~*~*~*~*~
We're doomed, Quatre thought, watching the havoc that was Duo Maxwell disrupt the SGC cafeteria line. Cups rolled. Bowls clattered. Shredded cabbage flew through the air, decking a few slow-moving airmen in green and purple strips.

"Maxwell!" Colonel O'Neill had his hands planted on his hips, as if only the firm touch of his uniform kept him from reaching for a certain throat. "Put the knife down!"

"It was twitching!" Duo defended himself, still aiming serrated plastic at the wobbling mass of crimson.

"It's Jello," Jack said dryly. "It's supposed to twitch."

"It is?" A gleam lit violet eyes.

I knew it. Quatre sighed. We're doomed.

But Relena was a bright spark of suppressed laughter behind him, welcome contrast to the gray wariness that had swamped her since they'd heard Anise was here. Trowa and Wufei had relaxed slightly, loading their dishes with more recognizable food. Even Heero had let a glimmer of amusement through the mental wall Wing Zero's leader kept between himself and his emotions.

Only Sally was still wound tight in worry, vibrating like a Gundam about to launch every time her glance passed the door, as if she expected the Tok'ra to appear and pounce, scalpels in hand. "It'll be okay," Quatre said softly. Nodded toward Duo's black cap jammed over her hair, and touched his heart lightly. "They'll never see you."

"There's a limit to how long you can project," Sally murmured back.

"Ignore her, she's harmless?" Quatre shrugged. Touched her hand, and smiled. "Unless dinner lasts a few hours, we'll be fine." Alien arrogance brushed the edge of his spaceheart; he glanced at Heero. "Here they come."

"Understood." Heero headed straight as a guided missile to one of the empty tables with the best view of the exits. Set his tray down without a sound, but with a rock-solid stance that said sit here and die.

The table they left for us, Quatre thought, letting his gaze pass over Daniel and Teal'c at the next table as the rest of the Wing headed that way and Jack disentangled Duo from quivering, cherry-scented crimson. Nice of them.

"Hey Heero! Want to try some?" Grinning, Duo balanced a trembling red slice on the flat of his knife.

Heero eyed the gel. Eyed Duo. Turned a look of subtle exasperation on Jack.

"He does this a lot?" Jack interpreted.

"Kitchens fear him." Wufei lifted a pickle in his chopsticks, munched with careful deliberation.

Trowa shifted in his chair, uncomfortable without Hrere's warm presence nearby. "I wish she were here, too," Quatre said softly.

"Yeah, well. Given the circumstances," Jack's eyes strayed toward the door, where Sam had appeared with Jacob and two unfamiliar faces, "I have to say thanks for leaving the cat in your quarters."

"She wouldn't like the crowd." Trowa's bangs obscured his gaze, but Quatre could feel his attention focussed on the nearing Tok'ra. As all of theirs was; even Duo's, as he played with his food.

"You sure you'll be okay, Lady Peacecraft?" Jack persisted. "They're annoying, but they've got their good points." He paused. "Once in a while."

"We'll be fine." Relena waved off his concern. "Your team's waiting for you, Colonel. Go. Take a break from diplomacy." She smiled. "I am."

"Why do I get this sinking feeling when you say that?" Shaking his head, Jack abandoned them.

"You confuse him, Relena," Quatre confided in their native tongue. "He wants to protect you, even if he knows you don't need it. I think you remind him of another girl. One who isn't an adult yet."

"But you say we are their country's legal age?" Relena arched a brow. "If this is going to be a problem, we may need to call in older negotiators."

"Don't yield the tactical advantage," Heero said bluntly.

"He's got a point," Duo nodded. "Far as I got out of Daniel, we're legal. Well, you are, and Sally definitely is," he admitted. "We may be skimming the edges."

Trowa glanced up. "Incoming."

"Damn," Sally muttered.

"Hmm." Relena bent her attention back to her meal as Ambassador Carter, a male Tok'ra in desert hues, and a female in a… garment of leather, stalked up behind her. "So. Wufei. What did you think of that very abbreviated SGC history? Dr. Jackson was trying to play down his role, but I can see why there's such a price on his head…."

