Hey, I finally came up with part 2...will come up with part 3 some day...Any who, the thirty second rule is not my idea, it is from Douglas Adam's "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"(An awesome book, which I recommend to everyone). I also do not own any of the characters from this story, although 99 of the jokes I invent.

First Day!

"HEEERRRRMMMIIIOOONNNIIEEEE!!!!!!!!" Ron bellowed.

"ROOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!(pronounced as Rawn, not rune)" Hermione bellowed.

"HEERRMMIIIOOONEEE!!!!!" Harry bellowed, because he felt oddly out of place, if he was not shouting.

Hermione also bellowed, "HAAAIRRYYY!!!" Not because she was being nice, but because she looked at the lunch she had, and remembered she had packed it before setting out for Columbia. Thus, her sandwich had become hairy, even though it had passed the thirty-second-rule(The thirty-second rule: A rule created in the early 1900's by a muggle biologist who had discovered the negative effects of bacteria. The rule is that if one watches an object infested with bacteria, and if it does not move within thirty seconds, it is most likely not bio-hazardous, or living). Realising that it was rude not to reply when bellowed to, Hermione shouted,

"HAAARRRYYY!!!!", this time, referring to Harry.

"How was your summer?!" Harry inquired.

"Just fantabulous! Guess whose Head Girl of Hogwarts?" Ron asked.

"That's my line, you (insert word that seems to fit best here)!!!" Hermione bawled at him.

"So that's why it seemed a bit odd...I did notice how I seemed a bit odd saying fantabulous..." Ron said.

"ok, so anyways, here we go again. Just fantabulous! Guess whose Head Girl of Hogwarts?" Hermione said.

"Err, um you?" Harry guestimated.

"Yes! How did you guess? You're so great Harry! Anyways, let's get on the train before it leaves!" Hermione suggested.

And so the trio left the entrance to the train station, to head towards the train, only to go back to the entrance to get their luggage they had forgotten, and walked back to the train. Tragically enough, there were no more rooms left, so the group of three had to share a compartment with their enemy Draco Malfoy, and his goons, Crabbe and Goyle.

Harry, Hermione, and Ron walked into the compartment, which was at the end of the aisle, and were terrified at the sight of what they saw. Draco Malfoy, their arch-nemesis, had magically redecorated the room to be pink and purple, and was talking with a lisp to Crabbe and Goyle. That was the end of the nightmare however. The enemy and his friends were dressed in frilly white silk pyjamas, and had had their hair done quite nicely, if I may say so.

"...And tho I thayz to Tharah, Girrrl, that dreth ith jutht abtholutely fabulouth, and to die for. Tho I athk her where thee got it, and thee thayz thee won't tell me cuz I'm thcaring her! Can you believe her? Ugh! Like what is like up with that?" Malfoy thaid...I mean said. Goyle and Crabbe(thought I'd give Goyle the first place, because people always say Crabbe and Goyle, not Goyle and Crabbe) looked furious about Sarah, and tried to reassure Malfoy that he was absolutely normal, and gorgeous. However, they noticed Harry, Hermione, and Ron at the door, looking like they'd just seen a deceased ghost talking to a particularly ugly and warty banshee in Uzbekistan about plans of world domination, with a very high pitched voice in a Star Bux(I'm not surprised if the ghost and the particularly ugly banshee are part of Star Bux's mega corporationand star bux is spelled wrong on purpose due to copy right laws). The three feminine boys did a pirouette(they had decided that jumping when they were surprised was too predictable), and started singing Kumbaya. Rapidly changing the decorations and their apparel, Draco smiled innocently, and lost his lithp.

"What are you doing here? Thith, I mean this cabin ith, IS off limits to hobos(glaring at Ron), geeks(staring dreamily at Hermione...Oh wait never mind. This isn't a Hermione and Draco fic. So I guess he glared), and PMS-ing girls(glaring oddly enough only at Harry, due to his over-board mood swings and complaints)." Draco sneered.

"Well Draco, I'm sorry it has come to this, but can we please stay in your cabin? There aren't any others left." Hermione pleaded, feeling slightly confused by Draco staring dreamily at her, but then glaring a second later.

"On one condition. You must do as we say for the ride to Hogwarts! MWAHAHA!!!" Draco laughed evilly.

"We'll do as you say for 1/5 of the ride" Hermione replied.

"7/5" Goyle joined in, trying to seem involved.

"2/5" Ron replied.

"1/5"Crabbe also replied, trying not to be out done by Goyle.

"3/5"Harry said.

"Fine." They all said at once.

Dean Thomas then jumped in through the wall, which luckily enough had a hole in it, and said "Sold! For 3/5 of the ride to the lady with pubes growing out of her head, the guy who's head is on fire, the PMSing man, and the other boy. You know who you are".

The people in the cabin, angry at Dean's description of them and his mistake of a negotion for an auction, decided to throw him out of the ceiling, into the second floor.

Afterwards, Hermione just at in the corner, whispering to herself,

"head girl, head girl, head girl....Think of becoming head girl head girl head girl....Oh god, this is going to be a long trip".