*** Hello everyone!!! Yes, that's right, I'm finally getting to chapter four!!! Joy to the world! See, I lost my muse, but now I'm borrowing my friend Brittany's muse's sister. (Follow that?) Enjoy and review please! I decided to put this particular chapter into story format just 'cuz I think it works better this way for this idea. I hope you like it anyway. grin ***
(((There was a tie between pets and LOTR, but I had a quick idea for LOTR, so it was chosen. Sorry!!!)))
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Chapter Four: Meeting Frodo and the Gang!
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"So umm…like where are we?" Asked Tidus, rubbing his head. All nine characters get up and dust themselves off after having fallen from the middle of the sky.
"It looks like a forest to me…" Muses Rikku, hopping lightly from foot to foot. (Cute as a button of course.)
"Ya man, so like, what'a we doin' upin here?" Asked Wakka, rubbing his blitzball on the back of his head as if that would spark his incredibly dull mind to begin thinking.
"I wonder…" starts Yuna quietly, but then stops.
"What?" Asks Auron commandingly.
"Maybe Sin brought us here…" she finishes.
"That's ridicules. Why on earth would Sin bring old popping-blue-veins-man with us? Wouldn't he want to leave him there in order to reek more havoc while we're gone?" States Tidus, half mindedly. Lulu smirks, trying hard not to laugh while Seymour's atrocious blue veins begin to convulse uncontrollably. "See?" He says, lazily pointing to old popping-blu…I mean Seymour. "Look at him. You say one thing and the dude looks like his head is about to explode…not that I'd mind much."
"SHUT UP!" Roars Seymour.
"You know…I never noticed how bad they bulged before you said that Tidus…" Says Lulu, now beginning to giggle.
"You tried to marry my niece? Not only are you dead and evil, you're ugly too! Good job guys, I'm happier than ever that you kicked his sad ass."
"AHHHHH!!!" Veins bulged…and bulged…and…POP!!!! "Ow ow ow!!!"
"HAHAHAHAHA!!!!" Laughed everyone, loudest of all Yuna. "You are so stupid Seymour!!! Only you would burst a blood vessel in your lip!!!"
"Oh, go suck on it!"
……………………………………Later……………………………………..
"Strider, there's a group of people over yonder…a very strange group indeed!" Said Sam.
"How so? Surely they are no more strange than Wormtounge?" Replied Strider, picking at his teeth with his sword.
"Oh but they are!!! There's this huge blue cat guy that never speaks; a pretty girl; a whore; a prep; an old drunk guy with way to big a sword and who is constantly talking about a person's 'story'; a thief; an imbecile with an accent and a ball; a really ugly guy with popping blue veins and no sense of humor; and this guy in really odd clothing who is constantly smoking a pipe."
"Oh!! A pretty girl and a whore!!" Said Boromir and Gimli, jumping up and down like children. "Let us go!!!" The two of them clasped hands and skipped down the hill.
………..stare……..stare…….stare…..
"Umm…I suppose we should follow them…yes?" Asked Legolas, right eyebrow twitching.
"CAN I HAVE A PIGGY BACK RIDE???" Yelled Pippin.
………………………………When they meet……………………………….
"Gay men…over there." Grunted Kimahri, pointing to Boromir and Gimli skipping towards them. "More…"
Legolas speed over the hill with Pip on the front and Merry on the back. "Why couldn't you two just walk…?" Muttered the poor elf.
"Because we LOVE you! You're just so cool and feminine!!!" Suddenly, Pippin and Merry found themselves firmly on the ground, Legolas speeding like an eagle over the hills and far, FAR away.
"Hmm…you reckon we scared him Pip?"
"Yeah…I think so…You reckon those people will have food?"
"Oh!! That would be great!"
"Do you two never think of anything but food?" Sighed Gandalf.
"NO!" The two chanted together, followed by vigorous nods from Frodo and Sam.
Sigh
"Travelers. We come in peace as long as you do not side with Mordor." Greeted Strider upon reaching the 'gang'.
"Umm…I don't think we do…Who's Mordor?" Said Wakka, returning to scratching the back of his head with his blitzball. All of the Middle-Earth folk stared at him.
"Well, are ya' gonna tell us or what?" Popped in Rikku, bouncing with energy that resembled the sugar-highs the author occasionally gets when she has her soda and chocolate.
"Mordor," Began Gimli, "is the land of evil. Sauron resides there. His whole purpose in life is to destroy Middle-Earth."
"Sounds like my kind of guy!!!" Shouted Seymour, joy reflecting in his eyes. Everyone stared at him and the LOTR gang all touched their weapons, but didn't do anything.
"What's Middle Earth?" Asked Lulu.
"That is our world." Answered Boromir, eyeing her. Kimahri promptly walked over and smacked him…sending him flying into a tree five feet away. "Oww…" Faint
"OHH NOO!!! Not another world!!! WHY!!!???!!! I can't just STAY somewhere, NOOO. I just have be sent from world to world to world to world to" SMACK Kimahri to the rescue! No more whining preps!!
"Yo dudes!!! Whassup!?! Evil's here to bust the party!" Sauron rode up on a big black horse that nobody noticed was coming. "Say hello to Sauron!!!"
"Ohh!!! Are you the guy who runs Mordor?" Asked a wide-eyed Seymour.
"Umm…no…close, that's Saruman."
"Oh…Why the hell are your names so similar!!!"
"Umm…'CUZ WE'RE EVIL!!!!"
Boromir and Tidus wake up………stare………stare………blink……… stare………
"Stop that! It's annoying…there's like…twenty of you and you're all blinking in unison!!! It's…WEIRD."
"Sorry dude." Said Auron. Lulu stared at him.