Let's play a little game called patience. Quatre hid a smile. Just as well he was trying not to pay attention to the blonde Tok'ra. The last time he'd seen anyone, male or female, dressed with such indecent taste, he'd been in a Preventer raid on an illegal red-lantern house. So that's Anise? I thought Tok'ra weren't in the habit of flaunting their hosts' bodies.

"Goa'uld bounties! Placed by creatures that don't know the justice of a fatal duel," Wufei snorted. Waved his chopsticks, apparently oblivious to the woman who had to be grating on every nerve a properly raised Chang had. "They slaughter humans by the millions and only imprison their enemy System Lords. A coward's way."

Jacob cleared his throat.

Relena didn't even twitch. "True."

"We should be cautious here, as well," Wufei noted. "If the SGC allowed duels, I doubt they would have so many difficulties with their rogue NID counterparts…."

Relena listened, nodding here and there. Sally countered with the advantages of first-blood to fatal duels, especially when you were trying to prove a point. Trowa and Duo were experimenting with the aerodynamic properties of the peppershaker. Heero watched it all, inserting a word or two when various voices raised. Quatre focussed on his supper - this sukiyaki wasn't bad, even if the combination of flavors and meats was nothing like home - and wove a subtle shield of innocent distraction around Sally.

And the Tok'ra fidgeted.

"That might be a legal sticking point," Relena pointed out.

"Hai," Wufei nodded. "If we are to have a lasting alliance, we must exchange copies of our respective laws. And we will have to determine what laws hold, and where, for Sanq and Earth fighters."

"And civilians," Sally added. "They'll be here too, if this works."

"Yes." Relena sipped her iced tea. Eyed the sweetened drink with surprise, shrugged, and sipped again. "If two of our people have a duel here, I want to know what the consequences will be. And if two of their people duel on our world - we should agree with General Hammond in advance on how it should be handled."

Pepper discarded, Trowa and Duo were sketching out something complicated on a napkin. Quatre eyed a chemical structure that looked a little too much like a compound found in the middle of Duo's more impressive explosions, and murmured a brief prayer to the kami.

"Excuse me," Jacob said finally.

Relena turned, all bright attention. "Ambassador Carter!" she said in English. "Good evening. That is the right phrase, isn't it? How are you enjoying dinner? I think it could take some time to get used to the idea of this 'Jello' creation; it's very different from the jellies we have on Sanq. But it does have a certain aesthetic appeal, don't you think? The translucence, the element of motion in a motionless creation, the refraction…."

"We did not come here for art." Anise stepped forward. "You have information we require."

The room vibrated like a struck tuning fork to the sound of a Goa'uld voice; tension, fear, outrage. Quatre braced himself against the Wing's readiness, wincing at the spike of unconscious loathing and self-hate from Daniel. A Goa'uld must have hurt him, Quatre realized. Intimately. Even Sam doesn't hate them like Daniel does.

"Really," Relena said softly. "Humans. Holding information such advanced creatures as your race can't discover for themselves." She shrugged. "I can't imagine what that could possibly be."

"Don't play games, young lady," Jacob said warningly. "Your medusas killed a lot of good people. Maybe they're hiding. Maybe you don't know how dangerous they are. Maybe that Ashrak got Stheno's records, maybe he didn't - either way, you're going to tell us what you know." His gaze raked the table. "All of you."

Quatre suppressed a snort, catching the flickers of dark amusement from his fellow pilots. Not if you had us stripped naked, chained to a wall, and wired with memory devices. Macha couldn't get information we didn't want her to have.

"Dad," Sam stuck in.

"Jacob." Jack's voice held its own warning.

"Colonel. Major." Relena raised a calming hand. "If such information existed, Ambassador, I'm certain it would be… what was that word, Heero?"

"Classified," Heero said flatly.

"An excellent word," Relena said warmly. "But not the kind we should toss around during dinner. Especially if we wish the cook to be so obliging a second time!"

Anise's gaze didn't waver. "Then you will leave this 'dinner'."

"But that would be rude! Although-" Relena's gaze brushed Anise's outfit. Or lack of same. "I can see our definitions of rudeness differ. Still, I'm certain neither of us wishes to insult our hosts-"

"Maybe you don't understand, Miss," Jacob cut in sharply. "The fate of our people is at stake."

