Chapter 4: THIS MEANS WAR!

"Get OFF of me, Malfoy!"

That caused the pair to round the corner with blazing speed unknown to man. What they saw really, really, REALLY ticked them off. A boy with blonde hair and pale skin, who was apparently "Malfoy", had Ginny pinned against a wall and was currently wiping her face with a napkin.

"What? You should at least look presentable when you are floating upside-down in the air with your dress falling over your head."

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Oh, I would."

"SICKO! Why the bloody hell are you doing this, Malfoy?"

"Because I can. Crabbe? Goyle? Please take hold of the weakling..."

"Weakling? WEAKLING?! I'LL SHOW YOU THE POWER OF GINNY WEASLEY IN A SECOND!"

Two human boulders grunted and continued to pin her against the wall while Malfoy started to unbutton her cloak. During this time, Phoenix and Peck were advancing steadily towards the scene. Even as they were ten feet away and gaining, no one noticed their presence.

"Hey! Bleach Boy! Leave Ginny alone!"

The boy whipped around, saw the two saviors, and sneered.

"And why would you care about my dealings with Weasley here?"

"Because 'Weasley' is a friend and fellow Gryffindor."

"Ah, go to hell you two."

Malfoy turned back to his work when he heard a clear BANG. He turned around again to see the red-haired boy (the one we know as Phoenix) with a metallic object pointing into the air.

"YOU WILL RESPECT MY AUTHORITAY!" (A/N: Sorry, I just HAD to put that)

"I said go to hell, or are you two idiots deaf?"

"You are really askin' for it Bleach Boy."

"Don't call me that."

"Why not BLEACH BOY?"

"Crabbe! Goyle! Get them!"

The two human boulders let go of Ginny, allowing Malfoy to assume that position, and lumbered towards the two. Just as the boys raised their wands, Malfoy shouted "EXPELLIARMUS!" The boys' wands zipped from their hands and they were thrown backwards. Once they got up, they were beyond pissed.

"Alright buddy, now I'm mad."

"Oooh, I'm shaking."

Both boys raised their guns, pointed them at Malfoy, and started to run at him while shooting their guns. Blank after blank came out, scaring Crabbe and Goyle, and confusing Malfoy. Once they were close enough, Peck and Phoenix leapt at Bleach Boy, intending to tackle him. However, Crabbe and Goyle grabbed them and attempted to twist their arms.

"Not today you stupid dumbass." With that, Phoenix and Peck pulled their wrists from the goons' grasp. They then proceeded to grab their wrists, twist their arm, and pull it backwards with their other hand on the back of the boys' elbow for added leverage. The two boulders were soon on the ground, squealing in pain. Once they were out of commission, they turned to Malfoy, who had his wand pointed at Phoenix.

"STUPEFY!"

Phoenix had to jump to the side in order to avoid the red bolt. While Malfoy was distracted with Phoenix, Peck dove at him, tackling him to the ground. Phoenix ran forward to assist his comrade.

While Peck held him down, Phoenix got their wands (and Malfoy's). After securely tying Malfoy up with some conjured cords, he handed his friend his wand and they both turned around, only to find Crabbe and Goyle bolting down the corridor. Well, as fast as two human boulders can go anyway.

"OH NO YOU DON'T! STUPEFY!"

Two red bolts shot out, one from each wand, and hit the two boys in the back, stunning them. Once all three boys were disabled, Peck and Phoenix turned their attention to Ginny, who was still struggling against her bonds. Peck immediately removed those.

"Thanks, they were starting to hurt."

"Hey, anytime."

"Why'd you come?"

"Why do you think?"

"Right. How'd my mother say it? Oh yeah: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer."

"Well, we have to go now. Seeing Dumbledore and all."

"Wouldn't you know? I was heading over there too when Malfoy and his goons jumped me."

"You're going too? But what did you do?"

Ginny giggled, "Why, I helped start the fight silly!"

"Well, we had better get going. Oh, we also have to get back at Bleach Boy."

"You don't have to..."

