Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT. I wish I did, though. LOL! I can only dream to.

Warning: This fic may contain some harsh language and maybe some violence. However, it does contain angst. A lot of it, too. Thank you guys for reviewing my story. It means a lot to me. Oh, and thank you all for your help, too. I'm trying to correct the mistakes when I notice them and I want to thank you all for pointing some of them out for me.  The song lyrics in the chapter belong to Evanescence. The name of the song is "Lies" and is sung by Mikey and his 'voice'.  Pay closely attention to this chapter… You can clearly see that Mikey is already being persuaded through his dreams…his nightmares. BTW, this chapter is in his dreams.

SILENCE

Chapter 6

By Raphangela

"You will always be weak, Mikey!" Raphael laughed cruelly when he punched Mikey tremendously hard in the shoulder, which knocked the poor and exhausted turtle down onto the cold cement. Mikey looked up at his brother and he tried not to let the tears swell up into his eyes. Michelangelo cringed at the appearance of his brother's dark face and saw the evil smile his brother had made for him. Mikey then grabbed his own shoulder; he winced at the throbbing pain when he barely had touched it. He knew that it will become a big huge bruise sooner or later. He felt his mouth go dry and a lump had formed into his throat. He gulped the lump down his throat and felt like he could no longer contain the pain inside of him.

"Why?" He asked his brother. "Why are you hurting me like this?"

"Because you are a weak idiot, Mikey…" His brother replied as he crossed his arms. "And you will always be weak and idiotic, dear brother of mine." Raphael began to laugh cruelly at him brother's weaknesses.

"Stop it!" He yelled at his brother. "I can't stand it anymore!" His brother kept on laughing, except more evilly.

"I DEMAND THIS MEMORY TO GO AWAY AT ONCE!!"

/Mikey: Bound at every limb by my shackles of fear
Sealed with lies through so many tears
Lost from within, pursuing the end
I fight for the chance to be lied to again/

All at once his brother disappears in a blink of an eye. The memory of his brother had gone away…for awhile at least. Mikey begins to sob to himself, remembering the memory all too well. He remembers that it was several weeks ago when it happened, that his brother and he decided to have a little spar while they waited the others to return from their salvaging through a tiny junkyard not too far from where the city's garbage problem goes. It was only for fun, but Raph's ways of fun is entirely different from that of his. Raphael had almost pounded him senseless if weren't for the others returning before Raph almost got knocked unconscious. Of course, he forgave his brother and tried to put it all behind him of what had happened. He could easily tell that his brother didn't need much time to forget the whole deal, but for himself, Mikey couldn't forget. It stayed with him until now, but he never showed or said anything about it, nor did he let it affect his attitude or anything else. He kept himself smiling and joking, just like always. He refused to be like his brother or like anyone else for that matter. He remembers Raphael's punishment; Raphael was not allowed to leave the lair for a week and he had to clean the dishes the same week. That was all he had to do, but Raphael was angry at Mikey for that, though. At every night of that week, Raphael punched, flicked, and pushed him while nobody else was looking. Mike would've told on him, but Raphael threatened to punch his lights out if he did. So, that entire week, Mikey suffered miserably, but he was glad that it only lasted that week and Raphael returned to what he normally would do with his life… Waste it.

-He always wastes his life away… That's all he does and that's all he'll ever know.-

/Voice: You will never be strong enough
You will never be good enough
You were never conceived in love
You will not rise above/

"That bastard..." Mikey growls out loud. "Always going off drinking, taking drugs, and cutting himself. Who does he think he is?"   

-He's a pathetic fool, that's what. He's that type that never appreciates anything… A type that goes out to waste his life away on idiotic things like booze and drugs that waste the cells in the brain away…Not like he had any, anyway.-

"He never did…" Mikey concurs. "The fool! Oh, how I remember the times I use to secretly watch him and the things he did. I use to watch him cut himself in places, especially his wrists and arms. The suicidal lunatic… Cutting himself, feeling so sorry for himself… Always thinking that he's all alone in his pain and that no one feels the same as he does. I use to feel sorry for him…but now…He…he…he…makes me…he makes me…"

-Ill?-

/Mikey: They'll never see
I'll never be
I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger
Burning deep inside of me/

"Yes…He makes me feel bitterly ill about him. All he ever does is mope around and about himself, being self-centered, always hurting us…always hurting me. All he cares about is himself…" Mikey gasps and goes wide eyed. "What am I saying? He's my brother… What's gotten into me? Raph's my-"    

-Brother? How can you call that weakling your brother? How can you call someone who endlessly hurts you for only trying to help him and be there by his side? All he does is hurt you, Mikey. He never cared for you… Not even once.-

"Not true… He did help me…a lot… He saved me several times."

