Thank you so much for the excellent reviews that have kept this story going. I do not own Love Hina, Ken Akamatsu does. Enjoy.
Love's Sharp Blade
Chapter III
Motoko sat within the confines of her room. The confines that she herself had set. The sunlight cast down on the floor from the window and ever so slowly moved across the finished wooden surface. Motoko could recall the exact path that it had traveled across the floor since she had first sat down. The fair skin of her face was still wet from the tears she had cried throughout that period of time. The countless tears she had cried for Keitaro. It is now 1pm in the afternoon. Sitting on her futon, she just stared across the room into nothingness. Then, the memory of a dream came to her. A dream that she had had before she awoke this morning.
She was standing on a stone path that ran through a deep forest. She could not see very far in front of her due to a thick gray fog that surrounded her. Motoko cautiously walked down the path, not really sure what her destination was or where the path would take her. Then, a cool wind blew and rustled the leaves of the trees. In that rustling sound, she heard a voice call, as if from a distance.
"Discipline."
She immediately stopped and looked around. The fog grew thicker. So thick that she could not see one foot in front of her. The voice came again, this time so close it was as if it were right next to her.
"Men are nothing but a distraction. They will lead you off the path."
A moment of silence passed. Then the fog lifted around her and Motoko found herself in the forest among the trees. The stone path was gone from her view.
"Love is nothing compared to the fire of a warrior's heart." Came the voice from among the trees.
"You lie! When love is pure and true, it can make a warrior stronger!" Motoko yelled.
"Can it?" the now clear and chillingly familiar voice said, this time from right behind her.
Quickly, Motoko turned around. She saw herself, dressed in black Samurai armor. Her hair was tied back with a thin black leather strip, leaving two streams of raven hair flowing down on either side of her face, accenting her onyx colored eyes. Her lips formed a malicious smile. Lips that were a pale purple compared to the rest of her bloodless white skin.
"Can it really?" the dark Motoko said, before pulling out her sword and plunging it into Motoko's stomach.
"All a warrior needs is herself." The dark Motoko said.
She then quickly pulled the sword from Motoko's midsection, shedding the blood from her blade behind her in a quick swiping motion. It was then when Motoko awoke from the dream with a loud gasp, holding her stomach.
Touching her stomach, Motoko could still remember the sting of the sharp sword piercing her skin and the feeling of the cold blade inside of her. The dream was so vivid that it disturbed her greatly.
'Maybe the me in the dream was trying to tell me something.' She thought to herself as she sat there, still contemplating the dream.
'Maybe it was trying to warn me that Keitaro was no good for me right from the start. I want to sever all compassion and love from my soul. That way the love from another can no longer affect a part that is no longer there. Yeah, that's it. Oh, who am I kidding? It still hurts so much. Why did this have to happen? Why did I…have to fall in love with someone? And why did that someone have to betray me? Maybe he really does like her better. I've seen how Naru looks at him sometimes. It's not like its really obvious, but you can tell she feels something more for him than say Kitsune or Kaolla Su. Ergg, I hate thinking this way!'
Motoko then closed her eyes and quieted her mind. The sounds and the feeling of reality around her slowly began to melt away until there was only black in all directions. She sat there inside the comfortable void, a world separate from the outside. A safe realm, that lies within. All was dark, all was silent. Then, the image of Keitaro appeared before her and with it a tinge of pain in her heart.
Without warning, a hand emerged from the darkness and moved its fingers over the image, causing ripples as if over a pool of water.
"So, this is the cause of all your sorrow, all your pain." A voice said.
The hand then gave a quick sweeping gesture and the image disappeared.
The voice continued,
"I can make it all go away, make all of the pain disappear."
Then the hand sank back into the darkness.
"Who is it? Who's there?" Motoko called out into the void.
There was no reply.
"H-How can you make the pain disappear?" Motoko asked softly.
She then felt a pair of cold arms wrap around and embrace her from behind and a cool cheek touching hers.
The person then moved her lips to Motoko's ear and whispered,
"I can make it all go away. I can protect you. I can make sure you will never be hurt again. All you have to do is surrender yourself to me. Surrender to the ideals of a warrior."
Motoko sat very still, enticed by the words whispered to her.