"'Course we do! After all, you are a fellow Gryffindor, and a mighty hot one at that."

Ginny smacked Phoenix for that comment.

"Uncalled for!"

"What? It's true!"

"Let's just go now, shall we?"

"Yes, yes, of course."

"Well you three, I must say I'm quite amused by your actions. However, due to the fact that it caused trouble and several injuries, I'm afraid I have to give you a detention. Tomorrow night, I want you to clean the Great Hall. No Ms. Weasley, not an immaculate cleaning, just making sure it looks presentable. I'll make sure the house elves don't clean it that night."

The three friends were in Dumbledore's office. Once they got inside, Phoenix immediately noticed Fawkes and started asking the headmaster questions about the bird. Now Dumbledore was dishing out their punishment.

"Go down to the Great Hall at about nine o'clock to meet Mr. Filch. He won't be watching you the whole time, he's just there to get you started. Well, that's all I have to say. However, I would like Mr. Blazen to stay for a little bit longer..."

"No problem Al ("PECK!"), we'll wait for you outside Phoenix."

Once the two teenagers were out of the office, Dumbledore spoke to Phoenix.

"Mr. Blazen, it is my understanding that you gave several prefects some trouble on the Hogwarts Express. Would you kindly explain yourself?"

"My pleasure. Ginny, Peck, and I were playing an innocent game of "robbers" where we would pretend to attack each compartment tell the occupants to give us their money. Once they started to dig into their pockets, we'd break character and start to laugh. Nothing was stolen. Apparently the prefects have as little sense of humor as Professor McGonagall has."

Dumbledore laughed, "Yes, I must admit Minerva doesn't take too kindly to practical jokes. Are you sure you didn't cause any harm with your little game?"

"Positive. All we did was give the compartment occupants a scare to pass the time."

"Well then, it appears you shouldn't have a punishment for that particular infringement. However, you DID talk back to the prefects. I know they didn't understand the circumstances. However, you shouldn't give them a hard time for it, they're just doing their jobs."

"Okay professor. I won't cause anymore trouble with the prefects." He also added, "for now."

"I heard that. It seems we have another Fred and George on our hands..."

"Huh?"

"Never mind. You may leave now, good night Mr. Blazen."

"'Night Professor."

Phoenix walked out of the office, down the moving staircase, and into the corridor. True to their word, Ginny and Peck were waiting.

"What did he want to talk to you about?"

"Oh, just our little train robbery thingy. That and my giving the prefects a hard time."

"Okay, let's go back to the Gryffindor Tower now."

The three students walked in silence, Peck and Phoenix following Ginny's lead. While they were walking, Phoenix looked around at the portraits on the walls. Several of them were sleeping, but most of them were looking at the three curiously. Some of the female portraits winked at Phoenix, and several male portraits made catcalls at Ginny. They eventually made their way to the portrait of a fat lady in a pink dress. She looked down kindly at the students.

"Hello Ginny, how are you today?"

"I'm fine thank you. These are my two friends, Peck and Phoenix."

"Hey."

"Yo."

"Well, I'm glad that they are in Gryffindor. Password?"

Ginny paused for a moment.

"Shoot! I don't know the password."

"Oh dear. Well, I'm afraid I can't let you in unless you have the password."

"I know."

"Hang on, I have an idea. Miss, is it okay if I yell?"

"Of course dear. Go ahead."

Phoenix took a deep breath and shouted, "HEY! IS ANYONE IN THERE? WE DON'T KNOW THE PASSWORD! WILL ANYONE OPEN THE DOOR FOR US?"

By the time the Phoenix had finished, the fat lady had her hands over her ears.

"I'm sorry, was I too loud?"

"No, no. Of course not, it's okay really."

At that moment, the portrait cracked open a bit and Ron poked his head out.

"I heard some yelling, what's up?"

"We weren't told the password, would you mind letting us in?"

"Sure no problem."

"Okay, see you later!"

"Bye dears!"

