You were stupid, you did a rash act out of loyalty and love so pure for one you held a bond so strong. You were wrongly accused, for that you suffered for 15 years. And your mind wasted away, and you doubted everything you ever knew. All hope flickered becoming only a dim glow in the back of your thoughts, burned into the depths of your mind along with their memory. That one day maybe the truth would come out, that someone would find him, that your best friend would understand, and come to wrench you from that hell hole.
But you saw the look in his eyes, he thought it was you who betrayed them, and took their lives. To unexpectedly leave their only child with no family, your god son. To let each of them face what they've been fighting against all their lives, and what they feared.
Why them? Why were they burdened with this, what did they do to deserve this? It is even honorable? When you don't know the outcome. That maybe you have delivered their whole family into death and it is only a matter of time until the last one falls in a courageous fight, he's been fighting for all his life, and he will know no different. He will never know freedom, of mind or body.
Maybe you should die. How did you miss it? Why did you let it get this far, he was so weak, and yet he caused all this.
But you weren't expecting it to end this way. To fall at her hand, to fall so gracefully, with shock the last expression on your face. That your life withered for so many years was swept away so suddenly, you were taken from him. The only family you had. And he was alone again, utterly alone.
I hope, no, I know you are with them, all watching over him. But he lives to see you again, yet he wants to die to see you again. But knows he can't be that selfish. There are people that need him, people he loves and cares about that he must fight for. And he needs them.
But oh, how I grieve for you, for your loss of life that I never knew that well. But I knew your freedom and your pain with frustration, and I knew your smile, your loyalty and your struggles. I knew I loved you for every detail I knew about you. You were flawless to me, but you are gone. And I can't stop my tears from falling for you.
Even though, you never existed outside paper and mind, and you never will.