"No," Relena said softly, leaning her chin on her hand. "No, I don't think it is. After all, I've heard you're such advanced, intelligent people, with great respect for your allies against the Goa'uld. If there truly were such a threat, Ambassador, I'd imagine you'd be very polite. And considerate." She smiled, demure and dangerous as a sheathed blade. "And certainly not so rude as to barge in on a friendly meal."

Anise's eyes glittered. Jacob's jaw worked. The unnamed Tok'ra edged back, all too aware of the clash of wills.

Clatter. Pouff.

And an otherwise-innocent peppershaker had touched down in the middle of Wufei's now-empty soup bowl, dusting the Dragon with gritty black.

"Die, Maxwell!"

Forewarned, the rest of the Wing had their cups safely in hand when Wufei tore away from the table, chasing a laughing Shinigami through the cafeteria. "It's all right," Quatre called to SG-1. Sneezed at the drifting cloud of pepper. "They do this a lot."

"Injustice!"

The lone Tok'ra in desert clothes didn't move in time as the mad pair tore back through, eyes wide as Duo dodged around him. "What is the meaning of this behavior?"

"Teenagers, Caton," Jacob sighed as Duo skipped around SG-1's table, using a startled Teal'c as a temporary shield from Wufei's hooked fingers. "Just - teenagers."

"Intolerable!" Anise stalked forward, snatched at a slender wrist. "You will cease this-"

Blood flew.

Quatre found himself shoulder to shoulder with Sally behind the table he and Trowa had upended with one swift heave, miniature dart gun in hand, no killing a firm clamp on pilot's reflexes. Heero had yanked Relena behind their cover even as they moved, ignoring the crimson spattering from her fan. And two sharp points of ferocity made it clear that Wufei and Duo had dropped their mock-chase, ready to catch the Tok'ra in a lethal crossfire.

"Everybody stop!"

~*~*~*~*~
Sanity, Daniel implored the universe, stepping between the hostile groups. Very hostile; Caton and Anise hadn't ducked quickly enough when Quatre and Trowa had flung the table over, and both were wearing what was left of the Wing's dinner. Anise, in particular, had slick red gel dripping down her… um. No. Not looking. Daniel yanked his gaze up to gold-glowing eyes, and felt his heart quicken; the room seemed to shiver with dark clarity. Just give us a few minutes of sanity, here.

And maybe the universe was listening. The Wing was aiming, yes - but only aiming. Waiting.

They set that chase up on purpose, Daniel realized, noting Duo and Wufei's positions, safely out of reach of any fast grab by SGC personnel. Jack, I hope you noticed… yep, you did. Security had just appeared at the cafeteria door, making their way in without fanfare.

"Dammit, Anise!" Jacob dragged the bleeding Tok'ra back by main force. "You're a scientist. Count!"

"Everyone, just calm down," Daniel said levelly. "Lady Peacecraft?"

A harsh whisper came from behind the table.

"It's all right, Heero." Relena's voice was shaken, but undaunted. Daniel caught a glimmer of blonde hair, before someone yanked the diplomat back down. "I'm all right."

Another whisper. Almost a snarl.

"I said stand down, Preventer Yuy."

Reluctantly, those behind the table stood, weapons no longer in view. Relena brushed stray specks off her dress, accepted a paper napkin from Quatre to wipe down her fan. "Thank you, gentlemen. I'm fine."

Smiling up into Teal'c's level glare, Duo slipped his gun back into his sleeves. "Fun party, huh?"

"Okay, people." Holding back security with a look, Jack swept a glare over both groups impartially. "Either you play nice, or I start sending people to separate corners. What the hell just went wrong here?"

"Good question," Daniel said judiciously. Weird; he didn't feel nearly as worried as he knew he should be with a fight about to break out. The fear was there, but it was… detached. Shadowed. Must be stress. "Preventer Yuy. What did you just see happen?"

"What did he see? What sort of inane question-" Anise growled.

Jacob wrapped a steely hand around her shoulder. "Let Freya take over. Now."

"A symbiote attempted to restrain a high government official of Sanq. Purpose unknown," Heero said flatly. "Preventers are trained to survive a hand-to-hand conflict with a Goa'uld's superior strength and kill it before it can take them as hosts. Civilian officials are trained to resist and escape." He nodded at Relena. "Well executed."

Relena blushed.