Ginny, Peck, and Phoenix climbed in and walked into the common room. Most people had gone off to bed already. However, several people were still in the common room. When Phoenix and Peck appeared, people started whispering to each other and pointing at them. Peck leaned over and spoke to his companion loud enough for the common room to hear.

"Somehow, I get the feeling we aren't too popular right now..."

That shut everyone up. They then started to contradict that remark and assure them that they are welcome, being fellow Gryffindors, etc.

"Well people, Phoenix and myself will be going to bed now, BYE ALL!"

The two walked upstairs and into the sixth year boys' dormitories. The looked around for a moment before finding their beds. The two hadn't actually intended to go to bed YET. They first wanted to get settled. Phoenix took out his experiments and put them in cabinet on his nightstand, Peck doing the same thing. He then proceeded to take out his guns and hang them on the wall next to his bed. All of them were up there except for one...

"Peck? My Colt if you don't mind."

Peck tossed over the weapon to Phoenix, who promptly hung that up next to his other one. After that, he took out his robes and put them away in his closet.

"Well Phoenix, should we go to bed now?"

"I'm gonna fill up a few more stun cells before I do. See you tomorrow Peck!"

"Night."

Phoenix took out his shield, snapped in a cell, propped it up, and started firing stun spells at it. After about 20 spells, the cell was maxed out, forcing Phoenix to replace it and add the charged cell to his growing collection (A/N: In case you're wondering, Phoenix uses a duplicating charm to make the extra cells). After filling five more cells, Phoenix decided to catch some shut-eye. After putting away his shield and replacing the cell port with a fresh one, Phoenix kicked off his shoes, crawled into his bed, and nodded off to sleep.

The next day found Phoenix waking up early and taking a shower. As if Phoenix taking a shower early in the morning wasn't bad enough, he was also singing semi-correct lyrics to a song few people knew...

"TROGDOR WAS A MAN, well, no, he was a DRAGON-MAN, actually, not really, okay, so he was a DRAGON! But anyway, he was BURNINATING THE COUNTRYSIDE! BURNINATING ALL THE PEOPLE! BURNINATING ALL THE HOUSES! AND BLASTING ALL OF THE COTTAGES! TROGDOOOOOR!"

"PHOENIX, SHADDUP!"

But Phoenix wasn't listening.

"TRAGDOOOOOOR! HE WAS THE BURNINATOR! THE BURNINATOR! AND I'M MAKING UP THE WORDS AS I GO ALONG!"

"PHOENIX! IF YOU ARE GOING TO SING STRONGBAD'S TROGDOR SONG, SING IT RIGHT!"

He was finally able to hear his friend's shouts, "WELL SORRY IF I CAN'T REMEMBER SOME LINES AFTER THREE YEARS OF NOT LISTENING TO THE SONG!"

"THEN DON'T SING IT!"

"FINE! I'LL SING ANOTHER SONG! READY? HERE WE GO! DA SCROLL! DA SCROLL! DA BUTTON! DA BUTTON! DA SCROLL'S SO SMOOOOTH LIKE THE BUTTER ON THE MUFFIN!"

"PHOENIX! WE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP IN HERE!"

"WELL YOU AREN'T TRYING HARD ENOUGH, NOW ARE YOU?"

All six boys yelled at Phoenix, "SHUT UP!"

"WELL, I'M DONE WITH MY SHOWER ANYWAY, SO YOU'VE BEEN SPARED. OH BOY! I CAN'T WAIT FOR A WHOLE YEAR OF THIS!"

He was able to hear his six roommates groan. After getting dressed, the boy walked into the bedroom to see six mutinous faces staring back.

"Umm, guys? Are you okay?"

"ATTACK!"

Phoenix was immediately tackled by the six boys, who formed a dog pile with Phoenix at the center. Although muffled somewhat, Phoenix was able to say, "Peck, you are sitting on my face."

"Good, you deserve it."

A good five minutes later, seven beaten and battered sixth year Gryffindor boys left their dormitory and entered the common room. It was empty. Phoenix groaned.

"Does anyone have the time?"

"Yeah, it's 5:35 in the morning."

