A suggestion from the author...
Okay, we all know I haven't updated this thing in months. Well. This chapter is going to start pulling out old information and bringing back little sub-plots, particularly the one between Leon and Cloud. I strongly advise you to skim back over the last two or three chapters before reading this, just to refresh your memory a bit. Otherwise, you could be a bit lost. It's just a suggestion though. If you decide not to, it's not critical or anything.
(x) (x) (x)
One for the Band - Chapter Sixteen
'The Boy Feels Strange'
Sora's eyes scanned over his surroundings, doing their best to take in as many details as possible as Sora himself was shuffled along in the crowd of students, all filtering away from the docks and deeper into the city. Even from his awkward position deep within the throng of people, Sora could easily make out the handfuls of chaperones doing their best to keep the students together so no one got lost on their way to the train station.
"Excited yet?" Riku asked from beside him with a grin.
Sora could only nod numbly, his gaze still riveted on everything going on around him. The downtown areas of Destiny Islands were nothing compared to the sheer chaos that seemed through thrive on this seaside city on the mainland. Taxis, carts, newsstands, stalls, trucks, gas-stations on every corner...
Brightly painted signs, neon lights, enormous buildings seemingly made of nothing but pure and pristine glass panes...
Riku chuckled to himself as he studied Sora. It was impossible not to be amused by the simply awestruck expression Sora wore at that moment. Tearing his gaze away from his boyfriend, he allowed the simple feeling of the city to wash over him, but didn't exactly find himself drowning in it like Sora. The place was as amazing as it ever was, but it wasn't anything new. Nothing more than a change of surroundings and a slightly cooler environment that Riku was only too happy to embrace.
Once they entire band was herded across five blocks of bumper-to-bumper traffic and frustrated drivers, they were directed into a large train station that held a friendly familiarity to the older band members. Of course, Sora was again astounded by things he'd never seen, and the structure of the station continued to amaze the brunette. It was almost entirely glass... Like nothing was even there at all...
"We're going to be on the train for a couple hours," Leon reminded them. During their procession to the station, the band had clumped off into social groups and clusters of friends, Cloud and Leon stumbling across the two at some point in time while Paine and Rikku were probably off scouring the nearest gift shop with Yuna (though in Paine's case, she was probably simply being dragged along). The train station, which had previously been rather empty and quiet, suddenly found itself teeming with teenagers, goofing off and no doubt disturbing the peace of the quiet little haven they'd first entered.
Sora nodded eagerly, linking arms with Riku and shooting a grin at their small little group. "Alrighty then! Let's eat!"
Riku chuckled, ruffling Sora's hair playfully as he chided, "That wasn't a cue to go pig out, Sora. The train's gonna be here soon and I don't feel like having to wrestle an ice cream sandwich away from you to force you onboard."
Sora scowled slightly before falling into a resigned pout. "But I'm hungry... I haven't eaten since breakfast." Granted, that was only a few hours ago... but still. "And I need to go to the bathroom and I told my mom I'd buy her something and--"
Leon cut in, rubbing his temples with his index fingers and closing his eyes in a rather desperate attempt to drown out Sora's... abnormally perky nature. "Okay. We'll go buy food, you buy something for your mom and go to the bathroom. The train should be here by the time that's all done, so just... meet us there." Master of all plans, right there, Cloud thought. Grinning wickedly, he readied himself to pounce on the gorgeous brunette.
Unfortunately, he missed his target as Leon stepped away, already headed towards the small food court the train station held. Damn. Sprawled across the floor of the train station and drawing several odd looks from innocent bystanders, Cloud had the nagging feeling Leon had done it one purpose, too. That ass.
x x x
Sora hurriedly flipped through a rack of postcards, already clutching a Traverse Town teddy bear in one hand as he did so. The shop itself was utterly ridiculous, with corny souvenirs and postcards packed from wall to wall, but Sora knew that Bryna had a thing for adorable stuff animals, no matter how stupid they were.
Finally settling on a postcard that sported a gorgeous bird's eye view of the city at night, Sora set both the bear and the card on the counter as he fished around in his pocket for money. The train would get there soon, he still had to go to the bathroom, and he still wanted to find Riku before he got on so they could sit together. ...Granted, Riku would sit with Sora no matter what, but still. Sora wanted to be there.
Having paid for the crappy souvenirs and having told the clerk to keep the change, Sora dashed off towards the restroom, teddy bear and postcard clutched in one hand.
"Hey, don't you want a bag, kid?!"
"No, that's okay! You can have it!"
The shop clerk gave the spiky haired kid a strange look before blinking at the bag he held in one hand, he rolled his eyes. "Gee, thanks, buddy. I'll cherish it for as long as I freaking live."
