra Molly Weasley, for you will cease to be living soon. Foolish girl, you never knew who I really was. Let me reintroduce myself: I am Lord Voldemort…"

Then, everything faded to black.

Abruptly, I woke. Harry was standing beside me, his robes covered with blood. He had the diary in his hand, and he was looking down at me. Realization hit me. Tom was gone. I didn't know if I was supposed to be heartbroken, relieved, or angry. My feelings were mixed. But I knew I couldn't show them in front of Harry. I also realized that he knew everything that I did. I began to sob.

"Harry-oh, Harry-I tried to tell you at b-breakfast, but I c-couldn't say it in front of Percy-it was me, Harry-But I-I s-swear I d-didn't mean to-R-Riddle made me, he t-took me over-and-how did you kill that-that thing? Where's Riddle? The last thing I r-remember is him coming out of the diary-"

"It's all right." Harry said, as he held up the diary. I noticed there was a hole in the middle of it. "Riddle's finished. Look! Him and the basilisk. C'mon, Ginny, let's get out of here-"

I started rambling again. I began crying about how I was going to be expelled, and how I was afraid of what my parents would say. Secretly, I was crying because Tom was gone from my life. Perhaps, he was gone forever. For some reason, I was not afraid of him. Even after he said he was Voldemort, I still loved him the same. It was strange.

Harry led me out of the chamber. And I remember feeling the same love for Harry as I felt for him when I first laid eyes on him. Ron hugged me when he saw me, and we all came out of the chamber alive.

I wasn't expelled from Hogwarts.

After that event, I never trusted anyone so easily. I guess, in a way, Tom taught me not to trust, not to be naïve, and never to give myself in so easily. I still love him deeply inside the secrets within my heart. My promise to him has never been broken. It's true that I may lust after the great Harry Potter, and I love him more now after saving me gallantly from the Chamber of Secrets. But my love for Tom was and is real. Even if my hate for him still comes from my aching heart. Deeply, I love him. Forever, I will love him. I will wait for him. You may not understand why, and even I couldn't tell you why. I guess it's because he was the first friend I ever had-and my first love. They say first love is never forgotten, and I suppose it's true. My promise will be forever kept. No one will wash this love away.