"Why on Earth isn't anyone up at that hour? I mean really! Is everyone here a lazy bum?"

Phoenix continued muttering to himself, "No one up at five-thirty, unbelievable..."

The other six looked at him, "Well, we are going back to the dormitory to get some sleep and to get ready for our first day of classes."

"Well that's jolly good, old chaps! I'll be down here starting work on my biggest project yet!"

"Oh, and what would that be Phoenix?"

"Stun Pistols!"

"Huh?"

Phoenix sighed, "Peck, Peck, Peck. You don't really think I make those cells for no real purpose, do you? I'm going to make a handgun, which will be modeled after my Colts. However, instead of having a magazine filled with bullets, it'll have a port that the cells can plug into. Once I get the hang of it, I'll do more complicated guns, like Louie!"

Peck shook his head, "You're crazy Phoenix, did you know that?"

"AND DAMNED PROUD OF IT!"

Harry, Ron, Seamus, Dean, Neville, and Peck shook their heads.

"Whatever you say Phoenix."

As they walked up into their dormitory, they noticed Phoenix following them.

"Uh, aren't you going to work on your experiment thingy?"

"I have to get my stuff first, don't I?"

"Oh, good point."

Once Phoenix gathered his Colts, several Stun Cells, and his wand, he walked downstairs and into the common room. He started by duplicating one of his Colts and taking out the magazine.

Rubbing his hands together, Phoenix said, "Okay, let's get this party started!"

After another hour of sleep, Peck woke up and took a shower. That done, he got into his robes and walked downstairs into the common room. He saw Phoenix in a corner on the floor, examining one of his Colts and waving his wand at a third.

'Probably a duplicate.'

He also noticed that everyone was at least 10 feet away from him and giving him shifty looks, as if he had the Black Plague. When they noticed his presence, they started to give him shifty looks as well and edge away from him.

Ignoring this, Peck walked over to the corner where Phoenix was hard at work on his "Stun Pistol". He sat down and got a good look at what Phoenix was doing. The duplicate seemed like an exact copy, as if he didn't change anything.

"So Phoenix, what have you done to your Stun Pistol?"

"Well, I first tried to figure out how to remove the latch that holds the magazine. I was unable to reach it, so I had to dismantle the SP's handle and take it out that way. Once it was out I welded it back together again. Now I have a problem: How can I make a trigger launch a stun spell?"

"What's your plan?"

"I have to make a new latch. This latch has to somehow trigger the launch of a stun spell. I'm experimenting. I've blown up about three guns so far..."

He gestured to a heap of twisted metal lying next to him. Either Peck's eyes were deceiving him or he was actually seeing smoke rise from the metal.

"Do you have any idea for what to do?"

"Sort of. I made the cells so they cause the spells to bounce off the walls. Thus, these stun spells are eternally ricocheting around in there. I think I'll have the trigger pull the lid forward for a split second, allowing a single spell to come out. It doesn't matter what angle it comes out, the barrel will straighten it out."

"Do you think it'll work?"

Phoenix shrugged.

"It's my best bet. Its principles are similar to those of an actual Pistol. The main difference is the magazine isn't spring loaded and the stun spells come out on their own with no propulsion whatsoever."

"Need any help?"

"Nah, not this second anyway. If this works, I have a feeling later models will be harder. I also want to figure out a better way to launch the spells."

"Well Phoenix, it's about six-thirty, so you have a good hour before I head down to the Great Hall with Harry & Co."

"That should be enough time for me to finish this and test it. Hopefully it won't blow up like the others..."

"Based on what you told me about its mechanics, I have a feeling this one will work."

Peck walked away and decided to investigate why everyone looked at him and Phoenix as if they had worms coming out of their ears. He approached a third year boy. The boy noticed and started to back away from him. He continued backing away as Peck advanced, finally getting stuck in a corner. His knees started to shake.

"W-w-what do you w-want with m-me?"

"Why are you scared of me?" he laughed, "I mean come on! It's not like I have two heads or something. Besides, where's your Gryffindor courage? Stand up like the man you are! There's nothing to be afraid of! I'm not going to strangle you."