"I…maybe I can…if it will…"
Motoko then looked down at the arms that embraced her. They were white. The hands were like hers, only the fingernails were long, black and sharp. This immediately disturbed her.
"Who, who the hell are you?" she said, freeing herself from the cold embrace.
Motoko stood up and turned around. Looking right back at her, dressed in a black kimono and wearing a devilish smile, was the other Motoko, just like in her dream.
"Y-You!" Motoko said, stepping back.
"Yes, Motoko. Submit yourself to my ideals and the beliefs of the Samurai, wholly and completely. Then, you'll never have to feel the agonies of love ever again." She said, standing up as well.
"No! I can't. I won't!" Motoko yelled, moving her hand in a rejecting gesture.
"Surrender to me. Let me take control. Let me free you of the pain. Surrender!" she said moving towards her, reaching out her clawed fingers. As the claws moved closer to her face, Motoko screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
Motoko then snapped out of her meditation. Still breathing heavily, she looked around the room and began to calm down.
"It was a hallucination, or a twisted dream. It had to be." Motoko said to herself, placing her hand on her face. "What a horrible vision."
She looked over to the clock. It read 2pm.
'Well, I can't stay in here all day. I have to go out there and live my life again, like it was before. I can do this, I know I can.'
She took a deep breath and exhaled. Motoko stood up, straightened her kendo robe and walked to the door. Opening it and walking out, she closed the sliding door behind her. The sure sound of her determined footsteps began to fade until they subsided altogether.
Keitaro walked through the main room. Everyone else seemed to be out doing something, something within the flow of their normal lives, leaving him standing there alone, utterly, without even a single soul to talk to. He wants to express this feeling he has of angst and regret to someone, anyone. He sat down on the sofa, removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose.
Running his fingers through his hair and straightening it, he again thought of Motoko. Her smooth, perfect skin. How her fine dark hair moves so elegantly with the light wind of spring. Her beautiful brown eyes and how the world around her so perfectly reflects within them. About how her cute and pleasant smile can make his heart stop and then start it up again. Keitaro remembers her stubbornness, but also her strong determination and her passion for discipline and training. All of these things he loved about her and he missed greatly.
He hung his head down and rested it in his hands.
"Oh, Motoko." He said in self-pity.
"Motoko?" came a more mature voice from behind him.
Keitaro turned his head to see Haruka standing there behind the sofa, watching him with a puzzled look on her face.
"Oh, its you Aunt Haruka." Haruka immediately smashed her elbow down on his head.
"It's Miss Haruka." She said.
"Right, sorry." Keitaro groaned through the pain on top of his head.
"Isn't Motoko upstairs, Keitaro? And by the way, what's got you so down?" she asked.
"Well…I…Haruka, have you ever done something that you regretted deeply, that you wish you never allowed to happen?" he asked.
Haruka then closed her eyes, smiled and let out a sigh. She walked around and sat down next to Keitaro.
"You know, Keitaro, I've made a few mistakes in my time, but I don't regret them. If I could go back and change all those mistakes, I wouldn't. The truth is we learn from our mistakes. If I went back and changed all of those things that I did wrong, I wouldn't have the wisdom I have today that I gained from making those mistakes." She said.
"Ah, I see. I understand." Keitaro said.
"Why do you ask? Did you happen to make a 'mistake' with Motoko?" she asked with a smile.
"What?! Uh, no! That is, her and I aren't really talking now." Keitaro said.
Haruka then stood up and looked at Keitaro with an understanding smile.
"I see. I just hope you've gained some wisdom of your own from that experience." She said.
"I think I have. Thank you, Haruka." He said, giving her a smile.
"Don't mention it, Keitaro." She then walked outside and headed back to the teahouse.
Keitaro rose to his feet.
'In order to truly gain from that experience, there's something I have to do.' He thought.
He then turned and ran up the stairs.
'Hopefully she's in the place where I think she is right now.' He thought as he made his way down the hall.
Naru was on the roof, hanging up her laundry to dry. The warm wind picked up and blew against the clothes, moving them in waves. It was a pleasing sight that didn't seem to reach Naru, as her mind was a million miles away. Her thoughts were on Keitaro, who she still yearns for in her heart. She still remembers every second of that kiss, a kiss she has fantasized about since Keitaro first came to Hinata. Then she remembered the agony of his rejection. A memory, that caused a quick sting in her heart.