Brushing off lettuce, Caton's anger diffused into confusion. "But we're Tok'ra! We wouldn't have-"

"A Goa'uld," Wufei said precisely, weapon hidden once more, "Would seize an official of Sanq for two reasons, and two reasons only. Possession. Or torture." The black gaze smoldered. "Occasionally both."

"And her symbiote likes blondes," Quatre said softly, blue-green eyes fixed on Freya.

Daniel swallowed dryly. I could've gone a long time without knowing that. "Freya? Would you mind telling us what Anise had in mind?"

Hand wrapped around her bloodied wrist, Freya drew herself up, nostrils flared. "Do you allow your own allies to be so mishandled, O'Neill?"

"When they get grabby? Yeah," Jack said dryly. "Answer the question."

Freya sniffed. "The High Council will hear of this."

"Oh, you bet they will." Jacob let go of her, face sour. "Come on, Freya. It was a mistake. Let's start over here."

"There's really no need, Jacob." Caton reassured him. "We would have liked to speak with those of Sanq, but their attitude toward our kind is… much as we expected, given they are the source of medusas. Perhaps such communications might better go through General Hammond." He smiled pleasantly. "The Council was relieved to learn you had been retrieved, Dr. Jackson. I'm reassured we won't have to compromise our networks by indiscriminately releasing information on Gault."

Daniel heard the blood pounding in his ears. Why you low-life manipulative little-

If I moved right now, who'd back me? Sam's too close to Jacob. Heero's guarding Relena. Teal'c's blocking Wufei and Duo… he could only grab one of them, but that takes them both out, since somebody's got to be backup. Jack would probably try to grab me. But Sally's a Preventer. She can look after herself. So Quatre and Trowa are clear….

Yes. Clear and ready and brightly there, a flame of presence amongst the shadows graying the rest of the room. One move, just one, and-

Wait a minute. What am I thinking?

Blue-green eyes regarded him, suddenly wary. Quatre glanced toward Duo, touched a hand to his heart.

And calm poured over Daniel like spring water.

Calm. Warmth. Safe. Enemy at bay. Safe….

Quatre? Daniel backed up against a table, suddenly unsteady. These were Tok'ra, not Goa'uld. Not the enemy. Exactly. Even if one of them was Anise, who had-

Hurt Jack, a cool, angry part of his mind pointed out. Hurt Sam. Hurt Teal'c.

And there were allies right here, allies who surely wouldn't mind if he borrowed a handy weapon-

Warmth redoubled, pinning his anger firm as one of Jack's come-along holds. Calm….

"…If you'll excuse us, Colonel," Jacob's tight voice pricked through that blanket of peace, "I need to speak with my associates about an update on those reports I requested."

"You do that." Jack's smile was friendly. Polite. Full of the promise of mayhem if people decided to stop being polite.

Jacob nodded. "Lady Peacecraft-"

Relena turned her hand palm-up, displaying the bloodied napkin.

And then not, as crimson-stained paper burst into white flame.

Relena turned her hand over, letting filmy gray ash drift away from unmarked skin. "I think we've all had enough diplomacy for one day, Ambassador."

The Tok'ra flinched. Narrowed his eyes. "We'll talk later."

Leaving. Daniel all but fell into a chair, cradling his head in his hands as the doors thudded behind the Tok'ra. Thank gods.

"Itai…." A second chair squeaked as Quatre slumped against the Wing's table. "Um. Right there."

Daniel looked up enough to see Trowa kneading the nape of his partner's neck. "Are you all right?" Sam asked.

"A lot of hate," Quatre said faintly.

Teal'c moved in, regarding the empath with troubled confusion. "Such sensitivity would seem to make it difficult to engage in battle."

"They're trained for it," Sally shot back. "Lady Peacecraft-"

"Relena." Some of the starch went out of the diplomat's stance. "As I said. I think we've all had enough for one day."

Jack checked his watch. "They should be off this level by now," he said frankly. "Mind if we walk you home?"

Relena smiled tiredly. "I would appreciate it, Colonel." Taking Heero's arm, she started chattering away in Sanq's Universal, sounding for all the world like a bubbly teenager unwinding after a long day.

Uh-huh. Teenager. Right. Concentrating on putting one tired foot in front of the other as they walked to the elevator, Daniel listened.

