Title: MTS's Weak Attempt at Little Boy Slash

Author: MTS

Summary: Bleak Reality's challenge – HP/PP Crossover. "I don't think even owls could deliver letters to that address."

Fandom: Harry Potter/Peter Pan crossover.
Line: "I don't think even owls could deliver letters to that address."
Disclaimer: Warner Brothers, Columbia Pictures, Universal Studios and other rich big entertainment companies own these kids. Not me.
Setting: Book 6. Hr/R/H 16, Ginny 15, Peter 14
A/N: Don't take this seriously.

"I'm going to kill him." Ron was furious. "I'm going to kill him. Then Hermione is going to kill me for killing him, my mom'll kill her for killing me, and then...fuck, Harry, he has to be a flunkie of Voldie, 'coz nothing else would get us all at each others throats."

Harry looked at him, amused and turned back to see Hogwart's newest exchange student try to explain once more to Madam Hooch that he didn't need a stupid broom to fly, and no, thank you very much, he would not play along and ride a broom like the others.

"Mr. Pan –" Madam Hooch was slightly more angry than Ron. "Mr. Pan, if you do not put your feet back on solid earth within three minutes, I am going to give you detention (your seventh one this week, I may add) and strongly recommend to Dumbeldore that you are SENT HOME."

The giddy giggle from the sparkle of light on the boy's shoulder joined the mocking laugh of the young boy as he landed very slowly onto the ground. "As you wish it," he said not-so-kindly, and then winked at Ginny Weasley, who he had intentionally landed close to.

Ginny rolled her eyes at him, shoved her school broom into his hands, and marched over to where Harry and Ron were standing.

"I'm gonna kill him." Her eyes were fire.

Harry laughed. "The whole Weasley family against him. Poor Hermione."

"I heard that!" Hermione appeared out of no where. Ron immediately checked her for the time-turner, but she batted his hands away.

"Hands off, you big oaf. I'm not wearing it, I'm just too quick for you boys to notice now." She grinned triumphantly. Her stealth charm was still in the beta stage, but working rather well, especially when she wanted to sneak up on Ron in the boy's shower.

Peter saw Hermione and flew towards her (much to Madam Hooch's dismay, who was TRYING to teach a Quiddich lesson to the fourth years with a little help with the Gryfindoor Team Captain, Keeper and star Seeker).

"'Mione!" He punched her jokingly on the shoulder. "How's your sister?"

Hermione smiled at him (Ron and Ginny groaned quietly ("She hates that nickname!")) and tousled his hair. "Wendy's fine. How do you like it here, Peter?"

"Love it. If I had known school would be like this, I would never have wished myself off to Neverland."

"MR. PAN!"

Peter impishly grinned, waved, and walked back to his lesson.

Ginny sighed. "I never expected Peter Pan to be that repulsive."

"Nor to discover that I'm related to the Darlings?" Hermione grinned. "My great-aunt warned me that he was a little impetuous."

"He's a silly ass, that's what he is," Ron snapped.

"I only hope that your sister doesn't fall for him like your great-aunt did. He's a horrible flirt," Ginny said.

"Too late for that. But honestly guys, he's just a kid who's been 14 for centuries. I remember both of you boys being complete silly asses at that age." Hermione hit Ron playfully upside the head.

"Still," Ron continued. "I would dearly love to stick his head second star to the right and straight on up where the sun don't shine."

Harry looked at Ginny and snickered. "I don't think even owls could deliver letters to that address."

"Boys."

The four stood in silence for a moment.

"Well, he is kinda cute, I'll give him that." Harry shrugged.

Ginny and Hermione looked at him, startled. (Ron wasn't paying attention, thinking about how to send Peter's head second star to the right, etc.)

"What?" Harry said back to the flabbergasted girls.

Ginny looked at Hermione, Hermione raised her eyebrows and nodded her head. "Now."

"As much as we all love and adore him, Professor Lupin is soooooo a bad influence on you," Ginny said as she grabbed Harry by the arm and dragged him forcefully off to the Quiddich shed as the Boy Who Lived continued to ask, "What? What did I say? Ginny, where are you taking me? What?"

Hermione grinned.

"Where did they go?" Ron asked, absently.

"Oh, your sister just dragged your best friend off to ensure his sexual orientation."

"Oh." Ron looked perplexed.

Hermione kissed him swiftly. "You big dork."

-fin-