"N-Naru?"
Snapping out of her deep thoughts, she turned to see Keitaro standing there. This caused her heart to drop only for a second before she put on her angry face to mask her broken feelings.
"What do YOU want?" She said, turning her head away.
"I just want to talk, Naru." He said, walking up to her.
"Fine, then talk." She said, folding her arms.
"Well, I just want to say I'm sorry if I might have lead you on for so long. The truth is that I really was in love with you for a while." Keitaro said.
Hearing those last few words surprised Naru, causing her to gasp and turn to face Keitaro.
"Then, for some reason, the last few months I've been growing more and more fond of Motoko to the point where I started to love her. I still do care about you, Naru. Only now I want more than anything for us to be good friends." Keitaro said.
"Keitaro…" Naru said with a slight look of disappointment. She was hoping that he would actually say something else.
"Well, if that's what you really want, Keitaro, then I suppose I'd be fine with it. And…I wish you and Motoko nothing but the best together, okay? Even though it pains me so much to say that, I just want you to be happy, Keitaro." She said, with sorrow growing in her voice.
"I thank you for being honest, Naru, but I'm afraid that's no longer possible." Keitaro said, his gaze lowering to the floor.
"What? What are you talking about?" She asked.
"You see, after you left, Motoko came to see me. I felt it was unfair to keep the truth from her, so I told her everything that happened between us." Keitaro said.
"But why should that cause her to break things off? I mean, I'm the one who kissed you, and then you rejected me. She should have praised you for that." She said, walking up and standing close to him.
"She was fine with all that, I'm sure. But then, Motoko asked me…if I enjoyed your kiss. I hesitated and said that I didn't know at the time. The thing is, I did enjoy your kiss, Naru. But I would not trade my relationship with Motoko for that kiss. Now, she's lost her trust in me and on top of that, she hates me again. I Just don't know what to do, Naru." He said, rubbing his head with frustration.
"Keitaro, I'm so sorry for causing this whole mess." She said, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"No, it's not your fault. You were simply acting on your feelings for me. No one can blame you for that." He said, turning to her.
"Listen, maybe I should talk with her. I could give her my side of the story. That could help." She said, lifting his chin up to her.
"No. She obviously hates me now. It won't do any good." He said.
"That's not true. Listen, Keitaro. Girls can't shut off their feelings just like that. Deep down I know she still loves you. She's just really hurt." She said, reassuringly.
"More than anything, I do want to get her back, but you know Motoko. Once her mind is set it's like trying to chisel granite with a wooden cooking spoon." He said, with the sound of apathy.
"No. You can't give up, Keitaro. That…that's not the Keitaro Urashima I know!" She said, grabbing him by both shoulders.
He immediately looked her in the eyes. Then he thought about her words.
"You're right, Naru. You're absolutely right. Thank you so much." He said.
Keitaro turned, walked down the wooden steps and back into the house. Naru waved with a smile, but as he disappeared from her view, that smile quickly faded. As a single tear ran down her cheek and fell onto the polished wood at her feet, she thought,
'I did do the right thing, didn't I? Good luck, Keitaro.'
Motoko walked through the long halls of the apartments. She felt if she hadn't, she would have gone crazy just staying in one place. Finding her way to the rear balcony that overlooked the back courtyard, she then stood there and looked at it. Walking up, she placed her hands on the railing.
It felt warm to her, since the wood has been in the sun most of the day. She then folded her arms on the railing and rested her chin on top of them. Silently, she looked over the courtyard and at the abandoned annex beyond the way. Then the memory of the kiss that she and Keitaro shared under the moonlight came to her mind. It happened right where she was standing. Recalling every minute detail of that kiss, the sting of pain returned to her heart.
'Why? Why does love hurt so much? Why did this have to happen? And…why do I still yearn for him, the man who betrayed me? Why can't this hurt go away? I can't take it. Please, make it go away.' She thought to herself.
Then in the back of her mind, a voice popped up.
'I can make it go away.'
Motoko ignored it and continued her thoughts,
'I don't want to feel this way anymore. Love wasn't supposed to be in my destiny.'
Then the voice spoke again.
'You don't have to feel this way anymore. I can protect you.'
Shaking her head, denying the voice, she still continued.