"It seems the Tok'ra have difficulty with the word 'no'." Relena swept her gaze over the Wing as they walked. "Gentlemen. You have my permission to do whatever is necessary."

Duo bounced along, grinning. "Can we short-sheet their beds?"

"Include explosives."

Heero's lips bent, the very faintest hint of a smile. "Ninmu ryoukai."

~*~*~*~*~
"Your kitty okay back there, Trowa?" Jack finished punching in the access code to the surface hatch. The green scents of the forest night swept in as steel opened. Jack swung himself out, offered Daniel a hand up. Taking a winged cat up a ladder. Not my idea of a good time, the colonel thought, noting how Heero was still a precise distance behind his archaeologist. But there's no way we could get her past the elevator guys at NORAD. Teal'c can walk through with a hat - we'd have to take her up in a crate, and after all the Wildfire alerts, there's no way they wouldn't ask why our package was growling.

"Fine."

"Ah, don't worry about Hrere-kitty," Duo's voice floated up the shaft. "Catherine was teaching her about ladders before she was old enough to leave the nest, and Tro took over once Hrere came from the circus to live with us. He kind of draws the line at taking her across tightropes, though. Hrere's got a better knack for security work than performances…."

"Daniel." Jack rolled his eyes at the shaft, watching the archaeologist step into the deepening twilight. "Does that kid ever stop talking?"

"Only when something's trying to kill him," Daniel quipped.

"Inaccurate." Heero scanned the small clearing around the hatch, steps silent in the greenery.

Jack raised a curious brow. For someone who'd supposedly grown up on a space colony, Yuy moved like a trained wilderness fighter. "Tries to talk 'em out of it, huh?"

"Sometimes it works." Duo was up and out of the hatch in one smooth move, braid twitching as he tried to look everywhere at once. "Cool!"

"Hn."

"Okay, I gotta admit. You two don't exactly seem like the most likely partners." Jack kept an eye on the hatch edge, ready to bolt if the esmeril decided Earth wasn't friendly.

Duo looked pointedly between the two of them. "And you do?"

Point, Jack thought. Suicidal Black Ops colonel meets sneezing archaeologist geek. Goes with said geek to another planet. Watches him throw himself in the way of a staff blast. Finds him alive. Helps him start a rebellion. Blows up a System Lord. And somewhere in there realizes this guy might be the best thing that ever happened to him. If anybody else had met under that weird of circumstances, he hadn't run into them yet. Yeah. Like anybody else could meet up that badly and live through it. The universe isn't that weird.

"It's a long story," Daniel admitted. "So how did you pair up? Assigned partners, some preexisting clan relationship…."

"Oh, I shot him," Duo said cheerfully. "But he got over it-"

"Omae o korosu!"

"Mostly," Duo shrugged.

Okay. The universe has a sick sense of humor, Jack decided, as silver fur flowed over the shaft edge to pad onto the ground. "Ommy o what?"

"Loosely?" Daniel murmured. "I will kill you."

Erk.

"Don't worry." Trowa flipped up and over, executing a neat double somersault before touching down. "Heero doesn't usually warn people he plans to shoot."

Oh. Joy. "You're an acrobat?" Jack looked at Trowa askance.

"Big cats, tightropes, circuses… what do you guys have in your circuses?" Duo bounced over to a wildflower, touching a finger to closed blue petals.

"Not usually fighter pilots," Daniel observed. Stiffened as a breeze wandered through. "Jack…."

"Better sit him down." Duo skipped back over to them. "Take it easy. You're okay."

"I'm not sure about that." Daniel wobbled down, leaning on Jack's arm. "That's… different."

Jack crouched down by him, not worrying about his knees. What was a little leaf mold between friends? "Daniel?"

The archaeologist took a deep breath, lines of strain easing around his eyes. "Better. It was so still down there, Jack. I didn't realize… it just feels…." Daniel bit his lip. "Nice," he admitted, almost inaudible.

"Like having a big mug of hot chocolate all to yourself," Duo nodded. "Oh yeah. Wind's good."

"Cozy," Daniel murmured fuzzily, resting his head on Jack's shoulder. "'S nice."

"Daniel?" Jack repeated warily.

"Hmm?" Daniel's eyes were closed, the blond head nestling into the crook of his neck.