The boy listened to his words, but still showed fear in his eyes. Thankfully though, he stopped stuttering.

"You're from America. You don't belong here. We don't want to mingle with Americans."

Peck was enraged, "THAT'S THE DUMBEST EXCUSE I'VE EVER HEARD! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU HAVE AGAINST AMERICANS? IS IT BECAUSE WE'RE LAZY? IS IT OUR ACCENT? IS IT OUR DIFFERENT OUTLOOK ON THINGS? MUGGLE AMERICANS AND BRITISH GET ALONG FINE! WHY CAN'T YOU? WHAT'S WRONG WITH AMERICA? ANSWER ME THAT! GO ON! ANSWER ME!"

The common room was quiet after that tirade. The boy sneered at Peck, "America is a place for stuck up people. You all have your nice and pretty toys you can afford and play with. You think you're the best country in the world and everyone else is inferior. Well guess what? You're not. I think my fellow Gryffindors agree when I say you and your friend don't belong here."

"I don't know about everyone else, but I say these two boys DO belong here!"

Peck turned around to find Ginny advancing on the boy. She looked like an angry Rhinoceros. The boy, sensing her rage, started to cower.

"Ginny! What are you doing here? Get back before you get hurt!" It was obvious this boy had a crush on Ginny.

"How DARE you insult Peck and Phoenix! They are two of the nicest people I have EVER met, and that's saying something." She paused only for a moment to slap the boy. She then started again, this time in a quieter voice, "You don't know what they did last night, do you? They rescued me from Malfoy and his goons, WITHOUT A WAND! They had to take down Crabbe and Goyle first, then get Malfoy, WHO WAS ARMED WITH A WAND! Do you have ANY idea how hard that is?"

"It's probably quite easy, considering-"

"SHUT UP! IT IS NOT EASY TAKING OUT TWO HUMAN BOULDERS! I CAN'T BELIEVE SOME SCUM LIKE YOU WOULD THINK BADLY ABOUT PHOENIX OR PECK!"

"My own housemate, turned against me-"

"YOU GODDAMNED HYPOCRITE! PECK AND PHOENIX ARE HOUSEMATES AND YOU ARE TURNING AGAINST THEM! DON'T GIVE ME THAT HOUSEMATE CRAP WHEN YOU CAN'T BE KIND TO ANOTHER HOUSEMATE!"

At that point, Phoenix had finished making his Stun Pistol. He jammed a cell into the port with a click. He then stood up and pointed it at the boy. With a BANG, a red streak zipped out of the gun and hit him, causing him to slump to the floor. Everyone turned to see the American with his gun pointed at the now unconscious boy.

Phoenix spoke with a deadly quiet tone, "Who else wants some of this?"

Most of the students took out their wands. Actually, all of them did except for Ginny and Peck. They all shouted various curses while Phoenix did a back flip and landed behind a couch. Several seconds later, Ginny and Peck came hurtling over the couch and ducking behind it.

"Thanks for sticking up for us Gin. However, we have a situation here. But I have an idea."

Phoenix quickly duplicated his Stun Pistol twice, and then summoned his other cells. He loaded each of the SPs and handed one to each of his friends.

"I didn't see Ron, Harry, Seamus, Dean, or Neville out there, did you?"

"Nope."

"No. I didn't see Hermione either, which is a relief to me."

"Nuts. Okay, we'll have to take out these traitors ourselves. Gin? You'll stay behind this couch. There are two adjacent couches, which Peck and I will hide behind. We'll fire at will and take out these people single-handedly, and hopefully before breakfast."

"Okay, good luck guys."

"Never fear Gin, Agent Smith is here!" Peck waved his wand and instead of the blond-haired, blue-eyed boy he used to be, there was a man in a tuxedo with a black tie, black pants, black shoes, and wearing a pair of black glasses. He also had black hair.

"Who?"