"Can I join you? I'm evil too." Seymour's veins throbbed with anticipation.
"Umm…Yeah, I guess so."
"Nift-tacular! Let's start by kicking these guy's A$$'s!!!
"I like your style, Throbbing-Vein-Man!"
"I really do prefer Seymour."
"Why?"
"Because it's my NAME."
"Oh…well, in any case, let's battle!!!"
Begin RPG MODE:
Sauron's horse, Sauron and Seymour stand on one side of the clearing, Rikku, Boromir, and Sam stand on the other side. Everyone else is on the sidelines awaiting their turn.
Sauron's horse: Front Kick! Deals 70 damage to Sam.
Sam: Watering can attack! Deals 3 damage to Seymour.
Sauron: Evil Laugh. Rikku is traumatized (aka: Confused.)
Seymour: Vein Burst! Deals 900 damage to Rikku. Rikku faints and is replaced by Yuna.
Sam: Watering Can attack! Deals 6 (wow!) damage to Sauron's horse.
Sauron's Hose: Trample Sam is squashed. Auron replaced Sam.
Boromir: Slice 70 damage to Sauron
Sauron: Spin Attack Yuna is spun around until her 'dress' or whatever it is flies up. 20 damage to Yuna.
Yuna: Bitch Slap! 40 damage to Sauron and a serious loss of pride
Auron: Armor Break! 500 damage to Seymour. Veins begin to throb.
Seymour: Ultra Vein Poppage! 9,999 damage to Yuna, Boromir, and Auron. Kimahri, Cid, and Pippin replace them.
Pippin: Apple Throw Sauron's horse is distracted!
Sauron's horse: Food Sauron's horse eats apples!
Kimahri: Blue Cat Attack 47 damage to Sauron's horse. Sauron's horse faints. Nobody replaces it.
Sauron: Dude! That was my horse attack! 800 damage to Kimahri. Kimahri faints. Gimli comes in.
Cid: I'm a pilot! – maneuver Cid runs away. Lulu comes in.
Seymour: I'm a mean jerk attack 20 damage to Gimli
Gimli: Short man! Cuts Sauron's Balls Off. 9,000 to Sauron.
Sauron: Shriek of Pain Lulu, Gimli, and Pippin receive 100 damage and become confused. Pippin Faints, replaced by Gandalf.
Lulu: Thundara! Gimli is fried. He is replaced by Frodo
Frodo: Permanent look of Fear. Nothing happens
Gandalf: Aid Lulu isn't confused anymore.
Lulu: Fira! Seymour becomes a pile of ash
Sauron: Copycat: Fira! Lulu is burnt to a crisp. Tidus goes in.
Frodo: I'm adorable pose Everyone goes "Awww"
Tidus: Well I'm HOTT pose Girls drool
Sauron: I'm butt ugly and evil, but you two are annoying attack! 700 damage to Frodo and Tidus. Both faint. Merry comes in.
Merry: Scream attack 9 damage to Sauron's Ears. Sauron's ears fall off.
Sauron: Dude! My ears attack. 400 damage to Merry. Merry faints. Nobody's left to go in.
End RPG MODE
"Dude, that worked out perfectly. I must say, for being new at this whole evil business, you're quite good Gandalf."
"Indeed. Thank you my old friend."
"Shall we go conquer Middle Earth?"
"Indeed." The two go off and do evil things like taking the blueberries out of blueberry muffins and painting white tigers pink.
Legolas is still running over the hills and far away.
Everyone is lying on the ground, fainted, except for Cid, who goes around and draws on their faces with permanent marker.
END 'CHAPTER' FOUR
*** And there you have it! Yet another chapter up. I'm sorry about Rikku and Brother last chapter…whoops…yeah, as you guys began to remind me of the times when it is mentioned, the facts came back and whacked me in the head…sorry! Please review! On to review thanks! ***
~Haytham~ I was talking about how to spell Kimahri's name.
~Heartless Ronin~ Thanks for informing me about Rikku and Brother being related. I'm glad you found this entertaining though! And you reviewed twice!
~LadyAGJK~ Ahhh!! I can't believe you weren't on my last thank you list! I'm so sorry! I also preferred the McDonalds one. Thank you for voting! I tried to call…I got answering machines galore! *sob*
~Dark Shampoo~ I'm glad you want more! Here more is! I didn't have Wakka and Lulu get married because…um…quite simply, I just forgot. *sigh* I'm so scatter brained sometimes… It's okay. You can review in Spanish. I know a little bit…pero, yo no hablo mucho Español. Lo siento.
~Jackie~ I'm glad you got a good laugh.
~FF Phreak~ Thanks for voting!
~hilo~ Thanks for voting!
~Saranomy~ Hehe, I like those parts too. *grins* I wasn't sure…were you voting for Pets? Lol. (sarcasticness galore) Thank you SO much for reviewing!
~Skuka~ Yes, 'tis strange and random. A far cry from my Harvest Moon story, but I hope they are both enjoyable. Thanks for reviewing!
~Crono101~ Well, this one was in more of a story format. Enjoy? Oh, and thanks for the nice E-mails too!
~Mijii Mage~ Hehe, I love the McDonald's idea… *grin* Thanks for voting!
~Tao1~ Seymour is EVIL! Thanks for voting!
Now, onto your choices to vote for!
~Theme Park~0
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~Pets~2
~Harry Potter~0
Other FF Characters~1
Pokémon~0
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Stuck in each other~0
Councilors~1
Vegi-tales~0
Matrix~ NEW
Sports~ NEW
Meet the author~ NEW
Describing their bedrooms~ NEW
***Okay! I'm done now! Really I am!!! Review please! This one took A LOT of work. ***