Little did Sora know that as he disappeared into the boys' bathroom, there was someone watching him. Several someones, actually. And one of them just happened to go by the name of Kosha.
x x x
"--that look in your eye
I can read in your face
That your feelings are drivin' you wild
Aw, but girl, you're only a child!"
Leon smiled softly as he peered into the open compartment of the train, watching and listening to what some would simply call Cloud making a fool of himself. And yes, Leon normally took their side. But there was still something more than foolish behind Cloud's obsession with music and noise, something sweet and utterly innocent.
"Well I can dance with ya, honey
If you think it's funny
Does your mother know that you're out?
And I chat with ya, baby
Learn a little, maybe
Does your mother know that you're out?"
Cloud's voice was nothing special, that much was for sure. But just like everything else about the blond drum major, there was something different about it just because that voice belonged to Cloud. Leon allowed himself to dreamily make a long and ever-growing list of everything simply Cloud, even as he silently stood there in the frame of the entrance into the compartment like a frozen statue.
"Take it easy, take it easy
Better slow down, girl
That's no way to go
Does your mother know?"
No one could smile like Cloud could.
No one could laugh like Cloud could.
No one could sing, dance, joke, and walk like Cloud could.
You couldn't breathe, you couldn't blink, you couldn't brush a random strand of hair away from your eyes the right way because you just weren't Cloud.
It was stupidity. And Leon knew it.
"Take it easy, take it easy
Try to cool it, girl
Take it nice and slow
Does your mother know?"
Finally pulling out of the trance that had held him so firmly to that spot on the train, Leon chuckled as he unplugged Cloud's headphones from the CD player in his lap, causing Cloud to yelp and whip his head around to face the brunette towering over him. Spinning the cord almost lazily around his finger, Leon's smirk widened. God, he loved tormenting Cloud, if only because of the reactions he got.
"Jeeze, Leon! How long were you standing there?!"
"Long enough to discover your unhealthy addiction to oldies music."
"What the--?! Hey, that's classic! It's not old! And what would you know anyway? Gimme that stupid cord, you shithead."
"Mm. I dunno."
"Le-on!" Rolling his eyes, Leon flung the headphones carelessly back towards the blonde, Cloud snatching them out of the air in one fluid movement.
"Are you nervous?"
"No. I'm just pissed 'cause you took away my goddamn music."
"Seriously."
Cloud raised a single eyebrow at the suddenly serious tone, the subject just having popped out of nowhere. Nonetheless, he pondered the question a moment before giving a small shrug and wrapping his arms behind his head, closing his eyes and slowly talking his way through an answer.
"...I dunno. This is our last year. Are we supposed to be nervous? We've got years of experience to back us up and everything, but still... Do you get the feeling that if we screw up this one, that's how they're gonna remember us?"
"Maybe."
It was true, the thought had crossed Leon's mind. It was all fine and well if their friends were somehow able to remember them as nice people (though in Leon's case, he'd probably be recalled as an antisocial, stoic bastard...), but what about everyone else? ...Did it really even matter?
"You've made it this far without worrying about what other people think. If you break down now, it'll all fall apart." Cloud's eyes were open now, his gaze resting fully on Leon and a small flicker of amusement gracing his lips.
"Mm."
"You worry too much."
"..."
"And you talk too little."
"..."
Cloud sighed and allowed the compartment to fall into silence as the train pulled away from the station, the distant drone of voices and the hum of the engine being the only sound that penetrated into the closed space. Really, he'd wanted to talk about a lot more with Leon. But there were times when it was obvious that the brunette was busy thinking, busy mulling over something and just didn't want to be bothered.
Assuming this was just another one of those times, Cloud stared out the window as the city slowly began to give way into scattered suburbs and then rolling grassy hills. The train cut easily through shallow valleys, giving the passengers a beautiful view of crystal clear skies and seemingly endless green stretching across the horizon as far as the eye could possibly dare to see.
It was some time before Leon spoke again, and had he waited another moment longer, Cloud wouldn't have heard him. But since he didn't wait another moment, Cloud was able to snap himself out of the sleepy stupor he'd been lulled into, listening carefully.
"I'm sorry," Leon murmured, his voice nearly swallowed by the air in the compartment itself. "About last night I mean. I don't think... Maybe we should've actually talked about it." Though Cloud turned to study the brunette, Leon's gaze was fixated at the wall opposite of them.
"Maybe," Cloud said. He'd finally gotten Leon to open up, to talk. Only it wasn't really the talk he'd wanted to have with Leon.
Needless to say then, Cloud knew what was coming.
"Leon, wait a min--"
"You've had your chance to talk. Now it's mine, so just give me a minute, alright?" Leon snapped. Cloud went silent, though that didn't stop him from throwing Leon a small scowl in the process.