Phoenix sighed, "It's his alter ego. It's also a villain from a muggle movie called The Matrix (A/N: You gotta love that movie!)."

"Oh."

"Okay, here we go. LET'S MOVE!"

Peck and Phoenix simultaneously cart wheeled to opposite couches, narrowly avoiding curses sent at them. Once they were safe, Phoenix continued to talk.

"Okay, these babies can fire twenty shots before they need to reload. Also, seeing as Peck has his alter ego, I may as well turn into mine."

Phoenix waved his wand at himself and he too changed. Instead of his red hair, he had black hair. His eyes were covered by a pair of dark sunglasses. He was wearing a black trench coat, a black undershirt, a black pair of pants, and black boots. Peck looked at him approvingly.

"Welcome aboard Neo."

"Alright, we should get up now and shoot the crap out of those traitors."

"What are we waiting for? Let's go!"

The three jumped up, just enough to expose their head and hands, which were both holding their guns. The rest of their body was under the protection of the couch. Their arms were on the top of the couch for stability. They all began to fire red bolts at the Gryffindors, Peck and Phoenix more accurately than Ginny, but then again, they've been practicing for three years. One by one, the Gryffindors fell. Several times the three were forced to duck under the couch to avoid a curse and then come back up again.

"Ha ha! This is better than Time Crisis III!"

After a five-minute skirmish, all of the Gryffindors were on the ground, stunned. Ginny, "Agent Smith", and "Neo" were sporting only small cuts and in Peck's case, wobbly legs (which were quickly remedied by the proper counter-curse).

At that point, the other five Gryffindor sixth year boys and Hermione came down. They looked around the common room and then at the three gunslingers.

"Okay, who are you two and what did you and Gin do?"

Peck, smirking at the opportunity to play with Seamus' head, walked forward and began to talk.

"Mr. Finnigan, welcome back. It's a shame you weren't here for the, shall we say, manslaughter that took place only minutes before you arrived. Your assistance would have been greatly appreciated in bringing down a third year traitor known only as..."

"Devon." Ginny helped him out.

"Yes, Devon. For some preposterous reason, he thought that Americans are scum. For that matter, everyone you see here thought along the same lines. Now, we couldn't allow that, so naturally, they were deleted."

"You don't mean they're... DEAD?"

Phoenix cut in, playing along. "No, no, of course not. They were only stunned, and will remain that way until they finally get enough sense not to mess with me or Agent Smith here."

"Who ARE you two?"

"Sorry. My name is Neo. This here," He gestured to Peck, "is Agent Smith. Normally, he would be trying to blast my head off. However, there is currently a truce between the machines and the humans."

"What are you talking about? Who's Ne- ooooooooh." (A/N: Ne-ooooooooooo. Hee hee) It finally dawned on him. He smirked, "If you're Neo, where's Trinity?"

"What are you talking about? She's right here."

Phoenix waved his wand at Ginny, and in her place stood a girl with long black hair tied up in a bun. She too had glasses on. She was wearing a tight leather jacket, which was zipped up, so you couldn't see anything under it. She also had a pair of tight leather pants on. Seamus looked at her.

"Hey, that was a spiffy spell. Who are you? Seriously."

Phoenix waved his wand at himself, and in moments, the usual Phoenix was there. Peck did the same thing.

"That's cool!"

"Thanks, I think we should go down to breakfast now..."

They heard coughing behind them to find Gin- er, "Trinity" lightly tapping her foot and her arms folded across her chest.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to be changed back into Ginny."

"No problemo." A few seconds later, Ginny was where Trinity had stood.

"Alright, let's go."

"But, what about everyone else?" That would be Hermione.

"What about them?"

"They're all stunned!"

"Who cares?"

"ME!"

Phoenix sighed.

"Fine."

Phoenix, Peck, Ginny, and Hermione proceeded to enervate everyone. When they got up, they saw three Stun Pistols pointed at them.

"I suggest you don't try to fight us again, seeing how we were able to kick your butt so easily."

Devon the third year spat at Phoenix, causing Ginny to walk forward, "Oh yes, I almost forgot." SMACK! "Now, get out of my sight you stupid git."