-Yes…but the real truth about him helping you is that he only does it because he has to. If he never did, he thinks he'll never hear the end of it from the others, which also feel the same way about you. You know that deep within yourself that he'll never truly care about you. In fact, he'd rather see you go…go and die. Don't tell me otherwise, because you know that it's what he desires of you.-

/Mikey: But through my tears breaks a blinding light
Birthing a dawn to this endless night
Arms outstretched, awaiting me
An open embrace upon a bleeding tree/

Mike remains quiet, not know what to say towards this for he knows that the voice is right. Raphael is always cruel to him, always hurting him, and he felt like his brother wanted him to die. He felt it so many times off of his older brother…And for this, Mikey knows that the voice is true and he is completely sick of the way his brothers treat him, especially Raphael.

-Face it, you're sick and tired of him and you know it! Remember the times when your brother hurt you? Remember when your brother had gotten angry when you won against him in sparring and he took a rusty wrench and almost hit you dead in the head?-

"Yes… He almost killed me…He…"

 -Wanted you to die! He always did and he still does. Remember the times he pushed you around and hit you so hard that you bled and had bruise marks for weeks? Remember the times he forced you to shut up about them? Remember how he told you to shut up about everything? How he hurt you not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well?-

/Voice: Rest in me and I'll comfort you
I have lived and I died for you
Abide in me and I vow to you
I will never forsake you/

Mikey nodded.

-And all you did was smile and let him overtake you. How pathetic must you be to let someone with less intelligence get away with such deeds? You really must be more stupid than he is to let him hurt you like that and get away with it. You must be really stupid to not only let him, but other as well, to laugh at you. Believe me, Michael, they're not laughing with you, they're laughing at you… They always have and always will…IF you let them.-

  

"I…I…I…"

/Mikey: They'll never see
I'll never be
I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger
Burning deep inside of me/

-You're sick and tired of the way the others treat you! All they ever do is hurt and abuse you! Not even Splinter shows you the recognition you deserve! Stand up for yourself!-

"I know…I know…I want to stop them…I want to stand up…but…I can't. If I do, they'll just ignore me and laugh at me…and Raph would be angrier at me. I tried to stand up several times against him for the way he treated me, but he turned around and hurt me…badly. He had pounded me senselessly when I did…and I couldn't even fight back." Mikey begins to sob harder. "I couldn't fight back!"

-Don't cry. Don't ever cry again! Dry up your tears… One must not cry over spilt milk. Crying is for the weak, that's why your brothers overtake you… You are weak. You are SO weak; everyone thinks little of you because of it. All they think is that you are is a dumb mother fucker who can't help but smile all the time, but cries silently to himself when problems occur. They know you cry, Michelangelo. They just haven't done a thing about it because they could care less about you or your well being! Don't cry…'Cause it's not going to make your problems go away. It's not going to stop them from hurting you. In fact, it makes things much worse. It makes them think you are too weak to stand up for yourself, so they take the opportunity to use and abuse you! And when they are all finished with you… They'll dumb you out on a small corner to rot and fester for the rest of your lives.-

/Mikey: They'll never see
I'll never be
I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger
Burning deep inside of me/

"But…but they are my friends… They'd never…"

-Friends?! Friends?! You have no friends! You only have yourself and you can only count on number uno! You, yourself, you can only count on yourself! No one loves you! You think they love you? You think they love you still, throughout all these years of inner torment they've put you through? You've got to be joking! Only a fool would think such things. Quit lying to yourself and see the truth! They DO NOT LOVE YOU and they will NEVER LOVE YOU!! It doesn't take a genius to see that! Even a simple minded fool can see such things! Don't be a fool, Michelangelo, quit lying to yourself and see the naked truth to it all- They don't even care!-

Michelangelo remains quiet for awhile for he can not reply at all, because he is at lost for words. In fact, he is lost completely. He felt the truth within himself, mixed with all of the pain and suffering he feels deep within. He wants to be happy, he wants to be the same as he always is, but something keeps pulling at his heart and at his mind.

/Voice: Rest in me and I'll comfort you
I have lived yet died for you
Abide in me and I vow to you
I will never forsake you/

-If you ever want to achieve anything in your life… If you want to finally end the pain within yourself… You must make a stand. You must stand up and get stronger. You must give into me… If you do, I promise you that I'll make you stronger. I'll give you all of your desires. I'll make all of your wishes come true… And I'll make sure no one will ever hurt you again. But…You must give into me, your true self. If you don't, you'll never get stronger… You'll always be weak. You'll always get ran over and used. You will always be hurting and crying within yourself…and you will waist away and die just like everyone wants you to.-

"All…ever want…is for me to…suffer…" He shuts his eyes tightly and clinches his fists. "I HATE them! I hate them all!"

- Don't let them win, Mikey. Don't let them have that satisfaction of seeing you suffer away… Prove to them, to yourself, that you are way much better than they think. Prove to them that if they stand outside during a Class 5 hurricane, they're going to get killed.-    

/Mikey: They'll never see
I'll never be
I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger
Burning deep inside of me/

To Be Continued

Hopefully Mikey will be waking up soon. You'll have to wait and see what happens next.