"You already know why I can't be with you. You know that, Cloud. So why do keep egging me on about it?" Leon watched as Cloud's expression grew into a drawn out pout, his blue eyes drifted downwards to the floor of the train. Sighing, Leon tried to cut back the biting tone from his voice as he said, "Listen. I'm sorry for what happened sophomore year. I really, really am, Cloud. I'm sorry."
"So what, I'm just supposed to forgive you, just like that?"
"...Well, I was hoping--"
"Oh please, Leon! That was cold! Crap like that is what scars kids for life!"
For a moment, Leon's eyes took on a vague tint of horror as he turned to Cloud in alarm. "You're... I scarred you for life?!"
"No. Not me. Other kids. Moron."
"...I said I was sorry. I don't know what more you want from me."
"Well jeeze, I know it was so hard for you to finally apologize after two whole years!"
"What do you want from me?" Leon hissed. His patience had always been short and it was quite obvious to Cloud just how much he was pushing his luck by being so stubborn.
"Several things," Cloud stated. Yes, he was definitely pushing his luck. "One, I want to know your side of the story. Because you never tell me anything and you're always so damn secretive."
"And then what?"
"We'll see how it pans out from there." Well aware of the ice cold glare Leon was aiming towards him, Cloud frowned, crossing his arms in front of his chest defensively. "Hey, you're the genius who brought this whole thing up. Not me."
Cloud was right, no matter what way Leon chose to look at it. Realizing this, Leon let out a small grunt of disclosure on that argument before resigning to his sad little fate and picking up the threads of conversation himself.
"Well... You were never really good at covering your emotions, Cloud. Or controlling yourself." Leon smirked as Cloud huffed indignantly at his remark before continuing. "When Aerith started hanging around me, it was pretty obvious something was going on. Especially because she never really paid me any mind before, always clinging to you instead.
"Obviously I've always had problems pushing the weird girls away, because I didn't snap at Aerith or Rinoa or anyone. They were just there. She started... Aerith, you know. She started asking me stupid questions about you, like how well did I know you, did I want to get to know you better... Crap like that."
Cloud was listening, he assured himself. But it was shocking just how much Leon was talking. He was probably saying more now than he usually said in an entire month, and Cloud was, to be honest, loving every little second of it. While Leon pushed his way onward through his short tale, Cloud took the opportunity to scoot a little closer to the brunette, slowly but surely, not quite noticeable to Leon himself.
"Highwind picked us for that duet in the Carnival of Venice. We were good, but there were people better than us for the part. I still don't know why he did that... But you looked so happy. It's not exactly like I could say no or anything."
Cloud nodded slowly, though his froze when he realized that he'd scooted a bit too close and the side of his thigh nudged against Leon's. Lucky for Cloud, the other boy was either too caught up in his memories to notice or he simply didn't care that much. Having known Leon for year, Cloud was almost positive that it was the first of the two.
"But the closer you got, I guess the more... nervous... or uneasy. I don't know. Maybe I just didn't want to be close to anyone. Especially you."
Using the moment for all it was worth, Cloud let out a whine and plopped his head on Leon's lap, choosing to ignore the sudden stillness of the other boy as he said, "Why me? What'd I ever do to you anyway?"
Leon blinked numbly, part of his brain registering Cloud's head lying in his lap and the other part of his brain actually liking it. As he fought to silence the own internal battle he had going on in his brain, Leon simply shrugged and hoped that Cloud could see the motion from where he was.
Though Cloud most certainly couldn't manage to see Leon's shoulders from his current position, he could still feel the movement. He could feel the warmth radiating from the brunette, and in the back of Cloud's mind he couldn't help but wonder how such a seemingly cold individual could manage to be so warm and... well, comforting. Cuddly was the word Cloud would have used, had he not known that Leon would kill him for ever even thinking such a thing with such a word.
"But I didn't want to hurt you. You know that. I'd never really meant to hurt you so I never really pushed you away that hard."
"You could be pretty bitter..."
"Yeah, well." Leon let out an aggravated puff of air and Cloud fell silent again, happy to just lie in Leon's lap and listen to him talk, the other boy's voice engulfing him in a bittersweet warm embrace.
"After the parent show, everyone came to say what a good job we did, remember? Rinoa was there too... And Aerith ran over to see you. You both looked so excited and I remember you started walking towards me... I heard Aerith wish you good luck and I knew what was going to happen. I honestly don't know if I was afraid of you or afraid of myself or... what. So... I asked Rinoa out. Pointlessly. Stupidly. Carelessly. And you were right there."
Cloud had long since closed his eyes, though his ears were still open and picking up the words. His brain was still working and it was putting him through the memories. It had hurt. Hurt like hell. And Cloud had been so upset... There had been nothing to cheer him up for days and days. The minor cold he'd thought he'd had escalated to a full-blown fever practically overnight and he didn't do or say anything.