All of the other students walked out of the common room, spitting at Peck and Phoenix as they passed. Once everyone had left save Ginny, Hermione, and the sixth year boys, they turned to each other.

"Well Hermione, NOW can we go and have breakfast?"

Through out the day, people would avoid Peck and Phoenix, and it wasn't only the Gryffindors. The Slytherins were horrible in their own twisted way, laughing and pointing at them, not to mention spreading nasty rumors about "those scummy Americans". The only ones who seemed to stick up for Phoenix and Peck were Ginny, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Seamus, Dean, and Neville, and the two boys were grateful for that. The only other people who acted nice to Peck and Phoenix were the teachers (except for Snape. But then again, he's always being a bloody git).

8:45 p.m. found Peck and Phoenix trying to improve the Stun Pistol, Ginny reading a book on the couch, Hermione finishing up her last essay that was assigned that day, and the other five boys in their room doing god knows what. The two experimenters seemed to be making some progress...

"Phoenix, seriously. If we could just make the trigger make the spells think the proper incantation was being spoken..."

"But Peck, HOW do you trick a spell?"

"Well Phoenix, that's OUR job to figure out, right?"

Sighing, Phoenix said, "Yeah, but not right now. Gin? We've got to go down to the Great Hall for our detention. I'll be right back."

Phoenix ran back into his room and got about 10 JLC4s, performed a shrinking charm on them, and stowed them away in his robes. He then ran downstairs, gathered up his pistols, and took them back into his room. When he came downstairs again, he said, "Okay, I'm done. Let's go."

The three walked downstairs and headed towards the Great Hall. When they got there, they saw the caretaker and his cat.

"Well, well, well, the trouble makers are here early. Eager to finish early, eh? Well, it won't matter, your detention ends at exactly eleven o' clock. No earlier, no later."

"Whatever."

"Alright, over here are some mops, along with scrubbers, and soap. There's also wax for the tables. Alright, what are you waiting for? GET TO WORK!"

The old geezer only stayed long enough to watch the three get started, he then hobbled off with his cat at his heels, no doubt looking around for more troublemakers.

Did you know it's extremely boring to mop and scrub floors? Oh yes, it's extremely dull. That is, unless you make up a game, which makes it quite fun...

"And they're off! With Peck in the lead, but Phoenix close behind. What's this? Phoenix passes Peck's MopKart as they round the first table. Down they go! They're like speed demons these two! Phoenix cuts off Peck, who was attempting to take the inside corner. Not today Peck! Down they go again! Goodness, they look like blurs! Now they're rounding the third corner. Wow! Peck was able to take the inside corner, passing Phoenix. Great pass Peck! Okay, as they round the fourth table, they're on the final leg of the race. This fact seems to egg Phoenix on a bit, 'cause he's caught up with Peck. It's Phoenix! No, Peck! No, Phoenix! No, Peck! My, this is close! Well, we'll find out in a few short seconds who- and it's Phoenix with the win! The winner takes a well deserved victory lap around the hall!"

Phoenix was, in fact, taking his MopKart around the perimeter of the hall. Ginny then hopped on her MopKart and joined Phoenix and Peck in swabbing the floor. (A/N: Okay, for those of you who are confused, they jinxed their mops to act like Go-Karts. They installed seats on the handle and a steering device so they could race around the hall while mopping.)

At around 10, they finished mopping and started waxing the tables. Phoenix grinned. This was the part he was waiting for.

"I'll do the Slytherin table, guys."

"Why?"

"Let's say I have a few, ahem, surprises for them for the stunt Malfoy pulled yesterday."

"Oh joy."

"Well, let's get to work!"