'I am Motoko Aoyama. I am to inherit the Divinity School of Swordsmanship. I cannot be distracted from my goal.'
The voice came yet again,
'I can help you make it so.'
Now acknowledging the voice, she thought,
'Yes…that's it. I can drown it all away. Clear it all away until there is nothing left but the lessons of the samurai. That way, my thoughts will be pure once more.'
Motoko stood up, closed her eyes and placed her palms together before her. Thinking of nothing but the lessons she had been taught since the age of five, all the pain seemed to immediately disappear and ultimately no longer seemed to matter. All those feelings of love and longing were pounded down deep within her heart until they were no longer felt at all. She opened her eyes and the whole world seemed clear to her once more. Taking a deep breath, the surrounding nature seemed beautiful again.
Keitaro walked down the third floor hallway of the apartments. He is a desperate man seeking the only one person that can make him whole once more. After looking here and there, he walked through the sliding doorway and found that person. There she stood, looking at the scenery of the courtyard. Keitaro walked up slowly. He was hesitant and completely unsure of what to say. Then he took a deep breath and found the courage.
"Motoko? I need to talk to you."
She slowly turned around and looked upon Keitaro with an indifferent expression.
"What is there to talk about other than those things that are discussed between an apartment manager and a tenant." She said, coldly.
"Listen, Motoko. I am so sorry. About what happened between Naru and I…"
"That no longer matters to me."
Keitaro was stunned by her words.
"Motoko? What do you mean?"
Her emotionless look stayed unbroken.
"For a short time, I had lost sight of my goal of becoming a great swordswoman. Now my judgement is no longer clouded. I am going to forget everything that happened between us and live here as if nothing happened, Urashima."
Keitaro slowly shook his head in disbelief.
"Motoko, you don't mean that!"
Motoko closed her eyes.
"Yes…I do."
Motoko then slowly walked past Keitaro.
"Motoko. I did enjoy that kiss, that much is true…"
At those words, Motoko stopped in the doorway.
"But I would not choose Naru over you. Motoko, you're the one I really love! More than anything, I love you!"
She stood there for a moment as Keitaro stood still as well. A silence passed, then Motoko continued on and shut the door behind her. Keitaro fell to his knees and laid his head in his hands as the tears flowed from his eyes once more.
Late afternoon came and went. Throughout the evening, Motoko isolated herself far from everyone else in the woods behind the apartments. There, she practiced her kendo techniques tirelessly for hours. After the sun had set over the horizon, she lit several tall torches around her and continued her practice. Meanwhile, Keitaro moped around the apartments, clutched in the depths of depression. His heart felt as if it had been torn from his chest, dropped from the top of Tokyo Tower and then run over by a dump truck.
At around 9pm, Motoko came back from the woods, finally exhausted from her strenuous brand of self-training. Sweat covering her face, she went straight to the hot spring. After shedding her sweat soaked kendo robe, she donned a towel and dipped her sore body into the hot, soothing waters. This relaxed her strained muscles as the steam helped clear her head. However, something still bothered her deep down, poking at her soul, struggling for recognition. Forcing herself to ignore it, she simply gathered some water in her hands and splashed it onto her face.
After she finished her bath, Motoko returned to her room. Holding her sword in her right hand, she held it out before her and stared at it. Inside it, resided the memories of all the training that she has endured for most of her life.
'I am a samurai warrior.'
With a quick turn of the wrist, she placed it back on its display on top of her table. Motoko pulled out her futon from the closet, unfolded it on the floor and got herself ready for bed.
Outside, sitting at the top of the stone steps leading up to the apartments, was Keitaro. Hanging his head, he wallowed in self-pity. The future he had hoped to make possible with the special person he held so dear, had been shattered completely with the uttering of a single sentence from that very same person.
'Yes I do'.
The words echoed in his head, over and over. Each time hurting just as much as the last. Yet, he refused to give up, even if hope had turned its back on him. He still could not move on. He could not forget her, even if she had forgotten him. Keitaro refused to let go of the image of her that he holds dear inside his heart. As a result, he is a man frozen by his feelings, stuck right where he is. He realizes that the girl who fell in love with him no longer exists, but he keeps telling himself that she might still be in there, somewhere, somehow.
Is he a man still foolishly holding on to broken dreams? Or does he just have faith that love will find a way, somehow, some way. Who really knows for sure?