He just took it in stride as best he could and tried to act like the same old Cloud when he returned to school.
Noticing Cloud's stillness and his silence, Leon continued on quietly.
"And the rest you know. Rinoa and I broke up not too long after that. You and I still talked, we still had classes together and all of that. But it was different and it has been different and it is my fault and I'm sorry. That is the rest you know. There's nothing left."
The warm gusts of breath coming from Cloud's slightly open mouth ghosted across Leon's thigh and he couldn't help but smile. The ridiculous blond idiot seemed to have fallen asleep on him. Well no wonder Leon never talked. It was obvious that he was just a lousy public speaker.
Glancing towards the closed compartment door, Leon warily slid one hand up towards Cloud's spikes of blond hair, messy as always. There was no harm that could be done, he figured. No one there to witness the action, no one there to reprimand him for the emotion. Just a sleeping Cloud and a lonely Leon.
"So then I found this kid angel that just fell out of the sky and rumor is that I took him in and taught the kid how to fly. Imagine that," Leon murmured, a small smile flickering across his mouth as he gently brushed his fingertips across the soft locks of Cloud's hair.
"Yeah. 'Magine that."
"...You're awake." Leon's hand jerked to a stop, his body going rigid.
"Yep."
"I'm... not used to being this close to you or anything." Lame excuse. Lame words. Leon knew it all.
Cloud turned his head slightly so as to peer up at Leon's face, a loveable smirk on his face. "You're cute when you're confused like that."
"You're confusing."
"That's why you're always cute."
x x x
It was some time later that Riku rapped his knuckles gently on the door to Leon and Cloud's train compartment.
Having received no response, Riku let out an aggravated sigh before sliding the door open, the question already on the tip of his tongue as the door slid to the end of its track, coming to an abrupt halt. But of course the words trailed away as his eyes came to rest on the slumbering figures of the two drum majors, one of Leon's hands threaded tenderly through Cloud's disheveled hair.
Biting gently on his own tongue to keep from talking and disturbing either of the older boys, Riku silently slid the door closed once more. He'd die before he awoke either from that position.
Instead, Riku simply let out another small sigh before spotting Paine down the hallway, just as she walked into the train car. A puzzled expression settled across her features as Riku strode over and asked her with a somewhat frantic tone lacing his throat, "Have you seen Sora anywhere?"
x x x
"Hey!" Sora continued to pound on the bathroom door, but it was useless. There was another small storage space beyond that door before it opened up into the rest of the train station. No one would hear him unless they were actually headed towards the bathroom itself. But still, Sora wrestled with the doorknob, desperate for his freedom, panic scratching at his brain and clawing at his voice.
"Hey! Somebody open the door!! Please!"
It was no use.
Sora was stuck in a damn bathroom with nothing but a postcard, a stuffed bear, and a few bucks. And the train would be leaving any minute.
Sagging against the door, Sora let out a small whimper, pathetically tugging at the door handle one last time before sliding to the floor. It couldn't be... It wasn't possible... He'd come so far, he'd put up with so much... And he wouldn't even make it to the competition. No one would get to see how hard he'd worked, how hard he could try if he just set his mind to it.
"It's not FAIR!" The sudden emotion and startling outburst tore at Sora's throat, causing his voice to crack and splinter, pain shooting up towards his head. No way is this happening... No way, no way, no way...
But it did happen and Sora could only glare at the jammed door while he sat on the tiled floor, the train having long since left the station.
Blinking sleepily, Sora was slowly beginning to fall asleep but was quickly jerked away by a voice from just outside the door and a slight jostling of the door itself, a small thump. A voice saying, "Huh, that's weird. Wonder if it's out of order or some--"
Sora's savior stepped through the doorway, the boy so excited he leapt to his feet, ready to tackle whoever came into view, the moment he saw their face, the second he saw... He... saw...
"...S...S...Sora?"
Sora gaped at his father, much in the same way the middle-aged man gaped at his son.
No way is this happening.
(x) (x) (x)
Pwaah! XD Pointless Leon and Cloud fluff! And potential trouble for Sora. Hahaha, his dad of all people... Oh the irony!
The song, by the way, is ABBA's (make one of those B's backwards) "Does Your Mother Know?" And the angel snippet from Leon is derived from Melissa Etheridge's "It's Only Me." And the chapter title is another song by Melissa Etheridge. ...Okay, I think that's it.
...Oh yeah. I'm WAY behind schedule. There will be an update every day from now until Monday (including one day where there are two updates in one day... one in the morning, one in the evening) in order to get this fic done before school starts. ...I'm crazy, I know, but I just want to get these things wrapped up.
--Ori