No way, Jack thought, exasperated, trying to get his legs under himself as six-feet-plus of archaeologist sagged onto him. Daniel, you know we're supposed to be watching our guests, you are not going to sleep on me-

Heero raised a finger to his lips, a faint warmth in storm-blue eyes. "It's all right, Colonel," he said quietly. "We don't plan to leave this vicinity without your authorization."

Damn well better not, Jack thought, accepting Duo's help to lean his friend up against the shaft wall. Daniel was well and truly out, and how on earth was he going to explain this to the general? "You knew this was going to happen."

"I reviewed Sally's files on Shinigami in transition. The nervous system alterations require considerable dreaming periods to integrate." Yuy glanced at Duo. "And Duo prefers sleeping in moving air. He's capable of remaining unconscious through full-force bansidhes."

"Banshees?" Jack asked.

"Windstorms," Duo filled in. "Really, really big windstorms. And Hee-chan? Hate to be the one to clue you in, but if the weather's that bad, nobody but nuts and Gundam pilots are out in it." The braided teen craned his head upward, watching clouds chase through the starlit black of mountain skies. "Air's thinner here than Sanq… is it like that all over Earth? The gravity feels about like home. Are we just high up?"

Daniel's right. These kids are quick. "About a mile above sea level, yeah," Jack said. Ran a few quick calculations in his head. "Something like fifteen times the height from the 'Gateroom to here." Gray-furred membranes spread wide as Trowa stroked Hrere's neck, sleek fur gleaming silver in the starlight. "Quatre going to be okay without you?"

"Distance doesn't matter." Trailing a cord for Hrere to paw, Trowa touched his heart. "He's always here."

Okaaaay. Every time I think this job can't get weirder…. "Okay, Yuy. What'd you want to talk about that you didn't want the general hearing?"

Heero regarded him, face still.

"Look," Jack said patiently, slipping down to sit by his slumbering archaeologist. Heero had given his word. Might as well take him at it. "You say Chang's got the better legal knowledge. Fine. I believe that, even if he does look like a refugee from Kung Fu Theater. And I can see why you left Quatre down there; kid's got a headache that could use a whole bottle of aspirin. But. You are the guy in charge of Lady Peacecraft's security, while she's on a planet you don't know, and she wouldn't send you up here just to keep Hrere from chasing rabbits. Not even to make sure Duo got calmed down… she doesn't know you made it out of the shrine, does she?"

"Most people don't." Duo's smile slipped a little. "And… I didn't."

Part of you didn't. That's for sure. Jack watched him closely. Eight years old and your whole family got wiped out in front of you. He didn't need to ask what that did to a kid. The answer was sleeping on his shoulder. "So," he shot at Heero, "Give. What did you want to talk about?" Better not have anything to do with those explosives Danny said Relena mentioned, Jack thought.

Heero nodded once. "We've been assigned a mission of moderate difficulty."

Okay, it does.

"Non-combat. Reconnaissance, infiltration, and extraction." Heero hesitated. "An opportunity to determine how our personnel might interact, under moderate but non-lethal stress," he offered.

Then again, maybe it doesn't. "No offense, but you're not infiltrating anything on this base."

"Not within current mission parameters."

Jack raised a skeptical brow. "Or Earth."

"Cold, and getting colder," Duo observed, stretching like a cat.

"Wing Zero is capable of accomplishing it alone." Heero weighed Jack in his gaze. "But SG-1's assistance, if provided, would significantly increase chances of mission success and reduce potential casualties."

Jack raised the other brow. "You know, guys, hints are good," he observed.

Hands buried in silver fur, Trowa smiled. "We know a way to activate transport rings without their usual controller."

"You know a way to-" Jack stopped. Poked at that idea in his head. Turned it over, and added it to what Daniel had overheard. No way. They wouldn't. "And just how does that fall under the category of not stirring up trouble with Earth's allies?"

Duo hmphed, striking a proud pose. "They started it." And lost it in one quick bounce, clasping his hands together in a bright-eyed, devil-may-care grin. "Please? Quatre said you'd have great ideas! And we gotta look in your supply stores. I brought the glitter, but I don't know if I've got enough glue!"

~*~*~*~*~
"Ninmu ryoukai."- Mission accepted.