They each took a can of wax and a towel and started waxing the different tables. Ginny was waxing the Hufflepuff table, Peck was waxing the Ravenclaw table, and Phoenix was waxing, like he said, the Slytherin table. After charming his rag to wax on its own, he went under the table and took out his JLC4s. After resizing them he started to attach him at regular points along the underside of the table. After they were all placed, he went back and disillusioned them. He got back up from under the table and continued to wax the table. That done he helped the other two until they were done with their table. Then, all three of them did the Gryffindor table, doing a far better job with it than the other two. They finished at about two minutes to 11:00. After Filch came in and shooed them out, they trudged back to the common room. On the way, Ginny turned to look at Phoenix.

"Why did you want to do the Slytherin table?"

Phoenix only grinned and said, "you'll see tomorrow."

Once again, Phoenix woke up bright and early in the morning. However, instead of taking a shower, he duplicated his Stun Gun (he thought that sounded better than "Stun Pistol") and proceeded to make more Stun Cells. Once he was satisfied with his work, he turned into Neo and walked downstairs, a gun in each hand. When he walked into the common room, there were people there who were talking. Once they saw him, they became quiet. Phoenix raised his guns.

"One move towards your wands and you are toast, so don't try me."

"Who are you?"

"I am Neo."

Several kids broke into laughter.

"Neo eh? Where's Agent Smith?"

"Right here."

Peck walked out, two Stun Guns in his hands. He too had them trained on the crowd.

"You obsolete programs are no match for an Agent. We are flawless and will delete you at the slightest provocation."

Several kids looked from Phoenix to Peck with confusion. One of them finally spoke up.

"Smith, aren't you supposed to be blowing Neo' head off?"

"It's called a truce you nitwit." That was Phoenix.

"Hey! Don't call me a nitwit!"

"I'm sorry, I meant lunkhead."

The kid made a movement towards his wand, but that's all he did, for he fell to the ground a second after that.

"Anyone else want to try me?"

They all shook their heads.

"Good, continue talking."

Everyone obeyed and went back to their previous conversations.

Peck and Phoenix summoned several stun cells, walked over to a corner, sat down, and commenced work on improving the Stun Gun's spell release system. Peck sighed.

"It's going to be a loooooong morning, isn't it?"

"Yup, now let's get to work."

"Well Peck, it appears we've got the formula down. Now all we have to do is put it to work." Phoenix said brightly. Peck groaned.

"Phoenix, must you always incorporate math and formulas into everything you do?"

"Yup! Why do you ask?"

"Never mind."

At that moment, their friends walked down the stairs.

"Hey guys, I think we should head down into the Great Hall for breakfast."

"Okay, I'll be right back." Phoenix bolted upstairs, grabbed a device with a button on it, and raced back downstairs. Ginny noticed the device in his hands.

"Phoenix? What are you holding?"

Phoenix merely grinned, "Oh, you'll see soon enough."

They walked into the Great Hall and over to the Gryffindor table. Once they sat down, people started to edge away from them. Phoenix then turned to his friends.

"Okay, do you really want to know what this is?"

"Yes!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!"

"Are you positive?"

"Yes!"

"Are you positive you're sure?"

"YES!"

"Are you doubly positively sure?"

They all yelled at him, "TELL US ALREADY!"

That got the group quite a few stares, causing them to quiet down.

"Okay, in ten seconds I will press the button and you will see what it does. Ten"

"Why don't you tell us instead?"

"Nine."

"Just tell us."

"Eight."

"Phoenix! I'm getting nervous!"

"Seven."

"Seriously dude, tell us."

"Six."

"Come on!"

"Five."

"I give up."

"Four."

"I'll just have to find out the hard way."

"Three."

"Here we go."

"Two."

"Oh no."

"One."

"Here comes the apocalypse."

"Zero."

Phoenix pressed the button and it seemed as if dynamite had been set in the Great Hall. However, that wasn't too far from the truth, for the button was the detonator for the JLC4s hidden under the Slytherin table. All of the Slytherins were thrown from their benches onto the floor as a shockwave hit them. As they tried to get up, they found they could not, courtesy of the Jelly Legs Curse implemented into the explosives.

Phoenix grinned and whispered into Ginny's ear, "Revenge is sweet isn't it?"

A/N: I don't own Strongbad, or the Trogdor song. That would belong to